


NOT ALONE

by MaHae_crumbs



Category: NCT (Band), Red Velvet (K-pop Band), We Go Up - NCT Dream (Music Video), Without You - NCT U (Music Video)
Genre: Anxiety Disorder, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Minor Character Death, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:55:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 92,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26440780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaHae_crumbs/pseuds/MaHae_crumbs
Summary: "sᴛᴀʏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍᴇ ғᴏʀᴇᴠᴇʀ."ᴀᴅᴍɪsᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ɴɪɢʜᴛᴍᴀʀᴇs ᴀɴᴅ ʜɪs ᴅᴇᴇᴘᴇsᴛ ғᴇᴀʀs ʜᴇ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅɴ'ᴛ ʟᴇᴛ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴀɴʏᴏɴᴇ, ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴡᴀs ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴏɴᴇ ᴡʜᴏᴍ ʜᴇ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏs ʀᴇʟʏ ᴏɴ. ʟɪғᴇ ᴍɪɢʜᴛ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏs ɢɪᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴄʜᴏɪᴄᴇ ᴏғ ᴛʜɪs ᴏʀ ᴛʜᴀᴛ, ʙᴜᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɪғ ᴛʜᴏsᴇ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ᴀ ᴄʜᴏɪᴄᴇs ᴏғ ʟɪғᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ ғᴏʀ ʜɪᴍ?2 sᴏᴜʟs ғᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ sᴀᴍᴇ ʙᴀᴛᴛʟᴇ ʙᴜᴛ ᴏɴᴇ ᴄʜᴏsᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡʀᴏɴɢ ᴡᴀʏ. ʙᴜᴛ ᴡᴀs ᴛʜᴇ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sᴏᴜʟ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ sᴄᴀʀ ʜᴇ ғᴀᴄᴇᴅ, ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴏɴ ʜɪs sɪᴅᴇ? ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ's ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʜᴇ ᴡᴏɴᴅᴇʀᴇᴅ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ."...ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ sᴜʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ғɪᴛ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇᴅ, ᴍᴀʀᴋɪᴇ?"ᴠᴏɪᴄᴇs ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʜᴀᴜɴᴛ ʏᴏᴜ, ᴀʀᴇ ᴛʜᴏsᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴇɴɢʀᴀᴠᴇᴅ ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴍɪɴᴅ ғᴏʀᴇᴠᴇʀ.-ᴘꜱ💸🏹
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	1. Station 1

“Chapter 15th! I left that important part."

The twenty-year-old boy wakes up grunting from his queen size mattress, rubbing his eyes in exasperation with his fingers. He goes into the washroom cursing himself, "Donghyuck, you are an idiot... How can you leave the most important part of your history test?"

Having said that, Donghyuck isn't an idiot. He isn't lazy either. He is one of the most meticulous and sincere students at his university. He is a very committed person and makes sure he achieves what he aspired for. He is like a role model to his fellow mates and always present in the teachers' good books often leading to resentment by the other students. 

He revises the lesson while brushing his teeth with the toothbrush in his right hand and his mobile phone on the left. After a quick shower for seven minutes, he comes down the stairs almost tripping himself with the sweat of tension dripping all over his body. 

"Careful Hyung! We don't want you to die until you become Seoul's famous Lawyer, do we?" a voice interrupts Donghyuck's brain which was busied revising the events of The French Revolution. 

Donghyuck hisses in pain over his sudden action, "Don't worry chenle that wouldn't happen, at least not until you die in my hands you brat" He says a bit annoyed over his brother's words. 

Chenle chuckles seeing his brother's condition and celebrating his victory over annoying his dear older brother he says, "Yeah sure, a law student committing a crime. I would haunt you as a spirit when you are locked up behind the bars."

"Look who is talking? A young scientist talking about haunting me after I kill him? Wow, now that's what I call ridicule." Donghyuck sighs, "Anyways chenle, I'm not allowing myself to get distracted, so I'm going to study for my exam."

"Donghyuck! Chenle! Come here, the breakfast is ready," a middle-aged woman in a rainbow-colored dress calls out her children to the dining table.

The younger one immediately responds with a "Yes mom, I'm a second away" and comes to the table fixing his shirt tucking inside the belt.

Meanwhile, Donghyuck, too much unaware of the proceedings in the house, flips the pages more messily and turns to his mother with a sudden jerk almost a minute late after the call for breakfast, which is what his mother calls a delayed reaction. 

He meets his mother's face with a frown protruding from her horn-rimmed spectacles, like a stern lecturer and so was she. 

Donghyuck immediately retracts his gaze from the history notebook and responds with a 'sorry' to his mother.

Just as he started to devour the half-burnt toast to sink his hunger away, a man in his fifties or so came fixing his tie and sat next to his elder son witnessing him having his breakfast.

"Hyuck, what are you up to? Exam today?" said his father combing Donghyuck's disheveled hair to which the boy nodded in a hurry, still bubbling his mouth in which a considerate amount of food was stuffed. 

Mr.Lee smiled, "Don't worry, my boy, but you would not probably be tensed if you followed my meditation therapy-"

"Thank you, Dad, I was getting late already,” gesturing his father's hand running through his hair strands “But your psychology isn't going to help me right now,” still tugging the food forcefully in his mouth. 

"Yeah, of course. When has it ever helped you? You are the only person helping yourself right?" his father said rolling his eyes playfully aware of his son's mindset.

Donghyuck had the audacity to play with his father even when he was troubling his mind over a test and that was something he was very proud of. It wasn't like he hated his father's job (well, it did feed his family) but teasing wouldn't hurt. But he did hate how all the psychological facts drain the reality of what he witnesses, so it was obvious that he would be skeptical about it. He believes what he sees. He believes the evidence, not the words. He believes in the law. He is disciplined to the law and legislature more than his relations (not that he has had any; too dense to have one) 

_______

After completing his breakfast, Donghyuck got ready for his university and was soon met by a groan from a twenty-year blonde boy also named Jeno Lee.

"Hey, Donghyuck be quick. We are already late today. "

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I'll be there, wait" said Donghyuck zipping his backpack who was soon interrupted by a familiar voice that said, "Bye Hyuckiee, all the best and make your mom a proud teacher of yours." Donghyuck gave her an assuring smile waving her goodbye before running to Jeno to walk the bus stop. 

"Hyuck, my mom said that she will be coming to the University with yours. You know, like the lecturer - lecturer bonding" jeno said, chuckling.

Donghyuck giggled, "Yeah, I know"

Jeno and Donghyuck's mother work in the same university as the lecturers. Donghyuck's mother had met the former's in their university and she could guarantee, Donghyuck was a lot naughtier, brattier, and brighter than Jeno.

Donghyuck Met jeno while his mother was introducing him to the staff present in the University. That's how Donghyuck met his first friend at the university and they used to hang out frequently. 

Jeno also studied the same course as Donghyuck, i.e law. Jeno was also the sports captain of the batch and was a popular dude in the college. On the other hand, donghyuck was popular for his excellence in academic performance and sincerity. 

_______

Meeting the massive grounds of the university, the two boys took a deep breath before entering the examination halls. The breeze of tension touching her bodies, they met a familiar boy on the desks completely engrossed in his books. 

"Hi, Jaemin!" greeted the two boys at their friends. 

"Hi gu-" Jaemin was interrupted by a not so familiar voice.

"Good morning everyone, now close your books and get ready for the test," said a sweet yet dark-toned male voice whose name was Kim Doyoung, the English lecturer and the invigilator for their exam. All of them responded with a yes, sir, and did the same. 

After the distribution of papers, Donghyuck examined the paper thoroughly, happy to have found out that there are only a few answerable questions from the chapter he forgot to revise. 

Starting off with the exam, he dropped his pencil by accident. In an effort to pick it up from the floor, he leaned down his bench, his eyes meeting something in the desk. He gasped as low as possible and panicked at the sight. 

On his desk, there were sheets of paper. Yes, chits of paper which may or may not contain the subject of the exam he was writing. Donghyuck didn't know what was in there but surely knew that there is a need to worry. Having a paper in an exam (irrespective of the contents present in it) is not something certain, not something which can be considered normal or ignored otherwise. 

He somehow managed to unfold the paper only to send jitters through his spine. 

He is tricked. 

Someone had written the concepts of the subject in the pieces of paper and placed them in Donghyuck's desk. Donghyuck troubled his mind over finding out about the people responsible for the action and he only felt disgrace at that moment. 

He started sweating as the beads of sweat overflew from his forehead and limbs were shaking in fear. His palm quivered in fear and the white papers slipped off his fingers to the floor. 

His chicken heartedness grew even more realizing that the papers are now visible to everybody. In the very next moment, he immediately bent down to take over them in order to hide it and not get caught and be accused of cheating which was rather fake. 

But, it seems like God wasn't on his side that particular day. He groaned in pain as he twisted his ankle in an unfamiliar manner and his leg twitched with the sudden collision with the rod of the bench. 

Alarmed by the sudden voice in the reticence of the classroom, Mr.Doyoung Kim turned towards the ailing boy worried. 

If anybody said that Donghyuck is in pain, it is an understatement. He felt like clusters of ants biting over his leg and sucking the life of it in clutches. Donghyuck would even cry over the pain but he has got a bigger problem to look into. 

If anyone finds out that he had chits in his desk, he will be punished. Donghyuck never cheated on the exam throughout his life. He never needed to. He believed cheating could never benefit him and he had been a bright and studious child in his class and wasn't the type of student to do this stuff. At least that's what he considered for his favorite subject, history.

Donghyuck was interrupted by a loud scream which was, of course, Mr.Doyoung.

"What am I seeing Donghyuck? You were trying to cheat on the exam? "

The voice was very fierce and terrifying. Donghyuck felt a loud thud in his chest. 

Mr.Kim continued, "Answer me Donghyuck, why did you do this? I wasn't expecting this from you Donghyuck."

"Sir, I have no idea how these came on my desk. In fact, it's not even my handwriting. Please trust me, sir," Donghyuck said, shaking. 

On the other hand, jeno and jaemin looked at each other. They were shocked but knew their friend couldn't do this.

"Don't pretend... You can't give me excuses. I'm allowing you for this time for writing the exam, " as he somehow trusted Donghyuck and he knew he was a bright student and wouldn't do this; "But, we are speaking with your mother about this after the exam. " He heard a few whispers in the classroom and said, "and I don't want any noise in the class, no discussions about this... Carry on with your test"

All the students resumed their business but you can see two boys seem worried, jeno and jaemin. Donghyuck turned towards them with wet eyes, tears threatening to fall down at any instant.  
They knew Donghyuck was tricked by someone at this point. Jeno nodded assuring him that they trusted him while Jaemin lipped 'it's okay, all the best' to his friend.

Donghyuck was somehow satisfied that at least someone was on his side and present for him, and gave them a sad and sheepish smile muttering a thank you to them. 

_______

As soon as Donghyuck completed his exam, he submitted his paper to the teacher. After this process, Donghyuck walked with Doyoung to his mother, who was also the head of the examination department. 

As he moved out of the class, he saw a short male with a welcoming smile coming for a handshake. 

Donghyuck cut him off and loudly whispered to him, voice very tensed "Renjun, I can't talk right now" and left a bewildered Renjun at the corridor.

The Hwang Renjun Donghyuck had just met was one of his very few friends whom he respected for standing for his commitment. He always encouraged the male to go on with his passion for forming a doctor as he was always called upon, in his middle school days, for dreaming in a common aperture. But being a doctor is something he craved as, since childhood, he wanted to save the world.

If Donghyuck didn't sound so exasperating, he would be mad at him for ignoring him. But now, it was different. He felt worried and was sure that something was wrong. 

Later, Renjun heard a few voices from the side. He may or may not have eavesdropped them. 

"Well-done xiaojun, we must applaud ourselves for this"

"It was my idea yangyang, not Xiaojun's."

"Shut up Hendery, it's not who has it done, it's 'how' that matters"

"Now, Lee Donghyuck's sincere image will be ruined"

Renjun gasped in shock and shaped his opinion that these three are responsible for Donghyuck's situation. He was sure smart. 

He immediately went to jeno and jaemin and asked them about the whereabouts of Donghyuck. 

"Exactly right, I didn't expect him, a lecturer's son to cheat in an exam... He kept chits in his desk, disgusting. But I thought donghyuck wasn't like that. We can't trust anyone right?" He heard two girls gossiping about Donghyuck. 

Renjun got shocked and finally made out the truth that the three friends were responsible for Donghyuck's predicament. Honestly, he was raged because he didn't expect them to go this far for the mere differences between them. Sure, he knew they were also at fault for hurting them but it was obviously two-sided. University Captaincy was all they fought about, but soon, with the outrage of inconsequential turmoils, they often got to be known as the rivals. They did hate extra attention from the fellow students but often dug their grave into this, every time they argued. 

Yangyang and Hendery also remarked how it was unfair for them to place the cabinets when Donghyuck and Jeno were teachers' children. 'College Nepotism' Yangyang would often say. So, here they were. Ruining the same image of being a lecturer's child.

"You know Renjun? Donghyuck was tricked by somebody and made everyone think that he cheated" Jaemin said hurriedly to Renjun as he reached them. 

"I know jaemin, I know who did it as well," said Renjun. 

"what? Who did it? We must complain about them" said Jeno, all serious. 

"Yangyang, Hendery and Xiaojun," said the short male.

"My God, we shouldn't have known, come on, we shall go to Mr.Kim and tell him the truth," said jaemin.

"Calm down Nana, we must go check upon Hyuck first," said Renjun. 

_______

"Good morning Mr. Kim. How was your invigilation today?" a woman with an article of formal clothing and spectacles on her round eyes asked him. 

"Yes Mrs.Sooyeon Lee, but I had to tackle a student who tried to cheat in the exam," said the man. 

"Oh really? Who is it? " asked the woman almost bothered by then. 

Later a boy of medium height, taking baby steps with hesitation entering the room.

"Donghyuck? Why are you here? " asked his mother with her eyes filled with fear and sternness in the voice by now.

"yes, Mrs.Lee... It's your son who cheated. Even I couldn't believe at first but assumed it might have been because of the stress or pressure. I don't get to decide his fate so I let him write the test nonetheless. But as a parent, you must know."

"It's okay Mr. Kim. Thank you for letting it slide. I surely believe it's the first time he is doing this. Good thing that you informed me, I'll look into it" said Donghyuck's mother. 

"No problem, it's my duty anyway. I'll get going now, getting late for the classes" said doyoung moving out of the class 

"Sure, Mr. Doyoung Kim," she said smiling and completely unfazed by the news. 

But one person who felt thousands of rides of emotions through his body stood there, not understanding anything. He couldn't understand why his mother didn't react. He was confused. He didn't understand if his mother was mad at him but felt sad anyhow. He felt very sad over the false allegations proposed against him. 

Not knowing what to do, he moved out quickly although limping his leg because of the injury he had got in the class, without allowing a proper private conversation between his mother and himself. 

He limped and ran his way to the ground under the tree where he and his friends often meet at. Whenever they had any issue, they would meet at their dream spot and had their time with each other.

Donghyuck settled his backpack on the ground and sat down. He felt the cold breeze touching his face and drying the salty tears falling his eyes so he brought his knees closer to his face covering it and trying to find peace and tranquility in the stillness, cold breeze passing above his head as if patting him, saying it's okay. 

But after a good 6 minutes of silence, he felt something soft touching his back. Something that's not a breeze. Something more lively. Something human. Yes, it was a human hand. 

He extended his legs and turned to his right seeing a white face with nerdy black-framed specs over his round-shaped eyes. He looked worried and asked Donghyuck, "Hey, are you okay?" in English.

Donghyuck didn't understand English but was sure enough to know what people would ask him in that condition. He replied, "please leave me alone" but the other wasn't ready to go. 

"Please tell me, what happened-" but was alarmed by the sound of the bell and a loud voice from meters away shouting, "Hey mark, get here, you will get late to the class". Mark groaned but had to leave anyway; he didn't want to get detention from Ms. Taeyeon. 

Although he felt guilty about leaving a boy alone, he was compelled. As he reached Lucas, the other got irritated and said, "Where were you, Mark? Myself, JaeHyun, and winwin are tired of waiting for you always" to which Mark felt guilty of course. He responded, "Sorry Lucas, sorry winwin, sorry jaehyun" bowed to them playfully which in turn earned a slap from winwin. 

Meanwhile, Donghyuck sat there gazing into the stillness hearing the birds chirping and admiring nature. 

The three friends came running to the Boy as they expected him to be there. Jaemin immediately hugged Donghyuck and the others explained to him what happened. 

Donghyuck must agree upon the fact that he has got the best friends he could possibly ever get. They were the ones who approached Donghyuck when he couldn't mingle with the varied personalities in the university. Jeno and Jaemin conventionally became his friends supporting the fact that they belonged to the same class. Although Renjun was adopted by the other three when they were impressed by his amazing wit and intelligence. Renjun's brother, Winwin, also helped them when a senior ragged them for which their bond became stronger.

_______

"Get here kids, dinner is served," said Mr.Lee from the living room. The two siblings came down immediately after the notice and sat near the table. 

Donghyuck felt the silence uncomfortable and the awkwardness was evident judging how thick the atmosphere was. But his mother isn't questioning him too. They haven't had a proper face to face conversation of what happened since morning. It was all awkward too since Chenle wasn't there for some time in the evening due to his music classes. It was just him and his mother all that time. 

He can't handle it anymore. He gathered his courage to speak out. He abruptly called his mother and said, "Mom, the thing about today, it wasn't my fault really. Someone else kept it inside my desk."

"Really Donghyuck? You thought I would believe Mr.Kim? I know for 20 years till now and I trust my child more than my eyes." his mother said smiling. 

Donghyuck was taken aback honestly. He knew his mother was strict but now understood that she is supportive as well. He smiled brightly and hugged her tightly overwhelmed by her words.

"But Hyuck, do you know who they were?" asked his Dad, concerned.

"Come on dad, please let us enjoy the food. Should we be always worried about something? This is the only time we get for each other. Let's not ruin it." said the youngest pretending to get annoyed but everyone knew it was his petty yet cute attempt to lift the mood. 

The others chuckled at the silliness and went for it. Sharing the tales of each other, they had an amazing meal and an amazing time altogether for the night. Maybe God is on his side today, Donghyuck thought.

Aftermath dinner, Donghyuck went to his father to explain his question during dining time. Noticing his son coming towards him, he placed the bookmark from his right pocket at the corner.

"You owe me an answer, dear," said his father. Donghyuck just smiled and gave a "you would know" type of look. 

"Wait, is it because of those three boys you talked about that day?" 

Donghyuck nodded yawning and went listening to what his father said, "kids, these days…"

"We are not kids…" Donghyuck yelled, slightly offended. 

"Yeah sure, you seriously fight over petty things. The more think about it, the more it will trouble you" 

Donghyuck could agree upon that but couldn't get himself to get over it.

"But dad, I really didn't expect mom to forgive me. In fact, she didn't even think it was a mistake...that's surprising. " Donghyuck muttered genuinely shocked.

"Me too, honestly," he said chuckling. "Your mom had always been the strict lecturer since birth, not even sparing her husband in the matters of discipline. Not allowing me to drink is not good, Donghyuck" he said again keeping a playful annoying expression. 

Donghyuck, on the other hand, having the time of his life laughing at what he said. That's the reason he liked his father a lot. He never felt as he was older and never let the generation gap compel them to distance each other. 

The fake boss, i.e his mother and the youngest came down and the lady asked them to stop talking already. She scolded her husband for keeping donghyuck awake at this hour and also gestured at how he was yawning all the time. 

Donghyuck and chenle gave each other 'they are at it, again' looks and facepalmed themselves at the second-hand embarrassment their parents gave them. They argued like children and just let their playful fight slide over and drifted to the dreamland as they entered the room.

_______

“Stop kicking my legs, will you, Lucas? I'm trying to focus!” Jaehyun raged, while he kept his voice as low as possible. “This has become a joke to you every day,” Jaehyun mumbled under his breath. 

Mr. Doyoung was busy with his regular class completely lost in the lesson while Lucas was trying to make things funny (definitely not funny to the victim though)

Mark who was sitting beside Jaehyun was laughing uncontrollably and  
Winwin next to Lucas wasn't having any of this at all. Time to time he regretted the way they behaved like this. ‘At least they didn't get into trouble’ that's the only thing that kept him optimistic. When he realized Mark was now dying of laughter, he hit him on his shoulder to bring him back to earth and that he needed to listen to the class.

"Suddenly the words do not sound or mean the same, it's the new language for the writer and the reader, no poem can be read in the same way, it can mean different to each of us and this is one of the reasons why Poetry is an elusive art form." Mr. Doyoung Kim explained.

Mark was able to catch up with the topic after a minute that Mr. Doyoung was giving them an introduction to 'Poetry and its importance' as a fundamental class for the upcoming poetry classes.

The university bell rang with an announcement from Doyoung that the class was going to have a poetry test the next day.

_______

“I don't understand what's with Jisung!” Jaemin began ranting about his younger brother, just like every day, while they were on the way to their next class. “And I don't understand if I should be concerned or just let it go.”

“Why? What happened?” Donghyuck asked whilst searching for something in his backpack and Jeno was looking at Jaemin's rants with his cute eye smile.

“Didn't I tell you about his dance classes? He has gone crazy, especially during the nights and smacked-”

"Oh no! I got the wrong books!" Donghyuck let out interrupting Jaemin. 

The others gave him a 'are you Serious' look, while Donghyuck ran saying he'll be back before the class starts.

"Jisung is no longer the only idiot I know, thank God you exist otherwise I can't deal with all this myself, Jeno-ya," Jaemin said dramatically putting his head on Jeno's shoulder to which Jeno blushed light pink.

Donghyuck hurriedly came back to the class and was happy that the class didn't start yet and few seniors were still talking to Mr. Doyoung, outside the classroom. One of them was Winwin hyung and the other he could recognize to be the same one who tried to calm him down during the exam misadventure. 

"Donghyuck!!" Jeno waved from inside the class to ask him to come inside before Mr. Doyoung knew that he's late. When winwin saw him, he flashed him a smile and Donghyuck sneaked inside the classroom. 

_______

"Woo...I can't believe he took a whole 5mins to explain. I would've slept if he managed to take another minute, I swear." Winwin complained about Mr. Doyoung as he and Mark were walking to take their books for the next class. 

"But Seriously he's amazing, right? I love how logical he is and the way he manages to choose right and simple words for us to understand." Mark replied. "By the way, You happened to know that guy in the classroom, the one who was late?" Mark added a question as they took their books from the locker.

Winwin paused as if he was recollecting who Mark was asking about and nodded as a yes. "Yeah. One of Renjun's best friends. Why?" 

"Nothing. I thought I saw him somewhere."

"I'm not surprised. Donghyuck is quite famous.” 

Mark was sure that the boy whom he comforted the other day was the same boy named Donghyuck or whatever. Now Mark's interest rose on what exactly happened that he cried but decided to shrug it off since it's none of his business. 

Later in the evening, Mark dropped into his couch and sighed after he reached his house. Dealing with people was tiring especially in the University when you have to pretend everything is well and good. 

He took the bottle of medications from his bag and swallowed the pills with the utmost difficulty. He was aware that these pills might not cure him but at least it helps in managing the warnings for his so-called GAD or generalized anxiety disorder as his psychiatrist told him. 

These pills in reality gave him the anxiety, reminding him of that monster who caused nightmares in his life. He was never going to forget the terrible words he used or his ugly hands that hurt his skin. 

"I heard that you've got your maths results? It's a shame that you didn't get full marks in your test. How pathetic.” he remembered those unmotivating words he used to make him feel sick as ever. He traced the scar on his wrist and shakily inhaled. The bruise might not hurt him today, but those memories would forever 

Distracting himself from his thoughts he walked to his room and cleaned himself. Walking back he made himself cereal and opened his books to complete the day's revision and homework.

The phone suddenly buzzed interrupting him.

He answered it, meeting his mom's beautiful voice. 

"How was the day, Mark?" She asked sweetly.

He answered with a "good" to his mom and she went on with her daily routine and he hardly shared his. Or maybe that's how it worked with him and his mom. 

His mom is one of the sweetest he has ever met, the way she tries to make a close relationship between her and Mark makes him happy, even his dad or his older brother Johnny for that matter. 

"How did your accounts and business exam go, dear?" she asked all of a sudden. 

Mark's heartbeat rose as he heard that question. The answer is, he knew nothing. Perhaps, she would ask him about his course English Literature and he might tell her. But it's been a whole year since his parents are assuming that he's studying business. Why, might you ask? No one likes to study something you don't love, but confessing that to your business minded strict parents could be a tough job.

"They were good, j-just had problems with accounts," he replied, gathering his courage and tried to ignore his stomach churning with the lie. 

"It's okay as long as you're making us proud, my dear. You're eating and sleeping on time right?" she asked. 

More like kicking out of their family tree if they knew that he's cheating on them. And sleeping, he managed to find some 4-5 hours of them. But making them proud, yes he was. Ask his teachers about most sincere and good students, Mark always made the list irrespective of academics or anything.

"Yes mom, I need to go to the music class, talk to you later," he said and hung up immediately breathing out his uneasiness fighting back his tears.

_______

"You're an idiot, Chenle-yah!" Donghyuck cried out as he heard what his brother said. "Can't you see how much syllabus I need to cover? I can just do a whole chapter instead of coming to your music school, you dumbass!"

Chenle rolled his eyes. “And what you do is to text that silly classmate of yours in the name of explaining the chapter, do you think I am that stupid or that you're so naive that you don't notice that she's flirting with you?" He paused. "Moreover, what the heck uses 'did it hurt when you fell from heaven' even today? Jisung flirts better than her hyung!! Please." Chenle ended his explanation savagely showing a hand to his brother to stop with that stupid excuses. 

Donghyuck looked at his mother who was leaning to the door listening to their conversation.

"Boy has a point, Donghyuck. You should go with him, if you're done you can come down and have your snacks." Donghyuck whined as his mother left the room without listening to him. 

"Hyung. I know you like singing, please, it'll be fun, even Jaemin and Jeno Hyung joined the dance class, if you don't like it you don't come from tomorrow." Chenle said sincerely which made Donghyuck nod in agreement. 

_______

"Woah! I didn't expect the campus to be this big." Donghyuck gaped at the building. He even saw the campus had an auditorium bigger than he expected and the ground surrounding it.

"Yea. It's big, moreover, there are different competitions and cultural fests going on every month or every week if it's on-demand so.." Donghyuck nodded at Chenle's explanation. "The teachers are professionals you know," Chenle added.

As both of the brothers walked inside, they already saw the class was filled with students and some were adjusting their instruments, or the others were scribbling something in their books which Donghyuck thought were the notations. 

Donghyuck looked towards the direction where he heard his name to be called and formally bowed to him as respect. The trainer was a very handsome man who was small and didn't seem any older than Donghyuck. 

"I told you about him yesterday," Chenle said, smiling widely. 

"Aah, yes. You're older brother if I am not wrong." He said smiling, as Chenle nodded in agreement. "Glad to meet you Donghyuck, I am Moon Taeil, the head trainer here. You can call me hyung." He introduced himself and extended a hand towards Donghyuck. 

Donghyuck accepted and smiled.  
"So, you wanted to learn Vocal right?" To which Donghyuck nodded. “Good, can we hear something from you? I can give you the key if you want." Taeil said as he sat on the keyboard chair. 

Donghyuck nervousness got into maxima. He should've been mentally prepared for this, he refused for a key and decided to go with 'Justin Bieber's Purpose'.

He didn't know if it went off the scale but he was satisfied with it. He then understood how different it is to sing in the bathroom (which he was used to) and outside to the world.

Taeil nodded and smiled.  
"Good. You can go join the class."

Donghyuck bowed and walked back to the seats. Chenle nuzzled his shoulder and smiled proudly. 

"He looks so young," Donghyuck said as he sat with Chenle.

Chenle giggled and nodded. "Not to ignore to tell you that he's in his 25s." Donghyuck eyes widened.

"No way! he looks like a high school student." 

"So class." a female in her 20s addressed the class.

"Btw: She's Wendy. She's just amazing." Chenle whispered in Donghyuck's ear.

"As you know about the Music and Dance cultural fest of the year is going to be in the month of December," she announced.

“So, for the music, we'll divide you into different pairs, a few were done yesterday itself. In the final month, you will be left with the best 5 pairs, you and your partner will be selected by your performance, hard work, and ultimately your vocals or instrument performance, don't take anything for granted-" Wendy's speech was disturbed when there was a knock on the door. 

She sighed in frustration.  
“Last warning to all the latecomers. Yangyang and Hendery, you won't be excused next time.”

"Why didn't you tell me they are learning here too?" Donghyuck asked Chenle, baffled. "This ruined everything now," he said rolling his eyes.

"Hyung, it's not a big deal, just don't bother," Chenle said, patting his shoulder while he smiled at Jisung. Hendery, Yangyang walked to their places. 

Wendy and Taeil discussed the pairs for a few minutes and Donghyuck walked into his allotted seat.

He frowned looking at the familiar face again whom he happened to meet on exam misadventure day.  
“I hate this. Why am I running into him these days?!” he thought. He didn't want to discuss why he cried or was not ready for any of the 'oh I saw you crying the other day' talks. 

Meanwhile, Mark smiled at Donghyuck normally as if they never saw each other's faces which Donghyuck was pleased about.

Donghyuck saw Mark holding a guitar in his hands and extended his hands towards him. 

"Mark lee," he introduced himself. 

"Donghyuck."

Donghyuck saw Mark was wearing full sleeves which he rolled up till the elbow. He noticed an unusual bruise on his wrist which he couldn't take his eyes off. Brushing it off he shook hands with his new partner. 

_______

"Hyung, you scare me every time!” Mark whined as his own house door opened with a boy wearing his apron with black goggles looking very handsome.

"Your fault Mark," he said, walking inside as he let the younger one come in. “I come here every day and you're still not used to it.” 

Mark stared at his neighbor blankly who goes by the name Lee Taeyong.  
Not to mention that Taeyong is his personal psychiatrist. Maybe if he wasn't there he might've never been normal as he is today. He never believed in his medications but, he as a person helped him a lot. 

Mark didn't know how to Thank Taeyong for being in his life. Coming to Korea from Canada when he was 14 did a lot of changes in life. A boy who was mentally dying, today survived. Though Canada remained in his heart forever as a gem of his life, the people whom he had to face made Mark shiver in fear even today. 

When Mark and Taeyong were enjoying their dinner, Mark started blabbering about how the day went. 

"So you got a partner in your music class?" Taeyong asked.

"Yea. Remember a boy I told who was crying?" Taeyong nodded attentively. "He's the same guy. Seems nice. He's got a nice voice." 

Taeyong and Mark washed the dishes and Taeyong left saying he'll meet him tomorrow morning. 

4 hours after Taeyong left and yet he was still struggling to fall asleep. As much as Taeyong warned not to, Mark broke the rules many times, maybe every day. 

He took the sleeping pills from his desk, he had no other choice if he didn't want to fall weak tomorrow.

______

"So? How was your first day?" Jaemin asked, at their dream spot after they got tired of playing in their games. 

"It was really good, I'm thinking of continuing." Donghyuck said as Jeno and Jamein exchanged smiles meanwhile Renjun was busy studying about 'neural control and coordination'.

Renjun always knew their updates even though he's always lost in his Biology. Donghyuck looked at Renjun and sighed.

"Dude at least leave that alone, you said you had free since your Madam didn't turn up, and now what's the difference."

"If I learn this by tomorrow, I don't need to depend on her to understand this concept or maybe I'll understand better," Renjun said wiggling his eyebrows, leaving the three of them with blank faces. 

"I need to use the washroom," Donghyuck said and left the place. 

While Walking Donghyuck heard a familiar voice and stopped at their English classroom. He found Mark standing in front of the class reciting something in English. 

“-No one else has been able to make me so strong and vulnerable while just as safe and equally as humble.  
And who else can reassure me that although I may fail thousands of times and someone can adore me, still be crazy enough to love me the same? Your warmth, I've always felt just by your majestic hug and felt those thousands of words I just can't express, and I can never equally thank you for hiding me from all the darkness I can never face. Your embrace is what I am thankful for today. Take this subtle plea and in fact, I beg you to never let me go.”

Donghyuck needed the meaning but he could understand what Mark wanted to convey. Donghyuck didn't understand how being embraced could save him from the darkness. He just shrugged, shaking his head thinking poetry can make anything possible until reality strikes, and walked off as Doyoung's clapping sounds slowly decreased.

\-------

Mark, quite satisfied with the poem presentation in class, seats himself on his desk after gaining applause from Mr.Doyoung. 

Soon, a notification on his phone disturbs him and causes him to take a look at it. He looks around if he could sneak into his mobile carefully without the professor's notice and bents his head to check it secretly.

"Mark, how are you doing? "

"Remember me? I'm your beloved uncle."

"Uncle misses you a lot Markie, he loves you a lot Marku ya"

He contemplated his mind to calm down and just ignore but he blames the exasperating heat or the fact that he skipped breakfast that day made him feel a lot weaker. Mark gasped in shock with the sudden approach of his uncle. His face or just even his thought reminded him of the bruises all over his body. 

The permanent bruises which not only affected his body but also his mind, his whole freaking life. The leather which made contact with his skin shredded away his contact with his family.

Never has he liked his family since later. The manipulative words tore his love apart and turned into anxiety and depression. His uncle made him believe that his parents loved Johnny more than Mark and that they would never accept Mark going against their will.

Mark's head throbbed as if he carried the biggest cliff and eyes red with panic spreading to his whole surface. His limbs shivering even in the August heat of Seoul. But his body was hot as ever, so heated that could burn up his prosperity and give the smoke of fear that could never wither in the oxygen he got; despite being longitudes and latitudes away from him, his name can make a whole change in his condition.

Mark rushed his hands to his backpack to take out his pills and stuffed them inside his mouth. He tugged a liter full of water and moved out of the class as the big University bell rang and proceeded in the washroom to wash his face.

He washed his face and saw his reflection and the bruises, no, the scars left out on his body and soul which hindered and confiscated his condition, the things that formed him what he is now.

\--------

Tired of the stressful day, Donghyuck threw himself on the mattress reminiscing the events of the day. Managing the University and Music class is sure going to be hectic for him, he thought. 

His thoughts were silenced by a notification on his phone. 

21/04/2020  
SM university  
Monthly test results: Lee Donghyuck  
Economics: 90/100  
History: 94/100  
Geography: 80/100  
Political science: 89/100  
English: 68/100

Donghyuck could only bring a satisfactory smile curving up to his pretty lips. He felt relieved now that everyone is going to believe that he wasn't cheating. His hard work never disappointed him and always paid him with good results and progress. He could improve more in English but that wasn't his main subject anyway. He was Korean and it was difficult for him to mold into a foreign language.

He sighed. Suddenly a loud scream filled the silent room. 

"Chenle, calm down a bit... Why in the heck of the world of the universe which sadly exists are u screaming?" asked the older already clicking his tongue with annoyance filling his head to toe with the noise surrounding him. 

"Jisung and I held hands together.. I can't believe this actually happened... Oh my God, I'm malfunctioning" Chenle came ranting and disposing his bag on a corner of the room and holding his head in his milky looking fingers of one hand and the other tugging onto his black hair. 

You can see someone clearly disgusted with the revelation and that's no one but clearly Donghyuck himself. He gave him an 'I'm so done with you right now' look and continued, "So, my dear chenle, how about confessing your crush DIRECTLY RATHER SHOUTING IN MY EAR PRACTICALLY every day? YOU DO KNOW I CAN'T HEAR SANITY IN YOUR VOICE RIGHT?" Not that there is any, he thinks again.

"Hey! Hey!" Chenle retorted, "How about you wipe the bullshit from your mouth?" 

Donghyuck scoffed. "It's easy to say, okay? Do you know how it hurts when your interaction with your favorite person gets affected just because you caught feelings for them?"

"Are you really blind or pretending not to notice his flirtatious attempts to please you? He literally said that he likes you more than his Jaemin Hyung" continuing with "Yes, it's normal to say he likes someone other than Jaemin with his clingy and complaining behavior" said Donghyuck chuckling lowering his voice in a playful manner.

"Yeah, it's true... Jaemin Hyung is always touchy," said Chenle with his loud laughter.

"But chenle, seriously, confess to him already... I'm tired of hearing of your banters all day." said the older rolling his eyes.

"Yeah, this is a fairy tale story, right? I will confess to him and he will respond, 'you are my man, Chenle' and kiss me" said chenle obviously worried. 

"Look chenle, as far as I know, Jisung, he really likes you too, I will talk to Jaemin to confront him about this, don't worry," said Donghyuck in a comforting way. 

Chenle smiled happily with rainbows and sunshine in his mind and tightly hugged his brother, "I love you, Hyung."

Donghyuck spanked his head, "Yeah, fuck you too."

\-------

On the way to the washroom, Donghyuck was met with three boys staring at him in a not so pleasant manner. His blood practically boiled all over his body and the heat could probably burn those faces standing before him. 

"What the heck do you want? Can't you mind your business and move out the way?" blurted the said boy pointing at the boys who go by the names yangyang, Hendery, and xiaojun. 

"Why should we?" Hendery said, folding his arms.

"Geez, now do we have to fight like eighth graders? I thought we were done with that shit" Donghyuck said rolling his eyes.

"Oh, only if you had not cheated like an eighth-grader who is scared to write the exam." Yangyang snapped at him.

Donghyuck exhaled deeply but truth to be told, he was literally holding back from punching right in their faces. 

"You know very well, that I am not scared of the exam."

"Yeah, you were scared to fail then."

"You all aren't even ashamed about calling me out like that? Seriously? Now, are we making a mere issue so big that you plot against me?"

Saying that Donghyuck is mad is not a proper way to describe his condition. His gaze Could actually kill them to hell in a swift movement but Donghyuck did not want to pick a quarrel between them. That's also why he stopped Jeno from complaining against the three.

"Oh then- what about you when-?"

"Just get out of way, I need to use the washroom," said the furious boy rolling his eyes.

"What are you doing here, why are you troubling him" shouted a voice from a distance, but loud enough to cause an interlude between the four.

Donghyuck immediately comprehended the voice of his senior who he discerns is Mark lee. The same Mark lee who came to the tree when Donghyuck cried; the same Mark lee who was his music partner.

Donghyuck swore, he has felt embarrassment brimming his surface. Why does he have to encounter the same person again? He felt Mark's footsteps coming closer and he whacked his thoughts away.

"Who are you? And why should we listen to you?" 

"I don't need to tell you, but, I'm Mark. Not so nice to meet you but, hey, you better listen to me because I am your senior. If students can rag their same-age friends, me, as a senior, could rag you as well. Also, because you should not trouble him for anything. Now, move out"

For the first time in life, Donghyuck felt that ragging was reasonable to him. Later, he felt the boys leaving his way and looked down motionless.

"Thank you Mark Hyung" muttered the younger with a genuine smile on his face.

"No problem, but what were they talking about? Mind telling me?"

"A-actually I- ah! Is it really important?" He awkwardly blurted out scratching his nape.

Catching the discomfort, "Yeah, okay. Just don't get yourself into trouble." said Mark smiling.

Seeing the indication, Donghyuck smiled too. He was kinda happy with the older's actions and felt that he can be considered reliable like winwin Hyung. Maybe being with him isn't going to be that embarrassing.

\-------

Entering the gates of music class, Donghyuck could hear the sounds of excitement and nervousness from the Chenle who was going to ultimately confess to his crush. Jeno was absent that day which meant Donghyuck was alone to bear him. He gave him the idea that he could carry on with the process by calling Jisung to the instrument room in the break time and not disturb the class.

The elder brothers of the love birds faced each other shaking their heads and giggling. Both believed that Chenle and Jisung would definitely end up together and that both of them were equally oblivious of the other's actions.

Their eye to eye conversation was greeted by chenle and jisung appearing in front of their sights with hands intertwined showing that they were together from the following moment. 

"Oh my God, my ugly brother finally got a boyfriend. Thank you, Jisung, for accepting my brother." Donghyuck said, faking a cry which received a merciless pinch on his neck from his brother.

"Hyung, If you permit, Chenle and I are planning on going to a park,'' Jisung said hopefully in a low whisper and saw Donghyuck's expression of raised brows, ''Yeah, with my permission." He said.

Chenle hissed, "Pfft, why do you ask him? I will get along." Chenle smiled at Jisung and turned his head, to the older glaring at him, "Go home alone, Don't wait for me."

\------

"Today was fun,'' Donghyuck smiled as he chugged the water from the bottle and observed Mark humming for the same. As he closed the lid, he spoke, "You really play guitar well, you know."

Mark chuckled in embarrassment, "Thank you, you aren't bad yourself." He said trying to drain the awkwardness by talking freely and making each other comfortable.

"Not bad? Hyung, I respect you and all, but you must know I am more than just not bad."

"Just kidding,'' Mark grinned again at the younger's fake mockery. "I was just joking. You are amazing, no doubt."

"Yeah, no doubt."

"Now, I hope we would be amazing together,'' When Mark received no reaction from the opposite person, he realised what he said and looked into Donghyuck's almost smiling yet teasing face, "I mean, amazing while singing. I hope we do well in the competition."

Donghyuck encloses his mouth with a loud giggle and laughs beautifully.

"You know, I don't mean that." Mark defends.

"You are just so easily shocked. That's cute,'' He slapped the older's shoulder lightly seeing his conflicting expression.

"Yeah, whatever. But I really hope we make the best for the annual fest."

Donghyuck gave an affirmative nod at his statement and when the older offered to go together, he couldn't feel anymore delighted. He obliged with a heartful grin and it was no delay until they reached the stop. They spoke about mundane things, which were absolutely boring to Donghyuck but that's the least they knew of each other.

Mark paid no attention to what Donghyuck said but to Donghyuck himself. He was smiling all the time thinking about how beautiful Donghyuck looked and how his honey-like voice sounded when he localized. He was actually interested in Donghyuck from before but now he was sure attracted to him.

"So Chenle was the one who proposed Jisung?" Asked Mark curiously.

"Yeah, he liked him since God knows when," said Donghyuck smiling thinking of chenle. He looked at the orange sky because of the sunset which was blended with love and merry which touched his gentle eyelids and beautified his already beautiful tan skin. He enjoyed nature leaping into his soul, shredding all his issues and trapping them into the labyrinth. 

He continued, "It's really cute to see them be together. I can't believe he got so old that he has a boyfriend now. I remember the days when all he used to do on Sundays was sleep for 10 hours."

Mark attentively listened to him and it reminded him of him and Johnny and thought it's so cool to have a younger brother. On the other hand, Donghyuck dwelled in his own world.

Suddenly, he snapped out of his impressions when he felt a hand on his waist pulling him to the other side of the road and Donghyuck gripped his hand on Mark's t-shirt with fear when he saw a car was about to hit them.

Donghyuck made an expression of sough at going through the near-death experience. He mouthed a 'thank you' for which mark nodded.

He slightly released his grip on the older's shirt and gaped at the blood coming out of his neck region because of holding it too tightly with his nails.

He immediately asked forgiveness to Mark but only to collect a 'no problem' from the opposite person.

Donghyuck could sense the lack of conversation between them so he says, "We don't know much about each other, tell me more about yourself Hyung."

Mark smiled before making Donghyuck learn about his facts of studying English literature. Donghyuck felt amazed at how Mark reacted when knowing that Donghyuck's mother was their university lecturer. Sure, Mark didn't encounter her personally as that clashed with their subjects but he was just shocked that Donghyuck was a teacher's son.

"So, you are interested in books, right? What's the last book you have read?" 

"Umm... It's not an English book tho... It's a Korean one... It's called Pink Ribbons by Joana.A.Park" said Mark, taking out the book from his bag which took Donghyuck by surprise.

"Woah... You had this in your bag?"

"I carry one along with me all the time. That's my habit." Mark says shrugging.

"....amazing?" He says half flustered and half genuinely amazed. Mark squinted his eyebrows and scrunched his nose in embarrassment until his mind made a split-second decision.

"Hey, why don't you read this book?" Showing the book in the hold of his fingers, "It's really nice, I promise you won't regret reading it" all excited.

"You book lovers have a thing for asking others to read the book right? Even my dad does that" he said giggling cutely.

"Oh no, I'm actually not urging you okay? It's your choice if you want to read it" he said actually tensed.

"No. It's okay... I will read it" Donghyuck said, nodding.

The two boys were startled with the abrupt high pitched horn-tone commencing their ears indicating that their stop has come. They got up from their seats and Donghyuck was the first one to get down.

"So Hyung, can I have the book?" Donghyuck asked, leaning his hand towards Mark.

"Here" mark handed him the book. But later he asked, "If you want to review it... Then h-how?" He says stammering for some reason.

"Hyung, I have a strong feeling that you might have penned your phone number in this book," said Donghyuck, getting what the older man meant , smiling playfully. 

"And you say, we don't know much about each other" Mark said smiling confidently.

Donghyuck felt a flush on his face coming through at the sudden approach and said, "Are you trying to flirt with me, Hyung?"

"What do you mean?" 

"You know what exactly I mean, Mark Hyung. I'm not an idiot" 

He received a laugh from the other and they bid goodbyes to each other before proceeding to their residence.

\-------

During the dusk, Mark sat with Taeyong in the garden to have some fresh air flowing through his body while Donghyuck placed his head on his father's shoulder disturbing the older male from his phone. 

"How was your day?"

Both the boys smiled before answering the question. They started bantering about the events forming the day and suddenly, both of thestarteded suddenly.

"Today, we talked again," they said.

"Who?" Asked Taeyong and Donghyuck's father curiously.

"Mark Hyung and I"

"Donghyuck and I"

Both of them talked about each other to their psychiatrist friends unknowingly. 

Mark then leaned to take the biscuit from the chair to dip in his tea which caused his neck to expose a little making Taeyong gape at the sight.

"Omo! Did you get a hickey? Your neck looks red" said Taeyong, actually shocked.

"Are you mad or what? I got hurt here. It's because of the blood" slapping him.

"Thank God, I was so scared," Taeyong said, faking a gasp for which Mark gave him an eye roll and just continued what he was doing.

Donghyuck, on the other hand, showed him the book Mark lent him to his father and he appreciated him for his choice of reading.

Suddenly, Donghyuck blurted out laughing "Dad, you should have seen him, it was really like he was trying to flirt with me. God, it was funny. He was cute tho," he remarked.

"Hyuck, not to prude but will you get a boyfriend now?" His father said laughing unbelievably.

"Seriously?" He said, annoyed by now.

Both the psychiatrists laughed at the others' actions and enjoyed teasing them. Later the boys continued describing each other.

"It was so weird at first, but the awkwardness flushed away soon." reminiscing the way they didn't talk for minutes of their walk. 

"He is cute, kind, and nice. A very good partner and he sings really well,'' Mark remarked. 

"Come on, sleep now. It's getting late. Later don't complain when I wake your lazy self up tomorrow morning" 

"Okay, dad"

"Okay, Taeyong Hyung"

With this, both the boys entered their bedrooms with sleep filling their small eyes, causing their eyelids to carry the weight of sleep drifting upon them and loud yawns opening from their busy mouths and tiredness pouring their bodies on the soft mattress and slowly dreams making their way to the eyes thereby carrying them to the brains. 

\--------

Jaemin yawned as he read the notice "midterm examinations" and lazily walked towards the dream spot. He frowned looking at the silent conversation Jeno and Donghyuck were having and Jeno's face looked with a mixture of amazement and confusion.

"What happened?" Jaemin inquired as he sat down with them. 

“Donghyuck says Mark hyung saved him yesterday from Hendery and Yangyang!” Jeno began deliberately. “Mark hyung even tried to flirt with him and gave him a book with his phone number inside,” Jeno explained, still in shock. “This seems like a fairy tale, eh? Mark is more than what he looks like.”

Jaemin chuckled softly. "Don't judge a book by its cover Jeno-ya. But, seems like someone's trying for our love anti,” he said, nuzzling his shoulder, earning a glare from Donghyuck. 

"Wish I was there too. All this happens only when I don't turn up. " Jeno said with a frustrated sigh making the others chuckle. "And, remember we are having our football practice?" 

Jaemin immediately looked at the climate which seemed like it's going to rain soon. “Is the practice going to be canceled if it rains?”

"Nah, I don't think so. Remember Jeno had to practice last time even if it rained?” Donghyuck said looking at Jaemin who hummed in response. 

\-------

"A soccer practice? We have midterms in a month, and y'all are wasting time with this practice?" Renjun complained, keeping his voice as low as possible in the library. 

“It's a game for like an hour, not a whole day and that shouldn't hurt,” Jaemin said with a chuckle. 

Renjun shook his head as a 'no' and the others stared at him with pleading faces. "Fine! But I'm leaving right now," he said while the others looked at him with a confused face. "What? Didn't I tell you, I had to clear Yeri's few doubts? I'll see you all in the evening after your practice then?" he said and waved them a bye and left the library.

“I don't know about Mark hyung, but someone here is definitely trying for Yeri,” Donghyuck said, making others giggle in agreement. 

Donghyuck saw their coach, Nakomoto Yuta, talking to a few of the girls of the university and earned a, “They would never leave a chance to talk to him, would they?" from Jeno. Jaemin and Donghyuck laughed. “They would not!” they added together.

The girls can't be blamed, being a National player and the only one who was a Japanese in the whole university with his long hair always tied up into a ponytail attracted everyone's attention especially when he played along with the students. Not to mention how strict and intimidating he could get. He had good command over the game and the University team always had the best players.

Donghyuck rolled his eyes when he saw Yangyang and Hendery. They looked back at them with the same blank and disinterested faces just like Donghyuck, Jeno, and Jaemin. 

The match started off peacefully with Hendery's team winning the toss and consequently was the first to commence the play. The match became much more interesting since both the teams were rivals and the students were anticipating the winners and reactions of the losers. 

The first few minutes of the game went with keeping the groups fighting equal and each having the same chances of kicking the ball to the home. Donghyuck didn't miss a chance to take the ball to the goal post. Jaemin and Jeno anticipated for the best and soon one side of the team filled with loud cheers as Donghyuck kicked the ball into the net, earning a point. 

The next half an hour was rough for both the teams, Donghyuck couldn't deny that both the team's defenders, Jeno and Hendery, were amazing. The scoreboard went on tough competition, it felt as if no one was going higher but were fighting on the same boat waiting for one to fall. 

All the players dropped down exhausted during the break. Donghyuck was now very much interested to win when he saw the tension growing in Yangyang's face.

The teams were talking with each other until Yuta walked towards them for news. Both the teams gathered around Yuta as he folded his hands and addressed them. 

“Good job everyone today. We'll conclude here and I appreciate your efforts, soon we'll have trials for the University football team. I hope you'll show your best.” Yuta smiled at Donghyuck after he completed his speech and that didn't go unnoticed by everyone.

“Nice goal right there, buddy.” Renjun joined immediately after their practice. 

The 4 of them walked talking about several events while a voice interrupted them. 

"Lucky much today, Donghyuck?" 

“Yangyang.” Jeno blurted.

"Jealous much that couldn't score one today by yourself eh?" Donghyuck said, raising his eyebrow.

“Remind you that you are talking with a regional player. Amateur nepo kids like you are not my level.”

“You are making things more complicated, Yangyang,” Jaemin said. 

“Remember because you were playing around, we need to suffer? How does it like to taste your own offenses?” Hendery let out.

“We apologized for it, Hendery. Was it being that hard to move on?” 

“Do you know how hard it is to gain the impression that is lost? And why would you even relate? You literally have your parents here.” Hendery scoffed. 

“It's not the same for all the kids, do you know what's hard work? How hard it's to gain a good impression and how much it takes to be captain of something, you could just get with a snap of your fingers and that's sick!” Yangyang added.

“It's your fault if you think we get by with a snap of our fingers, it's not easy, believe me and I know you won't. But at least today we are doing better than putting cheating chits on someone's desk!”

Yangyang walked forward, setting Donghyuck's hair, promptly, grabbing him by his collar. "I promise you, you'll be thankful for that, Lee Donghyuck." He whispered softly yet a warning voice leaving his collar with a smile. 

"Yangyang you better back the heck off!" Jeno raised his voice pushing Yangyang. 

“Admit it! You're just jealous! And I can't believe you're not tired of coming to us every time. Why don't you show this enthusiasm in the exams instead of wasting your time.” Jaemin let out.

Xiaojun and Renjun awkwardly looked at each other. It's not like both of them had any personal grudges against each other, they did fine in the class and they would run into each other if they had doubts. They were just here on their friends' side to support them.

Jeno scoffed. “Because they know, we are better than them.” 

“In cheating or…? Having the influence of your parents?” Yangyang said. 

Jeno and Donghyuck were reading to fight by this time. “Let's see that in the midterm examinations.” 

“Bet-” 

"Let's go, Yangyang, we're late already," Xiaojun added and Renjun tried to say, gripping Jaemin and Jeno's shirt.

“It's easy for us to gain the teacher's impression?! My foot!” Jeno let out frustrated after the other boys left. 

“Tell me about it. Mr. Doyoung looks at me like I'm some kind of animal every time I walk in front of him.” Donghyuck added with a frustrated sigh.

“Guys, I think you should just clear things again, they are not bad..” Renjun sighed.

“Are you really on our side?” Jaemin raised an eyebrow. 

“I'm not taking any sides, Nana, Xiaojun is always nice to me… and it wasn't his plan to do Donghyuck like that the others just don't know about you.” 

"You're too pure, Injun-ah." Jeno rolled his eyes. “We need to get our bags. You coming, Hyuck?” 

“Get mine will you?” Donghyuck sighed after the 3 of them left to get their bags. 

After some time Donghyuck felt a hand on his shoulder. “Hey.” He looked behind at a boy with Harry Potter glasses who smiled softly at him.

"Mark hyung!" Donghyuck said with a surprise. He noticed Mark who looked a little tired, his dark circles visible.

"You looked surprised." Mark chuckled.

"I was."

“Nice goal today by the way.” Mark complimented.

"You…? You saw what happened?" Donghyuck asked hopelessly.

Mark sighed. "Sadly. Yes. I was about to leave but then I stayed back. Had to make sure you won't go wild with your childish fights.” 

"Seriously hyung. Such a waste of time and attention." Donghyuck said putting his head in his palms. 

"Happens. It's okay, you will soon find a solution." Mark said as he put his hand on Donghyuck's shoulder comforting him.

Donghyuck nodded. They both shared a comfortable silence for a minute when Donghyuck's attention went on Mark's strange scar again. Unable to hold his curiosity he asked him about it. 

Donghyuck soon sensed their atmosphere getting thicker. He observed Mark was slightly uncomfortable with it. Mark chuckle made Donghyuck smile. 

"I burned while I tried to cook." He said awkwardly. 

"You scared me for a minute." Donghyuck giggled. "We need to practice our song too. Can we do it tomorrow?" 

"Maybe this Sunday? I'm going to the hospital tomorrow for my therapy-" Mark paused halfway realizing his mistake. 

"Huh?"

"Donghyuck let's go!" Jeno screamed, interrupting donghyuck. 

Mark immediately left saying he was getting late leaving behind a confused and concerned Donghyuck. He knew he wasn't gonna forget that and would ask him soon.

\-------

Donghyuck was soon greeted by concerned Dad and brother when he came home late. The next day the whole University got to know about their fight and that bet except the Professors, thankfully not even Donghyuck's mom. 

On the other hand, Mark's therapy went worse than he expected. He was soon falling into the pressure of exams, he knew he would do well, but the small fear that he can't make his parents proud made him vulnerable, and made him take his pills frequently than ever. 

Donghyuck and Mark now meet frequently for their practice. They thought of deciding their song after the exams until then they would practice basics that could give their voices a bit of exercise and Mark's guitar made him feel much relaxed and peaceful. 

As Donghyuck expected, the whole month flew instantly. And the first exam was in 12hours and he couldn't sleep properly. Yangyang seriously helped Donghyuck to always make sure that he checked his desk before he sat for the exam, and also made sure the others did too. 

The exams went faster than the preparation time and soon Donghyuck found himself leaping on his bed that it was his last exam. The papers were challenging yet all of them were manageable.

"History, in the end, is a satisfaction. Now I'm a free bird." He said looking at Chenle who was into his phone.

"Nah, not yet," Chenle said. "Possibly, you're gonna get something today?" He said, still looking into the phone. "Mom found about your fight, Dad told her when she asked him about why you aren't updating her with the university stuff." 

Donghyuck's courage lowered. "What the heck?!" 

"Chill. Dad managed to say it was a competition with marks and not with past problems. She was okay with it and brushed it off thinking it was a small one." He said and walked out the room.

Donghyuck sensed his unusual disinterested behavior thinking he had an argument with Jisung, suddenly his phone buzzed. 

Mark hyung: "Donghyuck-ah. I've decided that song. See you at 5 in my house, we'll practice. Hope your last exam went well :-)" 

Donghyuck's face beamed with a smile with that text. 

Mark's house soon filled with Mark's decided song 'goodbye summer'. Mark and Donghyuck soon started finding each other's presence happier and more comfortable. Even though they argued at small things, their differences made them much closer and every argument ended with a joke that made Mark chuckle.

Unknowingly Donghyuck started liking every time he giggled. Though he giggled frequently, every time when he managed to make him smile, it warmed his heart with I'll make sure I would make you laugh like this until I stay with you. 

\-------

Taeyong searched for Mark's presence by calling out his name which only achieved a loud snore from his room which made him presume that he was asleep. He smiled with assurance making his way to his room and patted his head.

He retracts himself and sees a notification on Mark's phone and goes to check it in reflex. It was a message from his friend winwin.

Winwin:  
Hey Mark. It's okay if you do not remember but it's my birthday on Friday;-)

Winwin:  
Party on Friday, after music class. Renjun's friends would also be there. Please come.

Taeyong could only hum at the message but he was shocked at his sight going to a not so recent message sent by his uncle.

"Mark, how are you doing? "

"Remember me? I'm your beloved uncle."

"Uncle misses you a lot Markie, he loves you a lot markeu ya"

Taeyong then understood why Mark had been taking more pills recently. He was sure to be upset with Mark as he hid this from him. He fumes with anger and wakes him up to scold him.

"Mark, get up!" Taeyong screamed.

Mark groaned at the sudden commotion disturbing his sleep but rubbed his eyes to wake up anyway as he feared this side of Taeyong. The unusual angry taeyong.

When questioned about what happened, Taeyong scolds him about not informing about the message which was a month ago, only gaining an inaudible hmm from the other. He continues, "Mark, I'm your personal psychiatrist. Not only a doctor but also your friend. If you don't tell me about yourself, I can't help you. Please understand."

Mark only nods sadly excusing himself by saying that he couldn't get himself to speak about it with Taeyong comforting saying it's okay.

Taeyong later says to him about winwin's party and for some reason, Mark is happy about Donghyuck being there too. He unknowingly smiled upon the revelation.

\---------

Mark dressed for the party and left at the scheduled time for the beach. He noticed Donghyuck with his friends and everyone started cheering for winwin cutting his cake. The loud boy Lucas had to ruin the comfortable silence residing by saying "Why are we so quiet? We must be louder. Fighting haedwae" to receive loud clapping and cheering from others while Mark giggled which Donghyuck thought was cute.

All the young adults gathered themselves for having wine except for Mark and Donghyuck. Donghyuck decided to not drink as he had to go home alone in Chenle's absence and he didn't trust himself after drinking. On the other hand, Mark was reprimanded by Taeyong for drinking as he had to attend a medical camp and well, he didn't trust Mark.

The drunk youths busied themselves having the time of their lives chilling out in their drunk state while Donghyuck and Mark came to the other side of the place to have a walk. Mark was the first to start a conversation.

"Why didn't you drink?"

"I can't consume alcohol without getting drunk," Donghyuck reciprocated awkwardly rubbing his nape.

"You easily get high? I can relate." Mark says chuckling, receiving the same in return.

Thereupon with a random conversation between the two, Donghyuck suddenly remembers something. 

"Hyung, on that day in Mr.Kim's class, you have recited a poem, right? Something about a hug?" he says rather questioningly and witnessing only a gentle nod from Mark.

"How can a hug heal you? I mean, it's not true right, it's just a hug." Donghyuck told him in disbelief about his thoughts about a hug.

"When you do things with love, you feel it.. " Mark said looking at the bright sky.

"You talk like my dad, Hyung. " Donghyuck chuckled. 

The next moment was something Donghyuck didn't expect to happen.  
Mark pulled Donghyuck towards his body and wrapped his long arms covered in a hoodie around Donghyuck's stomach.

Donghyuck was taken aback at the sudden approach but shoved away from his thoughts clearly enjoying Mark's embrace in him. He could only curve up a smile at the litigation and returned his hug by circling his arms around Mark, with Mark tapping his back, Donghyuck's thin shirt restricting the contact between his skin and Mark's small fingers.

Mark was the first to pull away and raised his eyebrows at Donghyuck surely expecting a reaction from him.

Donghyuck breathes in the smell of the sun and the damp sand, and Mark's unique smell when he had come so close and rubbed his face with his brown hands to hide his red tint of shyness and embarrassment on his ears and tried his best to answer in a not so unusual way.

"I don't if it was actually colder before or is it now that I'm feeling warmer" Donghyuck replies snickering. Mark could only show up a proud smile at his successful approach at being able to explain to him about it. 

After the process, the two young adults placed their backs on the sand which was damp with the heavy waves of the sea, the sound of the high tides silencing their silence until one of them actually broke the silence to speak.

"The view is beautiful, Donghyuck" Mark pointed his index finger towards the setting sun, orange with a tinge of birds flying and cooeing their playmates to get back to their habitats. 

He continues, "Sunsets are always elegant. The orange shade formed in the sky is because of the blending of red and yellow colors representing love and joy."

Donghyuck smiled in agreement and his hands shifted between the brown sand, which appeared red under the bright sunset sky, to play with it. Diversifying the bits of it, he soon formed a sandcastle and named it 'Mark and Donghyuck Kingdom' only earning a loud clap and 'hahahaha' from the older.

When Donghyuck furrowed his eyebrows shortening the length of his eyelids, Mark apologized to him about the teasing and laughing to which Donghyuck smiled.

Donghyuck finally speaks about it, "Back then, when I used to live in Jeju, we used to visit the beach a lot. I and Chenle used to make sandcastles like this and write our names on it; quite childish but I really loved that" he says chuckling.

"No, I'm sorry for laughing. It's really cute,'' Mark mumbled in defense.

Donghyuck chuckled, "It's alright" and after a minute of nothing, he further asked, "What's your fondest memory of childhood? Your childhood must be different from here, back there in Canada right?"

Mark smiled and detached himself from the ground to stand up. He leaned his hand forward asking Donghyuck to stand up.

"You know, my father used to bring me to a beach every Sunday. And we used to play kabaddi with the sea. "

"Huh? What's that? And how do you play it? "

Instead of answering anything, he took fast and heavy steps towards the sea chanting 'kabaddi kabaddi' with his lips and bent down to slightly touch the water of the approaching wave and ran backward immediately before it reached its endpoint of the beach to touch his small feet. He repeats this thrice and looks at Donghyuck laughing brightly, with the sparkling white teeth, cute scrunched nose and raised eyebrows in the display to which Donghyuck dissolved himself into cheerful laughter on the ground.

He then lingers, "How do we play this? I want to do it too" all excited.

Mark gently nods and explains to him by demonstrating how to play.

Donghyuck gives a thumbs up in understanding and proceeds to splash the game. The first few ventures went in vain with him tripping himself on the footing and wetting his not so expensive jeans but eventually, he got better at it, the atmosphere recharged with the enthusiastic screams and laughing in the background.

Mark graces Donghyuck with tenderness and love and his openings sparkled with the skylight which was dark by now. Donghyuck swore he could examine the stars in his eyes, the glow that could tackle the twilight and render fervor to anybody, the feeling teasing him at the very end of his nerve enclosures.

Mark only focused on the bright smiles Donghyuck bestowed which were more or less associated with Mark's when they reflected Donghyuck's image in his own eyes.

He subconsciously mutters, "You look beautiful when you smile, Donghyuck."

Donghyuck's face flushed at the rapid compliment raised for him and casually responded, "Oh, Thank you" before they heard loud cheering and screams from the other side of the place. 

Both got on to the place they came from, where they left the drunken boys to have their time. Upon confrontation, they discerned that Jeno and Jaemin proposed to each other with Jeno making the first move. Donghyuck was the least surprised at the revelation along with Renjun. They were certain that both of them liked each other but never admitted it.

The said boys looked at each other with an expression of rolled eyes also resulting in Renjun fake puking at a pickup line used by Jaemin in the process. Others along with Mark and his friends were happy to see the new couple formed moments before.

Sooner or later, the boys had to leave the gathering and so they did. Mark bid a satisfying goodbye to Donghyuck before leaving and thanked her for the quality time spent together and the other did the same.

\--------

Donghyuck goes to the university to get books from the library where he meets Ms.Wendy, their vocal trainer who informs him about the seriousness of the upcoming monthly selection.

She reminds him, "Donghyuck, I have been observing that you aren't making any effort to perform in the monthly selection. Remember that there would be an elimination if the performance isn't up to the standard."

Donghyuck cautiously nods, "Okay noona, we will surely look into it" hiding his tension. It was true that they didn't make much headway from the beginning and they had done nothing but choose the song for the performance.

He averted himself from his thoughts and tried to make a call to Mark to inform him about this. However, he attained a voice from his phone saying that the network doesn't support the call.

For some reason, Donghyuck felt the need to inform this to him soon, and judging the distance to Mark's house from the University, he felt it was reasonable too as he thought he wouldn't get time to tell him due to the approaching weekend.

\--------

Mark, clearly tired of the day, throws himself on the couch, and scrolls his phone. He then remembers Taeyong scolding him about not telling him about the message his uncle sent. He inhales with a deep sigh and recollects the events that brought him to this stage. 

Now, the way he has to depend on someone for feeling happy, that he cannot be himself with his parents carrying a heavy lie on his shoulders which can destroy if fallen down with the gravity of his uncle.

He feels weak, so weak to feel any kind of emotions and he just cried. He cried for more than 20 minutes till then and showed no sign of stopping it at any moment. This occurred a lot of times and the only way he got over that is by harming himself. All those bruises on his wrists are a result of those endless sobs trying to seek help from the emptiness and the walls and furniture in his house. The absence of Taeyong at times like this surely made it worse.

He banged his hands at the dressing table with a loud thud and he groaned in distress and pain with the contact of the worn-out furniture at his skinny palms. But all he could say was he enjoyed this suffering; at least in the trauma, he is into.

Soon he heard a knock on the door and he opened it expecting his Taeyong Hyung but instead, he saw a silver-haired boy with medium height, although shorter than him and saw a worried expression on his face.

"Donghyuck?" Mark asked shocked with the sudden presence and later realizing that Taeyong had been to the medical camp and couldn't return that day. Never had he ever felt this stupid to forget about this and allowing Donghyuck allowing him to see his crying state.

It took five seconds for Mark to close the door but apparently the other was faster to comprehend the reaction and push the door and let himself in. 

After two or three unsuccessful attempts to shove Donghyuck off, he stopped himself when the silver-haired boy hugged him.

"It's okay Mark, you don't have to talk about what happened. I won't ask you either. Please be fine" he says to which Mark nodded and slid himself to the other's embrace as well. 

After a good five minutes, Donghyuck retracted himself to bring a glass full of water from the kitchen to give it to Mark. 

Mark swore he felt so thankful because the lights were off for Donghyuck not able to see his bruise and thanked him before he left.

\-------

Donghyuck obviously reached later than the scheduled time causing his father to question him about it. 

Donghyuck explains to him what happened and wondered why Mark was crying but chose to keep his privacy.

His dad's mind travels to his patient whose name is also Mark dealing with the anxiety disorder.

The man says to him to not worry about it too much and asks him to sleep after finishing his supper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes  
> Hello guys! Did you like the first chapter? Please look forward for the next one.  
> Take care♪～(´ε｀ )


	2. Station 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amidst the mundane sphere, Mark's ungiving anxiety grows but so does his feelings for Donghyuck. The younger, too much skeptical about Mark's situation calls in for a proper confrontation with the truth.

"So? What now?" Jaemin questioned.

"I don't know mate, I'll probably go visit Mark Hyung. It was hard to deal with him last night and to be very honest, I'm worried.” Donghyuck let out with a sigh. 

"I can totally see that. Do you think it has to do with that scar or doctor's appointment?"

Donghyuck hummed in response. "People won't be going for therapy for no reason, right?”

"Hyuck, maybe we're over analyzing simple stuff, moreover he lives alone, we can be wrong too," Jaemin said patting Donghyuck's shoulder. "Don't overthink."

Jaemin gave a warm hug to Donghyuck like he does every day, and they parted their ways. Donghyuck thought it might be a simple reason but Mark's condition didn't seem normal, besides, he was the one who saw him last night in that circumstance. And for some reason, he felt he can't just leave Mark alone just like that. 

Donghyuck rang the doorbell at Mark's house revealing a boy older than him with black goggles and formal clothes. 

“Yes?” he inquired. 

"Uhh, I'm Donghyuck, Mark's friend. Is he here?” 

Taeyong nodded and let him inside with a smile. “I'm Taeyong by the way, Mark's friend. He speaks a lot about you. It's nice to meet you finally, Donghyuck.”

"Glad to meet you too," Donghyuck said as he sat on the couch.

“Sorry to break it to you but Mark is actually sick…” Taryong said, awkwardly. 

Donghyuck looked back at him with a little shock. Can you get sick by crying a lot? He thought.

“Oh… has he eaten something?” he asked.

Taeyong chuckled. “No, he didn't. He gets a lot stubborn and irksome when sick. So I couldn't wake him up either.” 

Donghyuck smiled at that thought of it. “Mind if I take care of that?” he asked. Taeyong raised his eyebrows and nodded. 

“That's... very sweet of you, Donghyuck. I didn't know you both were this close.” Taeyong said to which Donghyuck just shrugged. “If you don't mind, uhh, I need to leave for an important meeting. I hope Mark doesn't make you feel like murdering someone.” 

“No problem. I deal a lot with my younger brother, he shouldn't be that hard.” Taryong thanked him and left the house saying he won't be out for too long and informed Donghyuck about the necessary things he would need for Mark.

He ran upstairs to Mark's room, he saw him was curled up in the blanket. Donghyuck unconsciously smiled looking at him, there was a part of him that made him look at him again and again, and yet he didn't get enough of his face.

Mark's room was comparatively too warm and dark. He opened the windows letting the light inside at least to brighten up the atmosphere. 

"Hyung... I don't want anything now, Please." Mark complained, sheepishly. 

"Your Hyung isn't here," Donghyuck answered back. 

Mark immediately opened his eyes and sat with a start. "Why are you here?" he inquired with a frown.

“Why is it so surprising to you? Am I not here frequently? I thought I would stop by since you didn't turn up to the University.” 

Mark pressed his lips to say something, but before he could, he jumped out of his bed holding his mouth and rushed into the washroom. Donghyuck could hear him retch. 

“Jesus, you look terrible.” Donghyuck let out.

“Thanks but you're not helping with that.”

“Maybe, a chicken broth should help.”

"No. I'm going back to sleep. " Mark said as he wrapped himself in the blanket again. 

“You can't just starve?! And you haven't eaten since morning.” 

“I've got no energy to puke again, Donghyuck.” 

“Exactly! You should have the energy to puke, right?”

“Are you dumb?!”

“No, you can't just stop eating because you're puking, you need a remedy. Chicken broth helps in vomiting, my mother tells me. ” 

\--------

Mark dragged his weak limbs downstairs when Donghyuck called him, which seemed more like screaming, he wrapped himself in his rug and tried to have whatever Donghyuck made. Donghyuck didn't force him further to eat when Mark no longer felt like he could.

“Thank you. Honestly, you don't need to…” Mark confessed when Donghyuck handed him the medicine with a glass of water. 

“Of course, I need to. I can't change my partner in music nor see you sick. I want us to win.” Mark stared at him shaking his head. 

“I thought this was out of friendship, nevermind.” Mark scoffed to which Donghyuck victoriously laughed and added that he was just messing with him. 

Donghyuck decided to stay a little longer, at least until Taeyong would be home. Mark remained in his rug snuggling into it and proposed an idea. Donghyuck looked into the song suggestions Mark gave and they decided to sing together. It was unique the way their voices combined, both of them were very satisfied with each other as if their voices were meant to be.

♪♪"ᴡɪᴛʜᴏᴜᴛ ʀᴇᴀʟɪᴢɪɴɢ, ᴍʏ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ ɪꜱ ꜰʟᴜᴛᴛᴇʀɪɴɢ. ɪ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ɢᴏ ᴛᴏɢᴇᴛʜᴇʀ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ. ʜᴏʟᴅɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜʀ ꜱᴍᴀʟʟ ʜᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴛɪᴇʀ ᴛʜᴀɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏᴄᴇᴀɴ. ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴘʟᴀᴄᴇ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴡᴇ'ʀᴇ ᴅʀᴇᴀᴍɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴀᴍᴇ ᴅʀᴇᴀᴍ ɪꜱ ᴘᴀʀᴀᴅɪꜱᴇ ᴘᴀʀᴀᴅɪꜱᴇ. ᴘᴀʀᴀᴅɪꜱᴇ-ᴅɪꜱᴇ-ᴅɪꜱᴇ. ɪ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ꜱᴍɪʟᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ʙʀɪɢʜᴛᴇʀ ᴛʜᴀɴ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴛᴀʀꜱ. ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴘʟᴀᴄᴇ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴡᴇ'ʀᴇ ᴅʀᴇᴀᴍɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴀᴍᴇ ᴅʀᴇᴀᴍ ɪꜱ ᴘᴀʀᴀᴅɪꜱᴇ ᴘᴀʀᴀᴅɪꜱᴇ.” ♪♪

“You keep getting good, Donghyuck.” Mark complimented with a voice that came out tiredly.

“Thanks, man.” Donghyuck chuckled. “You can actually rest, it's okay,” he added.

Mark refused to do so. It's no joke the impact Donghyuck's energy had. Perhaps, it was the first time after so long, Mark witnessed someone being so caring and loved to spend time with him genuinely. Taeyong or Johnny could be one of them but having friends like Donghyuck felt good and heart touching to him.

“There's no way… I thought you would be more like a sci-fi book writer.” Donghyuck fell back on the couch disappointed. Their conversations were never stopping at one topic, just like this one when Mark let out about his idea of writing a novel on a love story.

“What's wrong with a romantic one?” Mark questioned with a giggle.

“What's wrong? Everything is, duh! Love stories are bizarre. Like, it's so stupid that people write it whichever way they want to. I won't be surprised if one could create a love story with the main characters meeting in the landfill. And all this love stuff is utter nonsense and just a waste of time.”

"I didn't expect you to hate all this so much," Mark said with his eyes wide open with surprise. “And hey, all aren't bad.” 

“Seriously? All seem the same to me. The main characters fall in love and if the writer is in a good mood, it's a happy ending, if not, you cry over their break up. And do you think you can waste your time crying over someone you loved? It's just a weakness, hyung. I don't understand the point of falling in love again and again just to hurt yourself. And true love is a myth and all these romantic movies are just too good to be true.” 

Mark chuckled. “I don't believe in true love either. The strength of the relationship is constantly working on it. You see, the more powerful the foundation is, the stronger the building stands, a relationship is such a thing too.”

“You-” Donghyuck began bewildered. “I think you are good to go for your book. How do you even know such things?” 

Mark frowned with a smile. “What-”

“Wait? Do you possibly? Are you in a relationship?! I swear Jeno began talking like this lately! You're in a relationship right?” 

Mark shook his head now laughing with the younger's curiosity. “Being in love isn't a weakness. Look, love isn't necessarily with young people falling for each other. Love is widespread. For instance, Mother to a child, brothers and sisters, father to his child. For that matter you love your parents, your parents love you, you love your brother, I can see that in the way you talk about your memories all the time, the love from your family makes you stronger. And for me, I've always seen my parents being supportive of one another. I see today their business is so strong as the constant effort they put on their relationship. Even if one of them is busy with their schedule, they talk about it and clear their misunderstandings immediately and I think that's the respect you give to your partner.”

“Now I'm sure that you would have experienced all this stuff at least one, right?”

Mark smiled at his question as if it reminded him of something. Donghyuck raised his eyebrows.

"Tell me, I'll laugh too." 

Mark nodded with a delicate smile. "I did love someone. She was my first love, I won't deny saying she's taught me so much, I'm glad that I found her." Mark said and sighed hopelessly. 

"So you're still with her?" asked Donghyuck instantly.

" We were together for 2 years, she was really pretty, pure and..." Mark paused thinking about her. "beautiful in and out." Mark said, shyly.

"Cool. What happened then?" 

"We broke up." Mark exhaled. "Canada and Korea didn't work for us. We couldn't do long distance for a very long time." 

"Is it because you didn't put the effort into the relationship?" Donghyuck questioned. 

"Maybe." 

“So? Is the book going to be your love story then?” Donghyuck questioned. Mark looked back at him and rolled his eyes.

“Nope. I won't write a book about my childhood. That would be-” Mark stopped midway remembering his childhood to be one of the worst he could ever imagine. And she being a part won't make it any better “-stupid of me.” he added to which Donghyuck nodded curving his lips.

As minutes passed by they switched topics from one to another. Mark couldn't deny the fact that Donghyuck was really so beautiful just the way he was. Smart and ambitious, shy, and remarkably attractive especially when he is high on his sense of humor or how he just plays with the words modifying it into one of the funniest things Mark ever heard. The way he was so soft with his hoodie and those sweater paws he wiped his face with when he was embarrassed was too cute for Mark to resist to say that he was very adorable.

There was something about him that made Mark smile unconsciously just when he did the bare minimum like talking. It just felt like existing for Mark when Donghyuck was blabbering about anything that was random, was he too oblivious to notice that Mark was already finding him attractive?

It's just been a couple of months since they met, Donghyuck was liking the progress they made on their friendship. For him, Mark was that foreigner who was smart and very cute with the way he behaves around and he was glad that he found him. The amount of personal and fun chatter they had in just one evening was enough to think that they were already unstoppable. It was enough to certify them close friends and he could foresee the day when he was going to call him one of his best friends. Though they varied so much, they had something that binds them together. 

“Express your love to whom you love, even by words.”

“That's something Renjun should do.” 

“I wasn't joking, Donghyuck.” 

“I know-” Donghyuck stopped when his phone buzzed. He answered the call immediately when he saw his mother calling him and moments later he hung up. 

“You look tired.”

“But I feel better,” Mark replied with a warm smile. 

Donghyuck smiled back and nodded. “I'm glad. But still, you need to rest, hyung. Not just today but every day.” 

Mark tiredly hummed in response. When Donghyuck helped him back to his room, he informed him to take his medicine. 

“What about you?” 

“I need to go to my dad's. He needs some files so… you'll sleep well right?” 

Mark nodded. When Donghyuck was about to leave, he held by his wrist and pulled him back. 

“Honestly, I need to thank you for not only staying with me but also-” Mark sighed. “I haven't talked to someone like that for a long time or maybe I never did. I can be myself when I'm around you, thanks for that.” 

Donghyuck ruffled his hair softly with a smile. “I'm just a call away for anything, Hyung” 

\------

Donghyuck picked the file which his dad needed. Reaching his dad's office, he saw someone familiar coming out of his dad's cabin.

"Taeyong hyung?"

"Hey, you here?” Taeyong chuckled with surprise too.

"That's my dad you've been talking to," Donghyuck said proudly.

“I see. I'm a psychiatrist here too, under your dad's team." Taeyong said with a smile. 

Donghyuck giggled at this coincidence and walked inside to give his dad the file. 

"Ah. Hyuck! Thanks for this." his dad said grabbing it immediately from him and looking into it. "And when you leave call Dr. Taeyong here, he just left the room-"

"Yeah, I know him, he's Mark's neighbor. I met him today… the world is so small right, dad?"

"He's what?"

"Mark's neighbor dad. I told you about Mark, didn't I?" his dad still looked at him with a confused yet a startled face.

"Oh... um yeah," he said, clearing his throat. “I'll talk about this later, Hyuck, while leaving, just call him." 

Donghyuck just shrugged at Dad's behavior and left the room looking for Taeyong. 

"Thanks for staying with Mark, my meeting won't take much time here, I can go back to him in an hour. I'll see you next time.” 

Taeyong and Donghyuck waved at each other and immediately Donghyuck left the hospital.

\-------

Donghyuck, as usual, started to practice for the upcoming month end selection, although very much reluctant to do so. Carrying the stress of the day had been extremely awful and troublesome to him. Not being able to sleep properly for the past week due to assignments, compressed schedules and unorganized events made him tired.

Mark was no better. Unwillingly shaking his fingers on the guitar strings, eyebrows narrowed, lips jutting out in a pout, legs shaking in restlessness, head aching in pain, his mind struggling to focus, his heart wanting to move out of the session already. Ears everywhere but near the Taeil's explanation about voice modulation suddenly paid heed to a certain voice.

"Mark, I'm unable to focus today. What about you?"

"Same with me, it just doesn't feel right."

"Mark?" Donghyuck says with a low husky whisper with hesitation bringing the index fingers of his hands touching their tips, not straightly looking at the other. 

"Yes?"

"Shall we elope?"

"You mean, bunk the class? Like sneaking out?"

"Yes... Please?" the younger one pleads in aegyo voice with a puppy look for which Mark would chuckle.

It was not a second late when he agreed for it, and not a moment delayed when they stood up from their positions to escape the boring class. They took small silent strides to hide from Wendy, the strict disciplinarian, and prevent a backlog with Donghyuck following Mark and holding their hands in the process.

This sight could never go unnoticed by the young couple although busy with their dance practice.

"What are they up to?" Jisung raised his eyebrow.

"I guess they will be on a date" Chenle retorted, eyes and lips curving up into excited laughter earning a chuckle and smack on his shoulder from Jisung.

\-------

The young fellows settled on visiting a cafe after a 5-minute long argument over the decision. 

"Okay, what shall we have?" Mark asked.

"I'll just have a simple coffee, Mark. I have a terrible headache."

"Okay but, from when did you decide it's no longer important to address me Hyung? I'm older than you, Donghyuck." Mark asserted, his mouth forming an '0'.

"But seriously though, I can't call you Hyung. I don't want any formalities between us. I see you as one of my friends, the one with glasses and who's cute" Donghyuck paused to resume again, "I really wonder if you're a Hyung when you are clumsier than me" he giggled.

Mark raised up his hands to say, "I give up" and the boys waited for the order to arrive.

Muttering a 'thank you' to the waiter, the boys placed their coffee cups on the table tissues beneath them.

"By the way, did you read the book I gave you that day?" Mark lets out remembering that day.

"Uhh. I couldn't. I was busy. First, it was exams, and then I had been very busy in the past two weeks."

Mark stooped forward and placed his hands on Donghyuck and said, "please Donghyuck, read it. It's amazing... At least for my sake."

"As long as it's not money, I will give you anything you ask, I'm broke," he said gleaming and releasing his hands to sip the coffee.

"Give me a kiss then, I promise I'll give it back" Mark attempted to wink but ended up blinking both of his eyes, with his goofy smile.

Donghyuck coughed and almost choked on his drink, eyes dilated in disbelief.

"You made a wrong move, Mark. Never expect a lawyer to not be bold" Donghyuck asserted.

"What do you mean?"

It wasn't a minute late when Donghyuck stood up from his seat and moved towards Mark to place his lips on his left cheek and earned a surprised yet delighted 'huh?' from the other.

Mark swore he never tried to hold back his excitement to that extent in his whole life. His stomach felt like doing a bouncing competition and something jumped continuously inside it. 'It must be the butterflies' Mark figured.

However, Mark wasn't giving himself, especially in this situation. When Donghyuck turned his back to get back to his seat, he gently held his wrist to stop him.

"Yes, Mark?"

"Never expect a writer to not keep his promise as well," Mark said smiling.

"Huh?" Donghyuck questioned.

Instead of answering the question, Mark leaned closer to kiss his left cheek, closer to his ear.

Donghyuck exhaled deeply, caught off guard with Mark's sudden move. He tried his best to not smile but Mark's stares weren't helping. His whole body became still for a split second and laughed off the situation to dissuade the romantic tension rising.

"I didn't expect you to be free about this, you know.'' Mark shyly said.

"You don't know about me Hyung, and being Jaemin's friend, this is nothing,'' 

"Jaemin? Does he kiss you often?" Mark said, stunned over the weird statement.

"Often? If often means every time we meet, yes, it's true. If Jeno hadn't been there, half of the college would think Jaemin and I are dating."

Mark let out a flustered laugh and found it cute (read: wild and dangerous) how Donghyuck's friends behave, "Poor Jeno."

Donghyuck smirked before saying, "But what about you huh? I didn't expect you to be like this either… Are you really trying to flirt with me?" Mark just laughed it off.

The session lasted for twenty minutes more and they shared tales of their busy days, letting down the stress drown in the peaceful ocean. Mark laughed merrily at donghyuck's jokes and felt so happy.

He gazed at Donghyuck with graceful love-filled eyes. His salient features didn't go unnoticed, his round eyes resembling a puppy, chubby cheeks, and his hand movement while he spoke; not to mention his frizzy hairs sprouting from his gorgeous head that would annoy him and how he would brush his hands to restrict the blockage formed on his eyes. 

As their date ended, the boys walked till the bus stop, with the scent of comfortable silence flavoring them. Both of them taking small strides with each step growing with pity and difficulty, wishing they could walk longer, that the destination was distant, and to sit on the bench for a while just to spend more time. Both of them exchanged glances although having nothing to speak and smiled awkwardly.

Donghyuck texted his brother to go home alone as he would be with Mark and they waited for the bus to leave.

They just stood there, stealing glances and not speaking a word. 

A bus stopped.

"This one looks crowded, let's take the next one" Mark let out an audible whisper.

Three buses passed already and Donghyuck realized neither of them wanted to end the date.

As they waited for the fourth bus to arrive, for which they hoped they would give in to end their date, Donghyuck's attention toured towards a limping puppy approaching towards them. The creature was bruised with red blood stains all over its legs and on its white fur on it's back.

Donghyuck took hold of the puppy reflexively and caressed his hands over the injured area and poured some water on it.

While Mark looked at it carefully as though it reminded him of something.

"Snoopy! No!" Mark shouted horrified and turned towards his uncle and gripped his hand on the bottom of his shirt aggressively.

"Why did you kill him? Just tell me... What more will you do?" Mark sobbed helplessly.

A man with furrowed eyebrows, knife coated with the blood, smirk displaying his lips, and the pride of fake acclaim satisfying his inner self opened his mouth to say, "Do you fear it, Markie? You better. Or I have to do more to scare you". He laughed bitterly and let go of Mark's hands on his and left the sobbing Mark lying on the ground grieving over the dog's demise.

Mark widened his eyes in exasperation and his hands involuntarily reached the sides of his eyes and pressed his aching head. His fingers and legs were shaking in excruciating pain and closed his eyes tightly. He was shivering with the recollection of the events, the cold worsening, and complimenting the situation.

Donghyuck placed the puppy near the end of the road near a store. He came back and saw Mark shivering. He held his shoulders tightly and asked him, "Mark, are you okay? Are you cold? "

He received a nervous nod from the other as Mark tried to compose himself and tried to forget about it. 

Donghyuck removed Mark's hands from his head and rubbed them. When he showed no signs of recovering he removed his jacket to place it on Mark's back. 

He hugged Mark and gently drew circles on his back and pulled away when he felt Mark sighing as a sense of recovery. He placed his left hand on Mark's waist and supported him to climb the next bus. 

Donghyuck seemed worried about what just happened but shrugged it off denouncing it was the cold. He remembered his conversation with Jaemin and how he was over analyzing things and decided to leave the stuff as it was. 

Getting down from the bus at their stop, Donghyuck said in a low voice, "Mark, thank you for today, I really enjoyed a lot. This was a stress burner."

"No problem, hyuck. I enjoyed it a lot too, " 

"By the way, you felt really cold that time?" 

"Yeah, even though I lived in Canada, I'm not used to cold," he said giving a composed smile and charged the mood by saying, "At least, I got you to hug me."

Donghyuck wanted to scold him but blushed instead. He couldn't comprehend the confidence in the older's tone and Mark's looks weren't helping.

While Mark showed no signs of stopping his cheeky grin, Donghyuck got nothing to do but say goodbye, covering his blushing face and walking immediately. Mark did the same, however enjoying the mood with a confident smile making his way to the lips.

\-------

Donghyuck couldn't help smiling all the time when he recollected their date. He facepalmed himself to cover the blush rising up his fluffy cheeks but wondered why the heck did he even kiss him in the first place.

Mark just joked about it and it could've been avoided, but it was also Mark who kissed him later.

He started mumbling "why did I kiss him" leaning his head down on the table. Soon, he heard a high pitched loud voice in the room.

"Did you kiss him? You really kissed Mark Hyung?" The black-haired Chenle asked, horrified.

Donghyuck was quick to place his skinny hand on the chenle's insolence to stop him from shouting and hushed him by keeping his index finger on his mouth to hush him.

"I beg you Chenle, please don't scream... Mom and dad will hear you.."

"Oh my God, my brother is in love... I'm so happy you got a boyfriend"

"What the heck? Who told you? Mark isn't my boyfriend"

"Yeah, sure. No one would believe this after seeing you both holding hands and sneaking out to have a romantic date."

The quarrel continued with Chenle's continuous rambling and teasing of their so-called fake relationship by making fun of their ship being named Markhyuck combining their names, Donghyuck's failed attempts to shut him up; But chenle only ran to every hook and corner of the room from the bed to the shelf to the restroom and hyuck chasing him to beat him up already. The room echoed with high pitched screams and laughter until both of them stopped eventually catching their breaths and holding onto their baby tummies and their sweaty backs pressed to the pink bedspread on their mattress.

Donghyuck had already had enough of this and so expected chenle to do so until he felt chenle scooted closer to his ear whispering, "That wouldn't make me stop teasing you for kissing him" and the tone of his cheeky grin causing his temper to swell.

"Chenle, I promise I'll buy you ramyeon every day"

"What am I? Three?"

"Then what the heck do you expect me to get you?"

"Well, unlike you I have a loving boyfriend whom I will be on the date with, So I need money"

"Chenle, you know that I'm bro-"

"Mom, Hyung has a boyf-"

"Shut up for heaven's sake" stepping closer and hushing him, "I'll give you want you want"

"That's like my brother, but I must agree, Mark Hyung is cute... I like your choice" Chenle stated pinching Donghyuck's cheeks before moving to the bathroom for washing up leaving the frustrated Donghyuck on the bed.

\------

Mark pressed his skinny palm on his left cheek while munching down his favorite chicken, mouth curved up in a shy smile since God knows when which earned questionable looks from the elder man on the dining table.

Taeyong asked him for the eleventh time since he arrived home, "What happened? Why are you so happy today?"

Mark tilted his head to his side facing taeyong to answer him, "Aren't I always happy?"

"Yeah, sure" and you take pills for stress and anxiety, Taeyong wanted to add but snorted.

After a silence of minutes, Taeyong asks him again, seriously, holding his hand, "You can share your feelings with me that right?"

Mark nods still smiling and faces Taeyong, stretches his arms to hug him, "Hyung, it's about Donghyuck."

"Donghyuck?"

He retracts his position, playing with the spoon, "I like him, It's not the same on the other side but I do like him a lot,'' love him, actually.

Taeyong assuringly smiles, "It's okay Mark, but I'm so happy for you, it's a sign of getting better, I'm glad about it. And don't worry about Donghyuck, he really cares for you, I have seen how he stayed with you when I went out" he continues, "don't underestimate your worth Mark lee, you are one in a million" and ruffled his hair.

"Thank you, Hyung."

"Okay, now, go to sleep. I should settle your previous therapy files to be submitted to Mr.Lee,'' Taeyong muttered in a hurry thinking about his senior doctor being extremely stern, unlike the bubbly personality of his son, Donghyuck.

\-----

Donghyuck hurried to the shower and kept rebuking Chenle for silencing the alarm, making him late for which jeno left him alone. 

Reaching the campus just a minute early, his eyes met his friends at the dream spot and he waved them in reflex, "Hi guys."

"He was late today, so I left him," Jeno told them.

"Why tho?" Renjun questioned.

"Must have been busy talking with his boyfriend all night" Jaemin teased.

Donghyuck retaliated in disbelief, "No, it was the freaking alarm and Chenle silenced it."

"So now are you blaming Chenle as he found out you kissed Mark Hyung?" Jaemin said, with a fake angry expression.

Donghyuck was shocked and confused, but fuming with rage at the same time. He was surely preparing his fists for fighting Chenle after getting home for letting out the secret despite bribing him. He excused himself from his friends saying that he just did it on the cheek and that he didn't put any meaning to it but they showed no sign of taking back their teasings.

Meanwhile, Mark came to their place along with Lucas and Jaehyun and he asked them the way of winwin.

"Renjun, is Winwin on leave today?" Mark asked.

"Yeah, he has a cold, so he stayed home." Renjun retorted.

"Why do you need winwin? Your boyfriend is here" Jeno said, showing his usual eye smile circling his arms to Donghyuck's back.

Both Mark and Donghyuck dropped their jaws in utter shock before looking at each other totally surprised by the sudden teasing. 'Maybe it's because we kissed each other, Donghyuck thought but shakes his head trying to snap off his thoughts. However, both of them refused to admit the fact that they were blushing at their comments.

Soon enough, Jaehyun and Lucas joined in with Lucas laughing loudly, covering his face with his BIG hands, and Jaehyun giving a sly smirk as though aware of the situation.

As the university bell rang, Mark saw Donghyuck and his friends leaving for their class and Donghyuck engulfed in the crowd of his excited friends, like a prey predated in the middle of the vicious jungle, much of the excitement concerning the infamous Canadian boyfriend who was otherwise known as Mark Lee. He laughed slightly watching Donghyuck's attempt to divert their attention into the subjects into which they weren't interested at all.

'He is so cute' Mark thought.

\---------

Entering their class, the boys heard loud screaming inside, precisely Donghyuck's name. Yangyang and hendery yelled Donghyuck's name and rolled their mouths into an o. They wrote Donghyuck's name on the classroom board and started teasing him about kissing Mark. 

Hendery shouted, "So someone kissed someone huh? It seems like the anti lover boy is in love" which earned "Very sorry for not exposing your make-out session with Xiaojun in the locker room the other day" from Jaemin.

Soon, they brought up the last topics of their quarrels about how they won each other in bets of competing in their subjects.

Each one got the highest in different subjects and fought more and more out of absolutely nothing.

'They must have heard our conversations outside' Donghyuck comprehends. 

This caused huge havoc in the class with everyone getting to know about donghyuck's relationship with Mark.

There were countless attempts to convince that it's not true which miserably failed eventually, their oral feud twirling into a physical one. 

They pushed each other to the walls and Jeno punched Hendery, and Yangyang slapped Donghyuck tight on his cheek. 

This soon caught the attention of Mr.Doyoung Kim and he yelled at them for fighting like dogs in the classroom and causing a disturbance to the other pupils and gave them detention and suspended them from their English class for two days; not like they minded anyways.

They made their way to the playground and Donghyuck read the book, Mark asked him, to pass his time. The whole day was gloomy and disinterest filled his mind and he hardly paid any attention to other classes.

So this was Donghyuck's day, wasteful and awful, crammed with worthless turmoil and uninvited issues. He transcended into the amazing story and relaxed his psyche to forget the wistful arguments. He finished the 'The pink ribbons' by the evening after returning from the music class. The house clocked 9:43 when he called Mark to talk about the book. As the network forced those sluggish feet of Donghyuck's feet to walk to the garden, Donghyuck endured more teasing from Chenle of how he blamed the network for wanting privacy with his boyfriend.

"Seems like you want to have a private talk with your boyfriend." Chenle laughed.

"I would just wish one thing from God, that you shut the big whole of your face for once." Donghyuck rolled his eyes.

However, he got out despite the endless rantings and talked with Mark about the book and its characters. Thereafter, their conversation shifted to their teasing session carried out by their friends in the university.

"They are seriously impossible." Mark shakes his head.

"Yeah, they are. Not leaving a single chance to insult me. Idiots. Is that what I get for being their friend?" Donghyuck says obviously not serious.

"But yeah, I must say that I really enjoyed yesterday," Mark admits.

"Me too, I realized you aren't that boring you know, I really like your company and I wish we knew each other before so that we could spend more time."

Mark hums in approval but he was hiding his smile like an idiot, which he blames Donghyuck's words for. He experienced a warm feeling surrounding his gut and seemed as though his ribs hurt with heart threatening to come out. God, Mark Lee is in absolute love with Lee Donghyuck.

Meanwhile, Donghyuck continued, "We should do this more often, skipping classes and going out" he giggles "I have come to like being with you more than I imagined before. I can admit, I like being with you, a lot."

"Then can you stay with me forever? Because I really want to" because I love you Donghyuck. Mark says with a low voice, he wasn't unsure, just nervous.

Donghyuck stands still for a moment before realizing the vigor in the words Mark had said to him. He doesn't know what the feeling is, he is confused at first only to get surprised later, because Mark was dead serious.

"H-huh?" He organizes his words that dried up in his throat and goes silent all over again.

When he hears the silence, he still speaks anyway, "Stay with me forever Donghyuck, I want to get older with you. It's a pity that I didn't have you while I grew up, but I want to get older with you until our hairs grow white, the beard gets grey, with the wrinkly face, complimenting the shivering hands, veins displayed dominantly, voice shivering which is although badly audible yet reaching our hearts, even when we walk with a stick in one hand and the other one holding each other's, memory fading to forget about everyone and everything, but each other; stay by my side, Donghyuck, holding my hand, until... Forever."

Donghyuck is stunned by the rush of verses produced for him. He had mixed feelings of charm and shock but mostly he was confused at that time. Obviously, because he didn't have friends asking him to stay with them always, not that he wouldn't; but Mark was different. Mark had never been like his regular friends, like Renjun who bickered with him, or like the affectionate correspondent Jaemin or the 'responsible towards him' Jeno. Mark is the one whom he cared with no conditions or he didn't even find reasons to befriend him, the thing that kept them together was their adoration and connectivity. Mark and Donghyuck were very similar yet so different from each other. They thought the same way but played differently. Yet, now the questions pile up in his mind, and contemplated to find them. 

He says, "Mark, you have to be more specific."

"I mean.. I love you Donghyuck." Mark says finally. Mark feels his heart light and puffed out lightly as the confession railed out through his lips. And Mark knows in all honesty that he loves Donghyuck. He loves Donghyuck the way he was, he loves that he is very kind-hearted, funny, witty, and brutally honest and Mark loves that Donghyuck cared for Mark, although not in the way Mark did. He wanted Donghyuck to be learned that he deserved the whole world and Mark was just a part of it and in all content to be happy, with or without Mark beside him. 

Donghyuck's hand froze and his smile dropped becoming speechless but brought up his inner voice and courage to ask him what he intended to, that moment, "Mark... Are you serious?"

Mark sighs, he expected this to happen but he would be lying if he said he didn't feel bad because he did, he felt very unhappy and guessed the approaching rejection slapping his face and answers him, "I'm serious Donghyuck, and I'm sure of myself, and now I'm so sure that you'll reject me too, but please don't hate me after this, I can't bear that. " he says apologetically.

Donghyuck stumbled on his words and voice wasn't making to get out of his aching throat, although the throat wasn't the only thing it's aching, also the ailing heart. He abruptly cuts the connection with Mark by whispering, "Mark, I'll talk about it later" without letting a chance for Mark intervene when he heard the notice of his mother inviting him for dinner. 

He hesitantly ate the dinner thinking about their conversation. He couldn't process all the things Mark told him and he was sure there would be awkwardness constricting their conversation so he texted him instead.

Donghyuck:  
I am sorry, Mark. I can't be the person you want me to be. But please, don't dismiss this as a rejection. We will still remain friends. Take care♡♡

\-------

In the next class, Mark looked all defeated with Donghyuck talking less than usual and disturbance and awkwardness spacing them. But it's not like he expected better anyway. He didn't expect him to reciprocate with "I love you too, Mark" and hug him in his embrace, and stay with him... Forever. But that's what he wished for.

Judging the uneasiness between them, he decided to apologize to him but stopped when he heard Chenle and Donghyuck's conversation.

"Do you really like Mark Hyung?" Chenle questions jokingly.

"Are you dumb? What makes you say that? I'm not even proper friends with him, he is just my partner in music class, to say the most. Don't have high motives for me, there is no possible way we can get together, after this year, after the Music competition, we are done.I just bloody dont care, okay?" Donghyuck remembers how the fake rumors surrounded the class and soon the whole university would be familiar with it.

Donghyuck really wanted to move out of the place with the sense of discomfort and guilt pouring on him. Precisely, he wasn't guilty just for rejecting Mark, but something panged up his chest realizing that they cannot be the same anymore. He really wished that all this didn't happen, and he hoped Mark would feel the same too. Maybe, they will get normal with the time passing. 

Yes, that's what Donghyuck needed; time.

On the other hand, Mark was upset as ever. He did feel guilty over spoiling the relationship they currently had, he did feel rejected upon confessing to Donghyuck, but right now, he felt the humiliation. Was accepting a confession that difficult that you need to hate the person just because you are uncomfortable about it? Mark knew on the edge of his heart that he was being very selfish about his intentions but his mind was too sensitive to accept the undenying fact that the world is not a warm livelihood where the immigrants are always happy. 

The complicated feelings of his deep affection for Donghyuck slowly turned into insecurity and sadness and a small amount of disgust too. He felt more hurt that Donghyuck didn't care about him at all, rejection was nothing.

Lazily walking to the house, he was greeted by a bright smile of Taeyong who reminded him of Mark's friend's wedding in Canada and that their flight was scheduled the next noon. Mark's head throbbed with the stress caused by the events but felt relieved that he would be away from Donghyuck till he returns from Canada, although worried that he would face his uncle there but a sense of recollection satisfied him that even Taeyong would be with him. 

Mark and Taeyong flew to Canada the next day and after a long flight, he was met with his parents waiting for him and waving at them. Taeyong introduced himself as Johnny's partner much to his parents' surprise but Mark was aware of it anyway. Taeyong resonated that his friend filed an invitation for him as well and he asked permission to stay with Mark, in his house to which they agreed heartfully.

Entering his memory-filled room after a year, when he came for the previous vacation, he glanced at the room which didn't appear to change more. The same old bed, the old spiderman painting decorating the four walls of the room, the old mini guitar strings a bit entangled and making screeching sounds when pulled disturbing the dust fallen due to spiders making their own safe home, the worn-out furnishings, and a few posters of his favorite personalities. 

Then It was the photo frames that caught his attention. His pictures of when he was younger, his one specific selfie taken inside a restroom and his picture of studying and making the pose, a few family photos, and his paintings and the last one he saw before becoming still was the photo of a puppy. It sure reminded him of many things. Of how he used to play with his only pet, he had a special bonding with the dog, walking Snoopy every day when his parents went out for work, feeding her the animal food in the blue bowl which was meant for Snoopy. Money sure never gave him happiness but the money that brought Snoopy lent him joy in his childhood. 

Every day, Snoopy welcomed Mark with the waggling tail for him, sticking her tongue out, breathing heavily, waiting for Mark to arrive from his school, Snoopy jumped enthusiastically into Mark's small hands and licked his face. 

Mark still remembers the lifeless creature lying near the bench of their garden. The body covered with red blood, the enclosures damaged with the piercing of the sharp-edged knife and bleeding with pain, and the shoe bottom pressing on its body restricting it's already slow breaths eventually dying them down completely.

Mark kept shouting "DONT, PLEASE DON'T DO THAT" but his uncle was no near to stop gripping his leg on the dog. The dog couldn't even be Identified because of the blood clothing the whole surface. He fixed his leg on the ground back, when he heard the silence instead of the whimpering sounds and barking of the dog trying to seek help from nothingness, lifeless and Mark, although Mark couldn't be separated from nothingness or the lifeless. 

Mark remembered the scene with tear-filled eyes, of how he lost his first friend and the grief of losing her, consuming him and melancholy coming to be the most common uninvited guest, which hardly left him, spending away all his joy and getting him broke of everything. He lightly brushed his thumb over the eyes to stop the tear coming out. 

He flinched with fear when he heard a voice in the room.

"Long time no see, Markie... Missed me real huh?" A middle-aged man said heavy with his steps and keeping his lonely hand on Mark's shoulder. 

Mark wasn't late to move away from the touch, the touch that abused him, bet him every day when and that promoted self-harm in Mark. He panics and tries to make his way towards the washroom but blocked by his face again. The same face, the same evil smirk always resting on his lips, and the pride residing in his very soul.

He widened his eyes in shock but managed to say, "Please leave me alone."

"You think? I really missed you a lot, Markie. I'm not going to leave you so easily."

Mark moved back and immediately made his way to the dining hall when he heard his mother from downstairs. He felt so relieved that he was just saying in his house for one session and would be leaving for his friend's wedding with Taeyong soon. 

The evening, Mark and Taeyong left for the venue to spend their quality time in the celebration hoping that he would get distracted with other things but his uncle's and dog's image came to his mind frequently. He also remembers how he got rejected by Donghyuck; his mind couldn't handle all the stress. 

He sighed when he saw multiple missed calls from Donghyuck and messages asking about his whereabouts. He remembers that he didn't inform anyone about his journey and that everyone just shrugged it off for being the Korean Thanksgiving vacation.

Upon seeing another call from Donghyuck, Mark got frustrated with all this, and so he just blocked him. He didn't want to answer him, he didn't want to face him, he felt defeated by this world. 

\--------

"Are you serious?!" Donghyuck let out in disbelief dialing the same number to make sure what he thought was real. 

With a number of failed attempts and repeatedly the call is converted into a voicemail he finally came to a conclusion. 

"Mark Hyung blocked my number for real?!" he cried out throwing fists in the air with his hands and legs. “But why?!”

The night went with Donghyuck's discomforts whenever he remembered that Mark blocked his number. He was frustrated and confused. He just wanted one answer. 

Donghyuck looked at Chenle sleeping peacefully, he scoffed. "At least his relationship is not as complicated as mine." 

He definitely didn't think he was going to celebrate Thanksgiving in such vain. The next day he tried to go to his house just to realize that he's out of town. His heart was filled with hurt but on the other hand, he was angry. It's so startling that no one knew exactly where he had gone and when he was going to come back. When he asked the same question to Lucas, Winwin, and Jaehyun, they replied the same.

"Who the heck disappears like that?" he thought. He still hoped his phone was dead rather than believing that he blocked him. The rest of the day he spent was being glad over the food.

The next day was as gloomy as his mood was, already not impressed by no response from Mark for 2 days now, he decided to text back his best friends after a whole day he spent confused with Mark's whereabouts. 

He jumped in surprise and shock looking at his own face in the mirror, his hair messier than usual and his eyes refusing to open completely and his lips completely chapped reminding him a lot of a university student who didn't sleep, bath and did not come out of his room since a week because he had been watching his favorite drama. "That's something Jaemin would do," he mumbled to himself.

He groaned and washed like every day but with an unhealthy pinch of frustration and irritation adding his mood board today. Walking downstairs he realized that it was already 2 pm and sat for lunch beside a hyperactive Chenle.

To be very honest, it's the only food that's Donghyuck is looking forward to because Thanksgiving had to be ruined by the sudden disappearance of Lee Mark, his senior close friend, who by now Donghyuck had to accept the unchanging truth that he had confessed to him 2 days before. 

"Looks like Mr. Lee had a disastrous night, your honor, I feel bad for this situation of Mr. Lee being not able to sleep properly." Chenle started with his everyday routine, earning a death glare from Donghyuck. "And it also looks like Mr. Lee is in a very bad mood who wants to commit a crime-" 

"Chenle-yah, if you utter any other word, I swear I'll tear that red hoodie of yours which Jisung gave you and use it to mop the floor." Donghyuck threatened him and sat back with an innocent face leaving behind a Chenle who looked like he was about to cry for real.

"Mom!!" he shouted sadly adding a "Hyung is being mean to me again." 

Donghyuck mocked Chenle and scoffed. “As if you weren't mean by telling my friends that I kissed Mark. It didn't even mean anything, goddammit.”

"Oh please, I just texted them in the group chat and no one other than them knew, but they screamed just for once and the whole class already knew and bonus! You got into a fight again. At least I know when to scream and when to protect, be grateful.” Chenle scoffed. 

“Yeah right. Sorry.” Donghyuck mumbled quietly realizing his mistake, it was not Chenle's fault anyway nor he can blame his friends, they were just playing around.

\------

Donghyuck didn't expect Chenle to run back to him when he just left the house saying he's going for a walk. Both of them loitered in the park before finding and sitting on a comfortable bench.

"What's with this Mark hyung thing going on in your head?" he asked. "You say you don't like him and that his existence doesn't make a difference for you and then the other you are just messed up without him." 

“Of course I don't hate him. It's just to cover up for the rumors in the University that I and Mark were a thing.”

Chenle opened his mouth in realization and nodded in agreement. 

“Mark hyung's gone missing," Donghyuck added.

Chenle gave a confused look to Donghyuck before giggling cutely. "He's what?" 

"You heard me."

“Yeah, he's a toy in my hands that would go missing.”

"Chenle-ya, he is missing, his neighbor isn't there too. Do you think we need to give a missing report?"

"Don't you think you're out of your mind?" Chenle said exasperated. 

"No.. what if he's kidnapped or something…"

"What do you think he is? Five? He's out-of-town maybe, with Taeyong Hyung or something.”

"Who would travel with neighbors?"

“Dunno. He would, maybe!” Chenle let out, frustrated. “Didn't you say his phone is out of reach? Makes sense. Moreover, it's Thanksgiving. And perhaps, Taeyong can be his family friend.”

“What's up.” Donghyuck looked behind to see Jaemin and Jeno walking towards them. He looked back at Chenle who just shrugged. "Had to tell them, they spammed me with messages the whole day."

"Where are you going now?" 

"To Jisung's. He wanted help in Math." Chenle answered back.

"You never math in the house and you're going to math him?" Donghyuck said staring at Chenle who was now trying to find an excuse. 

"I'm smarter than you think, Hyung, in math," he said before running away laughing loudly.

"Renjun's gone to clear Yeri's doubts. Don't you think doubts are now out of hand?” Jeno said, making them laugh loudly. 

Of course, Jeno and Jaemin wouldn't be leaving him easily, both of them after a very hard session of argument on why Donghyuck didn't respond for a whole day they ended up in a serious conversation. 

Beginning with Mark's proposal and ending with Mark is nowhere found and the conversation extending to the fight. 

"You know no one really hangs out in near our dream spot," Jaemin said

Jeno nodded adding a "They were eavesdropping for sure." 

Donghyuck sighed. "I wish peace was an option.”

\------

Donghyuck decided not to overreact over Mark. He's going to come back anyway and then he would let his frustration out.

"Doyoung is getting too much," Jeno announced not caring about the honorifics anymore. 

Donghyuck laughed before spotting a familiar figure in the corridor. His blood boiled looking at how happy and unbothered he was giving a hi-fi to Winwin. 

"Mark Lee," he said to himself and ran towards him saying he would catch up with the others later. 

The corridor was filled with a bunch of groups of students making it difficult for him to find Mark. He searched for him for another 5 minutes before spotting him outside the canteen, alone, with a book as if he was waiting for someone.

He knew this was going to get a bit of attention since there were a lot of Students outside the canteen and Donghyuck didn't have the intention to hold back his frustration anymore, at this point he didn't care about what others would think about them, and he decided not to pay attention to those Yangyang boys if anything happened. 

"I understand disappearing is fun and all, but it's shit when you decide to play this kind. " Donghyuck blurted out.

Mark looked up with confusion before looking at Donghyuck blankly, "I didn't do it on purpose." he said and dropped his head into his book.

Donghyuck found these words so casual from Mark as if he expected this question. His anger rose at the sight that Mark didn't acknowledge the fact that he was trying to talk to him.

"Seriously? Is this too casual for you?"

"I am casual for you, so why do you even bother to care?" 

"Casual? You are being casual. Try standing in a situation when someone vanishes just like that.” 

Donghyuck was attacked by disbelief when Mark didn't even bother to open his mouth to answer him other than rolling his eyes at him

“Why are you like this? Are you seriously talking like this because I turned you down? I can't believe you, Mark."

"I didn't even speak of it, Donghyuck. And I am not scared of rejection, I accepted it. And you better forget it."

'Accepted it' he chuckled inwardly. He understood how easy it was to say things he didn't mean, neglecting his heart beating so fast that this emotion could soon turn into tears.

"And can you stop pretending to everyone that you actually were worried? You should try acting, you are so good that I seriously want to believe you." Mark scoffed. 

Although he had seen Mark getting angry at him, he knew it didn't last for a very long time, at least not days. Donghyuck stared at Mark with astonishment repeatedly asking himself if that's this the same Mark he knew?

"Okay, now I'm lost. What are you talking about?"

Mark turned his face away with a hopeless smile, now he was not able to believe a guy who just spoke a ton of junk that he doesn't even consider him friend just a few days ago so casually is now 'confused'

"Ask yourself, maybe you shouldn't talk about someone whom you don't care about or consider him to be your friend. If my existence brothers you so much stop calling me all the time as if you care and please stay away from me," he said looking into Donghyuck's eyes. "And yeah, it's Mark Hyung for you, make a serious habit of it."

Mark walked away furiously running to the washroom breathing out his anger. He closed his eyes fighting back his fake confidence he tried to show in front of Donghyuck.

\------

“How did I not think of this?!" Donghyuck's mind muttered every time he remembered Mark. 

Donghyuck felt his frustration and suffocation increasing with every minute he survived in his mother's class, which was rare. He would've not attended this class if Jaemin and Jeno didn't find him and dragged him to attend the class. He sighed in relief when the University bell rang. He immediately rushed to the science block. 

"Oh boy, look who we have here," Renjun grinned. Without any further warning, Donghyuck just dragged him to the library while Renjun just got to complain about what was happening.

"Can you shut up?" Donghyuck said finding a table in one corner of the huge silent library. "I messed up big time," he said with emotional eyes.

Renjun signed. “Of course!” he said, shaking his head in frustration. “What happened now?”

Donghyuck gave a detailed yet quick explanation to which Renjun had to keep his ears open. When his explanation came to an end he breathed heavily with nervousness.

"So, basically Mark thinks you don't like him and you had to make that scenario because you want everyone to think you and Mark are not together and because Mark is unaware of this, he hates you for talking bad behind him?" 

"Yes, that makes a little sense. I don't even know what to do." Donghyuck cried, putting his head in his hands. 

"Tell him the problem, there's nothing better than letting out the truth," Donghyuck looked back at him with an expressionless face. "Dude, Mark is really the softest person I've ever seen, I'm sure he'll understand this situation." Renjun's stopped while his lips suddenly curved into a small smile. 

Donghyuck looked back following his gaze to see a girl who was trying to say something to him.

"I think I need to go to the class," he said, getting up smiling awkwardly at Donghyuck. "FYI: she's Yeri. And trust me, Mark will understand. Talk to him," he said, patting his shoulder and walking out of the library.

The rest of the day Donghyuck counted on the number of hours more to the music class which was his final opportunity. He was getting his speech ready inside every minute Mark popped up in his mind. 

"Seriously Hyuck, stop panicking, it will be fine and let me know what happened," Jaemin said before they parted their ways. 

\--------

During the music, Donghyuck glanced awkwardly at Mark who was busy with his guitar. Thankfully their practice was very relaxed, Mark rectified Donghyuck when he needed to and it was a good harmony, but with less amount of interest and friendship. 

Donghyuck missed the liking in his eyes whenever he talked to him.  
After the class, when Donghyuck was talking to Wendy, he saw Mark packing his guitar and walked out of the class without looking behind. He excused quickly from her and ran towards him overtaking him and stopping him. 

"Listen to me, Mark, please." 

Mark just folded his arms and looked at him blankly. Donghyuck took this as an opportunity and gathered himself. 

"Okay, Hyung, you know the fight between me and them right?" Donghyuck asked, to which Mark just nodded, disinterested. "The other day it got very bad, there were different rumors spread about us which were not true. Yangyang and the others took this as an opportunity, I just wanted to pretend as if we don't have anything for each other and I just had to fake it saying I don't like you, I honestly didn't expect you to be listening because I thought you already left, I didn't mean anything I said that time, ask Chenle if you don't believe me. Please don't be like this, I want you back please." Donghyuck explained with pleading eyes just to get a 'Hmm' as a reply. 

Mark was about to say something when he got distracted when his phone vibrated. 

"This is important, I need to take this, we'll talk about this later. See you," he said and walked away.

\------

"Yeah, he got a call, and he left me. ALONE." Donghyuck sighed after he left a message in their group chat. 

Injun🦊: Teach that boy some manners! 

Nana🐰: Is he kidding me?

Jeno-jam 🐶: Woah, he can keep his attitude down, he isn't any legend just because he talks English and plays guitar, I can do that too!

Nana🐰: Jeno isn't lying. 

Injun🦊: And I thought he was a nice guy!

The group chat was immediately filled with a grudge against Mark. 

Nana🐰: We'll find you a better Mark that will leave a Mark in your heart with love, Hyuck-ie.😘

"He already left a mark though," Donghyuck mumbled, keeping his phone aside.

Later that dusk, Donghyuck quickly ran downstairs when he heard his father screaming his name.

"Can you bring a file from my shelf? It's in pink color, number 990802" 

Donghyuck nodded and walked to the room and saw the row full of pink files. He scanned for the number and took out all which started with 99. He looked at each file, photo, and the number he wanted. 

"990802. Aha!" he said, taking it out and putting the rest back into the row. He took the file and abruptly stopped looking at the photograph pasted. Bewildered, he went through the pages quickly. He covered his mouth frightened when he realized things he suspected weren't untrue.

\-------

“Mark lee is diagnosed with an anxiety disorder?” he questioned himself, still unable to believe whatsoever was going on. He went through the report again developing an ‘I understood but actually, I did not’ sort of feeling.

Well it was not usual for Donghyuck to see photographs of their close friends pasted on medical reports going through therapies for their anxiety. 

Walking downstairs still in utter disbelief he found his Father talking to Taeyong whom he reckoned must've just come to meet his Father. He kept the file on the coffee table earning his attention. 

“Thank you, sweetheart,” he said smiling to which Donghyuck could give a small nod. 

“Hey Donghyuck.” Taeyong waved at him.

“Is something wrong?” his father asked. 

Pointing at the file in front of them, he exclaimed, “This. This is wrong.” 

“You knew Mark Lee is the same Mark who I know, right?” he asked his father. 

His father sighed and sat back. “Yes.”

Donghyuck’s shoulders dropped. “Why didn't you tell me?” 

“Tell you about what? Donghyuck, this isn't Mark taking a Nobel prize in his 20s that I can tell you proudly.” his father said looking at him. “And he is just my patient. Before I can confide in someone I need a consent with the patient or his guardian, which I can say Taeyong in this case.” 

“You're his personal psychiatrist?”

Taeyong nodded. Now that explains and connects a lot of things. How did he even miss the fact that Taeyong was one of Mark's close friends, who was there with him knowing his every secret. He even travelled with Mark to his hometown. Mark was someone for Donghyuck who really kept his past and his emotional aspects only to himself and hardly knew about him personally even though they talked about a wide range of stuff. 

Although Donghyuck considered Mark as one of his close friends whom he would trust for anything knew very less from his side. The fact that his father also looked into Mark personally made him more worried if his condition was risky. 

“Whatever this is…” Donghyuck gulped. “Is this dangerous to his life?”

“Uncontrolled quantity of anything is risky, Donghyuck.” Taeyong said. “Put him into pressure he can't deal with, it can be poisonous to him, he might grow weak, emotionally, it might make him mental too.” 

“Is it okay if I know about this?” Donghyuck asked, uncertainly.

“As long as you can keep this private that might not make Mark insecure.” his father said. Donghyuck looked at both the doctors and nodded.

“What is this thing he's suffering from, exactly?” Donghyuck asked.

“GAD or Generalized Anxiety Disorder, something very common and characterized by constant and intemperate worry about a number of different things. In other words, there might be days for Mark being anxious about insignificant things like the thought of getting through the day.” Taeyong explained. 

Donghyuck nodded quietly.  
“Does this occur because of any accidents?”

“An accident? I wish that happened instead.” Taeyong responded immediately with a hopeless sigh.

“No. Donghyuck, it wasn't an accident.” his father said. “He was physically abused. By his Uncle. Between 8-14 years approximately.” 

Donghyuck sat petrified. He didn't understand how to react. He didn't expect the hole he was digging could go this deeper that he was now unable to even breathe properly.

“This is not true, you're lying, aren't you?” he said with a chuckle of disbelief. He felt his hair on his neck stand. “This just doesn't make any sense! Mark just doesn't seem like one who was abused.” he said remembering every single time Mark talked to him, flirting with him just like any other normal boy. 

“Did you ever look at him? He's always happy, and he always smiles, he never gets angry, he's good at academics, he's goofy, he just can't be like this- that's not true.” Donghyuck said standing up in frustration. “These are just lies!” he said pointing at the report.

“Makes sense, but you will never know the difference between salt and sugar until you taste and feel it. You've known Mark since what? 8 to 10 months? I've known him since he was 18, Donghyuck, even before I worked with your father." Taeyong said. “And what do you expect? To put a headband that he was abused so that everyone could know about it?” he responded. 

“That's not what I mean,” Donghyuck mumbled, embarrassed.

“Imagine his close friends not knowing about his whereabouts? You were his close friend too right?” Taeyong questioned, ignoring Donghyuck.

“We were not in good terms, maybe that's why-”

“But he is on good terms with Jaehyun and Winwin. And do you think it is normal? They weren't even surprised about him disappearing.” Taeyong scoffed.

Thinking about this, Taeyong wasn't lying, Donghyuck was just too desperate about Mark to suspect everyone. And Donghyuck never knew about Mark. Whatever he saw was not even his true self. It was just a mask to hide his real and hurt self.

“You might just know Mark as the perfect, Happy, disciplined human being like your description which was really convincing and convenient, but, the other side of the coin is just something the world doesn't know about and the true identity which he hides. Surely a very good extroverted perfect human being standing against the world smiling to please the world needing no extra attention. The world doesn't need to know the reality of him, he doesn't need the world's eyes looking at him with emotion that they care.” Taeyong paused.

Donghyuck was speechless. He felt the unconnected pieces slowly connecting. Surely the bruises were something he suspected, a mark of his abuse. The doctor's appointment. Donghyuck sat down giving up, he didn't have another choice than accepting the reality. 

“Why does he have to hide everything? He can express himself too, right? It makes me wonder how he is so good at pretending when nothing actually is.” Donghyuck asked looking at the doctors. 

“Okay. Look, first of all, there are many possibilities why he's hiding his true self, to begin with, he might think exposing his feelings to the world might make him feel powerless because of the sympathy or he might be ridiculed or called abnormal or it's just that he doesn't trust others easily, going through a lot in the childhood, Mark certainly lost the ability to express himself properly to most of the people due to the fear. He was emotionally so controlled and tortured that at this point he doesn't know who is going to be good and bad to him and fears that the world would turn back at him for his emotionally weak state,” Taeyong said.

“Right.” his father began. “Certainly he can express himself to someone if he finds the right person, it's not that he tells Taeyong everything because he's his friend but he's his doctor. He trusts him as his doctor. A right person at the right time can create wonders in him to recover. And there are possible ways of pretending to control your emotions. Mark is currently pretending to be "fine" when he actually isn't. This is making him weak every time he has issues.”

“Wouldn't suppressing emotions make you more aggressive? But I've never seen him getting mad." Donghyuck questioned.

“Well yes and no. It's not like Mark can't get angry. He can. It's a possibility that Mark is more of a person who expects the worst. He predicts something of this sort would happen in the worst stage and proceeds to teach himself to be ready for this situation. Anger is not as bad as it seems, showing anger is a good sign for him.” explained his father.

“It's a shame that no one could actually see the right through him when he clearly looked like he could've died,” Taeyong said shaking his head.

Donghyuck's eyes widened. “Could've died?” 

“Yeah, I don't think he could've survived another day in Canada if they didn't bring him here.”

“According to Taeyong Mark looked like a boy who had issues to even breathe properly, was very skinny, and didn't interact with anyone. He himself took a lot of time to actually convince Mark to talk to him and open up with him. He used to stay back with Mark during the nights just like how his uncle used to stay when his parents were out for their work and left his uncle for a great opportunity to suck Mark's sanity off him. But, it was really a great progress Mark showed, it can be the confidence that his uncle was no more here. Maybe that's the only good thing his parents did to save their child.” his father elucidated. 

“Wonderful people, his parents,” Taeyong said. “Really humble and sweet, also business-minded, very strict and used to be a lot pressuring in studies, that made Mark studious. If only they didn't scare him too much, he would've taken his favorite path without fearing them.”

Donghyuck couldn't grasp what he meant. Suddenly he felt his mind breaking into doubts again until his father spoke.

“He means that Mark is studying English without his parent's notice. Mark was here to study business because they wanted to extend their business empire here and also Mark could join after he completes his studies here.”

Donghyuck sighed dramatically. He felt the exhaustion hitting him while he just sat there listening to 2 skilled doctors talking about psychological disorders that his close friend was going through. 

He felt his mind floating and felt stars moving around his head.  
“Am I now mental?" He questioned himself. 

“It's okay. You're good. Take some rest, you've learned a lot today.” Taeyong said with a warm smile. 

“Thanks for trusting me.” he said looking at Taeyong.

Taryong smiled and nodded adding a “As long as you won't break it.”

He ran back upstairs hearing his father screaming “I expect you to study".

He had just one question left. His uncle. But he knew that story was definitely something he was not ready to hear today. He fell on the bed with the same person moving around in his head. 

Mark, Mark, and Mark.

“This is so crazy. Why should all this happen to me?!” he cried, burying his head in his pillow.

The evening was all Donghyuck spent with his books and looking at his phone expecting something from Mark.

With his frustration building up, he finally texted him, “You still mad at me?" 

The whole house was quiet with Donghyuck enjoying the comfort of the silence until he heard the screaming and dolphin laugher from downstairs. 

Chenle. 

He closed his eyes inhaling the frustration. He would soon be in his room and soon there would be an interrogation about Mark.

Donghyuck's unsaid fear was now turning real. Chenle is obsessed with Mark.

“Hyung!" Chenle said, peeping into the room. 

Here the satan arrives. 

He walked into the room with a bright smile and sat in front of Donghyuck to gain his attention.

“What happened? Did you talk with big head 3?” Chenle asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

Donghyuck looked back at Chenle with confusion. “Big what?"

“Bighead 3. I'm Bighead 1, Jisung is number 2 and Mark Hyung is number 3.” Chenle explained.

“For heaven's sake!” Donghyuck mumbled. He was in peace studying the Criminal Law and Chenle is explaining to him about big heads. Seems legit. 

“That's not the point. Tell what happened,” he demanded.

“Your big head 3 felt me alone because he got an important call,” Donghyuck said 

Chenle's happy face soon dropped. “Oh." Donghyuck stared at Chenle with a 'are you done' look when Chenle's face immediately changed into a smile. “It's okay.” he said patting his back adding a “He just gave you a taste of rejection. You deserve it." to which Donghyuck jaw dropped while he laughed and ran into the washroom.

\-----

Donghyuck yawned after learning a few laws and completing the question and answers and closed his textbook and looked at Chenle laughing in the verandah. 

Donghyuck rolled his eyes remembering Chenle saying that he sleeps in peace if he talks to Jisung before going to bed. 

Donghyuck sighed as he looked into his phone with no response from Mark. Lying on the comfortable mattress he stared at the ceiling thinking about Mark and the conversation he had about his disorder. 

“What are you thinking?" Donghyuck snapped out of his thoughts as Chenle tried to make a conversation. “Is it about Mark Hyung?" Chenle questioned.

“Why do you have to assume that I'm always thinking about Mark?”

“Because you are not desperate for other things as much as you are for Mark." He said giving Donghyuck a cheeky smile. 

“Oh God save me,” Donghyuck muttered to himself. 

“It's okay hyung. He will sure forgive you. Your charm will never let anyone ignore you for long, I'm sure he can't live with you entertaining him and helping him in smiling for a longer time.” Chenle said with a convincing smile.

“You sure I can make him feel better right?” 

“Of course! You can't be questioning your abilities, that's rude.”

Donghyuck looked back into the ceiling, his mind taking him into the world of his late-night thoughts.

\--------

The next morning was bright and warm. The whole day in University went to Donghyuck searching for Mark. It was not because he wanted to see his face or something, but he just wanted answers. Giving up, he decided to wait till music class.

Donghyuck repeatedly checked his watch after the music class started. “I swear if he doesn't turn up today-" 

15 mins in the class, Mark didn't turn up. Donghyuck almost gave up until he heard a voice.  
“May I come in?” 

Donghyuck immediately turned his face to see Mark walking in.

“Should've come after an hour. You're too early.” 

Mark smiled biting his lips and closed his eyes whispering a soft sorry. Donghyuck chuckled and admired his white and denim pants completing his outfit with glasses looking exactly the same as he looks every day. Although the whole day went messed up for Donghyuck, he was satisfied with the music class.

“So?” Donghyuck started a conversation after they reached the bus stop.

“So? So what?”

“Are you still mad at me?” Donghyuck asked nervously.

Mark nodded as NO with a soft smile to which Donghyuck heartfelt better than ever. 

“Sorry for that day though. Taeyongie Hyung called, so I had to leave." Mark said, taking his phone out.

“No it's fine." Donghyuck lied.

“Of course I wasn't upset or offended, I don't even worry about it. And I could even sleep better than ever.” He thought and looked away irritated. 

“I would really appreciate it if you unblock me you know,” Donghyuck said, trying his best not to be obvious that he was absolutely on his edge to throw his hands on Mark.

Mark cracked up in satisfaction, at least that's what Donghyuck saw in that smile. 

“Oh yeah. I'm so sorry about that,” he said.

“You don't mean it right?”

“No I don't. You irritated me a lot that day so.. I had to.” 

“I hate you,” Donghyuck said, earning a chuckle from Mark.

“Text me after you go home,” Donghyuck said as they parted their ways.

\------

“You know what I realized today?" Donghyuck asked Chenle after reading Mark's 'I reached home' text.

“What?"

“When you need answers to questions you need to wait, some answers are already answered but you just need to learn them and some are already existing in front of your eyes but you're just unable to identify them until someone explains them to you.”

This is the correct representation of what's happening in Donghyucks life which he couldn't stop telling Chenle indirectly. 

“Elaborate."

“I just felt like saying it,” Donghyuck lied. 

“I think you're now happy that Mark isn't angry with you anymore?" Chenle asked.

Donghyuck smiled and nodded. Later Dognhyuck decided to hang out with him and texted Mark.

Donghyuck: Hey

Donghyuck: wanna hang out tomorrow?

Mark: suddenly? Did you miss me that much?😹

“ As a matter of fact, yes” he admitted to himself.

Donghyuck: shut up. just say yes or no, dude.

Mark: Yes, Love!😋

“Wierd idiotic flirt!” Donghyuck giggled shyly and replied. 

Donghyuck: dude you're so wired😑

Mark: not as much as you😒

Mark: anyway, place and time? 

Donghyuck: central park? After the music class?

Mark: done. 

\-------

Donghyuck left the day passing really fast yet the music class didn't end. While Wendy was talking about something very important, Donghyuck and Mark practiced their handshake.

“You just mess up all the time," Mark yelled at Donghyuck while they walked around the park after the music class.

“Yangyang and Hendery are away from you these days?" Mark asked when both if they found a nice place to sit down 

“Yes. We are not even looking at them these days, and they are not bothering us. That fight was really something.”

“Yes it was. What happened between you and them though?”

“It's just too silly. I don't even know why it began but all started with that question of who was good at what. But then, later on, it got terrible with these Captains, they thought it was unfair because it's just the reputation of us because our mothers are teachers here. Seriously? Are they too blind to see that Professor Doyoung hates me? He looks at me as if I am some kind of cockroach. Good impression, my foot!”

Mark laughed hysterically as Donghyuck expressed his frustration. 

\-------

When donghyuck asked Mark about how his childhood was in Vancouver, he didn't expect an anxiety patient to rant about his obsession over the guitar, his parents being encouraging of his liking for the music and how they had their karaoke in their holiday weekends, how he aced the subjects in the class and becoming the teachers' favorite, a good amount of people whom he could call companions, of how he drooled over the spiderman series and lion king. Judging by the talk they had, Donghyuck deduced that 'what could possibly go wrong with an adorable child, a calm and innocent one, too uninviting for someone to hurt him and could get him anxious, the one who had no issues with friends, had a girlfriend in the past who returned his feelings?' But again, as Taeyong said, he didn't see the other side of Mark.

Snapping away from his thoughts, Donghyuck raised a question towards the older, "From when did you start rapping tho? You don't seem like the bad guy with a rowdy behavior to overtake this style?" for which Mark laughed a bit embarrassed. Mark defends, "I did a lot of freestyle and composed lyrics by myself since my middle school."

Donghyuck looked at him in awe and questioned himself of how cool Mark is when he actually dismissed him as one of the boring nerdy guys.

"Yeah, I know it's pretty cool," Mark said, making Donghyuck wonder if the thoughts can actually be loud to be heard by anyone else. Mark continued with an excited smile, "You know, in my junior high school, we had a music competition and I participated with seulgi in which I rapped, " he clasped his hands, "and we won the competition."

"Wait-, who's seulgi? Is that your-" Donghyuck stopped himself from speaking further trying not to form ice between them.

But Mark smiled in contentment, "yeah, she was my girlfriend. She was special, you know, the way she smiled, and how we used to be an infamous couple in the school... Too bad we broke up. But I can't be happier, she is still my friend... And I'm glad we aren't the typical exes struggling with their feelings or getting over each other."

Donghyuck hums in reply and adds, "Mark, that's when you are 15, and you were too young to have a thing like love... It's just a 'like' which you both had for each other, I guess" and molded his tone in an appealing way that wouldn't invade his personal space.

"Yeah, I know.. It was not my love... I was so young back then... Too innocent to know about love. But she did teach me about it tho, I can't lie about it. But love doesn't come by age, it comes by experience. Now you see, you don't know much about-" he instantly covered with the palms wishing that Donghyuck didn't hear him but he did. 

"Huh?" Donghyuck questioned.

"The other day, you told me that you don't like stuff and all so..'' Donghyuck hummed in approval, "And it's not about the age, it's about the experience."

Donghyuck gave his ordinary nod before the boys decided to shift the next segment of their date to the ice cream parlor. Mark would obviously prefer the watermelon one and Donghyuck chose the chocolate ice cream to melt away sweetly in his dry mouth. 

Sooner or later, Mark started off again with his childhood tales of how he would skip the last class of the day to have their cute little 'date-time' with seulgi to sneak into a random ice cream parlor every day.

"I swear, we both love ice cream a lot. You know she is so much for it that once she had a popsicle which was manufactured a year ago, and because of her influence, had once had ice cream on a rainy day," he paused, while Donghyuck's 'are you for real' look went unnoticed and so he continued, "although both of us suffered a cold the following day, " giggling.

Donghyuck's usual sass jumps out to counter-attack him for his imbecility for having cold food on a rainy day making Mark doubt himself of why he has even told Donghyuck about it.

Mark snaps at the younger, "I get it, you are jealous, " the cheeky grin evident on his thin lips. Donghyuck was ready to throw hands on Mark but his hands were busy with the chocolate ice cream and just answered, "I couldn't care less about your ex-gIrLfriEnD."

Mark could only crack up at his reaction and the conversation later changed when Donghyuck enunciated about how he used to stargaze with Chenle, the Ursa major and the great dipper structured the space, stars filling the eternal summer sky, the thought of how big the universe was, humbled him. Also, how the stars shined and brought glimmer in the darkest nights, enduring the warmth and fervor to him.

Mark muttered subconsciously looking at Donghyuck "I wish my life is bright like the stars you described; I would have hope" hope that he can be happy and that he wasn't weak or a bad person, hope that parents would accept him for lying to them, hope that he can fight all the odds, including his uncle. Mark stared at his shoes, defeated.

Donghyuck was stunned by his words and comprehends how difficult it is for Mark to be struggling with this. Mark clearly didn't deserve this. He noticed the discomfort in Mark as soon as he said it and so he thought it's better that they don't elaborate on this topic.

Mark looked at Donghyuck and traced the moles from under his sparkling eyes, to his cheeks, to his neck exposed with the oversized white shirt. Donghyuck peered at him confused about what Mark wanted to say so he supposes to ask him.

"Mark, What are you looking at? If you want me to stop you from paying money for my share of ice cream, it would be an eternity."

"Hey!"

Mark brought up his forefinger to touch his cheek startling the younger boy. He moves his finger gently, lining them softly, connecting them dot by dot, and whispered, "There is an Constellation here" and I want to kiss them.

Upon the sudden realization of what just happened, Mark retracted his finger to his pocket and Donghyuck coughed awkwardly and tilted his face to the other side to touched his ear to feel the hotness when Mark kept saying sorry and stuttered, "I-i am so S-sorry, I did it without realization."

Donghyuck nodded in assurance, "No problem, it's fine."

Before bidding goodbye to Mark, Donghyuck smiled at him and said, "Take care, Mark. Reach home safely."

\--------

Mark sighed at how Donghyuck messed up their handshake while rehearsing and complained about how he would scold for messing up even the slightest things but now, it's the other way round, where Donghyuck gave excuses at how the chair was in the middle that hurt his leg ignoring the heavy footsteps approaching them and finally Mark was awakened by a familiar voice inside his ear. 

"Boo!"

Both the boys were caught by surprise and Donghyuck was clearly shocked by the abrupt presence of a woman in her 20s with a black hoodie with grey sweatpants, looking glamorous even in the informal clothing and how she just screamed in Mark's ear as she had known him since his boyhood and surprisingly Mark smiled brightly at her appearance and extended his wide arms to hug her. Donghyuck was really confused.

"KANG SEULGI!" Mark exclaimed, "Long time no see, How did you get here? I mean- how- how do you know this place?"

Seulgi smiled before looking at Mark and Donghyuck (who had just understood that she was Mark's girlfriend) and answered, "I'm on my holiday, and I came to see my cousin, Wendy. She asked me to take a tour around the class and so yeah, here I am."

Mark raised his head in excitement, "Wow, that's so cool, oh my God. The world is surely a small place" making her smile cutely.

"Too small that you don't let others breathe." Donghyuck thought.

It was soon when Mark introduced Donghyuck to seulgi trying to blend him in the chat of their mid-school memories but Donghyuck absolutely felt left out when they started talking about their competition they participated together and singing the song by themselves. 

Donghyuck tried to reach out and involve himself with them, but his efforts went in vain. He felt the irritation dripping down his body and temper burning his brain when they ignored him. 

As the timer ended, he coaxed Mark to get home only resulting in Mark dodging him as he was too busy. He frowned at his behavior and moved to Chenle to drag him out immediately to the home.

"You can see jisung tomorrow, can't you just make it fast? We are getting late already."

Chenle took his gripped hand away from his Hyung and said, "Hyung, just calm down. What is wrong with you? Is it because of the girl that's talking to big head 3?"

Donghyuck was irritated is an understatement, "oh just shut up, you idiot. Have you ever practiced sincerely without looking at me and mark?" he rolled his eyes, "And I'm absolutely not jealous if you are thinking about that."

What a lie.

"Yeah, sure." Chenle snorts.

Donghyuck regretted saying he wasn't jealous because they next day he could find himself getting disturbed by the most insignificant things possible, like, when the said woman, named Seulgi, reflected herself in his eyes, asking, "Are you rehearsing for the competition?"

Donghyuck let out an inaudible whisper, "Do you think we shit in a music class?" which was faintly understandable to Mark because of their thin physical distance separating them causing him to break into fits of laughter and slightly hitting onto his arm for making a 'not-so-rude' joke, but perplexing Seulgi of what happened.

But she was observant enough to note that there was something fishy between the two as if Donghyuck didn't admire her presence near Mark. She smiled to herself and so she did confront Mark at the end of their session when Donghyuck excused himself for the restroom.

Seulgi slapped lightly on Mark's palm, "Hey, is something up between you two?" and smirked.

When he looked at her in a shocked expression, she smacked him again, "Don't pretend you didn't understand what I meant.. You look at him with stars in your eyes and he clearly got jealous of me when I got close to you."

Mark blushed at her comment and shakes his head as a 'no' causing her to narrow her brows, "Come on, Mark. I have the best friend's privileges to know about your love interest."

Mark smiled, "Well, I actually like him but I don't think he likes me in that way, like-you know. So we are like-just like-you know, best friends." God, he stammered a lot.

"Cute,'' She mumbled to herself placing her hand on Mark's shoulder and Mark covered his face. 

"See I wasn't wrong. But really, I think he likes you back. You should have seen the look on his face, oh my God, " she paused and shifted her gaze to her right side to catch Donghyuck trying to overhear them from a distance, and laughed at how he turned his head into other direction when caught of what he was doing. She patted him on his shoulder, "You both look good together."

Mark nodded, "Hope he realizes this soon, " and looked at Donghyuck again struggling his best to know what's happening between them. 

"Well, you just don't like him, I am sure you love him."

Mark purses his lips and pretends to think for a while, "You know me too well that it scares me."

"I have double positions then; being a girlfriend and friend both,'' she winked.

"You are really special, as a matter of fact." Mark smiled.

"Well then, I am leaving tomorrow. My flight's in the afternoon. I felt so happy to meet you again."

"Tomorrow? You just came a day ago, I thought you stayed longer. I even thought of inviting you to my house today."

"Mark ssi, my Bae Joohyun is waiting for me" she winked.

Mark smirked, "Bae huh?" It's his time to tease.

"Shut up, Mark. It's her surname." She says defending, hiding her obvious embarrassment on her chubby cheeks. 

Mark laughs in satisfaction before enveloping her in a warm hug and saying goodbye. 

"Okay, don't hug me for long, I am shorter than you and I am embarrassed about that,'' Mark said with a straight face and Seulgi slapped his cheek and placing her other hand on her lips.

"You are cute, Mark Lee. It must not be hard for Donghyuck for falling for you."

"Well, about him... I think, he would rather tease me about being short than calling me cute." Mark said unbelievably. Both of them bid a final goodbye before parting ways.

As she left, he felt heavy steps coming closer to him which he recognizes as Donghyuck, with an irritated expression pressed on his face but not saying anything.

Mark initiates "Are you fine?"

Fine? 

Seriously, Mark asked him if he was fine?

Heck, he wasn't fine.

He wasn't fine after seeing them together, too close for exes to be together. So he just sends him a death glare. Something in him doesn't make him feel fine. 

Well, Donghyuck didn't know himself of why he was behaving like the way he was but decides to excuse himself of how annoying Mark and Seulgi were together.

So, what now? Am I supposed to listen to them even if their jokes are worse than Jeno's? So what if Seulgi was extraordinarily smart and cute like a bear when she smiled? So what if Mark continuously complimented her for every small fucking thing she does? So what?

Donghyuck knew he was getting overboard and that he should simply stop accusing a random girl just because she was with Mark. To be honest, he felt bad too, for being rude and felt embarrassed in front of them. But Mark need not know that he thought.

Mark chuckled, "Don't worry, she has a girlfriend already, Joohyun. Just wanted you to know so that you don't get jealous of her."

"How'd you know that?"

"She said to me yesterday when you got irritated, so you left us and kept denying about not being affected by us being together." Mark smiled but Donghyuck had his mouth open. 

So Mark knows. 

Mark saw him. 

Donghyuck covered his flustered expression by a thoughtful question that came to his mind, "Are you fine about that tho? I mean- you know- like- she was your ex-girl-"

Mark cut him off by taking a step closer to Donghyuck, "I used to like her, hyuck. It wasn't love," he continued by circling his arms around Donghyuck, "I love someone else now, deeper, and more than anyone else in the world." and that's you. 

Donghyuck stood there frozen unable to speak the words. He understood what Mark meant by that but just chose not to recognize his feelings to accept him.

He felt scared to reply to anything else so he just made it up to say, "See you tomorrow, Mark." he paused to smile weakly, "And yeah, Reach home safely okay?"

Mark hummed and called Donghyuck when his back figured appeared.

"Hyuck?"

"Hmm?"

"Thank you for caring and worrying about me."

"It's okay."

"Also,"

"hmm?"

"I love you, Donghyuck, sincerely."

\------

Walking through the silent road, Donghyuck recalled the events of the day. Did he really feel so jealous of Seulgi that everyone else noticed it, even chenle? And Did Mark confess to him? Again? Does Mark still love him? Even after the rejection? And thanked him for caring about him? How can he be so mindless about it? How can he still love him after feeling so hurt? How did he not give up on Donghyuck? How can he still love someone after withstanding so much hate from his uncle? How can he be so courageous to love Donghyuck again?

His mind roamed with several 'hows' not focussing on Chenle asking which milkshake he wanted. Giving up, Chenle just had it to himself. 

Worried about Donghyuck, Chenle pressed his palm on his brother's.

"Hyung?"

"Yeah?"

"You don't have to be ashamed of loving someone."

Donghyuck displayed his anger, "Oh my God, no. Not again. I don't love Ma-"

Chenle cuts him off, "Yeah I know. You don't love him. But I also want YOU to know that Mark Hyung isn't a person who deserves to be unloved by anyone, not even you."

He struggled to think of excuses of why he couldn't love him back.He wasn't scared of the taboo of boy loving another boy in a romantic way, he was sure 'love' couldn't be his distraction for his studies or not even affected by any comments in his university. Coming to Mark, he has never seen Mark as a bad human or incapable of receiving affection. He liked him too. Mark is an amazing person. He wasn't sure of why he wasn't able to see Mark in the way he was. Unable to fill up the brain with unanswered questions, he sighed deeply but Chenle's words wouldn't stop ringing in his ears.

"Mark Hyung doesn't deserve to be given up on easily."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!:-)  
> Hope your day is going well, and if you are in a bad mood, hope this story makes your mood. Keep smiling❤


	3. Station 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roads are not always straight, speed breakers and traffic signals are a thing too. Life is neither predictable nor the way it chooses to surprise you. Mark and Donghyuck soon tackle moments they never predicted but still tasted the sweetness in their life.

❝You don't need to be ashamed to love someone.❞

❝Mark doesn't deserve to be unloved, not even by you.❞

❝Mark Hyung doesn't deserve to be given up easily.❞

Donghyuck found himself staring at infinity while these philosophies moved around his head like the planets around the sun. ‘Dolphins delusions ’ he loved to call them. Those days were long gone when he didn't give attention to them, now the mind has become so fickle that he's constantly dwelling on things that shouldn't matter to the Donghyuck he himself knew about.

A random girl from Canada lands here happens to be Mark's ex and he's jealous of her? That's not the actual case too, the thing that hurt his pride was the fact that he's so obvious that she tells Mark that he's bothered by her. 

Worst of all, now he's half sure that he has something for Mark. Maybe that makes sense, who wouldn't love a boy who looks and is like a Disney prince. But conditions applied, Mark was a flirt, a very weird and absurd tease which he unconsciously liked, however, watching himself flustered by it, he didn't fancy that at all. 

Mark's presence became so captivating that he was now shy for every little thing he did towards him. He also noticed that he was a lot different around Mark than he was with others.

His hands roamed around his hair cursing himself internally for zoning out again, flipping through the pages of his book, he asked himself, "Is this really love?" 

"Yes. And you took so much time to realize it." Jaemin spoke and Donghyuck snapped out of his thoughts. Jeno blushed, slapping Jaemin's hands for some reason which Donghyuck didn't know and didn't want to know.

He remembered he was in Jeno's house for their group study. He just wanted to be invisible and never be seen again, it's the second day he came to study with Jeno and Jaemin and everything was possible here except for studying. He supposed he can stand being ignored by Chenle for years, but he will never hang out with a couple and end up 3rd wheeling. Jaemin was trying too hard not to be obvious and Jeno was just holding back because Donghyuck was here.

Setting back his hair properly, he packed his bag. 

"You leaving already?" Jeno asked.

"Yes because I want to die a better death than watching one of you flirt and the other try not to." he snapped making Jaemin blush in embarrassment. "And moreover, it's already time for music class and I'm running late. See ya."

Apologizing Taeil for being late, he sneaked beside Mark earning a soft chuckle for him. 

_____

"We actually need more classes from Taeil hyung," Donghyuck said as he waited for Mark to pack his guitar after the class was over earning a nod and hum from Mark. 

Both walked outside the classroom and suddenly Mark was about to trip. Donghyuck immediately held Mark's hand helping him. Mark giggled imagining his clumsiness, but Donghyuck was not having any of this. "You scared me. You okay right?" he asked, softly rubbing Mark's back.

Mark looked at Donghyuck questioningly. Perhaps, Mark didn't expect someone like Donghyuck to overreact to something so silly like tripping over his feet, nevertheless, he brushed it off thinking he was playing around. It is never easy to handle someone like Donghyuck, especially to Mark since they differ from each other a lot and Donghyuck was always full of surprises.

"Take care, Mark. Text me after you reach, ok?" Donghyuck said with a hint of concern in his voice. Mark smiled and nodded. Donghyuck was not in a position to think if he was exaggerating or not, he just wanted Mark to be safe, healthy, and happy all the time. He stood there until his body completely disappeared.

Sometimes Donghyuck felt it was good that Mark didn't stay very far from his house, it was just a 15min walkable distance which he could reach in 5min if he had a bike. And Donghyuck was doing decent with Taeyong too, they recently shared their mobile numbers and Donghyuck thought Taeyong was not as boring as he imagined him to be.

_____

Mark started to notice that Donghyuck recently reminded him of Taeyong. When Donghyuck started interrogating about his eating and sleeping routines every day, it became too much. This is not what he expected when he thought Donghyuck started to care about him, now this seemed extra and unnecessary.

Mark rubbed his eyes, tiredly adjusting himself to the sunlight that lightened his darkroom. Rolling himself on the bed, irritated, he got up and dragged his feet towards the bathroom. He completely ignored his messy hair and dark circles below his eyes to which he was now used to, he was sure he would look like a complete ghost one day, but he was thankful that he would keep the drama girls off his shadow. 

Coming outside after washing himself, he cried, "Can I just skip today?" He lazily walked downstairs and heard Taeyong talking on his phone. 

"Yes, Dr. Kang would be attending the seminar postponed to January in Las Vegas. You will be flying to Paris the very next day," he said. 

Mark just shrugged and thought of waiting for him at the dining table but stopped midway after he realized where the conversion was going.

"Honestly, sir you're right. Mark is doing a lot better than usual. It's true that Donghyuck has been a great help. I would say Donghyuck made him better and it wasn't a bad choice to trust him with Mark's problem. Maybe they are just meant to be." Taeyong said with a smile that Mark didn't see even when he was the happiest or even when he was with Johnny. 

Mark got alarmed with Taeyong coming outside and pretended everything to be normal. Taeyong looked at him and smiled while hanging up the call. "You got up early today?" he asked with a chuckle earning back an unfelt smile from Mark.

Mark's mind went around with different questions every minute. He didn't comprehend what he heard a moment ago. "Donghyuck actually knew about my past?" He questioned internally. Donghyuck would be the last person Mark wished to know about him.

Mark just vibed with Taeyong during the breakfast to bluff everything was okay just so he won't be concerned and ask him questions like a professional psychiatrist he was. He sighed reaching the bus stop. Things now made a lot of sense on why Donghyuck was concerned and asked him questions related to food and sleep which were not needed for their daily conversations. For some reason, he felt very hurt. All these days he thought Donghyuck cared for him genuinely, his eyes glistened with love and care but it turned out to be just him being a good friend and sympathetic. Just like Taeyong. He shouldn't have expected something that was never going to happen. He felt rejected, again. But this one felt like it hit him really hard. Direct rejection was way better than being sympathetic because you are a little different.

“Meant to be, my foot!” he scoffed.

_____

Mark felt very tired and sleepy during his classes. He thought the day was going good until the recess started, every time Mark sipped his coffee, he felt glares from Donghyuck through the other side of the canteen like millions of darts coming towards him, he couldn't even dare to make eye contact. Excusing himself from Jaehyun and Lucas, he walked outside with his cup. 

"Lunch is meant to eat, not to drink 7 cups of coffee." he heard a voice, Mark sighed, he didn't even need to know who was talking. 

"I'm sleepy, okay?," Mark replied carelessly now looking at Donghyuck who was standing in front of him. "And moreover, I ate today morning," he nodded reassuringly.

"Stop being careless about lunch, Mark. No one drinks 7 cups of coffee in half an hour just because they are sleepy. And don't give me dumb excuses.” 

"I don't have time to give you reasons, let me go," Mark asserted, having enough of this conversation.

"No sweetie, you don't even have any excuses nor valid reasons, in conclusion..." he paused looking at him. "You need to eat," 

"Yes, I don't have a proper reason. And no, I'm not going to eat, will you stop acting like my boss and treating me like a kid all the time?" Mark asked. He knew this was going to happen, he was sure that he was going to reach his edge and would blow up on him for how much Donghyuck had already crossed the limit.

"Mark, look. I take care of those who need to be taken care of, and look at you! I even need to remind you that lunch is meant to eat." 

"You don't need to! I never asked you? Can you stop following me around me trying to know about me all the time?" Mark let out as his frustration was now building up, he didn't have any intention of holding back anymore. 

"What would you do if I say I won't?" 

Mark glared at Donghyuck. He wondered why Donghyuck had to walk around caring for him if he had a choice of just letting it go, it's not unusual for him to hear patients who suffered like him. That's no big deal, but what Mark soon reckoned is, things seemed to connect when Donghyuck's father was a doctor too and he had met Mr. Lee for most of the therapies. Of course, his father might've told him about his past because he was his close friend and to take care of him. Now that's an amazing story. He thought. 

Mark exhaled, "Donghyuck, you don't need to take care of me because of your father." 

Donghyuck frowned. "My what? My father?" he questioned. "The hell are you talking about?!"

"You know very well the hell I am talking about. I sincerely request you to stop moving behind me telling me what to do and what to not." Mark fumed. "Are you really incapable of realizing that I've been through a lot more than this? I didn't even eat for weeks together? I've gone through a lot worse and that truth still haunts me as nightmares." 

Donghyuck bit his lips, he soon realized Mark was aware that Donghyuck knew about him. "Oh, bloody hell.” that's the last thing he heard from his head.

But he knew there was no point in hiding this anymore. "Mark I only wanted to help you." 

"Help me? Help me with what? Making me feel abnormal all the time? Do you ask the same question and care just like you do with me with your best friends? Do you really think you can help me out with your extra concern? Clearly objectifying and pointing me out every time with everything makes me feel the same pain and makes it remind me that I'm suffering, this is the sympathy and I never asked for it." Mark exhaled. He felt his heart thumping and his face heating up.

"Let me explain, Mark. I'm really very sorry for making you feel so, I really wanted to see you happy both in and out, and healthy all the time, I promise, but all the things I did, I thought I was helping you, no one really told me to do this, I wanted to do this myself. You didn't deserve any of this, we can't change the past but can change the future for your best."

There was a lump in Mark's throat which he couldn't ignore. He was thankful for this that someone understood. But there was something that held him back, he can't just fall on him, thanking for understanding. At least not now, he needs time to let all this sink in into his mind.

"Don't worry about anything, your secrets are my safe home. You can talk to me whenever you want to, I don't force you to trust me. Take your time." Donghyuck assured, with a smile. This one thing he was sure of. Donghyuck personally looked very high at Mark and prioritized him. And he didn't know for what reason, but Mark was special. 

He could see Mark's face getting a bit calmer. Before Mark left, he just took his hands into his and intertwined. Mark's warm hands against his cold fingers gave him a satisfactory feeling, a feeling of being complete as if it was meant to be. 

Looking at Mark, he wanted to just hug him and tell him it was okay. He exhaled and said, "Believe me, all this is not sympathy, I want you to know I genuinely care for you."

The university bell rang and Mark broke their hands that were together and ran towards his class.

_____

"You know Jeno and Jaemin brought those couple bikes yesterday. And they are just amazing. Yesterday I and Jisung rode, they were just wow!" Chenle blabbered on their way to their music class. Donghyuck remained silent still thinking about Mark. "Honestly it feels so bad to come to music class after basketball practice. Ugh! I don't feel like doing anything after playing."

Donghyuck just hummed in response.

"Something wrong?" 

"Hmm. I think our canteen is jinxed for me and Mark." 

"I'm sick of your problems with Mark," Chenle shook his head.

Donghyuck ignored Chenle and the class started with Donghyuck's prediction that Mark was not going to come to the class and it happened. He felt miserable.

His phone popped open showing Taeyong's message in the notification bar. 

"Why isn't Mark lifting his calls? Anyways, inform him that I'm going to be in a meeting today and would be late home, and ramen is in the kitchen 1st shelf." reading this, excused himself and hurried outside. 

"What does he mean? Why isn't he lifting his calls?" He thought.

He asked Chenle to go home and dialed Mark's number repeatedly thinking about the possibilities of where Mark could be. 

"Mark? Where the heck are you?" he literally screamed into the phone finally when he lifted the call.

The other side of the phone, all he could hear was wild music and a lot of screaming. 

"Oh no, please, it's not what I am thinking." he pleaded internally.

“Hey yo, Hyuck?” Mark screamed from the other side. “Wanna go crazy with me, boy?” he giggled. "Oiii? Ya know? This bar boy looks cute. Say you reject me one more, I'm hooking up with him.” 

Donghyuck closed his eyes and spoke again, "No, Mark, listen. Where are you?"

“Oiiiii~ So you wanna go crazy with meh? Nau'ty boy. Come here to light in bluuuueeee.” 

Walking around locations near his house for nearly an hour, he found what he was looking for. He immediately barged into the bar, he walked around the whole bar for the next few minutes until he found him near the counter sleeping on his hand looking at the boy tender at the counter. 

Mark had been drinking. Why? For how long? These were questions for another time.

"Mark, let's go," he said, lifting him.

"Ayyyy...Hyuck my loveeee," he said dreamily looking at him. “See? I told ya, ain't he da prince charming?” he added looking at the bartender. 

"Oh my gosh." Donghyuck sighed, containing his smile and picking him up and putting Mark's arm around his shoulder.

“But I love ya more." Mark giggled falling on Donghyuck as he connected their heads together.

"Mark, standstill until I find a cab, please?" Donghyuck begged, trying to make him stand straight after dragging himself outside. 

"Such a pain in the ass. This donkey has non-existent alcohol tolerance," he muttered under his breath. 

After finding a cab, Donghyuck realized how annoyingly cute Mark could get when he was drunk, Mark didn't take the name of being silent after they got into the cab.

"We gon forever stay-" Donghyuck couldn't help but smile as Mark clasped on to his shirt and intertwined their fingers.

“Ya smell good. Hmmm. Will ya get this smell for me too?” Mark questioned with a pout. Donghyuck facepalmed himself laughing at him.

The next few minutes were absolutely quiet with Mark snuggling into his shirt and playing with his hands until Mark cracked up again. "What country is nxt to USAe?" 

Donghyuck didn't hesitate to put something in Mark's mouth to shut him up, but the only he could find is, Mark's phone or water bottle and he knew both of them would possibly not go into his mouth. If Donghyuck struggled this much in English, he would've been fluent.

He sighed. "Don't know, maybe Canada?"

"Noiiii... It's USB." and then Mark burst into laughter. Donghyuck exhaled but ended up laughing with Mark, for just no reason.

Donghyuck swore he never struggled so much as he did for Mark to bring him out of the cab when they reached his house. He struggled a lot and finally managed to pull him out of the cab. Donghyuck cried a little inside reminding him of something, "I don't ask for suffering but I always do." 

“D'nt cheat on me, sunshine!” Mark sobbed and screamed. The cab driver giggled and drove off giving a second-hand embarrassment to Donghyuck.

"Let's get inside the house, Mark."

"noiiii... I'mgonnakillmYhorse." Mark said, his words tumbling from his mouth in a rush of barely distinguishable syllables. 

Donghyuck tried his best not to get distracted while Mark just hugged him tightly and kept on talking while he was opening the door.

"My love is cute, heh? Whhyyy? Cute choco ball...” Mark giggled softly and stuffed his head in Donghyuck's neck. 

"oh god, you are all over me."

"Cuz ya all ov'r my head.”

Donghyuck chucked him into the couch. "Let me get you something," he said.

"H-h-eyy. Where d'ya think ye going? Bi'ch stay!” Mark demanded as he pulled Donghyuck on the couch and hovered over him. Mark smiled innocently as he unbuttoned Donghyuck's shirt.

"Mark what the-" Donghyuck stopped midway realizing he rested on his slightly exposed chest, mumbling lyrics of a song that he didn't recognize. And slipped his hand around his waist he hugged him tightly while his other hand intertwined with Donghyuck. 

"Just don't run awAy from me. Pls, I'm scarf with'ut you. Hyuck, I really love you. Jusf a chance please?” Mark mumbled these words continuously for the next few minutes until he passed out.

Donghyuck exhaled. He wondered if Mark could hear his heartbeat or was conscious about how fast it was beating.

"Was he really scared?" Donghyuck didn't know. He was confused about himself. He needed time, but how long? He didn't know that either. 

“I fuc'ing love you, don't leave me...imma cry" he got startled with Mark's mumbling and carefully managed to free himself. Putting Mark properly on the couch, wrapping him into a blanket he walked outside closing the front door.

_____

Mark woke up with a wail reluctantly passing from his throat, he rubbed his eyes to clear his blurry vision finding himself sleeping on the couch. He was still intoxicated with the alcohol and became upset over Donghyuck not being there.

"Hyu'k d-did you really have to leave me like that?"

He silently sobbed biting onto his lower lip to bury the sounds threatening to rise. He couldn't discern why Donghyuck was behaving like this. Couldn't he understand his feelings? The immoral thoughts roamed around his brain sending jabbed pointed injuries to his heart. He felt himself hottening so he reached his hand towards the air conditioner remote and he kept the coldest temperature to cool his mind and body down.

The chills condensed his body and slowly, but surely his body started to shiver and ache with the loss of warmth and the alcohol wasn't helping either.

He clenched his fists again hoping to combat all the things doing to him, he bit his tongue in haste and pressed his lips into a thin line and later bit onto one of it causing a tiny drop of blood to float out and the blood coloring decorating his long-sleeved shirt in order to rub it off from the lip. He whimpered again as if there was nothing else more encouraging and making sense at a particular moment. 

His ringtone whizzed and he reached it hoping it would be Donghyuck but it only showed an unknown number. He wasn't definitely in the condition to talk to anybody but wanted the distraction to overpower his tipsy heartbroken stage.

He answered the call to hear a deep, raspy voice which was strangely and wildly familiar.

"Hello Markie" 

His thoughts froze and felt the shivers running down his whole body. The voice that recognizes is none other than his uncle. He could literally feel the wicked smirk on the other side of the screen, the smirk which was confident to ruin him.

"I just got to know, Johnny was saying you don't study business?"

Mark widended his eyes and caught his breath in exasperation at the sudden revelation of his brutal lie. The almost possibility of his uncle getting aware of his English subject which was now confirmed terrified him.

He spoke in an almost whisper, "I-its n-not t-true." 

"ANOTHER LIE! HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT TO LIE TO YOUR PARENTS, MARK?" He shouted.

Mark trembled in fear and the next words he heard made him lose his mind.

"You dont deserve them Mark, they trusted you. Not just them, you just don't deserve to be loved by anyone."

And that's it. Mark couldn't handle it any anymore and slammed his phone to the ground to break it into pieces. He held his heart with the left hand and felt the pressure rising and not attempting to calm down. He felt the lack of oxygen weakening his nerves and took his head in his hands and raised it. He thanked all the gods in heaven when he got the hold of the pills and grabbed a handful (he didn't expect one or two to calm him down) which almost came down to four or five tablets because of reckless dropping and immediately tugged them inside.He felt the frustration leave for a minute but it came almost before the immediate. 

The alcohol made him lose his mind. He could feel the tension around his organs, membrane getting colder each second, memory fading into emptiness, his cheeks and eyes reddening and the soft pair of crimson red lips turning dry and swollen with purple painting on them. His body was like he almost died and frankly, Mark wished that too. 

He couldn't think of any possibilities of being happy when he is alive. His condition, since the past two days was very worse and lost hope on everything. The days he spent with Donghyuck, the path they walked together was now covered with the snow, blocking the road, and at that moment, Mark didn't know any other destination to reach. It's always been him he wanted to spend his time with. 

He found solace in Donghyuck's presence and felt complete when he was with him. Mark wondered if Donghyuck would cry when Mark's gone. Would he miss him the way Mark will? Mark wished he did but he also wanted Donghyuck to not get hurt anyway. He is sometimes scared of how much he wants Donghyuck with him, but more than anything he wants him to be happy. He hoped that Donghyuck will not miss his presence, that his death won't cause any pain to him and maybe promote some kind of amnesia that would delete Mark's memories, or just extract the good and help him love someone else and also the bad so that he gets life lessons.

His mind revolved around several apologies and thankfulness to Taeyong whom he trusted the most and the unsaid words troubling him and reminding of how he was a bad patient, brother and friend for him. Mark was only a bad patient of Taeyong, the failed case. He thought of himself as a failure, a terrible failure for which anyone couldn't be proud of. Taeyong sacrificed his entire self for Mark but he couldn't be good for him. Taeyong was the one present with him when he needed someone, he became his shoulder when he needed it the most. Getting to Korea wasn't easy; being alone and psyche brimming with negative emotions consumed him and Taeyong made his best to assure to help him and got him to trust him, trust that humanity exists. It's funny how people like his uncle and Taeyong belonged to the same planet. One was a monster and the other, an angel.

Then Mark allowed himself to shed more tears and his heart ached which was imprisoned in his heavy chest. He pulled out his belt supporting the pants to his waist.

He beats himself, with the leather substance on his cold skin which traces marks and bruises on them. First on his wrists, elbow, and later his stomach and insides. He cries with an ailment, the cold only made it worse, but doesn't let out sounds. Despite all this, he still can't forget the things that haunt him. He was still afraid of how his parents would react to his fraudulent lies. 

The reasons to support his life were very minimal, or say nothing, to say the most. He disturbed all the things surrounding him, breaking the flower vase, targeting the wall opposite to him and destroyed everything reaching his hands. Basically, he made the house a total mess.

He reached the kitchen with heavyweight on his legs dragging those feel effortfully and moved his hand to the counter. His lips trembled with fear when he raised the knife, sharp-pointed and edged but dropped it on the counter again with the loss of courage. 

He repeated the same action what he did in the hall. The utensils were subjected to the ground, the preservative jars broke down to nothing.

He gritted his teeth in helplessness and picked up the knife hesitantly with his right hand and held the steel side to prick his palm. Sprouts of blood overflowed on the floor and he screamed in immense pain.

"AHH! Jesus Christ"

He took the knife in his shivering hands to cut his left wrist. He brought the tool closer to the wrist and managed to make a red mark and welcomed the blood coming out. 

_____

Donghyuck sat on the table having chips scrolling through his mobile and lazily waiting for his friend, Jeno who had worded him that he would visit Donghyuck. "Why?" Donghyuck would ask but Jeno being responsible, answers, "I am worried about you." 

Upon asking him the reason for his worry, Jeno asked him to shut up and gave a list of his negligence on many things like music class, exams and Mark. As much as he tried to hide his distress about getting in a quarrel with Mark for the nth time, his friends found it out giving an excuse to Donghyuck by saying, "You look down today… fought with Mark again?"

Donghyuck sighed thinking about the ridicule and hyperbole of his friends but he couldn't deny but feel upset about Mark. He just didn't want to think about anyone and anything right now and just enjoy his solitude. But at the same time, he was still skeptical about the situation about leaving Mark alone but he was conflicted before.

''Such an idiot." He scoffs seeing Mark's photo on his phone.

"Says the one who doesn't recognise himself as one"

Donghyuck flinched because of the sudden voice which he comprehends as Jeno's who claimed to be coming to his house minutes before. 

"Hi jeno"

Jeno seats himself beside his best friend and takes one of the chips from the packet to hide his smirk when his eyes fall on the phone that shows Mark's photo presumably what is Donghyuck looking at right at that moment, inflicting Donghyuck to turn his phone off and facing the screen down in embarrassment.

"Mind telling me what's wrong with you these days?" Jeno asserts.

"Hey.. It's nothing, really. You are just overthinking,'' Donghyuck tries to shrug off, " But jeno, don't you have the football practice now?"

"It's cancelled so don't worry about that. But tell me why did you leave the class. You left the session in such a hurry and haste, even Chenle got worried."

"Ah, don't mind that dumb head."

"Hyuck, if you don't say about it, I'll say it to your mother and then later you know what would happen." Jeno tries to threaten.

Heaving a sigh, Donghyuck starts off, "Okay, don't tell her. She will bury me alive if she gets to know I skipped the class." He completely faced jeno opposite to himself and looked at Jeno's expectant orifices.

"Okay, so Mark didn't turn up today right? So I called him and got to know that he was actually drunk so went to the bar to drop him home."

"So? Wait- wait.. Did - did he do something in his drunk state or what?" He panicked.

"Oh- no, No. It's nothing like that he just- like - you know, " he shakes his head multiple times trying the best words to explain to jeno. He continues, "he just- kept saying things all the way and I was stuck in that.." later realizing what he said he correcting himself, "not stuck, it just came onto the mind, I was not really thinking about it, I swear."

"What... Things?" Jeno asked still utterly confused.

"That only.. That he lov- no, that he likes me and all,'' Donghyuck says closing his eyes and opening them as it's the most normal thing he said but internally questioning himself why he said it at all.

Jeno breaks out into laughter, his eyes curving making them appear as if they disappeared and apologized when the other boy glared at him for doing so.

"I must have known.. Known that you are just worried about the fact that you love someone."

"Oh please Jeno, if you are going to talk about this rubbish, the exit is open for you." 

Jeno contains himself to manage a smile, "Okay I won't talk. But why are you behaving like this? Why are you being so difficult about this?"

Donghyuck denies, "it's not like that.. I am not up for those things.. And I don't want any of us to get hurt because of this 'love' thing,'' he raised his fingers and moving them while he was quoting 'love'.

Jeno holds his head in his hands, "See hyuck, everything doesn't end up badly.. Jaemin and I Are happy, aren't we?" Donghyuck nods in understanding that encourages jeno to continue, "And it's really bad that you refuse to even think about it. You are literally playing with his feelings by showing your concern towards him.. You are... You are giving him hope that you will accept him one day.. On the other hand, you are just sitting here denying your feelings for him. We said you like zillion times that you must talk to him about it but you are never bothered. Just imagine, we all understand your subtle ways indicating your love for Mark Hyung and we thought you both will get together. Just think how many times this feeling could have revolved around him? That he hoped that you will reciprocate his feelings one day."

Donghyuck became still at jeno's words. He couldn't debate jeno upon this because he knew he wasn't wrong. Mark was always expectant towards him despite having a nil chance that Donghyuck would accept him but never has he ever forced him to accept him. Of course, there were repeated attempts of flirtations proposed towards him and but mark never forced him, he followed his pace and never made him uncomfortable too. He knew somewhere in the corner of his heart that maybe, just maybe he loved Mark, but he, like before, like usual, like always let the denial overrule the affection possessed. He was mad at himself for this and he knows Mark would be mad at him too, because of the turmoil in the morning. 

He knows the reason Mark was upset with him. Mark wouldn't obviously prefer his lover to be sympathetic towards him or to treat him differently. Mark was subdued to inferiority and a relationship (may it be anything) wouldn't work if both the partners weren't at the same court, or else it becomes one-sided, and well, Mark loved him so everything makes sense. Mark might have felt that Donghyuck could have been outdoing him. He didn't want Donghyuck to care about him because he was weak or has anxiety. He didn't want the disorder to overpower their relationship.

Donghyuck was brought back to the world when jeno spoke again, "Once, try to put yourself in Hyung's position. Try to understand him, don't you think he deserves to be considered too.. It's just not you, Hyuck. Give him a chance once.."

Donghyuck closes and feels Jeno's cold hand against his warm ones and Donghyuck squeezes his hand for comfort blaming the distress his brain is going through, for which his best friend doesn't complain to.

"I promise you, hyuck. I will support your decision, but once put your hand on your heart and think. But, but don't lie to yourself."

Donghyuck tightens his grip on Jeno's hand and wondered about how jeno was aware of all this when he wasn't there every time his heart fluttered, face flushed when Mark complimented him, when he felt butterflies the first time Mark hugged him or when he proposed him to stay forever with him.

Going with the pace, Donghyuck lowered his eyelids to close them tightly but gradually relaxed when Mark's words echoed in his ears loud and pointed enough to reach every organ, every cell and every nerve to tease him.

'When you do things with love, you feel it. Give me a kiss, I promise to give it back. I love someone else, now. There is an Ursa minor here too. You look beautiful when you smile, Hyuck. I'll be there, love. Stay with me forever. Wow, your voice sounds so good, it's very sweet. Whoa, you cook so well. At least I got you to hug me. Thank you for taking care of me. You must call me Hyung because I'm elder than you. Seriously, you never pay the bill, I'm fed up of you. You are so funny I swear-'

"I love him"

Donghyuck opened his eyes to observe that the surroundings are very silent, very much opposite to the tangle in his body, specifically his heart. The same heart yearning for Mark's immediate presence and hoping that Mark will calm him down when he apologizes for realizing his feelings very late and just wants to be held in Mark's arms for now and eternity.

He faced jeno who was smiling widely in satisfaction but Donghyuck gripped his hand tighter, tightest with all the strength present inside as he was still feeling a bit uneasy.

He spoke out, lighter than before, he felt like his throat practically parched with discomfort, "I love him, but-" he coughed and broke out "but that m-moron, he-" he eyed in Jeno's eye directly, "he just said I didn't care about him, how could he? Doesn't he know?" Recalling the fight.

Jeno chuckled at his behaviour and raised his left hand to pinch his right cheek and Donghyuck realized that he was, in fact, holding jeno's hand so he retracts his hand and mutters a sorry and received an affirmative nod from his friend.

Jeno after a complete minute of silence spoke again, "Mark Hyung definitely deserves to hear this."

Donghyuck smiles in disbelief, "yeah he really does."

"Especially the moron part."

Both the boys broke into fits of laughter again and Donghyuck felt like a heavy mountain leave his chest. 

Jeno said, "It's funny how you are both obvious and oblivious about being in love with Mark Hyung."

Donghyuck again smiles in defeat. He knows jeno is absolutely true in this. 

"You should really realise that you are an idiot." Jeno dramatically says.

"Yeah, I know"

"Thank God!" and it wasn't late when he received a slap on his shoulder. 

After chatting for ten more minutes jeno excused himself to get back home as quickly as possible which would probably prevent his mother from scolding him for getting too late. Donghyuck hugged him goodbye and cleaned the table.

_____

Donghyuck dialled the same number more than ten times on his phone only to receive the same thing.

'The number you are trying to reach is currently switched off.'

He exhaled heavily and frowned. He let out, "What the heck is he doing? Is he still sleeping? Idiot. First of all, he is dru- wait!" he panicked suddenly, "what is he doing to himself? Oh my God, this kid, god save him."

Not having the remotest idea of what Mark is doing right now, how is he right now, bothered Donghyuck. His legs reached the pedals of his bicycle to drive faster and his breath became louder.

He ran immediately as he reached Mark's house.

There was a clicking of the keys on the doorknob which Donghyuck collected from under the foot mat outside the house. He opened the door to see the living room in a mess with all the things displaced from where they have to be. 

He mentally cursed Mark for creating an awful mess in the house. He whispered to himself angrily, "Where is he?"

Donghyuck swore he would scold Mark about this but stopped his track when he saw bloodstains colouring the white tiles. Nervousness was spread all over his face and he was sweating even in the cold.

"M-Mark?" he screamed.

He dragged those feet around the house and made his way to the kitchen to see all the utensils on the floor and Mark sitting down with a knife in his bloody hand which was cutting down the other one.

He ran immediately to reach out to his place and didn't hesitate to take the knife away from Mark's shivering weak fingers.

Mark was shocked to see Donghyuck before him with panic and terror in his eyes. He tried to take over the knife once again but the attempts were futile as Donghyuck threw it away.

Donghyuck screamed in fear, "What the fuck is this? What are you doing?"

Mark raised his eyebrows and answered in his highest possible voice collecting all his energy, "get away from here."

"NO!! WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO?" 

Mark was preparing to answer but was halted when he felt tight arms around his neck. He tried to let go by pushing him away, his elbows moving to the side but Donghyuck pulled him tightly.

Slowly Mark felt dissolving in his arms as Donghyuck locked him in the hug and he feels folding himself on Donghyuck's lap muttering quiet sobs. Donghyuck held him very tightly, tightest than ever before. 

Donghyuck hissed in discomfort at the words coming out from Mark's words.

"H-he will say-, " Mark sniffs, "he is coming.. Save me. He will say to everybody, " His break out between sobs and sounds like a child, voice in a higher pitch than usual. Donghyuck felt the sharp jabbed words coming threw his throat like icicles blocking the sound. The next thing he knew, he was crying too. He felt the regret of leaving Mark alone slicing onto him.

His throat was dry and made his best effort to speak out, "Just take a breath love, " and drew circles on his back, very irregular, uncertain and jumbled, unlike the straight lines formed on Mark's forehead and later felt Mark calming down letting out silent sniffs. He bent his head down and buried it in the neck of Mark. The muffling sounds never took a chance to stop for the next five minutes.

Donghyuck held Mark's face and Mark felt the warmth of his hands melting over his cold face and Donghyuck spoke out with a difficult voice, "Why are you doing this? Please talk to me, Mark."

Mark couldn't control his tears anymore and stood up hastily which made Donghyuck frown out of irritation, helplessness and defeat. Donghyuck wipes his tears away and takes Mark to his room supporting his waist which Mark hesitantly accepts.

As they reach the washroom, Mark tries to free himself from his grip, "Please, I want to go alone inside." Donghyuck sighs in disbelief and does as he is said. Donghyuck warns, "you must be out in two minutes or else I'm calling doctor."

Mark shakes his head in haste and moves inside to rinse his face with the cold water on his already cold skin. His eyes met his image in the mirror with the dark circles below his eyes, cheeks swollen and his body aching with the injuries he caused to himself. He cried again silently and hoped that the tap sound would be louder than his own. 

He couldn't get over the fact that he didn't deserve to be loved by anyone. Donghyuck never loved him and he never would. He closed his eyes to see the image of his uncle in his mind and voyaging the thoughts around the same thing again. 

He was alarmed by the loud banging on the door and voice he recognizes as Donghyuck's.

"MARK GET OUT IMMEDIATELY, I SWEAR THIS MOTHER-"

Donghyuck stopped his words when he saw Mark coming out of the washroom and he again held his shoulder and brought him to the bed and sat there. 

Donghyuck borrowed the first aid kit from the nightstand drawer and picked cotton with disinfectant and pressed the side of his forehead. Mark left a hiss from the lips and went silent when Donghyuck held his right hand carefully not to hurt the region on his bloody palm. 

He later removed his shirt carefully and sighed in worry to see so many injuries and said while applying the ointment, "Stop moving, you jerk. I will give you another lose shirt later, okay. And I wouldn't want you to catch a cold all night too. Listen to me for once." Donghyuck tried his best not to cry by scolding him, because he didn't want to get weak in front of Mark because that way, Mark Would feel more defeated, but he couldn't help stop himself. 

Mark loosened up with the care Donghyuck showed to him and allowed him to help him in putting the shirt on his body. Later, Donghyuck softened his gaze on Mark and cupped his face to touch their foreheads together and felt Mark tearfully glancing straight into his own eyes. Donghyuck spoke out and cried involuntarily, "pl-please don't do T-that ag-again. Pl-please trusts me, Mark. You seriously s-scared me soo much. D-do you think this is a j-joke?"

Donghyuck pulled away to wipe his unstoppable tears and got his phone to hand and scrolled making Mark wonder if his feed was more important than Mark right now. But later Donghyuck turned the screen to face Mark which showed Mark's photo with a book and pen in his hand. 

Donghyuck said with courage and dominance in his tone, "it's not about the past that defines you mark lee. This photo, this is what you are, a writer and that's what you are meant to be and nothing can ruin you. So, you aren't going to do this again, you don't get to decide whether you can do this to yourself."

Mark was stunned and felt the ephemeral satisfaction flow in his heart and at that moment Mark knew he felt for the younger more.

Setting the sheets was a quite difficult job for Donghyuck but he was going to do it for his love. He takes his father's permission for staying the night at Mark's and shakes his head in annoyance when Mark wasn't sleeping. He closed his eyes and open at next instinct, therefore Donghyuck shifted Mark's head on his lap and ruffled his hair, and whispered songs in his ear while messaging Taeyong to inform about the condition. Mark allowed the soothing voice to fill his ears and closed his eyes calmly without blinking. 

When Donghyuck freed himself to move to the kitchen to clean the mess, he stopped his track sensing a cold hand grabbing his wrist. 

Mark muttered in a low voice and eyes half open, "Stay," stay with me now, don't leave me anytime, stay with me in all ups and downs, stay with me always and forever. 

"You really thought I was going to leave you like this? I'll be there down. Be right back."

"Please."

"Okay, fine."

He lied down next to Mark and held his hand assuring that he wouldn't leave. He felt Mark moving in discomfort so he changed his position and pillowed his hands for Mark to keep his head down. 

He said softly, "Lean on me," lean on me for all the things that bother you, I'll take care of you for now and forever. 

And so did Mark.

He kept his head closer to his chest and snuggled into his neck while Donghyuck moved closer touching their bodies and facing opposite to each other, faces very close, and felt Mark's hand on his waist in a very tight yet gentle hold, too afraid to let go. 

_____

The ferocious storm the prior night turned Mark's room freezing cold, sending shivers to Donghyuck's warm skin, waking him up. He licked his chapped lips tiredly. The previous day was one of the most terrible ones he had ever confronted.

He knew life was full of surprises, but, for the love of God, this was not what he was expecting. Who might've foreseen that he would be in such a situation of witnessing his own best friend whom he happened to have feelings on was killing himself. 

Added to this, all the happenings disturbed him so much that he couldn't even take a nap in peace. What if Mark just woke up in the middle of the night and harmed himself again? 

Mark himself had a disastrous sleep cycle. He either clasped onto him unexpectedly or moved continuously. Donghyuck felt so bad watching him go through all this. He wondered what he dreams about that even those dreams didn't give him the peace he deserves. 

Mark would wake up suddenly and see Donghyuck surfing through the phone and insist to take some rest, trust him, Donghyuck tried but he couldn't manage a nap for more than 20mins. What Mark did the last evening traumatized him for life. Half dozed, he would pat Mark delicately or play with his hair to get him back to sleep.

Donghyuck saw the dawn approaching and glanced at Mark who looked absolutely relaxed. His hand unconsciously reached his face and caressed it softly.

What if Donghyuck didn't turn up on the right time to save him? What if all he saw was Mark's body? Lifeless and pale. Would he be so strong to take him into his hands? The thought that Mark didn't turn up to the University made him messed up, the realization that he will no longer see him anywhere would make him insane. 

Fear streamed down his body, he gulped his tears, Mark's loose t-shirt gave the view of the bruises he made on himself and were gleaming in the daylight. He wondered how much Mark must've gone through that he thought he didn't have any choice other than choosing death. 

Donghyuck can't take risks from now on. He was ready to stay with him in dark and light, good and bad, life and death. He wanted him to be this relaxed while he was awake too. He pecked his nose softly and got up when Mark moved towards the other side of the bed. 

At least this terrible night passed. 

_____

When he walked downstairs, Donghyuck heard clattering from the kitchen and looked at Taeyong who was cleaning the mess Mark made.

“Good morning, hyung.” he greeted him. Taeyong looked back at him and gave him a tiny smile. Donghyuck could see the smile was so fake. He was miserable and honestly Donghyuck too. No one was happy, it felt as if darkness had latched on to their surroundings.

Donghyuck sat with him to help.

“How's Mark?” 

Donghyuck was so focused on his thoughts that he didn't hear him. 

“Hmm?” he responded after Taeyong asked him again.

“I can't say…” he cleared his throat. “And those wounds he made on himself look horrible… and scary.” 

Taeyong's shoulders dropped.

“How would you deal with him?” Donghyuck questioned. 

Taeyong breathed out heavily. “I would talk to him, that's all I can do. Tell him he's all strong and build confidence in himself. I can give him all the treatments necessary, but I can't change the way he chooses to think right?” 

Donghyuck nodded. “Would it be okay if I stay?” Donghyuck volunteered. He had to beg his mom for permission, that's It and he could do at least that save Mark.

“Thanks, Donghyuck,” Taeyong said. Taeyong was so close to Mark that he is just like his family and Donghyuck was aware of this.  
“For both, staying up for him and staying here… you are a great help.”

Donghyuck smiled. “I can't just leave him alone. He means a lot to me too. It's just so sad that I came here to tell him about my feelings but things just turned out to be the worst way possible.” 

“You saved him Donghyuck. And I'm sure when you tell him your feelings, that will be one of his reasons to be happy. Love cures pain, trust me.” 

Taeyong and Donghyuck shook their heads looking at the broken phone of Mark looking at the completely destroyed and damaged SIM card. They sighed after setting back the house properly.

After Taeyong left to freshen up, Donghyuck texted Chenle to fetch him his clothes to stay here while he's on the way to his Basketball practice. Chenle wiggled his eyebrows and smirked at Donghyuck and left with no further conversation. 

“What kind of idiot is he?” Donghyuck asked himself, utterly confused. 

After completing his daily routine, Donghyuck decided to wear one of Mark's hoodies since the weather got too cold since last night and the t-shirts Chenle brought are not going to withstand it and later calmed his stomach with cereal.

Walking upstairs he saw Mark trying to get up from his bed and failing miserably. His eyes widened and ran towards him, helping him sit on the bed again.

“I'm so sorry Donghyuck.”

“Mark please call me if you need anything.” Donghyuck pleaded, giving no attention to Mark and filled a glass of water. “I'm here to help you, okay?” he assured him, handing him the glass.

Mark was now conscious of everything. He felt those belt wounds on his hand and back, the cut on his wrist, everything was hurting so bad. Survival was just for the body, emotionally he was already lifeless. 

“How are you feeling?” Donghyuck asked softly crouching on the ground. Mark just wanted to apologize to him hundreds of times and yet it would be not enough.

Mark suddenly felt his head throbbing and everything he could see was glitching. He held his head tightly and groaned. 

“Take a shower, Mark,” Taeyong announced softly, interrupting the silence in the room causing Donghyuck to get startled. 

Mark nodded quietly and Donghyuck helped him to get up. 

“Mind if I join?” Donghyuck asked, he realized how wrong it sounded and immediately added, “I mean to help you with your bandages.” Mark said a no with his head and walked inside. Taeyong chuckled slightly prompting Donghyuck to glare at him. 

Later Donghyuck helped Mark to wear his shirt and helped him to sit on the couch. He prepared omelet, bananas, and green tea for him. 

Mark felt like he was gaining his strength slowly. Food calmed his internal organization, he was not going to deny it. 

Taeyong took a seat in front of him and Mark knew where this was going. “Mark, what happened?” he questioned.

He recalled the events of last night vaguely. But he remembered the voice, the voice of the monster. His uncle was the sole reason for his misery. Mark felt so vulnerable and so weak that he would accept the torture again if his Uncle was here.

“He called. Saying that he knows about my course, said he will tell my parents about this,” he said, his voice sounded so light it came out like a whisper.

That wasn't the only thing that disturbed Mark, he just didn't find reasons to stay alive, education no longer gave him the satisfaction, although he was a gem of a student, every time he opened his book, it reminded how much of a cheat he was. Maybe what his uncle was doing to him was something he deserves. 

He felt soft cold hands against his face wiping the tears and caressing him softly. Taeyong breathed out.

“I think I am losing my last bit of sanity I have. Maybe I deserve all this.”

“Listen to me. Mark, you are like my boy, my younger brother, look at me not like your Doctor but as your friend and brother. I want you to know that even if the world would turn away from you, I would never. And remember Dogs that barks, never bites. That dog is threatening the weak inside you because he knows that's your weakness. Always remember suicide is for the powerless and you are strong. Life is like a battlefield, you're in the war zone, the ones who don't know how to fight and are scared to fight dies first. When your life has given you another chance, decide it yourself on which side you want to be, the strong or the weak.” He felt a pair of hands against his cheeks. 

“Mark, you are one of the happiest reasons for my life. I can't lose you. These words need time to sink in, but remember your existence matters...a lot.” Taeyong said, giving him a warm hug and leaving a soft kiss on his forehead. Mark felt a wave of mother's love in his kiss and warmth of a father's protection in his hug, which he needed the most and meant a lot. 

Clearing his throat, Taeyong said, “The sad news is, Donghyuck will be staying, call me up if he's bothering you, we will leave him in the police station.”

Mark looked up at Taeyong and chuckled quietly while Donghyuck widened his eyes. Why was he included in this? 

After Mark was given his medications and dressing his wounds Taeyong left the house. He wanted to stay for him, but his presence was mandatory at the hospital. 

Donghyuck was worried to death on how to start a conversation with Mark. After a while of awkward silence, Mark broke the silence.

“You don't need to stay, Donghyuck,” he said. He had enough of hurting people around him. Perhaps this is what his uncle meant when he said he isn't fit to be loved, when you hurt people, you deserve to be hurt. 

It seemed legitimate to him

Mark just wished to disappear Donghyuck from here. Looking at him, Mark didn't feel the love he used to, instead, he felt the guilt. 

“You don't need to sacrifice your weekend wasting it for me…it's not like I matter.” he smiled weakly. 

Donghyuck couldn't even understand whatsoever Mark was trying to utter. 

“You just gave up a whole night's sleep just-” 

Donghyuck sat on the ground and held Mark's hands and interrupted him, “Be quiet Mark lee. Stop being so concerned about me. You need to get well soon first.” 

Mark's eyes were soon filled with tears again. “Why?” 

“What do you mean why? Why not?” 

“Why should you sacrifice? What am I to you? I can see I'm clearly hurting you-” 

“Stop thinking like this, Mark,” Donghyuck begged. He was equally stressed with his eyes soon filling with tears. “You're not hurting me.”

“Why Donghyuck? Why are you the one always? Why did you save me yesterday? My life was not supposed to give me a chance. Do you see all this? Do you see me? I don't deserve you to do this for me, for a person so messed up and ugly like me. I can't suffer anymore like this, there is no reason for me to be alive.”

Donghyuck wiped his tears with his hoodie. “Stop crying…please? For me.”

Mark can't. He is struggling to control too, but he just can't. Donghyuck's hands on his cheek brought him back to reality. 

“You and every pain you went through is a mark of a lesson in your life. If you see yourself as charcoal, I see this as the diamond which knows to deal with stress exceptionally well.”

“Mark lee, do you even know that I am the one who needs to apologize? I know all this is so messed up right now, but after I left you, realizations hit me like lightning. I was an idiot not to acknowledge my feelings for you. This should answer all your questions.”

“Mark, you are not alone as long as you have me. When you find no reason to be alive, remember, I saved you for my selfish reasons. You have managed to be a part of me, tell me who is going to love and wait for me as much as you did? Handle me better than you? but you did, you showed me this happiness of how love tastes like, you made everything beautiful when I am with you, I need you in every second of my life.” Donghyuck let out, intertwining their hands, while his eyes filled with tears.

“This completes me, Mark. You're my very first and last, do you even know how much it hurts me as well? You need to stay alive, stay with me always, will you?”

“So, Mark lee.” he sniffed. “Will you be my boyfriend? And keep the magic alive inside me just by staying alive? See, I like those who are strong, so, will you stay strong and explore life with me?”

Mark was at a loss of words. Was he dreaming? The Lee Donghyuck he loved confessing to him? With tears? For him? Is this how good things feel like? 

“Stay with me forever, love. Please.” Mark's breathing hitched. His heart skipped a beat hearing him call him love. 

Mark smiled. A smile, so wide, which he never experienced. The moment things around him, things in the past, things he was going through, everything paused. 

“Yes. Yes. Donghyuck, yes.” Mark said cupping his face wiping his tears. He looked at his beautiful face before asking him about something. 

“Can I get a hug?” 

Donghyuck didn't hesitate to hug him. 

“I can't believe this,” Mark said, connecting their foreheads. 

“If you still think this is all sympathy or whatever you call it, slap me,” Donghyuck said, challenging Mark not expecting him to seriously slap him. 

“ouch! Dude, what the heck?” Donghyuck exclaimed touching the cheek where Mark slapped him. “I don't clean houses for everyone.”

Mark laughed his heart out with satisfaction. This is just so nice. Mark sighed and looked at him. “Can I hug you again?”

Donghyuck's smile became wide and he nodded. “ 'Course you can, I'm all yours, today, tomorrow-”

Mark chuckled and hugged Donghyuck tightly. “Thanks a lot, Donghyuck.” 

“I love you, Mark lee.” Mark gripped onto Donghyuck shirt tightly, as he felt his heart feeling complete and felt the rush of positively the 3 words radiated. 

“Also, I need to give credits to my Instagram quotes for that diamond and charcoal reference,” Donghyuck said with a very awkward expression which made Mark burst out laughing. 

_____

Both of them spend time on each other's embrace. When Donghyuck still sensed the unmotivated mood of Mark, “Do you want to go out?” he asked.

“Where?”

“Anywhere. Shopping or a little walk or maybe lunch?” Donghyuck replied. “Or you want to get a new phone?”

Mark suddenly remembered how he smashed his phone. “If yes, I'm getting a new one too since I had been using it for more than a year. Which one do you plan on getting?”

“I don't know, Samsung? Donghyuck, I'm not used to iPhones.” Mark raised his voice when Donghyuck's face suddenly turned empty when he said Samsung.

“Fine. let's match.” 

Of course, Mark didn't expect Donghyuck to be so boyfriend, he thought him to be a person who can never be romantic, nevertheless, he was excited to see these sides of him, once again, Donghyuck didn't fail to surprise him. 

Mark was so much influenced by Donghyuck that he doesn't even bother about the world. After they spent time shopping together, they stopped at the bus stop. 

“Did you think about our date or something?” Donghyuck asked as they sat near the bus stand while he was busy setting things on his new phone. 

“No? What did you think?”

“Anything you would like to.” 

“Lunch?” 

Donghyuck nodded and both of them enjoyed a hearty meal. Coming out of the restaurant, they went shopping for snacks to get them through today and tomorrow. 

“That was exhausting,” Mark said after they reached home. “But it was a lot of fun too.”

“Okay, common,” Donghyuck said, shaking Mark to get up earning a NO from him. “Let's do some small exercises and meditation.”

Mark sat up straight on the couch and looked at him. “What are you talking about? And since when are you interested in all this?”

“Because of you, Taeyong Hyung said meditation and small exercises help you calm your mind. And I need them too, so let's do it together.” Donghyuck said, dragging Mark out to the garden. They set the mats and water bottles. 

Honestly, Mark didn't know how much this would work in calming minds, but he knew as long as Donghyuck was here, it would be fun. As expected, half the time breathing exercises went on bursting out into tiny giggles and small exercises Donghyuck ended up falling on the floor on purpose to make it entertaining. Donghyuck's funny exercises to make your day? Free therapy.

_____

Mark yawned and leaned back on the couch closing his book after completing his work for the University. Donghyuck was so focused on the online lesson that he didn't even notice that it was already dark. He looked back at Mark who was already looking at him, he smiled. Taking his earphones off, he moved towards hugging him tightly, that's exactly what Mark wanted. “Are you hungry?”

Mark hummed softly playing with Donghyuck's hair. They stayed in the same position for another minute, enjoying the comfortable silence and each other's warmth. “I'll prepare something,” Donghyuck said, breaking away from the hug. 

“Can I help you?” Mark asked when Donghyuck was busy scanning the ingredients thinking about what to make. “Hmm. Wash and cut these vegetables.” 

In the next few minutes, Donghyuck was busy preparing other things while Mark was having crises with cutting the vegetables.

“Yeah, keep going. This looks very irregular in shape, why don't you try again?” Donghyuck said nodding his head, impatiently. Mark giggled feeling embarrassed. He tried getting all of them in proper shape until Donghyuck pushed him. 

“You know what?” he said, grabbing the knife from him. “Try getting them in proper shape next time, I'll call you an hour before I start cooking,” he said, cutting them quickly. 

After the meal, both of them rested on the mattress just talking. When Donghyuck asked Mark about the various books he read, the older was lost in sharing many masterpieces he read. The conversations went on with talking about movies and dramas. 

“Fantasy sometimes feels so unrealistic-,” Donghyuck said.

“Well, that's the reason it's called fantasy Donghyuck.” 

“Yeah I know, let me complete, and I believe our relationship is fantasy-like.” Donghyuck paused suddenly and shivered with the sudden cold wind that hit his face.

“Come here.” Mark opened his arms calling him for a hug. 

“You're so warm, I love it,” Donghyuck replied, making Mark blush. Donghyuck further snuggled into him inhaling his scent. 

“Why do you smell like milk?”

“Like what?”

“Like Milk. Are you a little baby?” Donghyuck asked, smelling his cheek with a grin. 

“Dude, you're weird-” Mark abruptly stopped talking when he felt Donghyuck's lips trailing down his cheek kissing his jawline. 

Suddenly, it's no more the funny and chill atmosphere, the room was filled with sudden tension in just seconds and heat rising from Mark's stomach to his chest making his heart pound. 

Donghyuck connected their foreheads making them close their eyes. A smile grew on Marks's face as he slowly pecked Donghyuck's little nose. Donghyuck felt the vehement emotion when his fingers curled against his. 

"Kiss me, Mark," Donghyuck confessed. He was himself surprised at what made him say this, regardless he wasn't in a situation to take these utterances back. 

Mark grinned. Those words made Mark's heart skip a beat. That instant, he swore that he never saw someone so ethereal as Donghyuck.  
Donghyuck closed his eyes, clenching his fists as nervousness built inside him. He shouldn't have said this. Why was he nervous?

He parted his lips involuntarily as he felt Mark's profile getting closer and closer to him. Mark leaned over his face, brushing his lips with his before claiming them tenderly yet dominantly. Donghyuck felt his heart thumping at a faster speed as an unfamiliar feeling ran down his stomach, silencing all his thoughts. 

Mark wasn't sure if this was actually happening, it felt like a dream, Donghyuck confessing his love and for a kiss was beyond good things that have ever happened to him on the same day. The younger's heavy breathing against his felt warm and his hypnotic scent manipulating his senses, relaxed him. 

Before Donghyuck knew, Mark slipped his hands under his shirt crashing their bodies together, causing Donghyuck to let out a gasp. Breaking the kiss, Mark giggled with satisfaction.

Mark deepened the kiss with more intensity this time as his hands tickled Donghyuck's tiny waist while Donghyuck's hands traveled to his hair, messing it up. 

The feeling of Mark's frame against him and his hands wandering around his waist felt nearly forbidden. It felt as the time had stopped, and Mark wanted to let this magic dwell between them forever. Dripping on to this love, Donghyuck concentrated on the euphoric feeling of his very first kiss ignoring everything. This was so addictive that it didn't seem bad to want more. 

_____

Mark found solace in Donghyuck's chest, enjoying his favorite ice cream while Donghyuck was busy studying his notes and Mark was busy on his phone going through the messages and funny texts Seulgi had sent him. He chuckled quietly causing Donghyuck to get diverted.

He endured it a few times until he had enough. "Stop. You're moving the bed. It's distracting me, Mark." 

Mark apologized and shoved his phone in front of Donghyuck's face. "Look, it's seriously funny." he let out in-between his giggles. 

Donghyuck's irritation reached another peak looking at the ID. He returned back his phone, adding a, "I can't believe I got distracted for this stupid thing. It's just so lame. Grow up, Mark." 

This was not what Mark expected, his smile dropped. 

"You don't need to be so rude, clearly you are the one acting like a little kid," Mark said, distancing himself from him.

"Your ex clearly made me irritated, now you are insulting me for the lame jokes she sent you? I can't believe I'm saying this, but Jeno has a better sense of humor." Donghyuck rolled his eyes. 

Now Mark understood why he was being so salty. Donghyuck's jealousy was so obvious. "Ugh! Stop calling her my ex, she's just my friend." he sighed looking at him. 

"Calling her your friend won't change the fact that she's your Ex. And yeah, 'Happiness comes in waves and you are one of them' is such a friendly post to send." Donghyuck argued. 

"Donghyuck-"

"I need to study, Mark," Donghyuck said, shutting off Mark and getting back to his notes. This was totally ridiculous, that girl living overseas is still bothering him so much that he can't even focus now. Mark pouted and didn't get to talk to him further.

It wasn't like Mark didn't notice how Donghyuck was peeking into his phone which made him smile wider. Donghyuck felt the embarrassment when his final attempt went in vain when Mark actually caught him. Mark chuckled and turned towards Donghyuck, taking away his phone and books. 

"Wha-"

"Can we talk?" he begged softly slowly hovering over the younger.

"Y-yes." Donghyuck stammered. 

"FYI: Seulgi is my friend," Mark whispered leaning towards his face. "That post was a mistake. She was about to send that to her girlfriend and not me. I guarantee she will never come between us."

More than his explanation, Donghyuck was much interested in how beautiful Mark actually looked. His doe eyes staring at him innocently wanting him to stop being annoyed by her. 

"And do you really think it matters to me who has a better sense of humor? No. So...stop getting jealous." 

Mark leaned deeper leaving a soft peck on his lips and looked back at Donghyuck adjusting his bangs which were on his forehead. 

“You're so beautiful.” Donghyuck unconsciously said caressing Mark's cheek. Mark burst out into tiny giggles.

“HmHm?” he hummed softly and leaned forward connecting their foreheads. “And you look very adorable in my shirt.”

Donghyuck laughed and pulled Mark slowly into a warm embrace. Mark soon snuggled into his neck and felt a small peck on his forehead followed by warm covers over their bodies.

______

“Good morning, love.” 

That's it. Mark's morning was already made even before it started. Mark moved towards the younger one letting himself snuggle into him while Donghyuck softly caressed his waist. 

“Slept well?” Mark asked.

“Very very well,” Donghyuck replied.  
The next few minutes both of them were quiet. Donghyuck was just waiting for Mark to say something while Mark was just lost in his own thoughts. 

“They say...” he began. Donghyuck shifted to a comfortable position playing with Mark's fingers. “Your whole life flashes the moment you're dying.” 

Donghyuck gripped onto Mark's shirt. “Mark…” 

“Could you believe so much happened just in a day.” he chuckled. “And honestly I feel happy and light having you by my side. It's so new for me to smile so effortlessly. And yesterday was one of the best days I have ever spent. I'll always be grateful for you.”

Donghyuck smiled. He leaned forward and connected their profiles and closed their eyes, he pulled Mark closer to him and they stayed in that position. Donghyuck brushed the older's nose with his, making him giggle shyly.

"I need to take a shower," Mark whispered softly.

"Yeah, we need to."

"Uhh, W-we?" 

"Yeah? I need to shower too. I'll go first." 

Mark scoffed. "I thought it escalated quickly. But you're taking the stairs." Mark said with a chuckle soon earning a hit from Donghyuck.

"And no, I'm going first," Mark added. 

Donghyuck raised an eyebrow. “You-” 

Mark sulked as he leaned forward making Donghyuck lean back. “I'm going first,” he added as Donghyuck shut his eyes expecting something else to happen.

Mark chuckled and ran towards the bathroom. 

He laughed loudly and closed the door behind.

Donghyuck frowned as he realized he was tricked. “Hey! This is cheating!” 

“I didn't lock the door, you can come in, maybe help me with the bandages,” Mark screamed from the bathroom making Donghyuck blushed.

"Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to come with me," Mark said after Donghyuck helped him to wear his shirt and dress his wounds. 

"Yeah. Of course. But before that-" Donghyuck paused holding on a chuckle. "What were you doing for 2 hours in the bathroom? Does your bathroom have a secret passage? Wait, is it a ministry of magic? You're a wizard Mark!”

Mark cleared his throat as Donghyuck burst into laughter. "We need to go, get ready, why don't you get ready?" 

"Don't worry I don't take 2 hours." 

_____

"Mark we could've done this after breakfast. I'm hungry. Where are we even going?" Mark dragged Donghyuck out of his house immediately after he was done with his daily routine not telling him where they were going. 

"Donghyuck, please shut up." 

"I've been silent since the last 15mins and you didn't even-" Donghyuck became silent when he looked at the place where Mark brought him. "Church?" 

"I used to come here every Sunday, but I couldn't since the last few months." Mark smiled warmly intertwining his fingers with Donghyuck. "This place helps me to have faith in my life when I missed this faith, you stood by my side. I considered this meaningful and wanted to be here with you, with faith to stay longer with you." 

Donghyuck smiled and nodded. If this means a lot to Mark, it means a lot to him too. Although Donghyuck didn't completely believe in this, he believes them if Mark does. 

Both of them walked inside, he saw Mark's face, his eyes closed, his lips moving in an inaudible prayer, looking at him, his lips curved into a smile. He repeated the same thing as Mark did and prayed only one thing. 

" Never let his beautiful smile off his face, please let all his prayers come true. "

Mark sighed after coming outside. Donghyuck stopped him. "I know I can't take your pain away from you, but I want you to remember that I am going to hold you through it." 

Before Mark could say, Donghyuck stopped him. “Credits: My Instagram. But it's something I feel a lot for you.”

Mark laughed and hugged Donghyuck leaving a peck on his forehead. "Thanks for being here with me." 

"Anything for you if you stop thanking me for every little thing." 

They walked around for a few more minutes taking a few pictures and a lot of memorable moments. Mark then realized how it felt like to be happy with your whole heart. 

_____

After reaching home they enjoyed a hearty meal. 

The rest of the day went on with cuddles and movies with a lot of talking. Donghyuck realized telling him about his feelings was one of his best choices, things felt a lot free after expressing himself. Looking at Mark being so open and talking about various things also made him happy. 

And Mark couldn't ask for anything else, the last thing he wished was Donghyuck, he hoped this relationship stayed for a very long time and that Donghyuck would never leave him because of some problem he has.

"7 BOOKS?! NO WAY! I would rather watch movies. Books are boring either way…” Donghyuck rolled his eyes.

“What do you mean books are boring?” Mark snapped. “Books have so much information that one book can be made into 4 movies! And imagine those depicted in a movie, it would reach Oscars.” 

“It's the movies in the end anyway, see? Books take months to be completed and while you struggle with those fatass novels I would be watching the movies for the hundredth time!” 

“No Books!” 

“No movies!”

After an hour of argument and screaming over which was better in such a pointless argument, Mark let out a sigh. Donghyuck was still stating his stupid opinions. 

Mark pulled Donghyuck into his arms, back hugging him to shut him up. “Doesn't matter, who cares anyway,” he said, softly whispering into his ears. Donghyuck smiled and nodded looking up at Mark. 

Mark smiled, “But, everybody knows books are the best.” Donghyuck moved and opened his mouth to argue again. 

But before he could, Mark leaned over to peck his lips. “Seriously, love, stop,” he mumbled trailing his lips to his neck, hugging him further. Donghyuck felt as if his heart just paused for a moment. It's so scary the power Mark has over him.

_____

Donghyuck reached his house after saying bye and warning Mark to take care of himself properly. The thing Mark knew and he didn't was, Mark no more faked his emotions around Donghyuck. 

"Ow, you look terrible." his father said once he walked inside his house. "Didn't sleep well?”

“I did… but is it that obvious?”

"No. Your mom is too angry to notice," he said. "Did you have fun? How is Mark?" 

"Yes. Best ones I've ever had. Mark is fine, better than before at least." 

Donghyuck walked to his room after a long talk with his father. Not to mention glares from his mother every other minute warning him not to waste time. 

This feeling felt good. Maybe, falling in love wasn't a sin. His warm bed felt heaven. No matter how much he enjoyed anywhere, nothing feels like home. His eyes slowly closed as his mind remembered the instants he had with Mark. Holding hands, warm hugs, how much of a simple yet entertaining human he was from the inside. He was lucky to be able to see the genuine sides of him. And he already missed him. 

He jolted awake as the door slammed open. "Yah, Lee Donghyuck!" 

Here you go. When life gives you devils, they look like his best friends and Chenle.

He just needed one minute for his thoughts and this happens.

"The hell?" Donghyuck snapped.

"What? We had to see you? After all, Mr. Busy Lee never lifts his calls." Jaemin said, giving him a weird look. 

"How did you get in here?" Donghyuck asked. 

"With your Mom's permission?" 

"Using the stairs. Duh." 

Jeno and Jaemin together said. And that summaries their personalities. 

"That's really a very stupid question, Hyuck," Jeno said giving him the usual eye smile. 

"How does it feel to be back, Hyuck-ie?" Jaemin asked as he sat beside him. 

Jeno interrupted when Donghyuck opened his mouth to say something "He must be missing his boyfriend." 

"I want you both to get out." Donghyuck sighed. 

"Both of us know we can't do that. Oh, honey, I missed you." Jaemin said, hugging him tightly. Donghyuck squirmed under him with unease. This motherly behavior is what he dislikes very much.

"We're not leaving. Not until you tell us you and Mark are official. After all, I was the one who enlightened you." 

Yeah, Donghyuck can't forget that, Jeno's tutorial on how to realize you are in love. 

"Yeah, are you a thing now? He better not have rejected you or I've to break his bones." Jaemin asked with expectant eyes. 

Donghyuck sighed and informed them that they were finally together.  
It didn't take a second for the room to fill with coos and woos. Soon the couple was all him with hugs and tickling, teasing him until Donghyuck was exhausted. 

"Wow," Jaemin said after Donghyuck told him about the shopping and their other dates. 

"And tell us about the kiss?" Jeno asked suddenly with a smug face making Donghyuck choke on his spit. 

"The w-what? K-kiss? Dude, you went too far. We d-didn't-" Donghyuck wanted to laugh at this conversation but it turned too obvious and fake. 

"Oh please. Who are you trying to fool? Even Chenle won't fall for it. You can't hide from us." Jaemin said, nudging his elbow. 

Well yes, he can't. 

"True. And you stayed there for 2 days and 2 nights! As far as I know, that dude looks romantic." 

He is romantic too. Donghyuck's face flushed as he remembered the kiss. 

"Looks like it was too good." Jaemin teased. 

Clearing his throat, Donghyuck said, "It was nice. I mean, I don't know, but it felt good?"

"Awww," Jeno said. 

"Wow. That's fan......tastic!" Jaemin said in the weirdest way possible, making Donghyuck hide his face in the pillows. 

"Dude's really got a style huh?" Jeno said, wiggling his eyebrows. 

And about that, Donghyuck couldn't lie. The way Mark managed to make him flustered and all feel so many feelings at once, something only Mark could do. Donghyuck strongly disagreed with Mark calling him love but couldn't say no to it either, it was like a drug, very addictive to let go. 

The three of them took their books to at least pretend like they are studying, after having a whole day at Mark's house, his mom was sure going to ground him if he was doing bad in the exams. 

Deep down, he knew it too, how much ever he wanted Mark to be with him all the time, going beyond the limit always created problems and he was not ready to have problems with Mark. Tiredness took all over him after Jeno and Jaemin left. 

"Oh No." Donghyuck thought, hearing screams from downstairs after a few minutes. 

"You and Mark are official?" Chenle yelled.

"The hell are shouting? Mom will kill me." Donghyuck said, putting a hand over his mouth. 

Shoving his hand away Chenle exhaled, frustrated. "You didn't tell me? You're such a foul cockroach, Hyung!" 

"I'm not planning on telling anyone, Chenle-ya." 

"You just told Jeno and Jaemin Hyung." 

"They knew it before, I- it's not like I'm going to hide it from you." Donghyuck tried explaining. 

"Bla Bla. Excuses. I thought you were moving in with him, why did you even bother to show your face anyway?" 

"Shut your dirty mouth! This is my house and I'm not moving in with him," Donghyuck said, slapping his nape. "Keep your voice down, I'm your Hyung." 

"Hyung?" Chenle scoffed. "Look, I love you. A lot, but- You didn't even tell me you and Mark are a thing. I found it by myself, you untrustworthy secretive fox." 

"Tell me about it." 

"Mark's Instagram post says everything and so does Jeno and Jaemin Hyung giggles while leaving. I can't believe you went to church with him, you don't even pay attention to these things with us."  
Donghyuck shrugged and sat back, scrolling through his Instagram, Mark did post their selfie with a red heart as a caption. Donghyuck thought that was really cute. 

"Too bad you're staying. I thought there would be no shower fights. You ruin everything at the last minute, ugly muffin." Chenle said disappointed, as he expressed his anger.

"Oh. Look at you, your heart is full of unwashed socks that you don't even care for your big brother. But anyway, your disappointment is my satisfaction. And I'm not leaving anywhere. And now if you don't mind, I'm going to sleep." 

"That's literally what you do the entire day like a lazy donkey with books pretending as you study, why are you suddenly acting like you were sleep-deprived for 2 days?" 

"Because I was, silly goose. And even my back still hurts." maybe he shouldn't have done those silly exercises and stretched too much. 

Chenle's eyes widened. "Oh no. You did- you didn't - you-" Donghyuck frowned. "You are no more the insensitive piece of stinking cheese that Dad likes. Aigo! Donghyuck has grown up to be such a bad reputation to his brother!" 

It was a moment later Donghyuck understood what was going on in Chenle's head. "Shut up, dolphin!" Donghyuck said, throwing the pillow at him. "It's not what you're thinking. How can you- you are going to me puke! You stuck up, buffoon looking, pervert!"  
Chenle fell on the floor laughing, looking at the unbelievable face of Donghyuck. 

"And I don't stink, big head!"

"Tell that to your seagull looking, big-booty boyfriend," Chenle said ducking from another attack and running out of the room. 

"Freaking idiot!" Donghyuck mumbled falling back on the bed and plugging his earphones on to have a peaceful sleep.

On the other hand, Mark was happy after many years, whenever Donghyuck popped into his mind it made him smile like an idiot. His cute blushing face and warm hugs and beautiful eyes and attractive lips made Mark want him more. He wondered how he could be so calm yet make him feel so many emotions at once. For Mark Donghyuck was that anxiety pill with no side effects and very addictive taste that made him saner than actual pills.  
He buried himself in the pillow remembering how good the kiss felt.

It made him sure that Donghyuck had strong feelings for him just by noticing the fact that he initiated the kiss. He was happy with this decision, happier because it is Donghyuck. 

_____

The next week was completely packed just like how Donghyuck and Mark expected. With little talks in the recess and after music class along with late-night texting made them too tired to even try. 

Staying up late nights talking, made them sleepy in the classroom making no space for texting too. In the middle of the week, Donghyuck absolutely hated how the class was going. 10mins more for the class to end, he was not even ready for one more minute. He wondered why he even started hating Economics class. He could see Mrs. Lee aka his own mother was busy discussing the test and was flipping pages to tell the concepts for the test. He hated these weekly tests. 

"Excuse me, Professor." The whole classroom echoed with a very familiar voice. The voice immediately made Donghyuck's heart beat fast and his head shot up from his seat. 

"Mr. Kim wants Lee Donghyuck to talk about his project immediately in the staff room," Mark announced and left. Mrs. Lee nodded and signaled Donghyuck to leave with her hands. 

Donghyuck's mind was filled with thoughts, he had checked his project plenty of times. Was he going to be in detention again? He thought walking towards the staff room. Immersed in his thoughts he flinched suddenly when a handheld him dragging him somewhere else. 

Donghyuck seemed surprised which proved to more excited one when he saw a familiar face before his eyes.

"Missed me huh?" Donghyuck smirked at Mark when he grabbed him to the university playground with students playing and dropping off their exertion from their forehead. Mark could only roll his eyes at his actions, "Don't pretend that you didn't miss me too."

Donghyuck let out a satisfied grin to convince Mark, "It's okay, I wasn't interested in the class anyways... Don't worry I won't complain to my mother about it, " and Mark pinched his cheeks to break out into a hearty chuckle.

Donghyuck gently held Mark's right hand to eye his wrist. He rubbed his fingers gently and gave an expectant look towards Mark with a smile pictured on his lips, "Does it still hurt?"

Mark nods sheepishly and forces a smile, "It's fine I guess... It doesn't bleed liters when I write for long and I think that's a good sign."

Donghyuck lets out an awkward chuckle before hugging him tightly and ruffling his hair, "I really missed you, love." to which Mark beamed a smile.

Mark looked at the playground with the youth stressing their carcasses to defeat the opposite crew and shifted his lovely graze to Donghyuck's which was more or less the same, conflicting yet complimenting, eyes brightened with elation and expectation, Donghyuck's cute bumpy nose inhaling the warm scent of brown soil damped with the pre-rain moisture and ears voiced with the playful screams and birds chirping in the eternal sky, the tree above their heads sheltering them and the branched shadows decorating their faces into dark falls, causing his fingers to caress his chubby cheeks and Mark felt Donghyuck closing his eyes and gripping on his shirt near his neck inducing the other hand to trail down his waist and soon, the countenance reached the youngers to collide their snouts, proceeding to the lips later on and Mark met his home.

Donghyuck pulled away with his excited smile when he felt the drizzle commencing from the breaks between the leaves to kiss his skin. 

"Shall we go inside? It's raining,'' Donghyuck said with a wide smile taking his head as Mark nodded immediately.

The young adults walked the stairs tirelessly to reach the university library and settled their backbones to the cupboard carefully not to provoke the other students and librarian. 

Mark as he sat down, accidentally scratched his right wrist with the handle. It sure did hurt him but the cause of the pain hurt him more. He felt guilty and the fear of him doing suicide was caught up in his mind. His face immediately fell and observed Donghyuck curiously looking at him. Mark shook his head forcing a smile which proved unconvincing for Donghyuck.

Donghyuck spoke in a high pitch, "What are you worried about Markeuri? About my mom accepting as my boyfriend?" snapping him out his thoughts and diverting his curious smile towards him. Donghyuck resumed, "Don't worry about it... Yeah, she will get angry at first and maybe try to slap you, " Mark widened his eyes, "but I will stop her by saying, 'Don't slap this pretty face. I know, he is a bit weird and doesn't know to cook, is very clumsy, very bad at humor, and acts like a kid and also a pervert but still, I don't know how but I love him. I know he isn't really pretty for my standards but do you think someone prettier than me in this universe exists?' and then she will understand the logic behind and she will stop,'' and Mark burst out laughing catching his stomach and spoke out in between, " Where did you get this confidence from?"

Donghyuck flipped his hair, "From my mom."

"Does your mom also chicken out when your dad flirts with her?" Mark wiggled his eyebrows to earn a death glare from the younger.

Donghyuck shifts the topic, "there are numerous mysteries in the world, Hitler's wife and children, Bermuda triangle, and 'what does mark lee do in the shower for two hours'?" 

Mark chuckled and answered, "Umm I don't know.. Why don't you figure it out yourself? Join me next time?" and Donghyuck narrowed his stares already annoyed with the sudden approach, "But if you joined me, it would take longer and we won't even be bathing, in fact... We would-" Mark stopped midway as he felt his ears bring grabbed by Donghyuck's hands.

Donghyuck gritted his teeth out of irritation, "Say that again and you will wake up in hell."

Mark still not learning the lesson talked more, "We can also save the water, you know." Donghyuck twisted his ears more and more and said, "Say sorry right now."

"Ow- stop, it hurts."

"I SAID SAY SORRY."

"I'm sorry" Mark flinched with pain and bent down to free his ears which were red by then.

Donghyuck showed no sign of pity at his suffering and instead told him, "I hate you, Mark, you are seriously a pervert."

"You don't love me? Not a bit?"

"I don't love you. Not a bit."

"What a pity... Because I love you, like, a lot." Mark scooted closer to whisper into his ear. There was a rapid expression change in Donghyuck's eyes and giggled at what Mark said.

"Oh, my innocent eyes" A short man with mullet hair came and Mark retracted his position, Renjun dramatically facepalmed, "I understand you are so lovey-dovey and all but this place is called library for a reason. Also, You can't fight here. I heard your screams all the way."

Mark was immediate in reaction, "Yeah, scold him. He was pulling my ear." Donghyuck raised in defense, "Shut it, Mark, you know what he said, Renjun?"

"What did he say?" Renjun asked in curiosity.

"What did I say?" Mark sly smiled.

Donghyuck whined, "Ugh nevermind-," he hated how Mark was confident like this until something else came to his mind, "but wait. Why are you here? Now it's your lab period right?"

Mark joined, "Yeah, even I saw xiaojun in your class. What about you?"

Renjun awkwardly scratched his neck, "Uhh you know, Yeri and I are just working on the project. She needed help in hers so yeah.''

Mark and Donghyuck snickered until Donghyuck spoke again, "I see... Helping with the project yeah... Just tell, you like her already." Renjun flushed a light red and took back, "It's nothing like that... You both just don't tell anybody about this yeah?" Renjun practically pleaded in front of his best friend aware of his habit of letting the kitten out of the bag.

Donghyuck, laughed it off, "Okay Renjun, bye-bye" as he felt yeri approaching him probably curious about Renjun's whereabouts. Renjun wailed in annoyance, "I seriously hate you Donghyuck."

Donghyuck spoke in his higher pitch voice, "I love you too injun ah~~ You are so sweet, it gives me diabetes." 

Renjun whisper yelled, "You are so salty it gives me blood pressure."

All the three of them except Renjun, along with Yeri, laughed at their best friend dynamics.

_____

The rich warm aroma of the chocolate scented the whole kitchen prompting Mark away from the grip on his phone. He moved to the kitchen to inspect his beloved with the eyes furrowed adorably in adjusting the chocolate cream on the cookies his mom sent them. Mark grinned foolishly at the sight of Donghyuck in his black t-shirt and messy fluffy and bubbly long hair reaching till the region behind his neck concentrated on minute things such as cookie frostings. Mark took slow steps towards the younger and extended his arms to wrap them around Donghyuck's waist simultaneously placing a kiss onto his ear. 

"Damn it, Mark lee... How did you get here? I got so scared."

Mark cackled at this comment and took one of the cookies to eat walking into the kitchen. Donghyuck sighed heavily and placed his rinsed hand on his mouth to yawn. 

Mark spoke, "Heyy, the sky is clear today." 

".....so?"

"So we will do stargazing... I'm really curious you know..since when you mentioned that."

Donghyuck nodded while yawning at the recurrence of the memory when he told Mark about that. But now, he had no energy to stay the night, or that's what he wants to think.

He groaned, "I'm so sleepy now."

"I'm not."

"Really? Then count sheep. I'm going to sleep." Donghyuck raised his arms up to stretch his tired body and drank water.

Mark shook his head, "You are a devil. Really. A devil incorporated in a twenty-year-old body."

Donghyuck smirked at his reaction and kissed his cheek when Mark pouted. Donghyuck was about to leave when but halted when Mark grabbed his wrist. He turned towards him, "If you don't come, I'll carry you to the terrace."

"What-"

Mark didn't speak anything but bent to slip his right hand under Donghyuck's knees but widened his eyes when he moved by jerking him away.

"Ow!"

Donghyuck laughed in his mute tone and joined his hands in front of him confusing him. He later bent his head to hug Mark, arms around his stomach and his head deliberately lowered at the height of Mark's chest so that he won't lift him.

Mark laughed at this sight, "Why?"

Still, in the same position, Donghyuck spoke in his snickering state, "I'll come Don't worry, but don't carry me like that."

Mark had his head back thrown in the confused laughter but still hugged him back.

Donghyuck didn't want to think how he'd ended up there, his legs between Mark's, and the body between Mark's own and the thick brown blanket, with Mark's hands around his torso, supporting his position. But he knew one thing for sure, he was under the stars, with the one who had stars in his eyes. He knew that Mark was his 'the one' and wouldn't trade him for anything in the world. Mark rested his chin on Donghyuck's shoulder and occasionally turned towards the side to whisper talking in his ears and sometimes, he would rub his hair and pat it. 

Mark said suddenly, "You don't know hyuck, you, like actually saved me from death. I wouldn't have been here sitting with you under the stars, staring at them. It would just be you, alone, looking at the stars."

Donghyuck furrowed his brows, "And you decided that you could leave me alone like that."

Much to his annoyance, Mark continues his speech, "If I die, am I capable enough to own a star in his beautiful sky? Would you name it for me?"

At first, Donghyuck goes silent without paying attention to the question Mark has raised. He pretends nothing happened and proceeds to get lost in the favored darkness of the night.

Mark knew what the diligent silence meant and immediately grabbed his chin to face him eye to eye. He touched his cheek reassuringly to caress it and collided their foreheads together.

Donghyuck looked into his honest sincere eyes and apologetically smiled, "Never say that thing again. Nothing will happen to you, to us, unless we permit ourselves to surrender. We will be okay."

Mark nodded with a forced smile and later Donghyuck lightened his mood by cracking several jokes and Mark swore Donghyuck looked so ethereal, in his simple black t-shirt, stars twinkling above him sheltering their light on the light of his life, whose smile is as bright as the sun and heart as big as an angel. 

When Donghyuck was yawning a bit too much, Mark let him sit on his legs and he observed Donghyuck pressing his head to his neck, closing his eyes, and sighing through his lips. He looked so soft and adorable with the lips pouting to buss his neck slightly and the moles shaped into the constellation. Mark smiled upon the sight until a honey voice commenced his ears.

"Stop staring at me like that."

Mark almost asked him inaudible tone, "Hyuck?"

"Hmm?"

"I want to kiss you.." Mark said involuntarily while smiling sheepishly and tracing the thumb over his head and completely blaming Donghyuck's looks for stimulating his action.

Donghyuck was more awake now, with the tension in the atmosphere. He chimed in with his sarcasm, "You sound very desperate for kissing me, but I'm cute, so it's understandable." 

Mark almost grinned before shaking his head. He leaned forward to observe the masterpiece in front of him and ultimately pressed his lips to the skin on his cheek mole and continued to trail down his kisses to the region below his eye, ear, nose, the corner of the lips, below his jaw, on the neck, and at the end pressing the last kiss on his little exposed chest. 

Donghyuck's mind tried commanding his cheeks to not blush in crimson red but failed albeit being accustomed to the usual affection displayed by the older. It's funny how his heart stupidly flutters so much, and Donghyuck doesn't know how to stop his foolish heart from precipitating like a desperate little bird's wings.

He smiled shyly at Mark, as he opened his eyes and made a successful attempt to speak sanely, "I thought you were going to do it on the lips."

"These are prettier."

Donghyuck placed his hand on the mouth and laughs to hide his embarrassment. He wraps his hand around Mark's neck and places his head on his shoulder. 

Mark slaps his cheek trying to convey how he was overreacting before speaking, "Now, shall we go inside, or do you want me to carry you downstairs?"

Donghyuck shakes his head as a NO and gets up to walk to their bedroom to travel the dreamland. 

_____

Walking home from their music class with each other has become their favorite pass time and way of enjoying their couple time. Seizing excited steps Donghyuck's legs brushed a soft fluffy animal and he reached for it in reflex. His hands stroked the fur enduring the softness and fluffiness of the white fur which enclosed its body and played with it completely ignoring the distressed Mark Lee rummaged about the thoughts about his past.

Once again, Mark's mind twirled around the mashy fleshy remains of the pet which influenced feuds with the nerve cells in his brain and the red blood of the dead sending his thoughts to the senility. 

Mark's ears were startled by the sudden echoing of the honey voice, "Mark, this puppy is cute right? You wanna hold it too?"

Mark froze with the sudden closeness of the tanned male with that thing in his hand. The unexplainable intentions never made their way to the unsaid responses that would have come through his mouth. 

With the long confused and awkward silence, Donghyuck repeated again, "Mark, just hold this. It's so cute."

"Snoopy is so cute."

Composing himself, he answers in monotone, "W-we are getting la-late, let's g-go h-home, " the stammering proving that he was dead nervous.

"Let's go home Snoopy."

Donnghyuck, preoccupied with playing with the animal, didn't notice the difference in the environment surrounding Mark. He clung onto him by rubbing the puppy's limbs on his arms to tease him. The next moment, Donghyuck widened his eyes in shock when he felt a sudden jerk of Mark pushing him away. 

He immediately lets go of the puppy to turn to Mark. "Mark, what's wrong?"

"I love you Snoopy!"

"I absolutely ha-hate puppies." Hate was a weak word to describe his sentiments. It was pure love for the puppies he treasured when he was young but one switched his love to phobia.

Donghyuck taken aback by the abrupt change places his warm hand on Mark's shoulder. "Are you fine Mark?"

He shoves away his hand before retaliating, "Le-lets just- just leave... I-immediately."

Donghyuck nods in understanding and both walked with no exchange of words making the atmosphere even more awkward. Many unanswered questions revolved around Donghyuck's brain which were threatening to come out but however stopped with the worry buried inside him. 

The day was very quiet with very less intercourse of phrases and Mark didn't speak any word with his accord.

Donghyuck chose to ask him at the right time so as to not disturb Mark's condition. He waited for him peacefully to speak about it but Mark never intended to open up about it so did he.

He switched off the television and lighted up the room to ask Mark, "Mark what's with you?"

No response. He saw that Mark didn't even turn towards him and just gazed into the nothingness. He called him again, "Mark?"

"....."

"MARK?"

Mark widened his eyes at the realization tricking him to look towards Donghyuck's, those sincere, honest, searching, and pretty eyes of his which shined even in the kaleidoscopic catastrophe of his anxiety, guilt, and insecurity.

He cleared his throat to not stammer, "Yeah? W-what h-happened?" but failed.

"You tell me"

"I don't know- I mean- no- it's nothing."

Mark mentally slapped himself for stuttering and shifting his concentration on immaterial things (aka not Donghyuck) and gulped in nervousness and bit into his lower lip to not break down in front of his love. He knew where this was heading to and honestly, it scared the shit out of Mark.

His vision got blurry when his eyes swelled with the fluid commencing through them. 'It is never easy to hold your tears in front of your love' Mark thought. 

Donghyuck proved him correct, "Love, what happened?"

Another sob. Mark bent his head down unable to face the other. He hitched his breath to not let sounds and he knew that 'nothing' isn't going to answer Donghyuck's question. 

"Love, you know you can trust me right?"

Mark looked into those loyal eyes and struggled to talk, "I just- just can't bring myself to talk about it."

Donghyuck gripped Mark's hands tightly in assurance, "I'm here for you, every time. Always."

"Donghyuck- actually I-" Mark was struggling to speak those suffering words and the thick air of unsaid words surrounded them and before Mark cries more, he launches himself on Donghyuck's arms. His warm comforting body swallowed his hesitation and Donghyuck patted his back shushing him.

"Don't cry!" Donghyuck would say but Mark cried even more. Five minutes just passed like that and later, Donghyuck brought him a glass of water. Eventually, Mark stopped the breathless crying and looked at Donghyuck with folded arms hugging his chest and expected expression.

The younger asks, "Can you talk about it?"

"I re-really want to." He diligently says.

"Go on. I'm all ears."

Mark starts, and tells him, "I used to have a pet dog, Snoopy. Snoopy was her name,my first friend; was gifted by Gramps. I used to have a lot of fun with her- but one day- he-"

"Who?"

"My u-uncle. He killed her and from that day, he kept scaring me. He- he killed her. I still remember those bloody hands and the scarred knife. She was lifeless and injured and I couldn't do anything. I couldn't save her hyuck- " 

Mark soon felt a pair of arms around his broad shoulder as Donghyuck patted his hair and rubbed his fingers on his back. Wiping his tears with his thumb, Donghyuck mumbled, "It's okay" to his ears.

Donghyuck held his face and spoke, "Mark, it's okay. You couldn't- you just couldn't, at that time, when you think of it, you were too young and mentally weak about it."

Mark left a sarcastic sigh, "I'm still mentally weak, I can't do anything myself on my own."

"You aren't. So many things happened in your life but you kept trying to move on, and, your courage. You followed your passion, Mark. Literature, somewhat you have cherished since boyhood and never left hope on that because of your dedication. Determination is what your strength defines."

Mark nodded, although not convinced with the speech. Words were sure encouraging but in the practicality, he always failed. At that moment he couldn't think of anything else so he just hugged him. 

Donghyuck stroked his back when he spoke again, "Can you stay the night?"

"Yeah, of course."

_____

"WHAT!"

"Dad Relax, don't shout. Mom will scold you." Donghyuck calmed his father on the phone call when he got almost flabbergasted with the revelation of Mark's dog.

"But, hyuck, he never said it to Taeyong."

"Exactly."

"And we were wondering as of why Mark even allowed himself to get abused by that creepy uncle. It's all because he manipulated him, by killing his favorite pet."

"That old man is insane. Seriously, I would kill him at the first sight. How can anyone be so ruthless?"

"I just hope Mark is fine tonight. Are you staying there for the night.?

" Yeah. He asked me to. He seems fine now. He didn't eat the dinner properly but, right now, he is sleeping."

"Yeah, okay. Take care."

"Bye."

"Bye."

Donghyuck moved towards the sink to do the dishes and later proceeded to the table to clean it. He stretched his arms in exhaustion and settled himself on the chair. He thought of creating a peaceful ambiance for Mark and talk to him more about his weaknesses so that Mark can come out of it. 

"AHHH!"

Out of the blue, Donghyuck heard a loud scream from Mark's room.

Donghyuck hurried upstairs towards Mark's room soon after he heard Mark scream. He scanned the dim-lit bedroom finding everything was extremely ordinary until his eyes reached Mark who was pressing the water bottle to his mouth. 

Donghyuck sighed in relief. 

Walking towards him, he watched his hair completely untidy and his face covered in tiny droplets of sweat, and his eyes shimmering with a pain that went completely unnoticed by Donghyuck. 

“Bad dream?” Donghyuck could only question. Mark could give a subtle nod, not bothering to look at the other. “Want to talk?” Donghyuck questioned again now completely unable to stand a silent atmosphere to which again Mark didn't bother to respond. Donghyuck gave up. 

Settling on the bed, Mark let Donghyuck hug him. He slipped his hands around the older's waist, back hugging him. “It's going to be okay,” Donghyuck whispered, patting his stomach. 

Mark hoped so too. But every second he felt his soul-draining and his heart and sanity cut into pieces. He surely left his past back in Canada, but it always tormented him like nightmares. The visuals of the old cabin, the routine suffering, and his own pet's existence resting in heaven today. 

Why does it have to be him? Or someone's life for that matter. Was he the cause of her suffering yesterday? New doubts assailed Mark's head pushing him into a hot uprush of hatred and disgust on himself. Tears formed in the corner of his eyes. 

Rubbing his face, he turned to Donghyuck hearing his little snores filling the room tempting him to run back into the scary cycle of his dreams. 

_____

As the sky broke into the warm rays of the sun, Mark's eyes slowly opened and dragged him into the bathroom and later downstairs, finding someone alone in the kitchen and an empty living room making him frown. 

“Donghyuck isn't here?” he inquired Taeyong. 

“Good morning to you too. And he left for his morning classes. I don't know.” Taeyong shrugged. “But, I appreciate his pancakes,” he added, signaling him to join. 

Mark felt the breakfast setting calmness in his soul, which did not last long. “I'm happy you are able to express yourself to Donghyuck,” Taeyong said. 

Mark exhaled, as an unpleasant emptiness and heavy sensation crept into his heart again. It's a complete lie. He could give an unfelt smile unable to tell him the overburdening sense of unexplainable. 

Packing his backpack, he found a sticky note on the mirror which he didn't give attention to a while ago. 

“Sorry. You might not be able to see my beautiful face after you wake up 'cuz of my Morning classes, I'll see you at the break.”  
\- Donghyuck  
[ ps: do you ever realize that Magic starts with M and so does Mark? I know I'm good at English ;) xoxo ] 

A faint smile of stinging delight appeared on his lips as he read the letter making him forget about previous moments adding on happy thoughts. 

_____

The next few days his nights went in horror. The frequent upsurge of those mist of memories which he never wanted to remember invaded his mind every other day. He found himself screaming and panting, shaking with fear and tears and gasping for breath every other night and unable to sleep.

He got tired and couldn't concentrate on the daily classes. Mark felt the damage coming up when he performed poorly in his test feeling the unaccountable loathing and shame, torturing his soul as he felt he had it coming for cheating on his parents.

He couldn't keep up with daily rants from Donghyuck nor spend moments with him happily. The visions behind his eyes didn't seem to hide in his eyes gaining questions from Donghyuck every day if he was fine. He couldn't bring it to explain himself. If only it was as easy as the daily quotes that write ‘Start expressing yourself.’ then he wouldn't be crying every night. 

_____

“Really? You've got yourself into another fight?” Mark raised his eyebrows in surprise and pressed his lips into a thin line expressing disappointment looking at Donghyuck who had bandages on and few cuts were visible.

“I've never seen those boys in or around the University.” Donghyuck started mumbling impatiently after sometime sipping his milkshake. “Those ugly rats were harassing girls! We happened to be around that time and we jumped in. I can't believe Xiaojun, Hendery and Yangyang have good sides too. They helped us and the librarian informed the authorities and they were taken to task.”

Mark ruffled his hair in happiness supporting him and he was also happy that his rival trio was as good as he and his best friends were. 

Later that evening, Mark buried his face in Donghyuck's neck, inhaling his scent which felt home and cozy. Donghyuck was evaluating his new perception glasses soon replacing his old ones. 

“I need to get used to seeing you like this. But these look pretty on you.” Donghyuck said, earning a smile from Mark which he felt against his neck. “Mark? Are you sleeping properly?” 

Mark's mind froze at the sudden question and it was not late for the room to fall into a solid silence. He knew that question had bothered Donghyuck for a few days. And he can't avoid or lie to the eyes of a scrutinizing observer like him. Donghyuck already knew the answer from the silence. 

“Did you tell Taeyong Hyung about it?” Again, the silence was as quiet as it was before. “Mark. You know this is serious, right?” Donghyuck questioned with a hint of gloom visible in his voice. 

“I know,” Mark said quietly. “But it's hard for me. To admit. To explain. I couldn't bring myself to face my own pain, it's making me feel scared and vulnerable. It feels as if his shadows follow me here too. Behind those curtains, choking my face against the mirror to beg for mercy. Ripping Snoopy's soul into pieces, I see them today, every day at night.” 

Donghyuck could only sit and listen to Mark while he was trembling against his torso. Donghyuck has never experienced nightmares. The last thing he remembered calling his dream a nightmare was when his mother grounded him and didn't let him play or use his computer.

“Mark, I know it's not easy to get over this. But we can give it a try to reduce your stress from nightmares.” Donghyuck said, choosing his words carefully. He let his fingers run around Mark's silky dark hair calming him. 

“Renjun advised me a lot of times saying that he writes things he did on that day and revises about the daily things before going to bed because it helps him to know how much progress he made and how much he needs to improve. You know, like a journal. I couldn't do it, of course, journals aren't really my thing. But, you can do it too. Things you need to do, you want to do and things you are grateful for. And when you have this ‘no socializing’ mood, write an email to yourself about what's bothering you. Dad does that a lot. And when you are done, read and evaluate yourself, it makes you understand yourself better.”

Donghyuck felt a tight grip against his waist and inaudible Thank you from Mark. The way Donghyuck spoke so calmly and encouraged him to go on in his life makes Mark feel good. 

Donghyuck didn't know much this was going to help. But, trying was not a mistake and children crawl before they learn to walk, and if Mark is developing and learning to live, he needs to crawl first.

_____

Donghyuck fell on the lawn as his book hugged his chest. His eyes gazed upon the huge night sky with noticeable shining stars and the moon looking transparent from the clouds. 

Looking at them, Donghyuck wondered if Mark sitting at his window would be looking at the sky just like him. He remembered his presence beside him as his lips kissed his birth moles. His fingers unconsciously traced his moles and chuckled. 

His mind was still wondering about Mark and a few questions about him. Soon, Donghyuck heard footsteps from the house towards him.

“Long time no see?” said his father, sitting beside him.

“I literally see you every day, dad.” 

“But you don't talk with me anymore though. When was the last time we talked? Normally like we used to?” 

Donghyuck glanced at his father realizing their talks went left behind. “I- I'm really sorry, Dad. I had been caught up with something else.” his father gave him a warm smile, wrapping his arms around him. 

“I'm really proud of standing up against those boys.” 

Their conversation soon was recharged with laughter and Donghyuck's rants which he had buried inside him for a long time that was worth sharing with his father only. Donghyuck realized no matter how many people he gets to know in the near future, a friend and support like his father could never be replaced. 

Donghyuck finally let out an exhausted sigh. While his father was still laughing at Donghyuck's satire about his Professors. 

The conversation slowly escalated to Mark. A topic Donghyuck was dying to bring. He felt really scared to talk about his boyfriend in front of his father, so he had to try real hard to bring the topic as realistic as possible. 

When Donghyuck told his father about his recent situations and for that matter the advice he gave Mark, his father's eyes beamed with happiness. “Wow. I'm so proud. Good job. Why don't you join as a nurse in the hospital.” 

Donghyuck glared at his father. “Oh yes. If I end up failing in my life. Surely I would.” 

After a few minutes of stillness, Donghyuck let out, “Why does he always have to think about his past? I mean, isn't he old enough to face everything by himself? He is so strong that he could fight him. Why isn't he realizing that?” 

His father let out a chuckle in disbelief. “I don't know. Put yourself in his shoe and ask yourself.” Mr. Lee glanced at Donghyuck who was in his deep thoughts. 

“Hmm, I remember an incident. There is this boy called Lee Donghyuck who's like you know, confident and all-rounder, came home one day and sobbed for weeks that he's tricked by his fellow mates. Why? Do you think he was weak? Or can't fight back? I mean he was old enough to stand up for himself?” 

Donghyuck glared at his father. “I didn't expect to be played this way. And it's not even connected to what Mark faced-” 

“It might not be, you know yourself how much it bothered you, you cried over it for weeks. If such a small thing can bother you so much, Mark was verbally abused, beaten, ill-treated for 5 years.” his father sighed. “Physical cuts heal faster than emotional ones. And sometimes they stay with you forever. You can't predict when he will be back to normal, he might not forever, memories can't be deleted so easily, right.” 

“Mark isn't as lucky as you or Chenle, Donghyuck. You are blessed to have support from me and your mother, but imagine we both leaving you with no care and support with someone that could damage your health for the rest of your life? Imagine you being harmed by something that would hurt your skin?” 

No parent can take the pain of his child being abused. Donghyuck could already sense the pain his father was feeling. But think about Mark's parents. They don't even know about him. His family was the backbone for Donghyuck and he can't even survive a day without playing around with his brother or his father. 

“I'm so sorry.” Donghyuck realized his mistake reaching his dad to give him a hug.

“You should be. Sweetheart, mental health should not be neglected. Just because you can't see it, that doesn't mean it doesn't exist.” 

Donghyuck nodded understandingly. “So Mark needs strong support that can make him worthy to exist,” Donghyuck asked. His father nodded. “Why can't it be his own family? I mean, they can't be so bad that they want him dead.” 

“Certainly. One attempt to test won't hurt.” His dad said with a smile. 

When both of them heard Donghyuck's mother scream, they both walked inside the house while Donghyuck thought about the possibilities to unite Mark with their parents.

_____

Donghyuck feels the weekend approaching as if he time traveled. Things went really fast and he didn't even think of how to unite Mark with their parents. Donghyuck wondered if Mark's parents actually contacted him every now and then. When he asked Taeyong the same, he said they would but Mark never really talked to them properly. And that he said it reminds him of being a cheat. Donghyuck had tried his best not to zone out of the class especially in Doyoung's lecture. He knew Doyoung just wanted an excuse to insult him. And when he tried real hard he ended up getting punished by him that he would explain the whole poem by Monday. 

And that's what he was doing with Mark and losing his brain cells. 

“Why does this language need to be so hard?” 

“No, it isn't. You are just trying too hard. Try to learn it by loving it. English is a beauty, Hyuck.” Mark said, calmly. 

“I look better than this at least. I don't even understand normal English and here they go and use words that make me more confused.” Donghyuck let out.

Mark shook his head, laughing with pity. 

“Don't pity laugh at me. My language is the best.” 

“That's exactly how I feel about English. Since it's my language. Every language has its own specialty. You say this 'cause you suck at English.” 

“I don't! I can be good at anything. But that doesn't make English better. You have to be 고마워(thankful) to 한글 [Korean].” Mark tried his best not to burst out cackling at how Donghyuck was being so silly mixing Korean and English. 

“Here is a Korean man. Don't forget, ok?” 

“That's ‘Don't forget’.” Mark let out in between his laughter. Donghyuck saw how Mark broke into fits of laughter falling on to the ground.

“I know. But still, it doesn't make English any queen. That language still sucks.” Donghyuck said flipping pages frustrated. He was sitting there for more than an hour yet no improvement. “This is such a waste. If my dad didn't force me, I would never learn this shit.” 

“Fine. Later say this to your English professor. Since English sucks, I'm not helping you. Go help yourself or go to hell.” Mark said seriously and went back to concentrate on what he was doing. Donghyuck stomped out of the house just to act overdramatic. While walking he realized how stupid this was. Did they just fight over languages? 

Realizing his mistake, he facepalmed. He walked towards nearby stationery and picked up a card that looked attractive and was written in English. Unbothered to read what was written and satisfied by the beauty, he purchased it with chocolate. 

While he walked back to Mark's house, he banged the door loudly until Mark showed up after a few minutes. 

“What the heck-” Before he could complete, Donghyuck shoved the card and the chocolate to him, earning a chuckle. 

“Sorry,” he said with an angry pout. 

“Fine. Come on in,” Mark said but stopped him midway. “Dude what the hell is this?” he questioned with a straight face. 

“What?” 

“Read it,” Mark said, rolling his eyes, shoving the card to Donghyuck.

“a time to experience a fulfilling life der- derived from many enjoyable and rewarding activities. Happy retirement.” Donghyuck read. “So? What about it?” 

“Stupid, retirement is leaving your job after you get old. Or you say retirement is quitting from something after you choose not to work for something you have been working for long.” 

“Oh,” Donghyuck said, inaudibly controlling his laughter. 

“Such an idiot," Mark said, hitting him with the card. “A for effort though,” he said, putting the chocolate in his pocket. “I thought of sharing this with you. But, nevermind.” 

“If you are so good at English, why can't you tell your parents about it, Mark?”

Mark abruptly stopped letting out a sigh. “Donghyuck, you won't understand.” 

“Really? Enlighten me, then.” 

“Look, my parents are not as supportive as yours are. My parents like business a lot and it's not wrong for them to want me to be a part of it but I'm literally cheating them by not telling them about my education for a year. They would hate me and that's the last thing I want. Being thrown out and hated by my own parents.

“You need to lie a thousand times just to hide one lie, Mark. If not today one day you've got to tell them about this.” 

“No, I-” 

“It is a question of your carrier, Mark. You need to know that your parents value you more than what you are studying. They need to know that their kid is one of the most brilliant students the University ever got.” 

“What if they don't like it?”

“You still have my back. I promise to stay with you in every situation. No matter how bad.” Donghyuck assured. “Did you tell anyone about this?” 

“Johnny knows.” 

“That's brilliant. Why don't you use your older brother to tell your parents about how well you are doing?” 

“I'm not sure. Hyuck, do I really have to do this?” 

“What if I say yes? Or just tell me till when are you planning on keeping this as a secret?” 

Honestly, Mark didn't know. This was very quickly happening. He didn't even think of how to even tell his parents, how to start. Nothing. This was so unprepared, and Mark never did something without thinking about it for a week or so. “I didn't even think of this-” 

“You have been doing this ‘thinking’ for a year, Mark. Listen to me, I'm there for you, don't fear anything.” 

Mark didn't know what to do, but for the firsts, he called Johnny and told him about his decision. 

“Mark, I'm really glad that you took this decision. Papa, Momma is going to be really proud.” Donghyuck could hear a mature yet soft voice talking in English.

“But what if things go wrong?” 

“Listen, nothing is going to happen. Pfft, I really wish I talked to you about this before, I always thought you needed more confidence. Just say what you want to tell them if anything goes wrong, you know I'm still alive. Even a mosquito will not dare to harm you.” 

Donghyuck was sitting behind biting his nails hearing out Mark panicking. He didn't understand anything nor Mark told him anything. He thought it would be better if he didn't disturb him until he talked to his parents. Donghyuck was so frustrated, his quick mind was so desperate that he wanted to snatch that damn phone and talk to his parents. 

Mark heard the phone ring when he called his mother. His heart didn't stop doing a prayer that things would go well. Yet he didn't have any hope whatsoever. 

“Mark? Sweetie how are you?” he heard his Mom's soft voice. She sounded excited and happy. “I'm so glad you called dear.” 

Normally, Mark never called his mother by himself until and unless it was her birthday. He did the same with his father. He only spoke to him if his mom was in the office with his father or it was their anniversary. 

“Mark?” his mother said again. 

Mark exhaled. “I-um, I'm good.” he said, anxiously and added a “What about you and dad?” 

“Everything is good here. Your dad is here too. Want to talk?” 

That was weird. His parents were rarely together. Half of the time they were busy walking hurriedly in the office and loaded with stress and word piled up. 

“I actually-” he cleared his throat. Rapidly tension was building inside him. He turned around and looked at Donghyuck who was nodding and gave him a thumbs up. 

“Mom. Can you put the call on speaker? I need to tell you and dad something.” 

When the other side went quiet and his father spoke, Mark took it as an opportunity. This is actually happening. And Mark decided to let this just go on the name of the almighty. It's now or never. 

“First of all, I am really sorry. Mom and dad. I'm sorry for telling you that I have been doing business studies here. I'm sorry for making up scores and lies every time you asked me about my subjects. The truth is, I've been here, studying English literature.” Mark breathed out. 

“I know all of this is cheating you, but I was never interested in business from the beginning and so I couldn't bring myself to force myself to study. English was always something I enjoyed, but trust me, it's been really hard for a year, unable to accept the fact that I didn't tell you and you were in the impression that I could be your next successor-” Mark choked on in tears. 

He felt a hand intertwining against his and holding him tightly from behind. Donghyuck patted him and encouraged him to go on.

“I wanted to tell you this the moment I took admission here, but I never had the courage, but today, let's just say-” Mark paused as his mind thought about Donghyuck. “I believed in you,” he said with a smile. 

“Cheating on you could never let me sleep properly, I was never happy, without you. I've always missed your presence. But, I'll try to make you proud, and I always did. You can punish me if you feel I've done something wrong, I sincerely regret this and I am sorry ” Mark said finally wiping his tears. Donghyuck didn't let himself away from him. 

Meanwhile, it was all silence on the other end of the call. 

“Mark. We-” his dad stuttered. Mark licked his lips in fear as he trembled. 

“Sweetheart, we are really sorry for making you feel scared of us. The fact is, it's our fault that we didn't understand your interests and buried the ambitions we had on you.” his father said. 

“We are proud, Mark.” His mother interrupted. “Thanks for letting us know and believing in us. You did a great job telling us. I wish we were much better a year ago so that we could provide you with better facilities. Is the university good?” 

Mark was spellbound. “You- you are not mad?” he said breaking Donghyuck's hug. Donghyuck glanced at him with wide eyes fearing that something terrible happened.

“Son, following your passion is not a sin. In fact, we are proud, for you standing on your legs to pursue a career you want to.”

“Mark, you are the apple of our eyes. Your happiness is our priority. We miss you as much as you do. I promise you. And this is not a crime, this is what you are supposed to do. Please don't be afraid to talk to us.” his father said. 

Mark smiled while his eyes gleamed with tears. “Anything else you need for the study material. Johnny will be taking care of that. I'll monitor it myself so that you are provided with the best, honey.” 

Mark couldn't believe this.  
“Love you, sweetheart. Take care. stay blessed.” his mom and dad said and finally hung up. 

He closed his eyes, dropping his shoulders as he left a weight being taken away. He stood there waiting all the moments to get into him to accept that this was the truth. When he opened his eyes, he left nothing but something he was grateful for. 

When he turned around to look at Donghyuck, his mouth was in the air and he appeared confused. 

“What happened?” he asked quietly. 

“They said it's fine.” 

“What?”

“Donghyuck they said it's fine,” Mark screamed his lungs out and jumped, pulling Donghyuck to his chest, hugging him tightly. He didn't have limits for his excitement. At least that's what Donghyuck saw. He jumped around the house screaming, running into his garden and coming inside again falling on the couch. 

“Can you tell me what happened?” Donghyuck asked again. He got Mark's parents were okay but he wanted the details. If this was solved in minutes then why on earth Mark feared for a whole year? A few minutes later, Johnny called Mark. Donghyuck had to close his ears when Mark screamed into the phone that his parents accepted. 

Donghyuck sighed. Looking outside at the birds going back to their houses as the dawn approached. That's what it seemed like, Mark was finally brought back to his parent's nest and they united. 

_____

“Today is the best day of my life,” Mark said as he earned a smile from Donghyuck. “And it's all because of you.” 

“This is about your family, Mark. Why me?” 

“You idiot, it's all because you, don't you get it?” Mark said getting up and pointing at his head. 

Donghyuck nodded forcefully as a yes. Mark's energy didn't have any limits, he was too reactive at the moment and he could burst out, he decided to not to push him to the edge. “Thank you so much, bro.” 

“Bro? Excuse you? Did you just Bro-zone me?”

Mark was surprised first and chuckled the next moment. “Sorry I was thinking about something else.” 

“I'm angry.” 

“Can I treat you with something? How about your chocolate?” Donghyuck nodded after a long pause. 

When Donghyuck held his hand out to take the chocolate, Mark placed it on his teeth inviting Donghyuck to share it. 

“You know what? I'm not doing this.” Donghyuck said. He backed off when Mark took off his glasses, smirking coming closer to him. When Mark still waited for him to lean over, Donghyuck gave up. He knew he can't say no to chocolate and an opportunity like this. 

Donghyuck brought his profile close to the older until he could get the bite of the chocolate. Things in the room got heated up quickly and so did Donghyuck's face. He felt his ears and cheeks burning when he took the bite while their chin and cheeks touched. He let the chocolate wander around his mouth savoring it, not daring to look at Mark who didn't take his eyes off him. 

Mark can't be blamed, nor his intentions, Donghyuck appeared so cute and kissable with his ears and cheeks burning up and he didn't want to let this go. He crashed his lips onto him without another second thought. 

Donghyuck gave in as he found himself melting every minute under Mark while Mark kissed him like there was no tomorrow. Their lips fighting with each other, as they felt the chocolate they had tempting them to fall into each other more and more every second. Unable to resist each other, neither of them held back from feeling each other deeply until they were out of breath. 

_____

Mark entered the elevator with those hesitant feet with heavy breaths leaving his nose and jackhammered thoughts commencing his brain and the apprehensions making their way to his heart. Donghyuck beside him held his elbow and pressed the floor button and beamed an enchanting smile at Mark. 

Donghyuck had said, it would be fine. It wasn't the first time for his session with Taeyong but what scared him was that this time, it's exposure therapy. Taeyong wouldn't be just asking him questions this time, he would be exposed to his trauma just to trigger him. It's an inspection wherein Mark could be told to do anything that can possibly trigger him. Mark just wished he doesn't destroy the hospital's property getting into a panic attack or anything.

Taeyong coaxed him it would be fair but Mark wouldn't listen. So when he reached the fourth floor, he got more nervous seeing the white screen in Taeyong's compartment. 

What was it?

Soon, Donghyuck's father entered the room and patted Mark's shoulder and gave his son a greeting look. Taeyong motioned his hand towards a chair near the table and asked him to sit down and turned towards Mr.Lee to talk about the experiments.

Mark flinched suddenly when he felt his hand raised in the air which was before intertwined with Donghyuck's. 

Donghyuck placed a quick yet silent kiss onto his knuckles making sure to hide it from the older males present in the room.

"Why?"

"Good luck kiss." Donghyuck winked at the flustered Mark who returned an uncomfortable curve on the rims.

"Mark, ready?" Taeyong glinted heartfully, his eyes curving down proving that he was momentous. Mark nodded twice and it was soon when Donghyuck gave him a one-armed warm hug before leaving the space along with his father to observe him through the glass separating them.

Mark gulped the water from the container and waited for the colors of the image to reflect in his eyes. Taeyong clicked the mouse button and started the video to later place himself beside Mark. Taeyong bit onto his nails and watched Mark's eyes searching the colors of the screen. Mark swallowed although there was nothing as he saw the video of two chickens fighting messing up the fence thread in the process. The yellow one was stronger and the dominant one who tackled the younger, weak white one. 

"Hi Markie, how are you doing today?"

The bigger yellow chicken attacked the corresponding latter with the sharply pointed hems of its nails. The weakling chicken was festooned with stains of blood and the flesh covered with cracks of pain and scars.

"Ah! Don't hit me. Stop, please."

Tears fringed Mark's eyes and his hand reached them in a futile attempt to wipe them. He sweated aggressively and took a ball pen from the table to click it furiously. It's unfair how one was edged with an advantage over the other and the submissive one subjected itself to the vulnerability. Mark didn't like it, he resented it how his situation was akin to the white chicken.

"What will happen when they get to know their son cheated them?"

"Thanks for trusting us, Mark. We are really sorry for not understanding you."

"You don't deserve to be loved, Markie."

"I love you, Mark, will you stay with me forever?"

Mark felt defeated, but more like fed up kind of defeat if anyone asked him to explain his predicament at that moment. He held himself responsible for the vulnerability he has been through and not answering for the most unjustified questions he had been asked. He could have just not bothered his uncle's actions who always manipulated him to anxiety. He played with his mind and what he told Mark were all plain lies. He had a better realm with Donghyuck, Johnny, Taeyong, and his parents. He badly wanted to wipe the ostentatious odd smirk of his uncle's image in his mind. He visualized himself battling his oppressor as he held a stone, throwing on his stupid face. He raised his arm in the air and gritted his teeth and gathered his force to hurl the rock-

"Mark, are you okay?" Taeyong held his shoulders and eyes filled with worry as he glanced the younger male whose fingers wrapped around the paperweight and the glint of the helplessness in his state. Mark's head was sweating and his blood pressure was high. Taeyong's abrupt attempt in shoving away Mark's illusionary imagination prompted him to get back to the real world and it took him a half a minute to process that he was in the hospital for the therapy and he actually held the paperweight to hit the screen. 

As the hues died down turning the screen white and mark identified himself in the opposite mirror and found how his eyes were filled with rage and ferocity.

He opened a bleary eye and murmured, "I'm sorry. I think I got lost."

Taeyong nodded and gave him a shoulder pat before saying, "it's okay." A clinking sound was heard as the door opened and welcomed Donghyuck with an unreadable expression and his father into the room. Taeyong smiled to lighten the atmosphere, "Mark, take some rest." Donghyuck took the hint the grabbed mark's unsteady hand out of the room. 

After a good ten minute session of Taeyong and Mr. Lee discussing over the progress, Donghyuck barged in the room disturbing the doctor figures which he wiped off with an awkward smile.

"Yes, Donghyuck? Any problem?" His dad asked concerned. 

"Yeah, actually, I wanted to ask about, you know, about why Mark behaved like that and all."

Taeyong gestured Donghyuck to sit on the chair in front of him and so did Donghyuck. He hesitantly sat in between the older males and allowed them to continue.

Taeyong spoke, "So, you know right that Mark was always present in the losing end with his uncle? Now, the video is pretty much similar to his situation."

Donghyuck nodded and allowed him to continue, "And now, he can't stand being on that side anymore because he doesn't choose to give himself to his uncle," And, " he smiled, "and that's good progress, I can say."

Donghyuck furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, "But, how is that? I mean, won't he get aggressive now? Just now- he was-"

“Usually when people are sad, they don't do anything. They just cry over their condition. But when they get angry, they bring about change.” 

His dad continued, "We rarely associate anger with anxiety because chronic worriers tend to be kind, polite, responsible, high-achievers, people-pleasers, and overly self-critical. Beware the conscientious exterior in yourself or others, because anger is a primary emotion underlying anxiety."

"Anger is more than an emotion; it’s a conduit that intensifies anxiety. Specifically, when the anger is internalized rather than expressed—think seething inside without showing it."

Donghyuck questioned, "If Mark had been like this then why is he behaving like this now? I mean- Why would someone who avoids conflict and doesn't like getting mad or be an angry person?"

"On a societal basis, we don't usually reward anger. It's considered very rude and you know Mark since you met him, he is so polite to everyone to even hurt a fly. His parents always told him to obey them and sophisticated him to adjust around the surroundings. His right to not object anything caused him to get abused. His inability to express himself and complain about the discomfort he went through and the troubles he encountered brought him to this situation. Now, he doesn't feel the fear of his uncle. He wants to complain, he wants to talk about it and probably confront him of why he did that to him.''

Donghyuck was spellbound and his words dried up in his throat and gulped nervously.

" Yeah, it is true that he improved but we must also consider that anger can be a threat sometimes too."

Donghyuck was so confused and let out a scoff, "My brain is half fried after trying to memorize the articles of the constitution. I am so confused right now. Papa, take me out of this stress" The others chuckled undeniably over the young boy's ailment including Donghyuck himself. 

His father threw a yellow sponge ball on his head startling the boy, "Guess you need this more than Mark then."

"Papa, are you serious? Do you want to play ping pong ball right now?" Donghyuck hissed clearly annoyed.

Taeyong snickered covering his mouth with his hands and said in between laughs, "Sir, your son is a funny dude."

"Hyung, is my existence that of a joke that my words sound funny when I'm dead serious?" He turned towards his father, "Papa, this isn't the time to play ping pong ball. Remember, once Chenle got injured because of that shitty game." 

All the people except the youngest broke down into laughter and the eldest Lee caught his breath before speaking, "Okay, so listen. Since Mark can be aggressive at times, he will be facing stress. He won't be able to deal with those situations so, we can give him this, " he handed the ball to him.

"Why?"

"Stress ball. Its a stress ball. It may appear like a simple ping pong ball but it will help your Mark control stress."

Donghyuck just stood there blank pretending to not notice the way his father addressed Mark as his, this wasn't the moment to think about that, he thought. Taeyong spoke again, "Mark can really uncontrollable sometimes; and the way he can avoid himself from getting out of control is to get acquainted with the things that can cause him trouble."

Donghyuck was more than confused by then, "How could we do that? How can we get him acquainted?"

"You see, just now he watched the video of chickens fighting and how he reacted. So, we must do something similar; like now, we can make him watch action movies? Something like that."

He nodded, "hmm, yeah." He later toured his gaze around the table to find an advertisement article. He excitedly turned towards the doctor, "I have an idea!"

"What?"

"We can join him in karate classes. That way, we can, you know-"

"Wow, that's brilliant." Taeyong smiled.

Mr.Lee showed an unsure expression before saying, "Hey Donghyuck, its not as safe as you expect. See, he can get violent at times and its out of control-"

"Papa, its fine. I can control Mark well. He has no choice but to listen to me," Donghyuck said with a cocky smile which his father didnt receive properly. However, he sighed but with an uncertain nod and warned his son to be careful as the things could terribly go wrong.

Taeyong spoke once again, "But convincing Mark is your job."

Donghyuck said with a confident smile, "Leave it to me."

_____

Pudu: Mark, listen  
Pudu: we are joining Karate classes

Markeuri: Umm, why so?

Pudu: SELF DEFENCE

Markeuri: no one is gonna rape us, we are fine. 

Pudu: shut up. You must listen to me.  
Pudu: safety matters  
Pudu: what if a zombie apocalypse erupts?

Markeuri: everyone in the country would die  
Markeuri: it doesn't matter

Pudu: what if it occurs only in one of our houses?

Markeuri: are you drunk?

Pudu: No, I'm not.

Markeuri: I would rather perish in the attack

Pudu: this isn't a "would you rather" game  
Pudu: Also, what if a thief comes to steal the valuables?

Markeuri: Don't worry, you are the most valuable one I have 

Pudu: ew dude  
Pudu: okay but we must really do this

Markeuri: Hyuck, are you serious?

Pudu: oh, what if I am?

Markeuri: Then you need a psychiatrist more than me

Pudu: Mark, you idiot you have to listen to me, please.  
Pudu: I promise, I will cook for you  
Pudu: I will kiss you whenever you want

Markeuri: corruption at the couple level

Pudu: Shut it, Mark.  
Pudu: that's it.  
Pudu: if you don't come, I'm gonna kick your butt  
Pudu: Renjun can strangle you, Chenle can just shout in your ear 

Markeuri: is it inevitable then?

Pudu: totally

Markeuri: I have no choice then  
Markeuri: But you better follow the second rule about kissing me

Pudu: coRrUpTiON 

____

The first week was pretty well as they sat down near their master as he demonstrated the sharp moves. Mark was quite flexible and it was easy for him to carry them out. Donghyuck's failed attempts to lift his leg in the air caused him to make fun of how the stretching tone sounded as if a wooden material was broken. Truth to be told, Donghyuck wailed over how his bones ached. He muttered to himself in mind of how far he could go for Mark.

So here Mark was, sitting beside Donghyuck as his coach explained the rules of the duet fighting. Mark was reasonably comfortable with the single steps but he never tried to practice with anybody else, including Donghyuck. Mark tensed up a bit, duet meant fighting one another. His defense couldn't be sufficient and might be attacked or he could get violent to hurt others. And, Mark swore he faced one of the toughest challenges of his life, that is, his partner was Donghyuck. He reached for his pocket to search the stress ball but later realized he forgot it. He could have just rejected but Donghyuck's assuring smile wouldn't help him.

He saw Donghyuck opposite to him, lacing his hands and preparing for the defense. 

"Listen, rules are clear right? No using fists."

"Rules are clear, right? No running or no shouting."

Mark edged his mind to not think about the old male but he only pictured him in the morning to get himself frightened or in the afternoon to ask him why he did that to him and return him in the night with a proper physical confrontation. This was wrong, he shouldn't think of harming others but he couldn't help it when all the situations prompted him to. When he saw Donghyuck, he only remembered his uncle. He shook his head twice to jerk away but later when donghyuck leaned forward, he folded his fingers to clench his fists and punch the soft fleshy stomach-

"OW!"

_____

"MARK? LISTEN TO ME!" Donghyuck was practically pleading in front of Mark who was ailing due to the regret of punching Donghyuck. It would be a lie if Donghyuck announced it didn't hurt him. Mark was really stronger compared to him in physical terms and he wailed and crumpled himself on the floor clutching his stomach. But he knew Mark was imagining things, and it wasn't his fault. He never broke the rules and the one time he did, he got himself into the tunnel. The instructor looked very disappointed at the sight of Mark gritting his teeth during the fight but later got confused over how Mark panicked Mark seemed after his impulsive action. They both sure owed him an explanation but now Mark moved away from the area and was alone with Donghyuck near the restroom.

"MOVE, I DONT WANNA TALK!" Mark shoved away from his hand on his own and used it to cover his almost teary face and leaned his head on the bench.

Donghyuck gently pressed his fingers on his shoulders and sat down beside him, his other hand supporting the position of the hot pack on his stomach, "Mark, I know it's by mistake. I know you won't hurt me deliberately."

Donghyuck's tone was convincing and soft but Mark couldn't untangle himself in the mess he created himself. He was kind of crying by then, "Hyuck, i- am sorry for first- i- I don't know why-" he whimpered, "I punched you-"

"And it's by mistake. Why don't you understand it for god's sake?"

"Because I hurt you. I don't know, why I'm behaving like this. It's really overbearing, and, i- sometimes I don't know why I get violent like this, it's like- like I'm losing my guard over my own body. I can't handle this anymore. And it really sucks. I don't know what's happening with me these days. I'm not coming here over ever again. I dont want this karate and all. That's it-"

Donghyuck felt bad. He got worried about how weak Mark was getting anxious about his surroundings and he can't even control himself now. 

"Mark, it's gonna be alright. Trust me-"

"I Don't know, Hyuck. And I don't really wanna know. AND I CAN'T EVEN TRUST MYSELF, THIS IS TOO MUCH. JUST MOVE AWAY, I DONT WANNA TALK"

"but-"

"LEAVE ME ALONE"

Donghyuck hesitantly stood up from the bench and kneeled down keeping his head low to Mark's level who wasn't ready to show his worried face, "Mark, listen. I understand you need space right now, so I will leave. But make sure you speak to our teacher okay? I promise he will understand. Apologize to him properly and tell him that we won't come here from tomorrow." He slowly held Mark's left hand and spoke again, "And, I'm sorry for forcing this onto you. We dont need to continue this okay? But please dont ignore things. Please talk to him."

Mark sighed and a drop of sweat was pulled on his shirt and Donghyuck took his permit to leave.

_____

"Remember, Mark. I understand you did it by mistake. Donghyuck told me, its nothing to be embarrassed about. We all make mistakes. But I want you to remember one thing, karate is meant for self-defense, not attacking the oppressor. Our motives shouldn't appear in the path of protecting ourselves or the respective community. Karate is an art that should be respected and we must take pride in ourselves for being able to learn this activity. We must not hinder the regulations instructed as that would take out the soul meaning of it. Hope you got it."

Mark sat on the couch as he did his homework as Taeyong cooked the dinner in the kitchen, but his teacher's words wouldn't stop ringing in his ears. He had enough guilt pouring on him since the past hours but he didn't get to apologize to Donghyuck properly. Why was Donghyuck pretending as if everything was fine when it wasn't? He slammed the book on the lampstand pressed his fingers on his eyes to rub them. 

Tears didn't stop commencing his eyes and used the hem of his shirt to wipe them. He was fed up with all the things happening around him. Every day opened new challenges before him and Mark always failed. He wasn't able to control himself and observed how irritated over the simplest things and became adamant for everything said to him. He didn't fancy the change and the study stress took him all over. He couldn't manage his time and his head throbbed like crazy. He took the yellow stress ball and squeezed it to relieve the exhaustion but he only ripped it off in the process. 

The pieces were still there reminding of a monster he has become. An uncontrollable monster, even by himself. He jolted the hands on the table causing a huge thud causing Taeyong to halt away from the kitchen and came to the hall. He was shocked as he saw Mark facing his palms opposite and pressed the sides on his nose as his tears bowled up in his eyes damping the whole face. He sniffed loudly folded his legs close to the body hugging his stomach. 

Taeyong immediately went to the kitchen and brought the ice cube box and sat near Mark. Mark looked surprised at first watching over his worried face and the reason for worry was himself. Mark cried again but with more intensity and clenched his fists together and Taeyong pulled his shoulders asking him to face him.

He handed him the ice cube to Mark's hand making Mark question the ridicule over giving him a piece of ice when he was literally crying. He denied the request and bent his head down but Taeyong took his hand and kept the cold object on his palm causing him to shiver.

"Just do what I say, have it."

Mark scoffed but did as told and put the ice inside the mouth and bit it to chew it. He shivered with the contact of the cold substance with his gums and insides of the mouth but finished it eventually. Taeyong gave him another one and asked him to repeat the process four or five times. He felt his mouth wetting and getting hydrated and it was as if the cold of the ice shocked his system bringing him back to the physical world, drawing him to focus on the cold sensation. 

Eventually, after doing the thing for five more minutes his sobs died down and he faced Taeyong with the serious expression and arms folded. He asked, "Are you fine now?"

Mark didn't waste a second and launch himself on Taeyong, "Hyung, I don't know what's happening with me right now, today i- I punched him-"

"I know, Donghyuck told me." Taeyong rubbed his back as Mark's hands roamed around his own, the chilly effect causing him to flinch but he kept his hold on him tightly. He allowed Mark to speak to let out his exasperation, "Hyung, I swear I didn't do it deliberately I don't know what I was thinking at that time-"

"Shush, relax. It's okay. No one is mad at you and you dont need to be yourself. We trust you. I trust you, Donghyuck does. Dont be afraid. We are here, always."

Mark hugged him tighter and buried his head onto his chest to cry silently. This time, Taeyong was Silent and spoke nothing filling the room with his sniffles. Gradually, his sobs died down as Taeyong's hand grazed his back and when he pulled away, Taeyong said, "Relax, I'll be back after dinner okay?"

Mark nodded and sat down as Taeyong left. He opened his phone and typed the sequences of the day in his email.

"14 November, 

Today I punched Donghyuck....

_____

Mark switched his phone off in frustration and closed his eyes. If only life was as easy as to cook magical recipes or flick wands just to save a day. Mark really wished if he had a chance to relive that one damned day. That whole day was one of the worst he had ever handled. Donghyuck must’ve been so hurt and he also knew that his punch was really hurtful. Today was going to keep him guilty for the rest of his life. 

Mark knew he didn’t deserve someone like Donghyuck. There was so much he went through for Mark and he could only pay him back by hurting him. 

“What do you want for dinner?” Taeyong asked, interrupting his thoughts. 

Mark didn’t want to rush, for the starters, he was guilty and for the main course, he was feeling dead and dessert was he wanted Donghyuck to get well soon. 

“Anything.” He screamed.

After fighting a lot with his thoughts he ended up sending an “I ruined your day. I’m so sorry, Donghyuck. Please take care of yourself.” text to him. This was such a worst example of an apology from a boyfriend and for sure this wasn't enough. 

_____

Donghyuck groaned for the nth time that day earning a glare from Chenle. 

“You..” he began. “I told you not to attend those bloody classes. But when does your bacteria sized brain listen?!” 

Donghyuck rolled his eyes. After his mother’s rants, Chenle wasn’t the first one to say this and Donghyuck was already sick and tired of them.

“Leave it,” Donghyuck mumbled softly groaning in pain again. 

“Does it still hurt?” Chele asked with concern as he climbed up the bed. 

“Oh of course it doesn't! My tummy looks like a punching bag so you can play with it. You want to try too?” Donghyuck expressed with sarcasm and irritation.

“Quit that attitude. Why are you acting as if I asked you to join those classes?” 

“Fine, it’s all me, I got this to myself. Satisfied?” Donghyuck muttered. Getting punched by his own boyfriend and later suffering in silence, this was so convenient that even he didn't want to buy it. 

Chenle felt bad for his brother, more than Donghyuck that Mark didn't even show up for him or take care of him. At least Mark could do that for his boyfriend, What was so important other than being there for someone whom you hurt. Chenle held Donghyuck’s shoulders and back, pressing and squeezing for him to relax. 

For Donghyuck, it felt like heaven. Of all this week’s karate, just for once, it felt as if those muscles were collectively taking revenge on him. But he was glad at least Chenle understood his pain. He was happy to know he was there if not Mark. 

Donghyuck did see Mark’s message that he was sorry. “Mark hyung should be more careful. And I can’t believe he just left.” Chenle scoffed. “And what’s with that text? Few words that he’s sorry, isn’t going to compensate for the pain you are feeling.” 

“Chenle-ya, he must be going through a lot by himself with his anxiety-” Donghyuck's eyes suddenly widened with the words slip. “I mean, his University pressure and all…” he covered up. 

“Stop it. You know it’s such a rubbish reason. You, me, every student has a problem but for that, you can’t put an ‘I’m stressed’ card to get away from anything especially after punching someone out of the blue.” 

”So what do you want me to do? Ask for a proper apology? I don’t even want one as long as I know he cares-” 

“I don’t see it. Caring for you. But anyway, I don’t want you to go there again if Mark is going to be your partner. Stay still, I'll be right back.” 

Mark was never attending there and he knew it. But on the other hand, even Donghyuck wanted him to be there for him. And those few words of apology didn't help either way. 

He could only reply to Mark saying it was okay. But on the inner side, Donghyuck couldn’t deny that little inconvenience about Mark in his heart.

_____

Donghyuck was back into his typical energetic self after a few days. That punch felt like usual injuries at football but with little more impact. But whatever it felt, he thought it’s good that he was recovering soon. 

The thing that bothered Donghyuck a lot was about the fact that Mark and he rarely hang out. Donghyuck missed his music classes because he was tired and distance from Mark increased. Donghyuck thought their conversations turned too small and boring which he no longer had the interest to keep up. 

He saw Mark in the university ground playing or teaching Lucas in the lunch. He seemed pretty occupied with all the University stuff, at least that’s what Donghyuck saw. He started to wonder since when Mark became short-tempered and getting irritated at small things. Even though they didn’t hang out, Donghyuck believed Mark changed a lot and seemed like someone who was not his old self.

“Donghyuck, you need to be serious about this, your scales are really off today.” Mark was now getting dissatisfied with Donghyuck's small attention span and repeated mistakes. On the other hand, Donghyuck was not even in the mood to take music seriously today. “We need to practice today,” Mark demanded.

When Donghyuck and Mark reached home, Mark immediately took his guitar out. 

“I’m hungry. Can you make me a grilled cheese sandwich?” Donghyuck asked with a pout. 

“You don’t want to practice do you?” Mark questioned to which Donghyuck just casually shook his head as no. “You know you’ve got a competition next month, right? How can you be irresponsible?” Mark really was getting frustrated by Donghyuck's behavior.

“Chill. We have it next month, why are you acting as if it’s tomorrow?” 

“I would’ve been chill if you were not messing up with the lyrics and the scales. But look at you-” Mark raised his voice. He was not in an intention to keep back the anger that was radiating inside him. “-You should start taking things seriously. Not everything is for fun.” 

“And you shouting at me isn’t helping, okay? I’m tired and my throat hurts. Big deal? Can’t you give me time?” Donghyuck argued. “You should stop shouting at everyone just because you are irritated with your own stuff. I saw you with Lucas today, seriously what’s with you? It's as if I'm looking at a new person.” 

Mark remained quiet and quite surprised. And he didn't know the answer.

“You are not carrying your stress ball with you, are you?” Donghyuck questioned. Mark decided to keep quiet again. Well, things turned the other way real quick. “I'm not talking with the walls, Mark.” 

“I- um it's actually ruined.” Mark stammered. 

“It's what?”

“I-ts- not a big deal, we can get another one,” Mark said hesitantly.

“That’s not the point. A stress ball is made to reduce your stress and not to take your stress out at it.” Donghyuck explained, baffled by his explanation.

“It was an accident. I didn’t mean to.” Mark supported himself. 

Donghyuck nodded, closing his eyes, as he felt equally frustrated. “Okay, I understand and whatever but-”

“No! stop saying you understand everything, Donghyuck. You don’t and you know nothing. You clearly just say what comes to your mind and nothing works.” Mark couldn't stand himself by getting explained by the people around him when they didn't know the shit happening with himself. 

Donghyuck was taken aback by his sudden outburst. He didn't clearly get what Mark meant and didn't like the way the conversation was turning out already. And Donghyuck was not going to stop himself, yes he can't understand certain things but he's trying his best too. 

“Yes, I do say what comes to my mind at least with a hope that would help you. But clearly not putting your mind in the right state and shouting at everyone is definitely not going to solve shit.” Donghyuck let out.

“What do you want me to do then? I did everything that was supposed to help but nothing did.”

“So? I am to be blamed? You are out of your mind, Mark. And I’m clearly not able to see what your point is. You said you wanted space and left me alone. I don’t know how much it helped you but I see no progress. I told you a zillion times not to keep things in your head but you never listen.” 

“Clearly, talking it out isn’t helping me either. I don’t see progress.”

“Unlike now, there were times we hung out together, you don't even do that these days.”

Mark and Donghyuck were still fuming with anger. There were some minutes of silence until Mark’s phone buzzed which was visible to Donghyuck. 

“Since when Chenle started talking to you?” Donghyuck asked in confusion looking at the message ID. “Donghyuck hyung is now feeling better.” Donghyuck read out the text. “Why can’t you ask me directly? Why is Chenle coming in-between?” 

Mark just shrugged. “I don’t have a proper answer for that.” 

Donghyuck scoffed. “I can’t believe this, Mark. Next time when you want to practice, ask Chenle about it. I don’t see what you are thinking, but you better know, I can't deal with this. When you are ready, you better come with a proper answer. And also you will pay a big price for all this stupidity.” 

Donghyuck stomped into his house while he ran to his room taking his shirt off, throwing his phone on the bed, and walked into the bathroom closing it with a loud thud.

Chenle scratched his head while his father was surprised by Donghyuck's behavior. Chenle never saw his father putting his book down watching the others losing their minds, but he laughed loudly as his father looked defeated. 

“Did something happen?” his mother asked.

“Hyung is just going through adult crises, Mum. Don't bother. What's for dinner?” 

Donghyuck felt calming down as the cold water ran through his body.  
Donghyuck hated the fact that they came this far together just to act like this. He missed him, it was hard to walk away like all of this was easy. He wanted them to fight, talk to each other, and argue. He didn't know what went wrong or what just happened, he just wanted time to heal both of them and Mark's mind too.

Mark sighed burying his head in his arms. He didn't know but many things felt wrong. It was unusual for himself to get angry frequently. His mind seemed revolving around his Uncle making him more frustrated. He wanted all those thoughts to stop and he didn't want to be like his Uncle, hurting people around him.

He didn’t want to hurt Donghyuck anytime in the future. He was thankful that he ran into Chenle the other day to make a move to have a close watch on Donghyuck. And Mark was not ready to face him with this cliché reason that he was distancing himself because he wants to keep him safe. He just didn't want to be around him when he himself was all confused and messed up. Moreover, he knows how much words hurt.

Mark realized how much they came forward since the last few days that their conversations turned so dry and boring. Mark knew he was the one who was to be blamed but it’s not the time for that. Mark slowly realized why it was new for everyone to see him lose his cool. But thinking about it, his past self was made for good and he wanted to stay himself, the unproblematic self. 

When he apologized to Lucas about his behavior, Lucas went on to give him a wide smile. “It's okay man. Friends don't apologize. You're a good teacher.” 

That evening Taeyong handed him back a smiley sponge ball. Looking at it this time he was positive. That smile made him smile back. He was going to use it well this time. Mark decided to keep himself away from human interaction. He just wanted time for him. Surprisingly, writing to himself was not a bad idea. Whenever Mark wrote an email and sent it to himself, it made him relaxed, as if his own self understood him. Being alone was not a bad idea too. Going out for bike rides and his earphones screaming his favorite songs and his favorite books on a rainy evening was all fun. 

Playing basketball with Chenle and Jisung made his day. “These kids were really painkillers.” He always thought. 

And he also felt like he was getting close with Chenle and he knew Chenle liked him as much as he did. Chenle's quick adaptation to his personality made them close real fast. But the only thing Mark needed to solve was Donghyuck. He knew Donghyuck wanted time too. He was going to talk to him, soon. And with a proper explanation.

As for Chenle, he was positive that Donghyuck chose the right guy. When he met Mark for the first time, he seemed pretty much dead too just like his brother. He shrugged it off thinking they needed time and he knew both of them are not going to give up on each other. And Marks' supportive behavior made him like Mark and hang out with or get close with him. Chenle always saw Mark as that cool foreigner and learned a lot of new English stuff from him.

_____

When Mark was packing his guitar after the music class, he felt someone standing behind him. 

“Hai. Good evening, Hyung.” Chenle said with a wide smile. 

Mark smiled widely giving a bro hug to Chenle and fist bump to Jisung. It’s amazing how they modified his energy levels that made Mark completely forget about his stress. 

“So, it’s my birthday tomorrow, so I’m throwing a party, hope you come and catch it well,” Chenle said. 

“Oh. Of course, I’ll be there…to catch the party well.” 

“And I hope you solve problems with my brother too. I know he’s such a loser without me, but trust me, he still loves you a lot.” Chenle added with a sincere nod. “See you soon bighead.” 

Mark awkwardly chuckled with confusion. “Big what?” 

“Bighead. Didn’t Donghyuck hyung tell you that we are the team of-” 

“Chenle-yah! Hyung, he just talks nonsense.” Jisung interrupted Chenle, dragging him away 

“-Team of Big heads, Jisung 1, me 2 and you 3.” His voice lessened while Jisung dragged him out of the classroom screaming he will look forward to him tomorrow. 

“They’re cute.” Mark thought to himself and chuckled. 

_____

“No, that’s not where the P was supposed to go, you idiot-” Renjun and Donghyuck soon got into a childish argument.

After setting everything, Donghyuck looked at the wall admiring his work. 

“Birthday Happy? Isn’t that other way around?” Jeno said standing beside Donghyuck while Donghyuck glared at him. 

When Mark entered the house, he expected a lot of new people but the reality was Chenle didn’t make the party very big. They were a few of them he met at his basketball practice with Jeno Jaemin and Renjun. Donghyuck was nowhere seen.

He spotted Jisung and Chenle in the verandah sitting on the grass playing chess. When Chenle adjusted his hair he saw Mark and smiled widely. 

“Hyung!” he screamed and ran towards him, squeezing him into a hug. 

“Happy birthday, Chenle-ya,” Mark said while he heard Chenle giggle which he took as a thank you. 

It was not very late until Chenle dragged Mark towards their garden to tell Mark that he was very much interested in plants and every year he plants one on his birthday. 

“I’m planning on planting roses this year. Because last year Donghyuck stepped on the plant while we were playing here. I don’t deserve such an inhuman brother.” Mark chuckled his heart out while Jisung was warning Chenle to keep his voice down. 

Donghyuck and his best friends were sitting on the kitchen counter looking at the garden where Chenle, Jisung, and Mark were talking.

“Ooh! I didn’t know Chenle and Mark were close. He never lets me touch his plants for once now he’s giving a free show to Mark with explanation?” Jaemin asked, taking a bite of his choco-chip cookies.

“That’s because he knew y’all would not let those plants live if he let you have liberty,” Renjun said, taking Chenle’s side.

“Mark hyung is fast with family bonding huh?” Jaemin added, ignoring Renjun's satire. 

“Indeed.” Jeno replied. 

Donghyuck rolled his eyes. “I'm sure he’s bad-mouthing about me with Mark. It was just the other day he was being supportive towards me and the next day the reality is he has been practicing with Mark.”  
Donghyuck scoffed. “Two-faced Dolphin.” 

Donghyuck could see that Chenle did not even stop talking about the rooftop plants in their grandmother’s house and it was his idea and blabbering about the garden on their terrace. Moments later, all were screaming their lungs out when Mr. Lee came home with a big cake in his hands along with Mrs. Lee.

“Taeyong-ie hyung?” Donghyuck said, confused. Mark’s face wasn’t any different.

“Mark's got a neighbor, huh?” Jeno said. 

“So do I. He isn't special.” Jaemin scoffed as he looked at Jeno promoting him to look back at him. 

“I mean as his friend, Nana,” Jeno said as he slipped his hands around Jaemin's waist and pulled him closer.

“Can you both shut the fuck up?” Renjun said, disgusted while the other two didn't stop. “I'm going to bleach my eyes after this, Jesus.” 

Donghyuck was horrified when he saw Chenle dragging Mark towards their parents. “Oh no! This isn’t going well..” Donghyuck ran into his garden.

“Mom and Dad, this is Mark Hyung,” Chenle said with a wide smile. Mark stood petrified then and there not seeing this coming. He smiled awkwardly while his mom smiled back and Mr. Lee gave him a shoulder pat. “You don’t recognize him? He’s from the same University. English lit.” Chenle introduced further.

“Of course, I heard a lot from Mr. Doyoung. He speaks very highly of you.” She said looking at Mark. Mark then realized the love Chenle had reached a stage where now he looked a little obsessed with him. 

“How did you both meet?”His mother asked with curiosity. Mark gulped in fear. Mark did love Chenle a lot, but not his big mouth.

“Oh well you know, Donghyuck hyung and Mark hyung are-”

“-We are really close.” Donghyuck took over Chenle immediately, not letting him slip anything. “He’s my music partner. Also helps me with English. And you need to help Jaemin-ie with the dessert. You know I can’t make desserts.” Donghyuck switched the topic and left his mom with Jaemin. 

“Wait till the clock ticks 12 tonight!” Donghyuck warned Chenle while Chenle let out an evil smirk.  
Mark stood there completely unaware of what was happening while Mr. Lee was monitoring the situation. Taeyong was trying not to smile in the corner. 

Mark and Donghyuck let out a sigh of relief after the atmosphere seemed pretty much cool just like the weather today. 

“Let me get you something to drink,” Donghyuck said to his father and Taeyong. 

“Can I help you?” Mark added, immediately earning glares from Donghyuck. 

“I don’t think I would need it,” Donghyuck said with a poker face.

“No, we are fine. Why don’t you give him a house tour?” Taeyong said with a plastic smile. 

“oh wow. I would love that.” Mark said with an eye beaming smile while he looked towards Donghyuck. Donghyuck exhaled loudly and dragged his feet inside his house and Mark followed him cutely jogging behind him.

“House tour huh?” Mr. Lee whispered quietly. Taeyong cleared his throat. 

“They are close friends, right. And by the way sir, I wanted to talk about the patient next lane.” 

_____

Donghyuck explained about his house robotically with hand moments reminding him of the air hostess explaining about the seatbelts.

“Oh um, cool. But I don't think this is a house tour. Hey, show me Chenle's rooftop arrangements.” Mark asked with a small pout. “Please?” 

Donghyuck rolled his eyes and stomped his feet walking upstairs and Mark followed him. It was silent for a moment after they reached upstairs. 

“Donghyuck, we need to talk,” Mark said, taking a deep breath in. He didn’t know how Donghyuck was feeling but he decided to speak. 

“I’m really sorry, Donghyuck. I know I shouldn’t have talked to you in that way, or ignored you for all the days and did not stay beside you when you needed the most. I completely get it why you are angry and I deserve this. Trust me, I was not myself the whole week, I hurt you, I hurt Lucas and maybe Taeyong-ie hyung. I’m sorry for saying that you talk but don’t mean anything or don’t understand me. You know that’s a lie too. I can’t afford to lose you but I hope you know that I love you more than anything in this world. Donghyuck-ah, I know you are disappointed, but can I get another chance? I promise I won’t act the same ever again.” 

Mark exhaled. And so did Donghyuck. While Mark looked at Donghyuck waiting for him to talk, Donghyuck didn’t dare to look at Mark’s face. 

“Although I can't apologize for scolding you during practice, I'll make you a grilled cheese sandwich next time. I promise.” Mark added. Donghyuck giggles interrupted the silence around.

“You are such an idiot. Do you know that?” Donghyuck said. 

“If you say so,” Mark said with a smile. Mark intertwined his hands with the younger taking him to his chest. “I missed you so much.” 

“Me too. And I'm sorry too, for shouting at you and for that Karate idea.” Donghyuck felt his heart pounding against his chest after feeling the familiar scent after so long. Both of them felt tiny white atoms falling from the heavens. Donghyuck broke the hug immediately.

“It’s the first snow of the year.” He said, excitedly. “You know what this means?” Mark shook his head as no. “First snow signifies we are going to be together forever,” Donghyuck said looking back at the sky as the fall became heavier.

“Oh yeah. The last few dramas I watched with Taeyongie hyung had said the same thing. You are so like those fairy tales.” Mark said giggling. “And do you know what’s going to happen if we stay for too long?” 

Donghyuck lifted his eyebrows asking what. “We are going to catch a cold. Let’s go inside shall we?” 

Donghyuck held Mark’s wrist and Mark stopped him. “No, let’s go in-” 

“Shhh. Why can’t you shut that mouth of yours for a minute?” Donghyuck said, adjusting Mark’s hair while he wrapped his hands around his waist. “You look really good today, you know that?” Donghyuck said softly, as he smiled caressing Mark’s face with his softly. Mark locked Donghyuck in his arms reducing the small gap they had between them earning soft giggles from Donghyuck. 

Mark parted his lips when he let Donghyuck kiss him softly. The rush of positive and a feeling of completeness surrounded Mark when the kiss got deeper every minute. Mark let his fingers run through Donghyuck’s long hair getting out of breath on the other. 

Donghyuck's heart pounded at a much faster pace asking him not to stop. Mark broke the kiss breathing heavily while Donghyuck chuckled.  
“How is my baby belly now?” he asked after his breath settled. Donghyuck's eyes widened. 

“I am not letting you touch my baby belly,” Donghyuck said, backing off while Mark locked him in his arms. Donghyuck was about to say something when Jisung interrupted them. 

“Hyung, are you both up there? It’s cake cutting time” he screamed. 

_____

“No can make this better than Donghyuck hyung,” Chenle said appreciating the lunch. “Best. birthday. ever.”

All of them chuckled collectively. 

“What are your plans for the weekend?” Mark asked quietly after the party. 

“Chilling. But, I think I need to study too. Not much though.” Donghyuck replied. 

“Wanna hang out at my place then?” 

“Um, about that…” Donghyuck hesitated. “I think no. After the days you have ignored me and didn’t stay with me when I was dying because of your punch, I came to the conclusion that I’m going to do a mini social distancing from you. So, meet you on Monday at the music class?” 

“This isn’t fair-” 

“Mark, are you coming?” Taeyong screamed, interrupting their conversation.

“Everything is fair in love and war baby. Bye.” 

_____

“Do you think Mark Hyung is going to survive this weekend,” Chenle said, putting away the basketball that Jisung gifted him.

“He should. He should know how to have fun without me. By the way, what did he give you?” Donghyuck asked as Chenle fell on the mattress. “A wristwatch. He said it shows everything. I mean, it’s a stopwatch, it counts the number of steps you walk.” 

After Chenle's gift opening ceremony, Donghyuck asked, “So, ready for our late night movie marathon?”

“Always!” Chenle screamed back.

_____

"Donghyuck, you wanna listen to this?" Mark clasped his hands in excitement and saw Donghyuck's annoyed expression.

"No!" Donghyuck bluntly said because of feeling his mind roasted by the weird jokes Mark told him. And Donghyuck sighed thinking it was the 10th one in the day.

"Okay tell me, why don't eggs tell jokes?"

Taeyong moving his thumb on the phone screen mumbled disinterestedly, "Because they listen to their boyfriend when told that they shouldn't tell jokes anymore."

Mark rasped but Donghyuck just snickered, however, Mark continued, "Because they would crack up." Mark laughed catching his stomach only to see Donghyuck and Taeyong not alarmed and just glaring at him so he sat down holding his guitar but still smiling because of the joke.

Donghyuck remarked, "I don't know about the jOkE you made but it's funny how you can neither crack an egg nor a joke."

Taeyong favored him with his argument by faking a cry, "Trust me, Mr.Lee's jokes are better..."

Donghyuck retorted, "No, both of them can't be compared... The other day I asked him to put my shoe on and he replied that they wouldn't fit him.."

"That's still better.. Imagine I have to deal with this idiot every day" Taeyong argued.

Both of them sighed dramatically and Mark had the urge to speak up, "Now, stop insulting me already, " he narrowed his eyebrows and folded his arms, "Hyung, I'm hungry, please make sandwiches...."

Taeyong threw his phone on the couch, "Yeah, you both treat me like servants.."

Donghyuck laughed and said, "Oh please that's better than third wheeling a couple...Try studying with Jeno and Jaemin."

All of them laughed as Taeyong left towards the kitchen. Mark spoke suddenly in a serious tone, "Donghyuck, I need to tell you, something, " as the younger hummed.

_____

"Mark, I'm just just visiting your parents, its not an official meeting, stupid" Donghyuck let out angrily as Mark asked him of why he was wearing casual clothing instead of a formal one.

"I told you because it's the first time... And don't be sarcastic... Be polite." Mark scoffed.

"And you don't be a jerk. You wouldn't want your parents to witness their son being kicked by his boyfriend. And please, I'm polite with adults." Donghyuck side-eyed him as he adjusted his watch on his wrist. 

Both of them suddenly flinched as a voice interrupted their bicker. "Please be polite to my son too, Donghyuck." A middle-aged woman came to the hall with a fair face and a bright smile.

Donghyuck bowed to greet her, "G-good evening Mrs.Lee." He stammered feeling timid as Mark's mother heard their conversation.

Mark smiled casually, "Mom, I told you right, this is Donghyuck, " he pointed at the younger male beside him, "my boy-"

"Your boyfriend who threatened to kick you in front of your parents." She folded her arms around her chest as he said that but the smile never leaving her face. But Donghyuck couldn't help but feel embarrassed, "you heard everything?"

She nodded still laughing. 

"S-sorry.."

"It's okay sweetheart, the way you fought was weirdly funny, trust me." Donghyuck awkwardly chuckled while Mark just giggled.

The woman motioned her hand towards the side, "Okay, let's have food... I kept Mark starving for having invited you for dinner." 

They nodded and headed towards the dining table. Donghyuck had the pleasure of spending time with Mark's parents, they were as sweet as him. He wondered how Mark would meet his parents; it was weird because his mother was a teacher and his father was Mark's doctor but still believed it would be fine. 

Mark's parents were really jovial and very delighted to meet Donghyuck and also supported their relationship. It made Donghyuck even more contended and smiled everytime Mark did. They were religious, quite understandable where Mark got it from. They enquired about how they met and got together, they said everything except the anxiety part, obviously. Mark was very excited to tell about his English subject and felt happy that he could speak confidently about it with his parents. He felt happy how they seemed like a normal family where he could share his interests with his parents, now, including Donghyuck. Making Donghyuck meet his parents was like a gradation in their relationship and that was beautiful for both of them. 

"This is the photo when he was studying, or say posing for the photo as he was studying, " Mark's father pointed at the polaroid and showed it to Donghyuck still laughing. Donghyuck drooled inwardly over how cute Mark was in his childhood. His shy smile appeared to change less and cute small nose which would probably perish if he sneezed. Mark would get a proper hearing for not showing his photos to Donghyuck and the younger didn't hesitate to declare to his parents that he would want Mark to be his child if not his boyfriend. Mark covered his face in embarrassment while the elders just laughed.

The childhood tales of Mark were very interesting for Donghyuck and nostalgic for Mark. The smile never left his lips in the whole session from when Donghyuck was very excited to meet his parents and when they finally came from Canada and talked to each other. He explained Donghyuck of their garden in front of their house and it was the favorite place for him and his grandfather. However, his grandfather was with him only until the age of ten as nature had the other plans for the departed soul.

Mark twirled his hands recklessly in the air as he spoke, "you know when I was a baby-"

"You are still a baby," Donghyuck whispered but loud enough for everyone to hear. Mark's mother just teased Mark in return and his father just covered his face trying not to laugh. Donghyuck couldn't be blamed for telling the truth, could he?

This time, Donghyuck muttered softly in his ears, "Don't smile too much, love, Your cheeks will hurt. Save your cheeks for when I pinch them, " but Mark smiled only wider. 

It was odd yet nice how they talked about Mark to him and Donghyuck really felt overwhelmed receiving love and being welcomed in their little family. Mark's father was sweet and their accented Korean seemed funny but he didn't complain. He enquired about Johnny and the old man said that he was busy with the office stuff and would visit them in the new year's time.

"hmm, wow," Donghyuck hummed while chewing the food Mark's mother prepared. "Mrs.Lee, I wonder if Mark is your son because he can't cook at all while you appear to be gordon ramsay's spirit."

Mark glared at him for the pitiful accusation placed against while Mrs.Lee snickered and said heartily, "Son, Donghyuck is not lying."

Mark glanced unbelievably at his mother, "Even you-"

"Stupid fellow, just eat your food." His father playfully patting his shoulder and everyone laughed at him, and now, including Mark.

Donghyuck followed Mark's mother and insisted on helping her even though she refused. She washed her hand as she put the last container in the sink. 

"Thank you, Donghyuck. It's a great help."

Donghyuck smiled in assurance, "My pleasure. Since I'm the elder sibling in my house, I'm used to all this."

"Thank you."

"It's just the cleaning, no problem."

"No, I mean, Thank you for... Everything. For being with Mark, supporting him, and not judging him for lying to us... Everything. I know, it must be you who has enforced him to call us that day."

"No, it's nothing like that... I helped Mark because I love him, I'm not a stranger. I only stayed by his side because I wanted him by my side too."

She just smiled and pinched his cheek, "I didn't expect you to be wise considering your age. I'm happy Mark has you, I don't need to be worried about him."

Donghyuck chuckled but turned serious and a question roamed in his mind. He was hesitant to ask it directly, "C-can I ask something?"

"Yeah, sure. You can be free."

"When Mark told you that he was studying English, how did you react? Like, I know, Mark told me it went fine but I'm just curious."

She said with a serious tone which seemed more remorseful, "It was easy to forgive others when you can't forgive yourself, I can say"

"I don't get it."

"We knew about Mark, just a week before. Johnny told us, don't scold him now," she chuckled dryly, "He just slipped his tongue one day so he said everything. We were agitated, not because he didn't choose business but because he chose English. I know, this seems a bit stupid to you, but we don't have any problem with him studying the language. We were just worried, that he wouldn't be able to make a good career. I said the same thing to Johnny but he scolded me. He said that our Mark is different because his skills are outstanding. Who were we lying, he was brilliant since schooling. The teachers always admired him, it's just we who didn't take the hint."

Donghyuck stared a bit shocked but composed himself, "Maybe, it's just the thinking we carried from generations. We often associate writing as a side activity or done out of boredom. But to be honest, it is nothing of that. Neither career nor a hobby, it's passion. Mark loves it and as long he is happy, then I am; we all are." He smiled at a beautiful memory, "he told me once, he writes because he feels as if someone is listening to him, or at least listening to himself."

"And I promise in front you, that, we will encourage him emotionally, manually and economically; that's the least we can do to compensate."

"It's completely fine. If we actually look into it, it was also Mark's hesitation that got him into this. He is very nice to everyone, sometimes, it's annoying." He jokes and Mrs.Lee reciprocates.

Donghyuck continues, "He just doesn't complain at all... It's shocking. And I know, he kept that thing as a secret as he thought it would hurt you."

"He just overthinks... A lot."

"I can agree. But it's just something about Mark that makes us want to love him more. We fought a real lot of times but it's just- I don't know.. It makes me want to forgive him. I won't give up on him, never, like, literally never."

"I'm very happy to see you both like this. It just warms our heart. I have felt Mark was unlucky for not having supportive people but now I feel Mark is lucky to have you."

Donghyuck nodded and smiled, "The actual truth is we are all lucky to have Mark around. This is what he deserves, parents who smile at his joy and a beautiful partner for himself. So Mark is lucky by himself and we are all lucky."

Mark's mother was near tears at the sincere explanation and just hugs Donghyuck patting his hair. Donghyuck returned the hug and closed his eyes satisfied. 

Pulling away, the woman beamed a smile at him.

"You are just so- I am very thankful to you. I definitely owe you so much."

"I have your son already." Donghyuck said playfully and smiling cheekily.

"Definitely." And both of them laughed for the nth time.

Christmas eve came earlier than they wished but the couple couldn't get happier. Mark hung out with his and Donghyuck's friends for the holiday and clicked pictures. Elation was the mutual feeling they experienced, whether with each other or their friends. 

Mark was very active in the festivity preparations and gladly went to the church on the 25th. Donghyuck dressed in new clothes for the festival and headed to the church along with the whole family. Chenle appreciated for his handsome looks and Donghyuck only smirked but told him he was handsome too when Chenle scowled.

He adjusted his tie as he reached the church and wiped his black coat until he saw something- or someone.

"Mark?" Donghyuck was surprised as he saw in the same place. He curved up a smile involuntarily and winked at Mark as Mark mouthed 'Merry Christmas' from the distance. Chenle bumped his shoulder against his arm and spoke in Donghyuck's ears, "you both have matching suits... I smell something..."

Donghyuck glared at him not amused, "this was a mere coincidence. I swear it's not planned."

"Yeah, if you say so.'' Chenle gave an evil smirk.

Donghyuck just ignored him and rolled his eyes. He prayed for everyone's well being.

As they came out, Donghyuck's mother asked him, " Is it, Mark? The boy you introduced to me that day?"

Donghyuck replied, "Yes, I guess he came with his parents too-"

"And yeah, it's just a cOiNcIdeNCe" Chenle completed his sentence.

"A very beautiful coincidence I can say." His father maintained eye contact with donghyuck as he spoke which he dismissed with a shake of the head.

_____

"Donghyuck ah, it's not like that. After the second beat, you should move aside so I can enter the stage." Mark repeatedly reminded him of the steps at the backstage waiting for their turn but he just argued back and corrected him.

"Now, stop worrying too much... What's the most that could happen? We won't win the competition, that's it." Donghyuck says in annoyance as Mark kept on pestering him.

"I'm not thinking about winning or losing. It's just that I'm nervous okay? Also, I'm making sure we don't forget." Mark whispered as he adjusted hyuck's mike.

Donghyuck softened his voice this time, "Love, listen. Never has last-minute learning ever helped you right? And don't get nervous, just relax."

Mark hummed and put an arm over the younger as they waited for their name to be announced. When it was finally the time, Donghyuck gave him a thumbs-up as they got onto the stage. Performing with Donghyuck was like a fever dream, he felt so confident and all the stress burnt away in the flame of excitement. They synced properly in the song and it felt like their hard work definitely paid off; they weren't bothered about the result as long as they were satisfied.

Billionaire was a song they sang too often (obviously since they practiced) but singing on stage was entirely different, more rewarding, and energetic. They smiled at each throughout the course as the verses complimented them.

They finished off with their high-five in the outro and met with an encouraging round of applause. 

The results were shortly announced and surprisingly, no one was nervous. Mark and Donghyuck came second at the regional level, they endured what they received, gladly and wholeheartedly. Performing was all that mattered to Mark, and specifically with Donghyuck meant a lot of things to him.

"Yo! Markhyuck did amazing today." Jaemin remarked as he slammed the shared table with the group of his friends including Jisung, Chenle, and Mark. Mark thanked him wholeheartedly and appreciated everyone's effort in the competition, " everyone did well today, Jisung and Chenle, Jeno, Jaemin and yeah, Jaemin's intro in English was the center of attraction."

Jaemin just sat beside Mark and didn't miss an opportunity to hug him as a 'thank you', "Wendy noona helped me tho, even you did, so thank you Markeuri." 

"Nana, your man just two seats away from and you started flirting with someone else, " Renjun hinted with sarcasm as he referred jeno.

"I was just thanking him and hugging isn't flirting." Jaemin pouted much to everybody else's annoyance.

"Move those lips of yours into your goddamn mouth or I am going to slap you," Renjun threatened seriously. 

Everyone laughed except Renjun and the person beside him, Donghyuck. Donghyuck patted his shoulder, "Good job, injun-ah. I'm proud of you."

The Dream friends engrossed themselves in the lovely humorous chats and everyone seemed to enjoy the flow that went through, except for one person.

Mark only stared at Donghyuck continuously at grazed him with affection with looks alone. Donghyuck looked very beautiful with the long hair he had been growing since the past couple of months and the way he sipped the juice sticking to his pink lips and making slurping sounds almost lured Mark away. He had been wanting to talk to the younger since the end of the performance but became very busy. So he just texts him.

Markeuri: Donghyuck, thank you for today

Pudu: aish no! Since when did you start talking formally with me?  
Pudu: why the hell are you even thanking me now?

Markeuri: I just wanted to congratulate ourselves for getting the second place

Pudu: um, fine. Now mark seriously, stop  
Pudu: Dont distract me

Markeuri: LOVE  
Markeuri: DONT IGNORE ME

Pudu: Nah, not now.

Markeuri: you look very beautiful today

Pudu: I'm beautiful every day

Markeuri: oii~ my confident baby uwu

Pudu: Mark, stop

Markeuri: can you kiss me? Pretty please

Pudu: you know what, I'm just gonna not reply. Blabber your gibberish, I won't bother

Markeuri: you can't get away like this... Mark is sad.

Pudu: be sad

Markeuri: Mark is sad, hyuck is bad

Pudu: Hyuck is mad

Markeuri: hyuck is looking hot today.  
Markeuri: sexy baby

Pudu: Sexy and Baby don't go well together  
Pudu: Idiot

Markeuri: You know what goes well together?

Pudu: What?

Markeuri: Mark and Donghyuckie

Donghyuck smirked seeing those messages but didn't reply to them. He just went on with the conversation with Renjun and Jeno as he sipped the juice.

Markeuri: full sun

Markeuri: love, you know what my parents said when I told them about English?

Pudu: now what?

Markeuri: they asked me to do what I love and I love you♥♥

Donghyuck, upon seeing the message retched his breath as he coughed out loud for everyone to gasp in terror at the abrupt inconvenience of Donghyuck. He looked at everyone with the obvious error in their eyes as Jeno caressed his shoulder beside him with a shamelessly grinning Mark in the tow.

"Hyung? What happened?" Chenle consulted as he handed him the water bottle and Donghyuck just couldn't stop glaring at Mark. He would be getting an ethical earshot of his dirty flirtatious attempts towards him. He stared blankly before answering a 'nothing' to Chenle. 

As he drank the water, Mark spoke, "I saw that he was looking at the phone before coughing..." and Renjun immediately took a look on the phone placed on the table. He was going to read it-

"You guys! Stop it..." Donghyuck didn't stop glaring at Mark and immediately snatched the phone away from Renjun's hold, "I just choked, not died." 

Mark bit his lip trying not to laugh as everyone else settled themselves scolding Donghyuck for nagging them. Suddenly, he saw Renjun yanking Donghyuck away from the table.

"Donghyuck, I saw those messages Mark sent you," Renjun said in his friend's ear as they moved out of the table. Donghyuck got horrified at first but starting pleading joining his hands, "Renjun, please don't say this to anyone... I beg you. I know Mark is the only idiot... You aren't one."

Renjun smirked but laughed loudly startling the younger boy. He assured, "it's okay, Hyuck. I was just pulling your leg."

"Please don't tell anybody."

"I won't, don't worry. I was just happy to see you both being together." Renjun's expression softened this time and Donghyuck awkwardly smiled.

"Injun ah!" Donghyuck spoke out, touching the shorter's forehead, "Are you feeling well?"

Renjun shoved his hand away, "shut up, you brat. I'm trying to be nice here."

Donghyuck really doubted that "oh please, the last time I saw you being nice with me is when you apologized for pinching me in front of Yeri." Renjun facepalmed trying not to smile, "Speaking of yeri, how is it going? Now don't give me excuses of 'we are just friends' or I will smack you in front of her as my revenge."

Renjun covered his mouth asking him to speak softly, "I don't know dude... But I think she likes me too."

Donghyuck circled his arms around the other and encouraged him to go on with his love interest. They walked together with interlocked arms until Renjun stopped the taller boy. 

He turned towards his face and pointed at his chin, "your foundation stuck here. Let me,'' and started rubbing the creamy material and Donghyuck closed his eyes with the unexpected hand on his face. When he opened his eyes, both the males saw their faces close to each other and they interlocked their eyes for seconds before saying together.

"Disgusting."

Both Renjun and Donghyuck moved backward jerking off with widened eyes.

"Hahaha" Mark came laughing loudly at this sight at how they cringed at each other. Renjun took his leave chukling awkwardly as he saw the oldest male. Mark raised his hand to pull the angry Donghyuck's shoulder but laughed away when Donghyuck pushed him away.

"Tell me, with what should I hit your face?" Donghyuck said glaring.

Mark placed his index finger on his mouth, "Lips, hit me with your lips." He was still gleaming. Donghyuck groaned before facing his back towards Mark but stopped when Mark pulled his wrist.

Mark held his arm, "okay, listen I'm sorry." But truth be told he was still laughing, and composed himself when Donghyuck looked at him with expectant eyes and folded arms. He took Donghyuck's hand in his own and looked in his eyes straight, "I'm sorry I sent you those kind of messages, but you know that I was just joking right? I swear I was trying to tease you, to bring out reactions from you, and- and you did," a scoff escaped from both of their lips and Donghyuck let out an abrupt laughter and seeing the lighter atmosphere from before Mark continued, "I am sorry okay, but just so you know, I won't force you in anything, that's my promise. You remember right, when I told you a writer always keeps his promise."

Donghyuck smiled at the memory, "If the writer doesn't keep his promise, the lawyer will throw you behind the bars," he said wiggling his eyebrows. Mark smiled and bowed, "With all your laws, your honor!"

Donghyuck slapped his shoulder, "okay, now don't treat me like a child for this-"

"No donghyuck! I mean, you aren't a child for being uncomfortable for this. It is genuine. We have a long way, hyuck and sex is one of the least priorities of our relationship if anyone of us isn't up for it." He commits sincerely.

"I wasn't uncomfortable, It's awkward because we never really talked about it," he commits with a scoff, "Just wait more maybe?" He said in a more questioning way making Mark wonder of how he kept a straight face while saying that but eventually he noticed Donghyuck looking away in embarrassment. Mark chuckled assuring the younger by placing a gentle hold on his shoulder asking him to continue walking and because he didn't want to make the conversation more awkward and uttered which seemed the most accurate.

"Okay"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello people reading this... If you have made this far, its really nice. Hope you look forward for the next chapters as well. Take care♡♡


	4. Destination

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New year brings new prosperity to our life. The couple too, had celebrated the festivity with utmost zeal and love, unlocking the new adventures and phases of life, but many facts unfolded right before them which proved either shocking or eye-opening or both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Another update... This chapter is gonna be a long ride.. Be ready.. Also many tags which are left uncovered are used in this. There could be many disturbing and mature topics here.. If you are sensitive or easily triggered you can skip those.

Donghyuck peacefully enjoyed his last day of the year while his house was calm because Chenle and his mom went for the 'New year shopping' because Chenle forced, while Donghyuck and his father were chilling in his office room. 

He was having fun spending time with his loved ones that made him feel productive and proud, His textbooks and notes until his phone vibrated with a message. 

He took no attention to it and continued with his work until his phone buzzed lightning with a familiar number calling him. 

"Yes, Mark?" Donghyuck said when Mark didn't seem to stop calling him.

"Johnny's here," Mark said, sounding enthusiastic.

"Johnny?" Donghyuck mumbled inaudibly under his breath. 

"Flight was an hour late. But it's worth waiting you know." Mark continued while Donghyuck was still wondering what was happening. 

"Donghyuck? You don't remember about Johnny coming today, do you?" Mark questioned. Donghyuck could hear the disappointment in his voice. 

"Oh, no-no. Of course, I do remember." He said adding a chuckle which was anxious for him but Mark was convinced 

"Cool then. See you here. Johnny is looking forward too."

"Yeah. On my way." Donghyuck said and hung up. 

"What is it?" his father inquired while he was scanning for some book from his shelf. 

"Mark was talking about some guy, Johnny-" Donghyuck paused. "Oh, his brother from Chicago! Oh my god, how did I even forget about him? I'm so dumb!" Donghyuck recklessly packed his stuff and closed his books. 

"Why are you so anxious, my boy?" His father said sitting in his armchair, crossing his legs. "Does Mark know about you forgetting about this?" Donghyuck shook his head as no. 

"I managed, somehow." 

"What are you worried about then? Your mom used to blabber a lot of her family, sisters, and her sister's cousins, it's all in the end about nodding or humming as if you understand. I used to sleep." he said, smugly while Donghyuck scoffed at his father.

"Wow." 

Donghyuck's face soon turned into a fearful one immediately after hearing a feminine voice which obviously belonged to his mom. 

He cleared his throat. 

"Hai M-mom. I hope the shopping went well?" he asked her. She was standing with his hands folded, glaring at his father which reminded Donghyuck about her in the University, while Chenle was behind her with his hands against his mouth holding his laugh. 

"I actually needed to go to Renjun's house to help him because his grandma was coming from Antarctica. B-bye. See you d-dad, if you managed to survive." Donghyuck sneaked from the problem and ran towards his bike. 

\-------

"Antarctica? You are really bad at lying in front of your mom." Mark said chuckling.

"Try talking in front of her. Ugh! My mom is sweet as heaven but also scary as hell." 

When Donghyuck walked inside his house, he could see a non-familiar grown man in the living room sipping his juice while working on his laptop. 

"Dude... I asked you to stop working at least while you are here." Mark let out. Donghyuck was confused with sudden English from Mark. The unfamiliar guy raised his hands in the air like he was giving up. "This is Donghyuck by the way. And Donghyuck this is Johnny, my brother." 

Mark explained the first part in English and the one in Korean. Johnny gave a pleased smile and Donghyuck gave him the same as they shook their hands. 

Donghyuck was surprised at how tall Johnny looked. His mind went woah with his physique and how smart he looked while his smile made him look 10 times younger his age. 

"Finally... I was looking forward to meeting you." He said. 

Donghyuck was amazed that his Korean sounded very good. Better than Mark's parents at least. He was nowhere Donghyuck imagined him to be, Johnny was just beyond his imagination. 

"Me too," Donghyuck responded. Mark pardoned himself because his mother called leaving Johnny and Donghyuck alone. 

Johnny asked him about his education and so Donghyuck did. It was awkward, but it seemed okay. Donghyuck took the time to realize how much both the brothers varied from each other. Johnny seemed much more outgoing and didn't make them feel the age gap as a barrier. Then he understood why Mark didn't address Johnny as a brother or hyung. Donghyuck didn't forget how Mark was insisting upon calling him Hyung.

Donghyuck soon came to know that Johnny was really into a lot of recording vlogs and was interested in shooting videos. Donghyuck liked it when Johnny looked like his spirit animal and really took interest in teasing Mark just like he did. 

When Taeyong arrived, Donghyuck realized that Taeyong and Johnny were a thing. Donghyuck felt good, at least Taeyong was not single. Johnny and Donghyuck soon got a hang of each other and Johnny shared a lot of things about Mark's childhood and how they shot videos when Mark came to Chicago, going ahead to show him a movie-like thing called 'A freaky Handshake' they shot last year when Johnny was in Korea. 

"You better stick to playing guitar, Mark," Donghyuck said after watching Mark's acting skill which Mark let it slide laughing it off.

"Today was better than I expected, and I'm glad I finally got to meet your brother," Donghyuck said delightedly when both were alone. 

Mark hummed in response, placing his head on Donghyuck's shoulder. "I wish we were together alone.." Mark said.

"It's nice meeting you! I enjoyed the time today." Johnny said, shaking their hands when it's time for Donghyuck to leave. 

"Me too," Donghyuck confessed. He wished the rest of the family a happy new year in advance and left the house. 

\------

"Mark's got a good taste huh?"  
Johnny said, flopping on the couch hearing a hum from Taeyong.

"Although I couldn't tell Donghyuck about it, I'm really thankful for him. Mark must've suffered so much coming to a new country, but now he has the support to lean on." Taeyong nodded with a smile. Johnny came towards him to give him a tight hug.

"I wish I was here with you every day too." He mumbled burying his head into his neck snuggling him. 

"Oh my god! Ew...get a room." Mark said covering his eyes.

Taeyong glared at him. "Look who is telling me! As if you don't practically have your face in Donghyuck snogging him every other day. Was I shouting at that time?" he retorted. 

"Wow. My guy grew up a lot." Johnny said, clapping his hands.

"A lot that you won't even recognize that he's your brother," Taeyong argued again. 

"Anyways, we gon' get a room 'cause ma bro said," Johnny said, carrying Taeyong bridal style while Taeyong gasped in shock. "See you at 12!” he screamed. 

“Why are you so light, Yongie? You haven't been eating well?"

Mark struggled to stay up and immediately dozed off after the clock ticked 12 by wishing Happy new year to everyone. 

On the other hand, Donghyuck stayed up happily, waiting for the choco lava cake and other tasty desserts. Finally, Chenle and Donghyuck jumped into the bed, satisfied. Donghyuck texted Mark with 'Happy new year, love' and quickly drifted off to sleep.

\-------

Mark groaned with the rush of messages and calls attacking his mobile. Rubbing his face, he saw 22 missed calls and 40 messages from Donghyuck. When he called him back he could hear him screaming which made Mark flinch holding his phone away from his ear. 

"You lazy deaf ass." he scolded him. Mark giggled and apologized and asked him what was the matter. 

"We need to go out...come outside."

Mark washed his face and brushed his teeth and sneaked out of his house within 10mins. Mark's eyes opened clearly with the chilly air hitting his face, making him hug his jacket tightly against his body.

"What is it?" he signaled Donghyuck who was on the other side of the road. 

"Want to have a race with me?" Donghyuck said, wiggling his eyebrows. "I liked these couple ones. But, it took me like a week with a hundred requests and 1 promise for me to have this from Jeno and Jaemin." Donghyuck let out in an audible range.

Mark smirked getting on to the bike. Soon it was a rush of cold wind hitting the young boys' faces and excitement rushing through their bodies with the determination of winning the race. 

Both of them stopped at a lake not far from their houses. They sat down, breathing heavily looking at the Sun which was just rising. Donghyuck exhaled, putting his head on the older's shoulder. 

"Since you wanted some time alone," Donghyuck said, making Mark smile widely. Mark circled his arm around the younger's waist pulling him closer. The sun rays were spreading over the sky waking the birds up and welcoming the morning with their chirping. Both of them remained quiet enjoying a very peaceful silence surrounding them making them forget the stress. 

"I think this is the most peaceful welcome to the new year I could ever give you," Donghyuck muttered, quietly.

" I love this." Mark immediately said. "I wish I had the power to stop the time."

Donghyuck chuckled sheepishly. "Then I would turn back time to save you." 

"That's no fun." Mark laughed loudly while the younger glared at him. Soon both of them broke into laughter cracking jokes and singing songs that were their recent favorites.

The lake shined like diamonds while both of them lost themselves in each other's eyes. Mark smiled as he caressed his frame onto Donghyuck making him feel loved. Both of them closed their eyes as Mark kissed the younger's lips passionately.

"I love you," Mark mumbled softly earning a hum in response. 

\--------

Mark reached home with a happy smile plastered on his face. He felt his heart fluttering thinking about every moment they spent together. The living room seemed energetic than usual making Mark's smile turn into little confusion

"Mark! Where have you been, honey?" His mother welcomed him with a wide smile. "Look who is here," she said, pulling him inside. 

He could witness a very familiar man talking with his father. The same human being trying to make a comeback into his life making it worse. 

"Oh, Mark is here, James." His father said with an excited smile

Mark's shoulders dropped while his mind was in utter surprise. It sucks to witness things you wished should never happen. Mark remembered that happiness never lasts long.

"Oh right." Mark thought. James Lagon was his 'beautiful' name. Mark never had the need to remember his name because he always remembered that ugly smirk or those filthy hands that touched him.

"Mark, your uncle was asking for you since the moment he came here." his father exclaimed.

James would be a perfect representation of the entire human race. Colorful on the outer side but corrupt on the inner side. James was tall, athletic, and built with a handsome frame that would make you fall for him. But on the inside, every tear Mark shed, every night Mark slept with an empty stomach, how he lost his sanity before he could see the beautiful things in the world, all these reasons would combine into that one mortal.

James' lips curved into a faint smile that Mark had the feeling to smack that face with a chair. "I see, you grew up a lot, Markie!" his voice sounded so gravely calm. The very familiar voice that used to make Mark fall on his knees. 

But no more. Mark's hands clenched his hands into a fist putting himself together.

"Yes," he answered. "But...I see you look like the same old self." Mark added looking away, disinterested while James broke into his devilish laughter. 

"I think I need to fresh up." Mark excused himself and ran upstairs locking himself in the room. Mark broke down on the floor, breaking heavily.

Mark reached into his bed, holding his pillow tightly, closing his eyes shut. His mind said only one word. 

"Breathe Mark!" 

Mark reached onto the side table wiping his face and eyes after a long stretch of struggle. He called Taeyong immediately, telling him in a haste about what happened. 

"Look, Mark, breathe. I'm coming there soon. Don't worry." 

\------

Donghyuck rushed into his father's hospital after getting a call from explaining what happened.

"I can't believe this!!" Donghyuck said, biting his nails. "Can't he come after a week? It's just Jan 1st!" Donghyuck let out, frustrated earning a glare from his father. "Sorry- I'm j-just nervous." 

"Sorry for being late, Sir." Donghyuck and his father looked at Taeyong who just entered.

"Where's Mark?" Donghyuck questioned looking at the door. 

"What do you mean? I thought he was with you?" 

Donghyuck's eyes widened. "No what? I'm coming from my house, Mark isn't with-"

"No chill, he's in the washroom," Taeyong said casually, taking his sweater off. 

Donghyuck's anger got into peaks that he wanted to hit Taeyong with a paperweight. "That wasn't funny," he said while Taeyong just shrugged. 

"James Lagon. Mark says what his name is." Taeyong exclaimed, washing his hands. 

"James Lagon?" Donghyuck repeated. "pfft. Even his name sounds villainous. But at least Mark won't have nightmares 'cause his nightmare is here." Donghyuck said with an awkward laugh. 

The room suddenly became silent while the two doctors glared at him. "Sorry, still nervous," Donghyuck said, biting his nails again. "I crack jokes when nervous."

"Since when?"

"Since an hour," Donghyuck exclaimed. 

Donghyuck hugged Mark tightly when he entered the room. Mark didn't talk nor flinch. 

The next half an hour, the room was full of the doctors discussing their work while Donghyuck was playing on his iPad and cracking stupid jokes which surprisingly Mark found funny. Secretly he knew Taeyong was planning on killing him on hearing his lame jokes. 

On the other hand, Mark seemed a lot more quiet than usual, but at least he was happy to be here than his own house. 

\-------

"You will be okay, right?" Donghyuck questioned for the hundredth time. 

"Yeah. If anything happens I'll ring up, promise." Mark replied calmly, putting his hands on the younger's shoulders. 

Donghyuck was still uncertain but nodded. He soon left giving him a hug. 

Mark sighed walking inside his house. Suddenly his own house felt like standing on lava. He gave a small smile to his mom and walked into his room and fell on the bed. 

Mark's head was throbbing with thinking unwanted things he kept on thinking. He jolted up when he heard someone knock the door. 

Mark's anger and anxiety increased at the same time. 

"Get out!" He ordered. 

"Shouldn't you sleep, Mark?" 

James entered with an obnoxiously irritating smile plastered on his face as he eyed Mark who carelessly browsed through his phone. Mark locked his eyes with James for a split second and closing them tightly only to stare at him with exasperation. Mark gritted his teeth at the distress pouring at the disgraceful sight of his uncle.

Mark snaps at him with a cold glare and the least bit of interest he could afford to his uncle, his abuser, "Shouldn't you get out?"

James widens his eyes for a second to break into cocky laughter. Mark scoffs.

"Manners, Mark." James crouches towards the bed where Mark was sitting but a sweaty hand ceases him. When their eyes meet, "Dont! Don't sit here... It's my bed. You cant-" Mark composed himself, "Just get out already."

"I'm just sitting."

"No, you can't- you shouldn't, this is my bed, you can't sit, " this is my life, you can't play, "Leaving people to their business must be a foreign action for you considering actions-"

James let go of the grip of Mark's tight yet uncertain grip on his hand and sent him an unreadable look and broke into a sarcastic laugh at his silliness, "Mark, you haven't changed."

Mark was fully glaring at him by then, "Oh I did. I am not scared of you anymore. You don't deserve to be scared upon, you are a coward James; all you did was manipulating a child by killing his dog, you are useless to even pry the issues that can bother me and it would be very sad for you to discover that I don't care about you anymore, I'm not affected with the blackmailing you do-"

Useless. 

Something pangs up in James' chest and tilts his head to the left side to face the mirror as he met his red with terror face. He clenched his fists and rushes his hands to settle his perfectly worn coat. He scowled at Mark's face as he completed his sentence.

"I'm not scared of you because I know I'm right and I have nothing to hide about. You just didn't have a choice but to kill Snoopy to scare me, you are a coward, that's what you are, nothing more nothing less" Mark says with a grimace on his lips, the annoyance quite evident from the expression.

Coward.

James moves closer and moves his fingers on the sleeves of Mark's shoulder and held it tightly despite his futile attempts to push him away, "Don't touch me-"

"I don't need that little dog to scare you, weakling. You are just what you are, a chicken scared of little things, " James tightly squeezed his knuckles with his long fingers when Mark threw his hand away from his shoulder, "You didn't have a choice but to listen to me."

Mark yelped as he felt the fingers pulling his skin and pushed James out of his reach and exhaled loudly. Mark later ran to him and held the collar tightly, "Tell me why are you here? In my room? No, why the hell did you even come to Korea? You aren't invited here, I didn't ask you to enter my life. Move!" 

No one wants to invite their problems right?

James stood simply smirking at the situation which angered Mark more. When he goes harsh on his moves and raises his fists in the air to punch him-

"Oh Mark, have you seen James?"

Both of them diverted their attention to the knocking sound of the door but Mark was too surprised to take off his hands from James' shirt. When the said voice comes which happens to be Mr.Lee and the three of them exchange confused stares until Mr.Lee decides to speak.

"Mark? James? Why are you both in this position?" He asked them bewildered and Mark moves back steadily. Mark opens his mouth to speak something but closes it immediately unable to utter a word.

James sets his coat, "Oh, it's nothing. A mosquito was hanging on the material so Mark was just-"

"Mosquito? Here?" 

Before the topic elaborates, James halts him by moving towards him, "Leave that. You were searching for me? Hmm?"

Mark exhaled deeply followed by a confused sigh of his father. As they move out of his room, Mark lifts the hem of his shirt to observe a cut on his waist. He sorta wanted to cry due to the pain but he didn't. Unable to control the emotional and physical distress he pinched the region on his waist and let a tear flow through his eye. He resented having dinner with the lame excuse of not being hungry. He busied the night with the assignments to be submitted in the next week and stayed the whole night awake.

The next morning, Mr.Lee wanders around Mark's room to confront him about the strange happenings with Mark suddenly getting down with the uncle's presence and how he held James' collar to fight him or the way he skipped the meal and lastly, he pretends to ignore the flickering light coming from Mark's room. Didn't he sleep? This is more than just a coincidence.

When the old man was met with Mark's small face decorated with dark circles under his orbs, he wished him a 'morning' which Mark reciprocated with a half-smile. Things started getting fishy when Mark didn't talk to anyone during the morning mundane. 

Mark refused to have breakfast and assured (falsely) them that he would eat in the canteen as he would be late. As he packed his bag, his father stopped him, "Shall I drop you? Since you are getting late-"

"No, it's okay. I'm fine." Mark acted as he was in a hurry as he zipped the bag making loud noises. 

"I can drop you, Mark. I insist." His father said with a warm smile and Mark agreed half-heartedly. But truth be told, he was tense to have a conversation he wanted to avoid as his father nearly caught him punching James. Mark had noticed the suspicious looks of his father searching for the answers Mark couldn't get himself to tell.

When they reached the gate outside, Mark noticed Taeyong getting out of his house as they met their eyes and voluntarily asked his father, "Dad, how about you drop Taeyong Hyung?"

Taeyong hesitantly refused, "No, that's fine."

Mark gave him a look of asking to help him, "please, " he mouthed carefully with full of worry in his expression. Taeyong bobbed his head much to Mr.Lee's disagreement as he missed his chance to speak with Mark privately.

However, when Mark asked him they drove towards Mark's college in the beginning. Mark gave him the directions not allowing him to speak to him. When Mark left the car, Mr.Lee looked at Taeyong wondering if Taeyong is aware of his unusual behavior. He had been curious about the close relationship of Mark with Taeyong. In the beginning, he had dismissed it thinking it could have been because Taeyong was Johnny's lover but gradually numerous situations unfolded in front of him which can not be shrugged off. After many years of losing the trust of his son, he cannot repeat the mistake again. Ignorance of Mark's intentions and long-lasting suffering he went through, the man didn't want Mark to go through all over again if anything bothers him. He would protect Mark at all costs and would stand by his side. 

Taeyong and Mark lived together and had been friends for years since Mark transferred to Korea and as far as he knows, Taeyong helped Mark in everything he could. Mark told him once that Taeyong is the person he trusted more than anyone (alongside Donghyuck) after he came to Korea. Lee hesitantly turned his head towards Taeyong who was checking his files carefully.

"Taeyong?"

Taeyong responded with a nod as if questioning him and faced the older man.

"Do you think Mark is hiding anything from us?"

Taeyong gulped at the questioning as he was able to comprehend where the conversation was heading to. He must have noticed Mark's scared color on his face and understood something was wrong. 

"What made you think like that, Mr.Lee may I ask?"

Mr.Lee more careful with his words asked him, "I don't know. It's just that he is behaving weirdly. He shirked the meals yesterday night and today morning... And probably he hasn't slept the night... Did you see his eyes?"

Taeyong badly wanted to tell the truth to his father but was scared of the implications as it would almost be revolting for anyone to accept that their son was abused by his brother. 

He continued, "I thought of asking him but I couldn't and also, he is good at getting with his lies. There is no way he would tell me what's wrong, he never did," he sighed remorsefully at the defeat of gaining the trust of his own son, "till now."

"Mr.Lee-"

"No, now please don't make me fail in this. If you know anything about his behavior please tell us. You both have been close with each other and I know he trusts you a lot, " more than us.

Taeyong wanted to speak but didn't get the chance when Mr.Lee spoke again, "is he suffering from sleeping problems? Something like insomnia? Is he tired because of that? Please tell me."

Taeyong gazed for a few seconds, "please, relax, " he says worriedly.

He stops the car at a corner of the road allowing him to speak.

Taeyong composes himself before turning to Mark's father completely. The voices inside his brain prompted him to tell the truth. He decided that's what the best is for. After so many years of distance, Mark's parents were happy with their son and it's their right to be aware of the happenings of Mark, in fact, they should be the first people to be learning about Mark's anxiety and abuse. 

Taeyong says seriously, "Please believe me what I say okay?" Mr.Lee nods still awaiting.

"I understand it can be very harsh and unbelievable of what I say and difficult to accept the truth, even for Mark, it was."

"Now, don't make me even more nervous. What's the matter?"

"Mark has anxiety." He finally says.

"What?" Well, it wasn't normal to find his son suffering from a health problem, a deadly one, as it was a mental problem. 

"It's not his insomnia you were thinking about. He is suffering from a generalized anxiety disorder."

Time seemed to stop for Mr.Lee as his throat felt dried up with discomfort. He stared at Taeyong with widened eyes and parted lips to open his mouth.

"It is, unfortunately, true, Mr.Lee. Mark has been suffering from this since, like childhood."

"Childhood?" He became apprehensive about the fact that he was suffering for so many years and he hadn't been close to even having the remotest idea of Mark's often strange behavior. All the abandoned meals were given the reasons for not finding the food tasty or himself hungry. All the hurried talks on his phone were given the reason of him being busy. All the minor things he forgets were given the reason of himself being lost in mind. 

But the truth was that he was anxious. 

He was anxious about forgetting minor things.

"This is just- not true. It can't be like this. Our Mark-" he says in disbelief and met Taeyong's eyes, "anxiety? These many years?" 

Taeyong felt bad for the predicament of the older male and how difficult it can be for them to accept the fact. Well, however, the truth can't be changed for the better. 

\-------

Taeyong persuaded him to come to the hospital which he gratefully obliged. Mark's father was still not over the fact that his own son was suffering from anxiety at such a young age where he was supposed to wander around the world of Merry, rainbows and butterflies. He felt the guilt pouring upon him for not standing by Mark's side when he needed them the most.

Taeyong still notices the amount of disbelief in his eyes, not able to believe that fact. He didn't want to upset him more but with all his righteousness and courage he huddled, he opened Mark's medical file to show it to him.

Taeyong assures him to not worry as he had been taking therapy but it also worried him that Mark's condition was 'that' severe that he had to take the therapy. And he says everything about himself being Mark's personal psychiatrist and the senior doctor being Donghyuck's father. He also explains to him how he inspected Mark when he just came to Korea and slowly started treating him.

"But how did it start? I mean, why exactly was he disordered? Can the school stress get that bad?"

"He was abused."

"W-what? No, we never- we could never. I understand we were harsh about his career choices but we were worried about him but we never bet him... He is our son, Taeyong. How could you think that we could-?"

"I never said it's you. It's his-"

"Definitely not teachers... They all love him."

"His uncle. Your brother. Your younger brother." Taeyong makes sure to repeat it thrice to get him registered with the fact.

"J-James?"

"Yes."

"Why would he? That's impossible. Are you sure?" Mr.Lee was ashamed of himself of asking the most stupid question in the situation concerned. But to be honest, he was uncertain too.

"Yes, Mr.Lee. Mark himself confessed about it. And if you observe carefully, all the changes Mark went through is when he returned, isn't it?"

Everything started to make sense now because it was the reason Mark and James were in his room the previous night. They fought. 

Later, Taeyong showed him the video of the very recent chicken therapy and gave him the minor details of Mark's progress to date. Of course, a father wouldn't be unfazed about his child acting aggressively over a mere video of two chickens fighting. He was told that the video was presented to detect his reaction and inspect the conclusions. The conclusions were nonetheless not very severe as Mark improved. 

When he learned about his Karate classes and how he punched Donghyuck in the process followed by two horrible weeks for Mark, Mr.Lee couldn't help but feel guilty. He bit his lip in helplessness; the helplessness of not being able to help Mark when he was a child back then, or the Mark when he became an adult, now.

He remembered how he used to knock on the door late night at their house in Canada when he would be late from work and used it as an excuse for not playing with Mark or helping in his homework or any other normal thing fathers and sons do. 

"Sorry, I'm late, " he would mutter and now he knew he was never on time, especially for his child. He was late for the Mark when he was seven years old and now when he is twenty years old. Late to play with him, tell stories, or to understand his intentions about English or about his anxiety.

Before he could formulate his thoughts further Taeyong asked him, "May I know something?"

"Sure."

"Can you tell me how James was? Like, how were Mark and James together?"

"According to what I know, they were a bit awkward with each other but I am more surprised over the fact that why James did this..."

"It would be awfully unbelievable to accept that but I, as a doctor presume that James can be suffering from something too. I deduce that with the reports Mark gave us. Like, while beating, " he ignores the remorseful scoff escaping the man's lips, "James used to insult him a lot, more verbally and he was very intelligent in getting away with what he has done," that's how he escaped from you.

"James? I- I don't know, " Taeyong could easily detect the lie in his expression.

Taeyong says firmly, "I understand it could be personal... But please trust me, I will help Mark, We all can, I promise you that."

"Mark will be fine, right?"

"Yes, I assure you."

"Well, where should I start about James? It would be very surprising for anyone to accept that a man would abuse his own nephew but you shouldn't be surprised when the nephew isn't his own."

"What?" Taeyong asks in shock.

"It's true, James isn't my own brother. We aren't blood-related. Our father found him. One day, our father found him on an empty road. James was a weird fellow considering a normal seven-year-old boy and how he behaved, he told us that his parents had died in an accident but never had he grieved over their death. My father, he was a very kind person to get him into our family and raised him as the youngest son of the house. He never spoke to me properly at the beginning, he was always lost in his own world. All of us thought that he had been exposed to the close proximity of his parents' demise and he was shocked. He maybe was, I think..."

Both stayed in silence for some time and Mr.Lee resumed.

"I don't know, it's very strange how this all happened. One day, my father informed everyone in the family that no one will ever revise the topic of James and his parents. He was like a real member of our family, like me. Like my brother. No one knows about James, even my wife. When our father died, that was the only time I saw James crying. He was like my own brother i-"  
He kept repeating the same thing at the loss of words, "I still can't believe he did this to Mark."

Taeyong took a break of two minutes after processing what all happened with Mark and his uncle both. 

Only if Mark knew he wasn't the only victim.

Taeyong says hopefully, "Mark will be okay."

\-------

Donghyuck pressed his hands to the table exhaling nervously. Usually, he was so lazy that seeking permission or informing something to his mother would be through the phone, but now, he dragged himself to his mom's department. Donghyuck had issues over behaving normally when it concerned Mark, for no reason at all.

His mom entered the room carrying a few files in her hands looking kind of hurried while Doyoung was behind her talking something. Why was he her assistant again? As if there aren't any others. He rolled his eyes, sure that he was going to badmouth him after he leaves the room. 

“Yes, Donghyuck?” His mother acknowledged his presence after talking with Doyoung about office work. Doyoung walked towards his chair giving a blank stare to him.

“Actually, I was wondering if I could bring Mark home today…” Donghyuck asked. “I mean, like a sleepover.” 

She studied Donghyuck from top to bottom with a confused face. “Of course? Can't believe my son even bothers to inform me personally.” she looked back into her computer with a sigh. “Is there anything special about him that made you walk till here, Master?” she added sarcastically. 

Donghyuck's palms were sweating. He knew it! Why did he have to overdo simple things?! He bit his lip thinking of an excuse. “It's just you know, he never had a sleepover at our place… I kind of wanted to ask you if it's okay.” 

She nodded and hummed softly meaning it was okay. Donghyuck smiled widely. 

“Listen, wait for me at the parking lot, we'll go together,” she added, adjusting her specs. 

“No. It's okay, we can go-” he immediately retorted.

She shook her head interrupting Donghyuck. “I have my shift completed, sweetie. We will go together, and it's a nice opportunity for me to meet your new special best friend and spend time with you, right?” 

Donghyuck didn't like how she sounded. “Right,” Donghyuck mumbled, quietly with a disappointed smile. 

“Here,” she said, throwing Donghyuck the car keys. Donghyuck walked out cursing under his breath. 

It's not like he minded his mother in the house but he knew pretty well what she meant by spending time with him. Donghyuck internally screamed when he realized his father is overseas attending seminars and there is no one to save him from his mother today. And she by now was suspecting about Mark and his relationship, and Donghyuck was now sure about this by her emphasis on meeting Mark and calling him his new special best friend. 

\------

Donghyuck looked around the whole University for Mark and called him numerous times. He finally reached the soccer ground. Donghyuck waved to his familiar soccer friends and coincidentally found Mark alone in a corner deserted bench, alone. Mark jolted out as Donghyuck appeared beside him.

“Dude- It's just me. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.” Donghyuck said, rubbing his back while Mark sat back on the bench holding his heart. 

“I-It's okay, I'm just tired,” Mark said, weakly.

“I was so worried, damn.” Donghyuck let out sitting beside him. “You could've informed me, at least. Why haven't you been answering my calls?” Donghyuck questioned. Donghyuck intensely stared at Mark inspecting him. Donghyuck noticed him looking awfully pale as if he was going to fall down and his eyes ready to give up any moment. 

Mark sighed. He moved closer to Donghyuck burying him in the younger's chest. Donghyuck lovingly wrapped his arms around him, letting his hands move around Mark's back soothing him. Mark's eyes burned like fire as he closed his eyes, he didn't know what he was feeling. He felt hateful, weak, and powerless, everything at the same time, it felt like suddenly all the good things were sucked out from him as if he was kissed by the dementors.

Mark hated the fact that his life was playing a replay of his past, trying to bring him down to where everything started. He wanted to run, run with all his might, scream his voice out, ask the world to leave him alone, he just wanted to escape this reality and for once he wanted to live with no fear. He hated himself on how he was weak in front of his Uncle. His blood was boiling over the fact that his Uncle still had the same impact as he did years ago. Mark hated his audacity to step into his room and Mark could just internally panic over that monster and do nothing.

Mark was tired and sick of his uncle, himself, his life, and everything. He shut his eyes tightly as he let his pain out through tears. He gripped onto Donghyuck tightly, sobbing uncontrollably. Donghyuck didn't say anything. He understood by this time the reason behind Mark's tears now. 

“Donghyuck, I'm scared to go back there, it's making me feel insane and it's like someone is strangling me. It reminds me of my childhood, Donghyuck.” Mark's voice came out muffled from Donghyuck's chest. Donghyuck's shoulders dropped and he closed his eyes. Looking at Mark being so vulnerable, it made him unmotivated and depressed too.

Donghyuck connected their foreheads and held his waist pulling him closer. “Calm down, Love. There is no one here who will dare to touch you. It's just me and you, hmm? You are not alone or helpless, baby, you are all safe with me. Okay?” Donghyuck mumbled softly while he brought his hands and wrapped them around his neck. He wiped his tears and kissed his forehead. Mark sniffed and nodded weakly.

“You didn't eat, did you?” Donghyuck questioned looking at Mark while his hands traveled around his cheek, under his eyes tracing his tired skin and light black circles which were already forming under his eyes. 

“How do you know about it all the time?” Mark inquired with a weak smile forming on his lips.

“Soulmates know everything.” Donghyuck shrugged. “Just kidding, you look like guys who stayed up to perform an exorcism,” Donghyuck added, sarcastically confessing the fact about how Mark was looking. 

Mark shook his head on how Donghyuck brightens up the atmosphere in a split second while he was all emotional with him a few seconds ago and truth to be told, this nature of being so quick and adaptive to different things makes him unique, it makes Mark fall more into Donghyuck.

For Mark, Donghyuck was never and will never be boring, he always expressed his new beautiful sides of him, never failed to surprise him. Keeping aside the fact that he can get very annoying, he could never fall out of love from him with his so versatile nature. Controlling his smile, Mark stared at Donghyuck blankly, reminding Donghyuck of Doyoung's expression.

“Don't give me that look. I told you so many times that ignoring food and sleep is the kickstart for problems. If you are so broke, ask me, I'll pay for lunch.” 

“No, I didn't intend to skip my lunch, my assignments were due and I was packed the whole day and I had to help Miss Taeyeon with some work.” Mark defended himself. Well, Mark doesn't have any to-do list where he loves to skip his lunch and dinner. And he really planned on having lunch until Mrs. Taeyeon appeared.

\-------

“Are you sure?!” Mark squealed and his eyes glowed in happiness when Donghyuck said he can stay over his place like a sleepover. 

“Of course,” Donghyuck replied. If Donghyuck didn't bring him to eat something, he was sure he wouldn't last any longer and would pass out before they reached his house. Donghyuck paid for the food and they walked outside. Donghyuck told Mark about him informing his mother about the sleepover. 

“I can't believe she said she wanted to meet me and what is this new special best friend? That's So specific.” Mark let out while they were walking towards the parking.

“We could be exaggerating too, I mean we just met like last year, and she's just getting to know you today, but don't worry, as a teacher, she likes people like you. Who looks decent, innocent, and sweet. And who wouldn't like you, you look so cute and handsome-” Donghyuck stopped himself and coughed to cover up.

Mark raised his eyebrows wrapping his arm around the younger 's waist. “You sure I am innocent?”

“No, that's why I said, who look. Not who actually are.” 

“But thanks for the compliment.” Mark chuckled when Donghyuck dropped his head in embarrassment.

“I should've left you to starve.”

Donghyuck's mind revolved over the thought that his mom saying she wanted to meet him was bad but turns out the plan he wanted to surprise Mark about a sleepover at his house was also ruined. Donghyuck hated the day. 

“I must've woken up the wrong side and must've looked at some ugly shit today morning that my day is giving me so many twists I never asked for.” he internally reckoned.

\------

“Wow. Took you such less time, trust me, honey, I wasn't waiting for you from the past 20 mins.” his mom let out sarcastically, she was leaning onto the car with her phone in her hands waiting for them. 

Donghyuck fake laughed. “Sorry... Mark had some work with the librarian so we are late because of the crowd, you know?” Donghyuck said, making Mark glare at him.

“Really? Why did I see you coming from the canteen then?” his mom questioned back.

Donghyuck opened his mouth to find an excuse but he knew it was no use.“ I don't know were w-we? A-and it's not important, let's go home.” Donghyuck quickly walked over the conversation while his mom raised her eyebrows. 

“Sorry Mrs. Lee, it was my mistake-” Mark began after they got inside the car. Mark sat in the backseat while Donghyuck was in the front one with his mother. 

“oh no honey, it's absolutely okay. I was just being sarcastic,” she said, giving him a sweet smile. “I'm used to all his rubbish excuses anyway,” she added referring to Donghyuck. 

“So? You are from Canada, right?” Donghyuck's mom questioned after a few minutes of their journey back to Donghyuck's house.

“Yeah,” Mark replied. On the other hand, Donghyuck was jealous that Mark could be on her lighter side with just a few seconds and it was not surprising at all. Donghyuck watched Mark and his mom talking pretty well and that's exactly what he wanted.

Although, he couldn't stand a thick awkward situation in-between it was okay. 

“I can't believe why you always have to do something that would piss Doyoung off.” she began. Mark sat back into his seat comfortably now ready to enjoy the show while Donghyuck was getting scolded by her. “How do you manage to make me hear complaints from him every time, huh?” 

Donghyuck facepalmed. He was regretting his life's decisions today. “Quit believing it Mom! You know he just likes to pick on me for literally everything!” Donghyuck whined. 

“Oh really?! I don't understand the reasons why he has to tell me that you are going around flirting with students at the university?” 

Donghyuck felt his face burning as his cheeks and ears turned light pink. Donghyuck was taken into sudden surprise and believe it, he was not the only one surprised there. Mark clicked his tongue upon hearing the complaint. “Mom!” Donghyuck whined in his seat burying his head in his hands. “This is definitely an exaggeration. I- I did not!” Donghyuck dropped lower into his seat. Mark rolled his eyes with Donghyuck's short answer.

\-------

After reaching Donghyuck's house, he took Mark into his room. Mark smiled at the ‘Danger zone. Do not enter’ chart paper pasted on the door with a very horrible illustration of the skull. 

“I and Chenle try our best to keep this thing clean. But at the end of the day, it's messy anyway so we stopped caring.” Donghyuck said with an awkward laugh. 

Mark looked around the room. There were 2 study tables on the opposite walls, one filled with books, files, and a tablet, the other was compared less messy but with a lot of books. Mark smiled at Stephen Curry's poster pasted on the top of the table recognizing that it was Chenle's and there was a computer. One queen-sized bed and backpacks and basketball lying messily on one corner. Till this day he thought his room messy, but looking at Donghyuck, Mark felt he was better than him.

Mark walked into the balcony, admiring the view of their garden, it felt perfect and he nodded in approval. Mark looked at the ill condition of the closet where clothes were fighting on who would fall down first. Donghyuck buried himself in the closet searching for something.

“Here.” Donghyuck breathed out handing Mark clothes that belonged to him once. “This is the reason I don't return your stuff. And don't worry, I should have a few more of yours with me.” Donghyuck said searching for his clothes while Mark chuckled. “I'll be downstairs, you can change.”

Mark joined Donghyuck's mom in the garden while Donghyuck was standing with a garden hoe on one hand and watering can on the other. 

“Is what we have not enough that you need more plants? I don't understand this stupid obsession. You are making this more of a plant nursery than our house. Bring some animals next time this would make a perfect zoo.” Donghyuck said, frustrated. 

His mother got up and washed her hands. “Why would I bring animals when I have you and your brother?” Mark was caught off-guard with a sudden statement. While Donghyuck glared at his mom. “Have you seen your room? It's enough to be called a zoo. But deep down I know even animals live in a better condition.”

“You know you are being so disrespectful right now that I now feel the necessity to bawl my eyes out.” Donghyuck's mother and Mark didn't hold back anymore and they together broke into fits of laughter. 

Mark helped Mrs. Lee with the gardening. She initiated a conversation to ease the atmosphere and Mark felt he was getting along pretty fast. Even though it felt a little awkward in the beginning, soon he was getting the hang of her. She talked about normal topics. 

Mark felt comfortable as the hours passed by and when Chenle came home, his excitement didn't have boundaries. 

“Wow. I can't believe this! I think this is the first good and wise decision Donghyuck hyung ever took.” Chenle said. It wasn't late that Donghyuck's temper rose and he was soon chasing Chenle. Chenle didn't keep his hands off Mark and sticked close to him. Donghyuck helped his mother in preparing some snacks. Chenle didn't stop talking about his school stuff while they sat to eat.

They laughed collectively talking about completely random things and Mark was gradually getting diverted from the stress that was staying back at his house. Mark was in love with Donghyuck's Mother and his younger brother. 4 of them sat playing on the Carrom board. Mark was not surprised that Donghyuck was good at this, but what made the game funnier was his Mother and Chenle teasing him not letting him play in peace and Mark enjoyed living that instant. 

“Hyung! You….you, wanna basketball with me today?” Chenle asked while he was preparing to go to the ground.

“No, he is not!” Donghyuck answered for Mark. 

“Why is it bothering you, did I ask you? Shut up!” Chenle retorted at Donghyuck. While Donghyuck's jaw dropped. By this time Mark realized this type of behavior was their ‘normal behavior’. 

“Hyung, please, it's been weeks since you played with me.”

“No. And moreover, he doesn't have enough clothes to change later.” Donghyuck interrupted Chenle again.

“Pfft please.” Chenle scoffed. “What about those you stole from him when you stayed at his place? And later bragging about how good it smelled?” Chenle argued further. The room immediately got into an uncomfortable silence, uncomfortable especially for Donghyuck. Mark secretly loved but at the same time, he wanted to escape from there while Chenle didn't regret anything. Mrs. Lee looked at Donghyuck in disbelief as if she was demanding an explanation.

“Hyung pretty please?” 

Donghyuck's face immediately fell when Mark agreed to go with Chenle to play basketball with him. 

“Fine then, if you are taking Mark then you better sleep with mom or in the guest room today.” Chenle rolled his eyes and finally agreed when Donghyuck was rigid and stubborn to leave Mark.

Donghyuck dropped back into the couch after being disappointed and betrayed with everything happening that today. He just wanted to spend time with Mark and now that was to be ruined by Chenle. Donghyuck sat with his books burying himself into a deep study alongside his Mother who was busy with her work.

\-------

When Mark and Chenle came back, Donghyuck handed him some clothes to fresh up. Donghyuck walked towards Chenle to have a ‘conversation’ with him.

“I'm going to kill you! You freaking dolphin!” Donghyuck immediately reached Chenle, holding his ear until he screamed in pain.

“You're just jealous because he chose me over you.” 

“oh please.” 

“But don't you think, mom and Mark, got well with each other?” Chenle quickly switched the topic.

“Yep. I'm glad they did.” 

Mark was adoring his mom by this time. She didn't make Mark awkward and neither treated him as an outsider, now Mark understood why Donghyuck's best friends loved hanging out at Donghyuck's place. 

While they sat for dinner, Donghyuck's mom began, “Remember to not skip food, Mark. Good sleep and Food always helps you with good concentration-” 

Donghyuck and Chenle immediately interrupted and continued what she wanted to say. “And good concentration is always needed to study well and it also increases peace of mind which helps you score well in the examinations.” 

“This is a dinner ritual since…” he paused thinking about it. “many years,” Chenle added and the dinner was filled with laughter and active energy. 

Chenle took his books and dragged his feet to his parent's room. Donghyuck grinned thinking about Chenle spending his night with his mom breaking his head over hexagonal shapes in organic chemistry.

“Wow! Your mom is so cool. I just love talking to her!” Mark said texting Taeyong and his father that he's staying at Donghyuck's that night. “And what an awesome dinner. You should learn a lot from her.” Mark expressed his feelings while Donghyuck changed his shirt and settled his hair. 

“Yes, I need to,” Donghyuck said, climbing into the bed. 

Mark was so lost into how beautiful he looked until Donghyuck had to shake him to gain his attention. “Mark!” 

“You look really good in white.” Mark complimented. 

Donghyuck let out a breathy laugh. “Thanks. But I look good in everything,” he said, shrugging.

Mark looked away immediately, his smile not leaving his face. Clearing his throat Mark said, “Your bed is relatively bigger than mine, of course, because you both sleep, my bed must've made you a little uncomfortable right?”

“Nah,” Donghyuck said casually. “I like you closer to me.” 

Mark didn't react, he instead asked, “Is this how you flirt with the students of our university?” 

“Mark-yah! I seriously didn't flirt with anyone. That was one day when Renjun was all getting awkward around Yeri, then Doyoung heard me using cheesy pick-up lines with him and misunderstood. Trust me.”

Mark smiled. “I trust you.” 

Donghyuck and Mark spent the next few hours just talking. It was random and felt completely necessary. Mark for some reason felt Donghyuck looked much prettier than every day. It felt the urge to stare at him and laugh with his weird stories and just get lost at how cute he was behaving. It was impossible for him not to smile when he was with him. 

“Do I really smell good?” Mark asked out of the blue. 

Donghyuck felt as if his breathing stopped for a second. He just shrugged casually hoping that Mark didn't notice his blushing face. 

Donghyuck snuggled into the warm blanket and wrapped himself around Mark comfortably. He wished they could stay forever like this. 

Mark sang ‘little star’ quietly while Donghyuck smiled against Mark's chest. Mark's let his hands travel through his long hair. Donghyuck's eyes became heavy minute by minute. Mark left a peck on his forehead and smiled. He was glad this day happened and closed his eyes and felt grateful for one of the best evenings.

\------

Donghyuck switched off his alarm and looked at Mark. He smiled looking at the peaceful figure of him. He leaned over to give him a small peck on his nose and walked to the bathroom completing his daily routine. 

He walked downstairs and smacked Chenle's head while he was dozing off with books in front of him.

“Concentrate on the books, dolphin.” Chenle reached back to his brother and tried to pinch him but Donghyuck escaped quickly. 

He walked into the kitchen and greeted his mom tiredly with a back hug. 

“Today's schedule is very hectic,” he told her. 

She ruffled his hair. “Well, when you want to study law, you should be strong.” Donghyuck nodded weakly. 

Mark got up within no time, got ready, and walked downstairs. 

“Did you sleep well?” Donghyuck's mother asked him.

“Yeah. Thank you, Mrs. Lee.” Mark smiled back. 

Donghyuck stuffed the toast into his mouth and moved around the house, packing his bag in a hurry. “That's why you should take care of your things before you go to bed.” his mom complained. “It's so irresponsible of you, Donghyuck.”

Donghyuck mocked his mother and continued packing. Mark stayed inside to thank Donghyuck's mom again while Donghyuck was outside wearing his shoes.

“Thank you so much for such a wonderful time.” 

She smiled and ruffled his hair a little. “Me too, Mark. I'm glad Donghyuck found you,” she said. 

“I'm glad that I found him too,” Mark replied. Mark waved her goodbye and she also asked him to visit frequently when Mark said he was already fond of her food.

\------

Donghyuck and Mark walked slowly towards the bus stand. Mark was not very much scared of Donghyuck's mother now. Her last words made him convinced that she liked him. Mark loved the moment walking along with his partner while their hands brushed each other's, bringing a faint smile on their faces. While walking they came across a dog on a roadside.

Donghyuck immediately switched the side to obstruct Mark's view. Mark gripped Donghyuck's hand and tried to calm himself down. He settled his thoughts and just breathed to not let any negative things, succeeding eventually. Mark assured Donghyuck that he was fine and Donghyuck smiled at Mark's attempt to calm himself down.

When Donghyuck and Mark reached the bus stand, Mark's phone lightened up with a call from his father. Upon having a conversation, Mark and Donghyuck waited for his father. When his father reached the bus stand, he saw Taeyong with him. Mark frowned.

“Is everything okay?” Mark questioned looking at both Taeyong and His father. 

“Get in.” His father said. 

When Donghyuck and Mark got in, Taeyong informed them that it was an emergency and they needed to take Mark to the hospital. 

“Hospital?” Donghyuck asked in surprise. 

“Yea, is it going to be okay for you, Donghyuck?”

Donghyuck was hesitant. “Can I catch you back after my classes?” he asked, glancing at Mark. “I need to inform my Mom again and it would become a very big fuss and I don't want to make publicity about anything.” 

Taeyong and Mark nodded. “I promise to be there immediately when my classes are over,” Donghyuck said. 

Mark's father insisted on dropping Donghyuck to the University. He waved to Mark and ran towards his class. 

\------

When they reached the hospital, Taeyong introduced Mark to a Doctor while his Father excused himself.

“Mr. Lee is attending seminars so he won't be here until a few days. This is Doctor Kun, one of my colleagues and he's a Neuroscientist and Psychologist. He will be looking into James' condition from now on.”

Mark choked on his own spit. 

“W-what?” 

“Your uncle was admitted to the hospital last evening, Mark,” Kun informed Mark. “I will make the necessary arrangements, bring him to my cabin,” Kun told Taeyong. 

“You didn't-” Mark looked at Taeyong in disbelief. “You didn't tell my parents about this did you?” Mark panicked. 

“Mark listen to me.” Taeyong began. He gently touched Mark's cheeks. “It's necessary. They needed to know about this. And trust me, it won't be an easy task if I didn't tell them. We can't just sit hand in hand hoping a miracle to happen when things are equally getting worse.” 

“I don't know, hyung.” Mark's vision became blurry. “I would never know how to thank you enough. You didn't need to-” 

“I needed to do everything I could. And there is no thank you and sorry in the family. I am your family, am I not?” 

Mark shook his head. “Not just a family. You are more than that.” Taeyong smiled widely. Mark didn't know if he should feel happy that James is now getting the help he needs or worry about his parents.

“How are they?” Mark asked, referring to their Parents and Johnny. 

“It was tough. Especially for your Mom. Johnny was very violent.” 

“And James?” 

When Taeyong brought him into James cabin, Mark was astonished to see his behavior. Mark felt empty inside, he didn't feel any kind of emotions looking at James. He watched him screaming like a maniac. Uttering nonsense and shouting that he was not mental.

“His wounds look terrible,” Mark said, looking at dressed wounds in his hands, face, and legs. 

“Johnny.” Taeyong sighed. “I had to take him out of the house, keep him away from James. It was a tough job.” Taeyong let out a breathy chuckle. 

Mark walked into Kun's cabin. Kun smiled warmly and asked him to sit. 

“So? Mark lee. How are you feeling?” he asked, arranging files on his table? 

“Not bad,” Mark answered. Just that moment Taeyong and Johnny walked inside.

“Not bad, huh? Good. Any frequent problems?” Kun asked Mark while he signaled Johnny to sit. 

Mark thought about it. “Nightmares. That's the only thing that bothers me a lot,” he answered with almost difficulty. Johnny's presence made the atmosphere heavier.

Kun nodded. “Tell me about your last conversation with James. Can you describe it briefly? And how did you feel?” 

“Day before yesterday's night. He came to my room.” Mark closed his eyes, composing himself. “It was a bad conversation...it was just the same old, he didn't change, neither his behavior. The same heavy cologne and alcoholic smell from him. I tried to punch him, I was angry at the same time it was all messed up in my head. I don't like it.” Mark entwined his fingers in nervousness. He didn't like his presence around him. Mark's breathing became heavy every minute. He shivered as thoughts flooded in his head about his Uncle.

“Hmm. It's okay.” Mark heard Taeyong's voice, bringing him back to reality before the situation got worse in his head. “Here,” he said, handing him a glass of water and chocolate. 

“It'll relax you,” Kun said with a sweet smile. “Well, as you know, I'll be personally looking into your Uncle. You can witness James' first therapy session, but only if you are confident about it Mark.”

\-------

After Lunch, Mark went to his parents. He crouched down in front of them and Mark held his mother's hands and squeezed them lightly.

“Mom…” he whispered softly. 

She tenderly held his cheeks. She caressed his face and exhaled with the utmost difficulty. She took Mark's hands grazing his bruise.

“It won't go, you know. I tried scrubbing it many times, but it just won't leave.” Mark said with a hopeless scoff. 

She closed her eyes letting her tears fall. Mark panicked immediately wiping her tears. “Don't. Mom...please don't cry.” 

“It was my fault…” she let out holding her head. 

“No. Don't say that-”

“I'm so sorry for being so irresponsible.” She sobbed uncontrollably covering her mouth. She couldn't even say anything else. She hugged him apologizing repeatedly while Mark patted her softly calming her down. Mark felt another embrace from behind. Mark's heart broke into a million chunks looking his brother tear up.

“Was I so untrustworthy that you never felt the need to tell me?” Johnny mumbled. “Did we not agree on being together, like bros and dudes, partying like best friends..? Why-?” he choked. “How can you Mark? Was I invisible to you?”

Johnny fell into his knees. He felt so burdened by everything. It felt the world around him collapsing. Mark gulped his tears and held Johnny to his chest. 

“Dude, I'm alive see? Your strength makes me stronger, please don't do this. You are the strongest support. I can't see you like this. You should tease me, play with me, make me laugh till I tear up. That's what my older brother is...” Johnny gripped into Mark tightly breaking down weeping in hopelessness.

\-------

Donghyuck rushed into the hospital after his classes were over. When he reached his father's cabin, he stopped hearing someone sobbing, soon he realized they were Mark's family. Donghyuck witnessed Johnny's head on his mother's lap whilst crying while his mother was not any different. Mark's father's hands were busy comforting his family. 

“It's been 25 years of us together struggling to earn what we have today.” she began, looking into infinity. “Today, I don't understand what is the significance of being all wealthy when we couldn't even acknowledge a child, our own child, a little boy with dreams being tortured!.” she shivered while gripping onto her husband's hands.

“Honey, remember that time when you personally warned his grade one teacher who was being harsh on the students and Mark came home crying that he had been hit by her ?” Mark's father nodded, wiping her eyes. “We never let anyone touch him, he is the apple of our eyes… and that baby endured years of pain within himself.” she weakly said. “And we trusted that bastard!” Mark's father shushed her, hugging her tightly while she screamed. “I could've given my own soul to protect him but I didn't…” she sobbed again. “Greedy for wealth, working my life just to look at myself being a pathetic mother. Today I failed, as a mother, I failed my life.” 

Donghyuck bit his lips looking at the devastated family. He had a little idea about how much his mother was going through. Putting himself in her shoes, he could never be the same if his child went through similar pain and cried his eyes out every night and he had no idea about it until his child is an adult. Donghyuck left the place quietly and walked into his father's cabin. 

Mark felt relieved when Donghyuck entered the room. “Took you long enough!” he said, opening his arms. Donghyuck smiled a little and walked towards him. They shared a warm hug. Mark relaxed with the familiar warmth and scent filling him again. He could not deny how much Donghyuck's presence made a difference. 

“Sorry, I was caught up with something,” Donghyuck explained in a low voice. His mind still wandered about Mark's mother's words. 

“Is everything okay? Why do you sound so dull?” Mark questioned. Donghyuck shook his head with a smile. 

“So, what's happening?” Donghyuck changed the topic. 

Taeyong cleared his throat and suddenly the cabin fell into silence. Donghyuck tilted his head looking at both of them expecting them to answer. 

“Well…” Mark began. 

Donghyuck raised his eyebrows, anticipating.

“James is admitted to the hospital,” Taeyong announced. Donghyuck's jaw dropped a little.

“H-how? I mean when?” he looked back at Mark who shrugged innocently.

“Yesterday. The last thing he knew was sleeping in Mark's house and getting up in the hospital. Chained.”

Donghyuck's mouth formed an 'O', soon his face dropped in confusion. “Chained?” 

“Well, you can't expect a mental patient admitting that he's mental. He became violent, screamed, and hurt himself until we had to give him anesthetics.” 

“Your parents know about this?” Donghyuck asked purposely to confirm. Mark nodded. 

“Sadly. It's-” Mark sighed. To be honest, Mark felt pathetic. It was all good when his parents didn't know anything about him. Maybe burying inside him made them smile genuinely at him, be proud of him rather than presently look at him and weep thinking it was their fault.

Donghyuck moved close to him and embraced him. Clearing his throat he questioned, “Where are they by the way?”

“Dunno, they said they wanted to talk to the new Doctor,” Mark said.

Donghyuck looked at Taeyong and they stared at each other for a few seconds. “Doctor Kun. A very close friend of your father. You will meet him soon enough.” 

\-------

When Donghyuck met Kun, he was in his cabin with a few X-rays in his hands scanning them. He looked young and simple yet very attractive. 

“I was waiting for you,” he said looking at Taeyong when they entered the room. Not just the way he looked but his voice was also very sweet and calm as if it was proof that he's a psychologist.

“Sorry for making you wait. This is Donghyuck I told you about, Mark's boyfriend.”

“Oh yes. Nice to meet you, Donghyuck! Hope you are doing good?” he greeted him. 

“Yes, I am. Nice to meet you too.” Donghyuck greeted him back.

“These are Mr. Langdon's X-rays by the way. And his body clearly shows the overdose of drugs in his body which-.” 

Donghyuck interrupted. “But how will you know what his problem is?” 

“As expected, Mr. Lee's son.” Kun raised his eyebrow with a smug smile. “You see, Donghyuck, he is abnormal. Now for what he has gone through and his abnormalities, since we have a very little idea, we can know that by Record memory therapy, where we can make him recall his memories, you'll see.” 

Kun walked inside where James was. Donghyuck noticed a lot of bandages and scars on him. “What happened to him?” Donghyuck whispered to Taeyong.

He awkwardly bit his lip. “The situation was out of peace last night, Johnny was furious and very violent. It was hard to control. Now you can see the result.” Donghyuck was listening to him seriously until “He was hot if you ask me..” Taeyong added which made Donghyuck roll his eyes. 

“Seriously hyung? Now?” Donghyuck shook his head. 

Taeyong shrugged and walked towards his team. Mark and Donghyuck moved closer towards the transparent glass to have a better view. Johnny shortly joined.

“Dad went home to drop mom at the house,” he informed Mark after he greeted Donghyuck. 

“Is she okay?” Mark asked, concerned. Johnny forcefully nodded with a fake smile which Donghyuck could see through.

Mark, Johnny, and Donghyuck's eyes were locked towards Kun and James when they started the session. Kun adjusted James's position on his seat.

“I'm not mental! You all doctors are lying!” James screamed.

“Of course, we know you are not mental. But why do you think doctors are lying, James?” 

“Let me tell you a secret,” James mumbled quietly, leaning forward. “Money. Money is the reason, aren't you one of them too, Doctor? You will do anything to get your patients back to you, even if that costs anything.” he scoffed. “Let me ask you a simple question, how many people did you kill mentally by prescribing rubbish?” James sat back laughing in pity looking at the doctor who was in a loss of words and an expressionless face.

“oh... I'm so sorry, did I hurt you doc?” James smirked. 

“Little bit. Seems like you have a very bitter experience with doctors.” Kun questioned, faking a smile.

“Yes. Since last evening.” 

Kun cleared his throat. “Okay, enough about us. Let us about you. By the way, I saw your ashtray in your room last evening, it reminded me of my Father.” Kun began. “He wasn't my own father, I was brought up by him after my father left me.” Kun made up a similar story that James went through.

“What happened to your father?” James questioned. 

“Let's not talk about it.” Kun let out sadly. “Where did you let that from, it doesn't seem like it was recently bought.”

“No. I-it was my Guardians. He was like my father.”

“Isn't it strange that we have things in common like not living with family,” Kun said with a smile while James shook his head. “Why happened to your parents?”

“They died. It was- I don't know, an accident. I don't remember it so well.” James stuttered. Falling back into the bed and he held his head. “Why does my head hurt?” 

Kun walked beside him taking out a syringe. He filled it up and injected it into James. “This should make you feel a bit dizzy but you should be okay.”

“Good. Now, I want you to look at this spiral loop without blinking.” Kun instructed and pulled the seat back into a comfortable position for James. “Slowly close your eyes.”

James followed the instructions. “Now your head feels heavy and you are gradually drowning into sleep. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.”

“James. Can you hear me?” James hummed in response. “Now, we will slowly decrease your age and go back in time when you were 35..”

“Markie's 8th birthday.” he scoffed with a smirk. “Mark was such an active kid moving in front of me, he behaved so well and was such a disciplined kid. Just like his father. Sadly, not anymore after that night. Poor boy, I remember him sleeping with his weak aching body and crying.”

Kun looked back at Mark and so did Taeyong. Mark felt blood pounding his ears and his face got heated with the memories. Mark's vision got disfigured and his hands trembled. Mark closed his eyes, breathing heavily as his head was soon filled with the very nightmare. Looking at Mark, Donghyuck helped him to get out of the room. Mark gasped for breath and felt his chest paining. 

“Look at me, Love. Breathe with me.” Donghyuck guided Mark while he clasped tightly onto him. It took many minutes for him to calm down and after he did, Donghyuck handed him a glass of water. 

“You okay?” Donghyuck questioned. Mark nodded in response, as he gulped the water.

“Let's go inside.” Mark stood up. 

“Mark, I don't think you can handle this anymore.” Donghyuck tried to explain. 

“Donghyuck, you know this is the only way I can know the answers for why did he have to turn my life into anxiety following me like a shadow. More than my happiness, I only see myself shaking in fear in the darkness. If I could handle these many years of pain, maybe I can for these few minutes too.” Mark let out. Donghyuck nodded uncertainly and followed when Mark walked inside. Donghyuck assured Johnny and Taeyong that Mark was now okay.

“...I had bad experiences in my office at 30. I was constantly scolded by my boss, I had headaches and skipped my office often. Clubbing, playing cards were more priority. Later, she cried and left me saying she can't deal with me and my toxic behavior and eventually I lost my job.” James spoke.

“Who was she, James?” 

James remained quiet. Kun moved on. “Tell us about your teenage, James.”

“I hated people! I didn't leave my house, I didn't talk to anyone, and I stayed in my room. I didn't know everything was very weird and terrible. I had very bad headaches and school was never my thing. There was this boy. He lives here.” James said touching his head. “He used to talk to me. The only one who used to. 

“Why was everything terrible?”

“I had bad visions. These visions never stopped while I was with everyone. I used to feel as if I was flying, or I was bitten by dogs. Dogs are grim. They tortured me with these dogs. Sometimes I thought I was chased by the police. And much more weird stuff.”

“When does this boy seem to come?” 

“he used to come frequently….when my parents were alive. After they died, he came after I met her, and later after I broke up with her, he came when I was with Mark and instructed me to do things. And I follow them.” 

“How were you when you were a kid, James?”

“They were very inappropriate. I hated those ugly hands. I hated those voices very much. But one day, I started hearing voices. From here.” he said, again touching his head. “He was talking to me. He told me to do many things. I thought he was an alien, he didn't stop talking to me, that boy.” 

“What voices did you hate James?”

“Their. It was their voices. It was he who always smiled while she did to me. I was always made shut up lured by chocolate. If I didn't listen, he hit me. He said things, bad things. She used to talk, talk badly. But then suddenly it was silence. They left. Forever.” 

After a long pause, James added. “I was behaving very compulsively.” 

“Compulsively? What do you mean?” Kun questioned but James didn't respond.

Kun left the room and they walked outside. 

“You can leave Mark. You need to rest.” Taeyong said and Mark nodded. 

Taeyong held Johnny's hand asking him to stay and they walked to a quiet place. 

“How are you feeling now?” Taeyong asked as they sat on a bench. 

“Isn't this the first question you ask your patients?” Johnny asked in a low voice. Taeyong chuckled. 

“It's a necessary question, John.” 

“I feel ripped from inside,” Johnny said.

Taeyong softly hummed as he took him to his chest, calming him down. “I feel sick and defeated.” 

”Shhh..” Taeyong patted him.

”You are an angel, Yongie. If you weren't there, I don't know, we would've lost Mark. Thank you for literally everything.”

“You are welcome, my man. I understand the situation, but I like you like last evening more.” Taeyong confessed, making Johnny giggle. 

“How are you a doctor when you don't know what to say in certain situations?” 

“I don't know, ask yourself why you always make me say something I shouldn't?” 

“You're impossible.” 

Taeyong smiled looking at Johnny smiling. “But on a serious note, Mark will be alright. Trust me.” Johnny nodded. Taeyong leaned to leave a small kiss on his forehead. “So? How about Netflix and chill after my shift?”

\------

"Do you think I will hit this one?" James smugly gleamed beating the king card on the nightstand.

"Maybe I could if I can get the A-one."

"Wouldn't you prefer a D?" The smirk articulating a lot of things not received by the young doctor.

"Why do you always sit in the dark?"

"The nightmares in the night have a better play than those in the day."

\------

"Got here late, sorry guys! I was actually at Mark's so...." Donghyuck said rubbing the sweat off his forehead from running too much to reach the playground on time but got late eventually. If Mark's mother hadn't pestered him to stay a little longer he wouldn't have. He looked at his friends' blank expression and when he received no response he muttered again knotting his shoelace on the bench, "Shall we practice now?"

Jaemin folded his arms and the rest of them just looked unfazed giving a deep sigh, "Donghyuck-ah! Do you know how long we were waiting for you?"

"I'm really sorry..." Donghyuck chuckled awkwardly, "but see, I was going to arrive early only.. Mark's mother, she asked me to-"

"You could have at least texted no..." Renjun said exhausted.

"We have been calling you for the past thirty minutes, hyuck." Jeno continued. Everyone had written a disappointment and dismay on their expression.

Donghyuck took the phone from his pocket to witness many missed calls from Jeno and immediately answered, "ahh! I'm sorry... Actually, the phone was in silent mode so I didn't notice-"

"Notice? Say you didn't care, hyuck." Jaemin muttered, staring at him coldly with an annoying grimace on his lips.

"H-huh? What do you mean jaemin?" Donghyuck sensed the cold atmosphere surging up but let out a confused gasp not able to understand where the conversation was heading to.

"You know this isn't the first time, hyuck"

"What did you say-"

"You heard me, hyuck."

"But- but what did I even do?"

"Exactly, you aren't doing anything... That's the problem. You aren't- you aren't being with us anymore... You aren't doing the things we used to do before..."

Jaemin looked stern in his expression and words as he hinted how upset he was. Donghyuck knew he wasn't familiar to greet Jaemin with that look when he visits him. This time, Jaemin didn't have his beautiful angelic smile at their glance. 

"What do you mean? I don't get it. Now you are saying this just because I was a bit late..okay I agree I was very late but where is this heading to? I don't understand."

"Again, this isn't the first time."

"Me being late?"

"No. You being careless"

"Careless for what? Or whom?"

"Us. Your friends. Careless towards us."

"Why did you ever think that?"

"Because you made us think like that. And I'm not the only one who thinks like that... Right, Renjun?" Jaemin shifts his gaze to Renjun and when Donghyuck gave a questioning look to him, he only received a head bowed down. 

But Donghyuck couldn't comprehend what was going on. He felt sort of irritated over the fact that he was doubted upon his time for friendship. He was bewildered with the abrupt silence surrounding them and hated that Jeno and Renjun stood there quiet as if trying to convey that, it was, after all, Donghyuck's mistake.

"What made you think that?" It's a stupid question, Donghyuck thought, because the reply he received hit him rapidly.

"The other day when you moved out immediately after the class when we decided we will be hanging out at Jeno's..." Donghyuck recalled the day when he rushed to the hospital after the class to visit Mark as James was admitted to the hospital.

"Also... Now, this fellow hardly talks with us now... I agree he could be busy but this is not done... Are you losing interest in us?

"I never said that."

"Actions speak louder than words, hyuck."

"Jaemin I... I know I messed up but I have my reasons..."

"Reasons or excuses?" Jaemin was fully pissed off by then as he scoffed.

Donghyuck felt hopeless at the pitiful allegations passed towards him and glanced at jeno trying to seek help from him. 

"Obviously, reasons. Why would I try to excuse myself from you?"

"I... I don't know. Even I don't know why you are becoming like this... I hate to say this but... Ever since you and Mark..."

Jaemin stopped himself from what he was going to say when he felt jeno and Renjun glaring at him.

"Mark and I? What jaemin? I need you to complete yourself."

Jeno held Jaemin's hand and interrupted them, "Hyuck, just leave it. Let's proceed, come on." 

"Yeah," Renjun said, unpacking their bag and pointed towards the net asking them to head there.

Donghyuck taunted and hesitantly moved towards the ground and observed Jaemin doing the same with his wide-eyed expression.

The practice session was rough with the awkwardness flushing from their behavior, especially between Jaemin and Donghyuck.

They often got disturbed while practicing and clashed with the teamwork. They sat down exhausted after they completed the match.

"Jaemin why did you pass the ball to Hyunjin... I asked you to."

"Just because he was nearer... Isn't it obvious?"

"What about that time when-"

"You guys... STOP! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU BOTH ARE STILL THINKING ABOUT WHATEVER THAT IS... JUST STOP ALREADY." Renjun shouted at them fed up with their argument.

Donghyuck and Jaemin put their head down with embarrassment rushing over the validity of Renjun's distress.

Jeno coughed down to break the sleet and gestured everyone to leave as their session ended.  
When Donghyuck was about to walk towards the road, he felt a grip on his elbow.

When he turned back he saw Jaemin frowning with an apologetic expression. Soon, he felt Jaemin bringing his fingers to intertwine their hands.

"Jaemin, Mark isn't responsible for this... Don't bring him into this."

"I didn't mean to-"

"But you did, jaemin. And... To be honest I can't tell you exactly... That day you mentioned... It's... I can't explain it... And no, it's not because I want to conceal anything... I just don't have a legitimate reason to tell you because, heck, it's not even about me and something you don't need to know. Again, it's not downfalling you... I can say, it's very personal, " Donghyuck tries to explain in the best way possible. It was true that he was a bit offended at the accusation but it was also true that Jaemin wasn't aware of Mark's situation or even would visualize his friend's boyfriend suffering anxiety or his abuser being admitted to the hospital. More than anything he wouldn't sacrifice or had any business in denying the truest things of his life, one of them being his friendship. He won't, no, he can't let it hinder what they have now.

"Hyuck, I am not demanding explanations and it's just- you know... That makes me feel the things which aren't healthy for myself and-"

"Huh?"

Jaemin didn't pay heed to his question and continued what he was speaking.

"And it's not about you anyway, so...i don't have a say in that. You know what? We will just leave it for some time... We just need time."

"It's not about explanation, Nana. I don't- I don't want you guys to misinterpret what's going on... And you don't have to worry... It's okay. I just- just don't wanna bother any of you because of me or anyone else... And.." He saw Jaemin looking a bit sorrowful thought for a few seconds, "and... Yeah."

\-------

"Why did you ask me about the D?"

"Because she loves it."

"Who is she?"

"Myne. She is mine. She used to laugh when the love wrecked her."

"Where is she?"

"Waiting for me to break her bones again."

After a wide silence, the latter spoke again.

"She was breathtakingly beautiful but she was even more beautiful while she tried to catch her breath out of pleasure, under me. 

Your tears make your face even more glorious, my love."

\------

"Oy! Jeno?!! You are here? It's just been 45 minutes since I'm waiting, you know, seems delightful!" Donghyuck remarked sarcastically as he rubbed his face with the towel wiping the juice on his mouth. 

When Jeno snickered, and Donghyuck snapped at him, "you were the one who asked me to come to your home to play video games instead of studying but you yourself are late to arrive at your own house... What am I supposed to call this now?"

"Laws of parents who scheduled tuition for me which got eventually and unfortunately." He said placing the bag on the bed and sat down. Donghyuck shifted from the chair and placed himself beside his friend.

"Hyuck you literally have to just walk five minutes from your house to reach mine...And it's not my fault you came early. Now wait for ten minutes, I will freshen up."

"Yes please, you stink"

Jeno threw him half glare as he spoke again, "you are just so annoying sometimes-"

"More like every time."

Jeno got up from the bed and moved towards the restroom removing the wristwatch and leaving it on the table. "Yes, every time, " Jeno remarked, hanging the middle finger in the air solely directed to his friend who was giggling at his mere success of teasing Jeno.

When Jeno was freshening up, Donghyuck himself agreed in his mind that he was indeed early to come to his house but Jeno didn't need to know that. Also, he was waiting only for twenty minutes and his mother assured him that she would call him when Jeno arrives but he insisted on staying, and again, Jeno didn't need to know that either.

However, there is also a reason why he insisted on staying because he was tired of studying too much (only according to him) and needed some rest. If he stayed in his own house, he would constantly be annoyed by Chenle or scolded by his mother for breaking the alarm clock while he was asleep. Since he isn't home, Chenle would be blamed, and as long as he isn't blamed he is safe. 

Most of all He would be lying if he said he didn't crave food in Jeno's house. Jeno's mother feeds him well with all the food he wants without being scolded for eating too much junk and Jeno's mother wouldn't object him as he was the guest in their house. 

But truth to be told, Donghyuck decided that it was better to rather wait for Jeno rather than getting late like the previous time. It's true that he felt offended on that day with the relentless turmoil between Jaemin and himself, which, now, he assimilates it's between him and every one of his friends. Jaemin spoke out his issues while others didn't. That's it. He couldn't stop thinking about this since that day and he felt the urge to talk and clear things out with Jaemin but no one was willing to bring up that topic. He was also awkward to just talk about it randomly when everyone pretended nothing has happened. 'Everyone except Jaemin' he corrected himself.

Jaemin hadn't spoken to him directly or something which wasn't required. They always ended up being silent at Jeno and Renjun's absence. He hated it but couldn't resolve it.

Jeno came back in just five minutes and met with Donghyuck's figure lying on the bed yawning. He groaned stretching his body, the sound caused Donghyuck halting away from his thoughts.

"Getting sleepy, mister?" Jeno snapped his fingers outside Donghyuck's mouth when he yawned.

Donghyuck didn't reply anything as he closed his eyes and sighed deeply. When Jeno sat on the bed alongside, he shifted his head on Jeno's lap catching his head. Soon, Jeno pressed his fingers to his forehead rubbing it and patted his hair, and felt Donghyuck humming with the massage. He relaxed with the cold hand resting on his skin and he felt the nerves calm down.

"Why are you so good at this? Wow heck yeah! Everybody needs a Jeno in their life."

"Jaemin will hit you, Donghyuck!" 

Both of them laughed at the statement and rapidly their laughs died down and felt the comfortable silence drawing between them.

"Okay, jeno, listen na?" Donghyuck spoke softly as if telling a secret only they both knew.

"Do you always pout when you are tired?" 

"Very funny..." Donghyuck raised a brow at him but he felt relieved that it was Jeno who was there. Had it been Renjun, he would receive a merciless smack on his mouth or a pinch on his stomach. Then, had it been Jaemin, he would probably praise him for following his 'aegyo' classes. But that's another story for another day which would hopefully come soon.

"Sorry, tell me." 

"Can we just lie down? I don't wanna play now."

"Hmm, okay. But you wanna talk about it?"

"About what?"

"About what you were thinking when I went to the washroom."

Donghyuck looked at him wide-eyed, "yah! Lee Jeno! How are you so smart!? Again, I must admit, everybody needs a jeno in their miserable mundane life."

"Again saying this, jaemin will hit you."

"Jaemin wouldn't mind sharing." Dinghyuck winked and closed his eyes again.

"Hyuck?"

"Hmm?"

"Don't you think you both must talk it out?"

Donghyuck opened his eyes fully and stared at him with an unreadable expression. "No, don't move... It's okay, stay" Jeno stroked his hair again when he felt Donghyuck trying to raise his head to sit properly.

"Jeno, just leave it some time... It will be alright. Even Jaemin is fine, " I think. 

"You know? You were wrong here. You just ignore many things thinking that it's alright when the situation isn't. You kept Jaemin thinking that you didn't care about what he said to you. That hurts, you know."

"Jeno you can't say that. You see, maybe you would face the same situation because of Jaemin if jaemin wasn't our friend or the vice verse. You both didn't get into this situation because you have your boyfriend and friends in the same group, which is really good. And... You should know that it's not the same as Mark's case because he isn't the same as you three or even the same for you people."

"Hyuck, it's not the problem with Mark. We all really like him, both as your boyfriend or as our brother or friend. Even Jaemin didn't imply that it was Mark's fault."

"I.. I know. But what can I do Jeno? Even if I lie that me being with Mark doesn't take out my time with you guys, it won't change the fact. And... We all must accept the fact my time zones with Mark and my friends aren't independent because I freaking can't be at the same time with different people in different areas."

"But you can absolutely inform about your absence. I understand it can be hectic or difficult to keep up with the schedules but the response is very important. You can't skip without a reason-"

"I have reasons Jeno. I can't... I can't leave Mark like that... I know it's stupid to you guys and I'm sorry I won't tell what's wrong because I simply can't, not because I don't trust you guys... I really do. And Mark? You know that he doesn't have many friends right? He considers you people closer than his own friends... And as awful as it sounds, he needs me sometimes."

Now Donghyuck doesn't have any business in flattering himself in saying that he miraculously solves his problems and he honestly doesn't. If he could, he would definitely solve his problems but Mark... He has been suffering alone for very long and Donghyuck wouldn't let him be alone at any cost. Mark is NOT ALONE when he has Donghyuck.

"Hyuck, I know your reasons are legitimate, and even though I don't understand what you are pertaining but I won't question. I trust you with your reasons but we also need you to trust us. I swear, we never thought that you were probably making out with Mark at the time we called you because we know you aren't. We need you to trust us that we will always be there for you, at any given day or night. We need you to talk about your issues to us, we might not solve your problems but we will support you. You can always vent or confide in us..."

Donghyuck hummed as he thought and a sudden realization hit him how his friends thought the same way about him how he thought of Mark. His friends never failed to support him in his darkest times and it would obviously hurt them if he changed suddenly, whatsoever the reason is.

Jeno continued, "and I'm not saying these things to defend Jaemin because he is my boyfriend. You see, you were my friend before Jaemin and you are our friend before Mark became your boyfriend."

Donghyuck felt the embarrassment as he put his head down and slowly facing the opposite to meet his bare knees. He was obviously guilty for his actions but didn't expect that he hurt them this much. He remembered Jaemin's words which started to make sense now.

"That makes me feel things that are unhealthy for myself."

He understood now that Jaemin felt sore about the fact that maybe Donghyuck didn't trust them anymore but Donghyuck really did. He has never had friends like them in his whole life as his middle school classmates abandoned him after the reasons for meeting up perished. They are the ones whom he trusted the most and became his shoulder to lean on when he laughed or cried.

"Hyuck, this isn't to make you feel guilty. I just want you to clear things up and relax yourself and others too. You just need to be more responsive to us and about jaemin... You both should really talk about this you know, wouldn't want anyone to misunderstand you right?"

Donghyuck shook his head which was laid to rest on his legs.

"Exactly! Being misunderstood is pretty lonely. And when you have us, you will never be lonely."

Donghyuck smiled sheepishly, "I... Just... Thank you Jeno. Thanks a lot.".

"what do you think friends are for?"

\-------

Donghyuck let out a cough as he sat on the classroom bench drinking water. He stopped his action as he felt Renjun, Jeno, and Jaemin coming towards him. He really tried not to laugh at Jaemin's mood as they literally tried to drag him towards Donghyuck. 

"Yah! Lee Jeno! You both are treating me like I'm a prisoner." 

Donghyuck laughed eventually over his distressed situation and turned towards when he felt a nudge on his hand.

"You both!" Renjun edged his index fingertip on Jaemin and Donghyuck's forehead very close to their eyes, "Sucks to be you... But you know what else sucks? Us watching you sucking at everything."

"Exactly! Until you both talk properly we won't come to you guys..." Jeno continued and he said further, "if you don't resolve then I won't even be the part of that stupid group project and you four do it alone..."

"Wait- what group project do we have?"

"We are busy hyuck. Let's go, Jeno. Xiaojun will be waiting for me." Renjun grabbed Jeno's as he walked away.

It was Jaemin and Donghyuck sitting there and as much as they tried to deny that it wasn't awkward, it wasn't true.

Jaemin was the first one to speak.

"Myself, you, Yangyang, Hendery, and Jeno have a group project in English. We have to role play that new drama."

Donghyuck grunted, "What's with that Doyoung guy? He just wants me to tolerate his nuisance all the time. I know, he deliberately does this..."

"But I thought he at least liked Jeno, you know?" Jaemin answered. Donghyuck hummed at the response and offered Jaemin the fruit bingsu he had been eating.

Jaemin obliged and took the spoon and kept in his mouth when he realized something, "Hyuck- I... You little shit... You know I'm lactose intolerant right?"

Donghyuck covered his mouth while laughing, "S-sorry..." but continued laughing as he saw Jaemin munching down the water.

"It's okay," he blankly said.

"I am sorry, " he said again trying to hint what he was sorry for.

"It's okay hyuck-" Jaemin turned towards Hyuck and finally understood what his friend was trying to say, "oh"

"I'm sorry that day and many other days when I disappointed you guys... I should have managed my time and-"

Jaemin shakes his head and closes his eyes before saying, "No, it's okay. And I was at fault too... I shouldn't have come off rude like that and dragged unnecessary things for such a small thing-"

"It's not small if it bothers any of you, Nana." Donghyuck softened his expression and smiled a little, "I don't really say it often but you people are very important in my life... Who kept their promise by standing by my side whenever I needed you guys... And nobody can feel love without experiencing friendship... You taught me many things and I can't afford to hurt you even the slightest but I did... So I'm sorry."

Jaemin slapped his face lightly before muttering an 'idiot' and hugging him completely. Jaemin ruffled his hair and kissed his ear for which Donghyuck rasped with disgust.

"I needed to do that to cool down the emotion after you were being so cheesy about this..." Jaemin said smiling as they pulled away and later both of them broke out into fits of laughter.

As they sat down again, Donghyuck leaned his head on Jaemin's shoulder and said softly, "I heard that Yangyang and Hendery will be joining us for the sports meet football event.. Is that true?"

"Hmm... Yeah! Xiaojun and Renjun too. It's gonna be a long ride."

"They aren't as bad as they seem you know?"

"Mmm..."

\-------

"Do you hear anybody?"

"No, it's just the both of us, James."

"Then why do I hear a few voices?"

"What voices?"

"Few children are crying, that boy is pleading me, the adults are mourning and the ogres are celebrating the victory. Do you hear them too?"

"I do, sometimes."

\-------

"He stayed quiet as if he couldn't hear."

"What couldn't he hear?"

"Me screaming for help."

"Why did you need help?"

"The woman touched me."

"Who is the woman?"

"My mother."

"Why would your mother touch you?"

"The dog... The dog bit me... On the knee and blood started flowing."

"What did you do then?"

"I destroyed them."

"What happened to your father?"

"I made him excel the job he is accustomed to."

"As in?"

"I made him hear nothing from then."

"What if he was hearing things we both hear?"

"No."

"What makes you say so?"

"He wouldn't have bet me if he did."

\-------

"So... Guys! We have no other choice but to play together..." Jeno began raising his hands and placing them at the sides of his torso when nobody else was paying attention to him. He gritted his teeth in annoyance, "GUYSS! LISTEN!" 

Everybody jerked from their places from what they were doing. They pretended to listen for a minute and then again proceeded to whatever shit they were up to. Jaemin, Renjun, and Donghyuck were sharing memes on their phones while on the other side Yangyang and Hendery shooting something for their Instagram story.

"What a combination. I guess we are the only sane ones here. These guys are terrible, " Xiaojun muttered in a monotone standing beside Jeno.

Since fate (read: Kim Doyoung because he was the one who enforced them to keep everyone in the same team) decided to keep them together for the sports meet event, they decided to practice together. They let aside their misunderstandings and come forward to help each other and truth to be told, they got along in a better way. Renjun and Xiaojun handled the matter maturely and asked them to bow ninety degrees for apologizing for God knows what. It was supposed to be weird but came out funny when they did it to each other. They settled to schedule a practice in the afternoon after the study hours but everything was happening except practice. A mouse was dead beside below their bench but they couldn't care less as they were busy.

"Seriously? Who gives importance to stories anyway? It's not like anyone sees those anyway... I never uploaded one, you know..." Xiaojun said loudly but only Jeno responded.

"You never uploaded a story?" He asked in mixed curiosity and astonishment.

"Nah... I don't even remember my account password..."

Jeno laughed at this and comprehended why his account was usually and suddenly both smiled at each other.

Jeno made a split-second decision as he sensed how they were awkwardly smiling so he takes a big breath and moves towards his friends and immediately grabbed Donghyuck's hand to press it tightly.

"Owww! It- hurts! Yah! Stop!" Donghyuck wailed in pain but everybody else was laughing instead of helping him.

"All of you, if you don't come right now, I will bury your faces in the dustbin and make you clean the dead mouse under your bench..." Xiaojun said angrily and everyone seemed shocked at the shocking revelation and had their fingers pressed to nose at the realization.

They all moved quickly to the court and started practicing diligently. Unlike the previous time when they fought while playing, it was quite peaceful and friendly and soon bid their farewell to the football match. But what they noticed is that how much ever they fought, one thing they had in common was that they hated Mr.Doyoung.

"And then he opens his two teeth out looking like a rabbit in her rut... How does he wail? Oo ee ouw eyy ouiw uieww~~" Hendery poorly imitates the former but that was adequate for everyone to break their lungs out in laughter, especially Donghyuck.

He was so satisfied over how they thought the same way of Doyoung. Yangyang is very handsome and funny too, he thinks.

"A donkey imitating a rabbit, " Yangyang said, laughing for which he received a smack on the shoulder. 

After a couple of times, every one of them bid goodbye as Donghyuck and his friends settled themselves to rest when everybody else left. Soon, they witnessed a familiar figure stepping towards them.

"MARK HYUNG?" Renjun raised his hands in the air as he saw the older coming with a smile on his face and packaging in his hands. 

"Oye! Dumbhead! Why are you here?" Donghyuck asked in half surprise and half happily for which Mark just scoffed.

"Hello guys, I brought drinks for you... You would be tired after practice no..." Mark said, waving his free hand.

"Thank you hyung~~" Jaemin smiled brightly at his presence while Mark just hesitantly sat beside Donghyuck in the canteen area. Everybody took the bubble tea he brought and enjoyed their break. They were very exhausted and a drink is the least they could ask for which they were very thankful for Mark.

Donghyuck sipped the juice from the straw and tried to rest his head on Mark's chest but Mark pushed him away.

"Eyy Mark-"

"You are all sweaty and gross..." Mark bluntly answered for which Donghyuck put his hand on the chest faking a gasp. Everybody else fumed on Mark in an angry manner and scolded him for betraying their best friend.

"Hyung? You can't do this to our Hyuck." Jeno said, offensively obviously joking.

"Donghyuck looks sexy in shorts doesn't he?" Jaemin asked, wiggling his brows teasingly and later widened his eyes again, "You did him very bad."

In spite of all this, Donghyuck just snickered and enjoyed how his friends were teasing Mark even though taking his name.

"I agree he looks hot but-"

"Ooooooohhhhh!" Everybody cooed when Mark said that and Jaemin wouldn't miss a chance like this, "So.., " he clears his throat, "why don't you kiss your hot boyfriend now?"

"I- I won't.."

"KISS HIM! KISS HIM! KISS HIM!"

Everybody clapped their hands in agreement and Donghyuck still enjoying this moved his cheek closer to Mark's figure.

Mark raised his hands in defeat and tried to give a definition of Donghyuck being sweaty at that moment but he received a reply of 'I washed my face earlier' from Donghyuck.

Mark said later, "You guys, you-" he laughed off the embarrassment, "you are behaving like high school girls who enjoy romance."

"I don't care what you think, just do it Hyung," Renjun said frustrated.

Mark cleared his throat for a few seconds and slowly leaned to Donghyuck's face to press a soft kiss on his right cheek. Donghyuck gasped in surprise pretending as if it was the first time they did it and Mark was rubbing his nape while blushing furiously.

"You know what you get after removing 'r' from friends? Fiends. That's what you people are." Mark said glimmering.

"My friends know what I want," Donghyuck said for which he received a slight slap on his knee from Mark.

"You will get the fiends when you remove 'r' in that. R stands for Renjun. I'm not the fiend." Renjun says shrugging.

Mark was soon to object, "Renjun? Don't lie. You are the same as these guys. Remember that day of music competition when you threatened Donghyuck after you saw his message-" he immediately stopped himself realizing what he was going to reveal.

"Mark you are the stupidest person in the whole world." Donghyuck said, glaring at him.

"What was I threatening Hyuck?" Renjun asked, giving an evil smug on his face, "what did you do Mark?" He wiggled his eyes innocently but the situation was nowhere innocent.

"Renjun- i- Noo... You can't let it out." Donghyuck rounded his mouth into an '0'.

"What did he do?" Jeno and Jaemin asked together.

Renjun laughed devilishly, asking them to get closer and let the kitten out of the bag of how Mark smartly (read: stupidly) asked Donghyuck to make love with him and they reacted very similar to how Mark and Donghyuck expected.

"That's.. That's astonishingly very bad flirting, Hyung," Jaemin says in disbelief but also in a teasing way.

"Is it a coincidence that I am having tea right now?" Jeno said, pointing the straw to Mark's face.

"Good things come to those who wait, Hyung." Renjun said shamelessly.

"The 'good' sounds so 'bad' here, " Jeno continued.

"It's not bad for them tho, " Jaemin smiled prettily hiding the satan inside his throat.

"You people are so annoying, " Donghyuck faked a cry and banged his head to the table covering his face while others just laughed merrily.

As they moved out of the campus, Mark walked together till the bus stop and waited for the bus.

Just as when Mark was about to zip out the bag to take out the money, he felt a soft material touching his boots. He realized that it was a dog, although a small one, smelled the leather material. Donghyuck was immediate in response as he bent down to push it away. But this time, Mark crouched down and tried to sit in the air and gathering all of his leftover courage tried to caress it.

"I won't let this govern my life, Hyuck. I promise."

Donghyuck is glad.

\-----

"Did you kill your parents?"

"I did not."

"Then who did?"

"I did."

"Why did you?"

"Oh, did I?"

"You didn't?"

"I don't know."

"Are you lying?"

"Yes."

"Why are you?"

"A prostitute always lies about her virginity with the doctor if she has her mother around."

"What about you lying then?"

"I think my mother is watching me too."

\-------

"The roses have wilted  
The violets are dead  
The demons run circles  
Round and round in my head.

The angels on my shoulders are lighter and nowhere loud near the demons in my head.

Tea is a very good drink. But I prefer alcohol. I don't like the food here, it tastes like scat or worse. My ashtray is nowhere to be seen and the cigarette doesn't glow. My lungs feel healthy but my heart feels heavy. Beer tastes bitter but so does the tonic. I feel like dying.

Sleeping seems very peaceful without nightmares. I don't want to scream for help. It feels nice to have my legs immobilized and heart silenced. No brains asking me to speak. It feels nice. It is nice. I like to sleep.

Maybe this is what we feel when we die. This is what we feel when no one prays for your life and leaves you abandoned in hell.

Maybe I did walk my way back from hell down the earth. Maybe it's time to get back."

\-------

"What do you mean he is dead?" Mark asked Kun partly agitated and partly shocked at the comprehension of his uncle's demise as the situation caused him to lose the last bit of reasoning he persisted and the wild thought of it being a suicide petrified him.

Immediately he felt a nudge at the side pulling his shirt hem, "Shush, Relax Mark. Let him speak." Donghyuck wasn't smiling when he said that but that nod gave him an imaginary hope, hope that everything will be okay. Soon.

Very soon.

"Last night he locked himself in the room and stabbed himself," Kun said, removing the coat and hanging it freely on the chair handle. Well, Mark didn't want to squander his time by asking the logical questions of how James got access to the knife or how he could be able to lock himself when he was always surrounded by nurses to take care of him because James was one of the weirdest and dangerous human being he has ever known. He could have easily pushed them away and manipulated them physically or verbally. He always got what he wanted. 

And maybe death was one of them.

"If you don't mind, can you explain his situation a bit? Like, why this happened suddenly and all?" Donghyuck asked, concerned.

"Yeah, sure. Can you- can you give five minutes? I actually have to work on that file. I will be back soon." 

"Yeah, okay."

"Excuse me."

Donghyuck nodded while Mark looked down at nothing.

Mark felt his breath hitch and let the ephemeral feeling of relief, wilderness flow through his body. He felt many types of emotions at the same juncture and it was difficult to contemplate the overwhelming and overbearing senses. First, he was shocked because of the suddenness of the action and unable to process the series of events in such a short period of time. On the other hand, he was relaxed that his abuser was no more there to haunt him in his life. In dreams? Mark wasn't sure. Legitimately, he would deny that he wasn't affected by his antics because he was definitely afraid of him. However, he felt grief because even after all this, he obviously wouldn't want James to die.

He sighed deeply with the furrowed eyebrows and pulled the leather of the chair and tore it part by part. He kept on scratching it with the nails and gritted his teeth in helplessness when he failed to tear them.

Donghyuck looked at him concerned and placed his cold hand on Mark's to gently place them inside his and shifted them to his hoodie's pocket, safe from the outside world.

"Donghyuck, did we- did we inform taeyong Hyung? Is he coming- where is he? Oh no. I will call him-"

"Shhh... Calm down, " Donghyuck placed his index finger on his lips, "We informed him already."

"Oh did we? I was just making sure."

"It's okay."

It is going to be okay.

"Hello gentlemen, I'm sorry. Took a bit longer." Kun came in a hurry inside the room and interrupted Donghyuck and Mark with their worthless conversation. At the same time, Taeyong joined them with one of his familiar smiles and a drop of sweat making it's way to his forehead. 

The four men crouched in the room when all got settled and Kun took his turn to start speaking.

"I... I actually don't know where to begin. James was a weird guy and dealing with him was menace seriously. The first few sessions were quite fine because he listened to me... And that's because I listened to him too. I often agree to everything he mumbles and related myself to the situations he faced. You see, he would obviously not like someone objecting to the very word he said, even though it's a lie. He would also not like me telling things he would deny. He would lie." He took a long pause, "He said it himself that even a prostitute would lie about her virginity if her mother was around." He added chuckling.

"Why would he lie then? It's not like he cared about what others think of him anyway... I mean... Like... Every one of us knows him anyway." Mark asked.

"He said he was watched by his mother."

"W-what? What the heck? But his patents are-"

"Exactly. He was hallucinating his mother. There is no possibility that he can see the ghost of his mother because well... I don't need to explain that. And in the treatments, I handled personally I felt many questionable results in him. He was just- I don't know. I can't really say because he lied to me a lot... Obviously, but the thing is, he used to admit that he lied which is weirder. I can say, he didn't really care about the world, you know."

"But Dr.Kun? What's exactly he was suffering from?" Taeyong asked patiently. 

"According to the reports and conclusions and the judging of his weird behavior, I can say it's... schizophrenia."

"What's that?" Donghyuck inquired.

"You see, Donghyuck, " Taeyong starts explaining, "Schizophrenia is a chronic psychiatric disorder. People with this disorder experience distortion of reality, often experiencing delusions or hallucinations. This quite makes sense because the doctor said he has had hallucinations."

"Not just that, people with this kind of illness also face auditory illusions and have no differentiation from reality and the imagination. They always keep speaking something and sometimes, to themselves. They keep thinking that some things are real and some are not. These people usually tend to face nightmares a lot and feel afraid to speak but truth to be told, they are more afraid of the day because the imagery prompts them to do the things which aren't conventional or unreasonable to the people who aren't them. It makes them feel vulnerable to speak the truth considering the fear if acceptance in the normal world. Some studies have also shown that the patients of this disorder feel that they have their own separate world void of the normal people in whose world they wouldn't fit into. So... Like basically they feel like they aren't included in the normal surroundings because they cannot adapt themselves to others. This is also very painful because you are aware, aware that you aren't feeling well but can't express the condition because of the fear of acceptance."

"There are also things like that they aren't accustomed to the things they were yesterday. Sometimes he resents consuming tomatoes because they are red and it reminds him of the clown. He says he doesn't like red or white because that's how a clown looks like and it appears dangerous to him. But according to the information I have received from you, you said he killed a dog and that absolutely displays a flash of blood which is red again."

"Is that because he felt weaker during the treatment that he got scared of red?" Mark questioned.

"Ummmm...It could be. A schizophrenic brain structure is different too you know... In fact, the medical reports of his brain were the main instinct to provide us with the information of him having schizophrenia. A normal brain and the schizophrenic brain are very different. There is a region called the prefrontal cortex at the top right side which helps people think logically and organize their thoughts and some people have very little activity in this part. Those people mainly suffer this. This may be one reason that they suffer from delusions as they don't get the part of the brain for logical thinking. Sometimes these have a connection with the auditory and visual cortex which would obviously function poorly. And this way, we can actually understand they are indeed hearing voices in their head. They also have disorganized thought patterns and that's how they tend to get confused between the imagery and reality. Sometimes they get too much burdened with the things that they don't realize some things are already said by them and for some sake, they object their own speech. Just like how he talked about murdering his parents."

"Murder?" Mark was shifted from the sense of confusion to shock at the last part of what Kun said, most of the confusion engulfing around the very scientific detail presented to him, but one thing he understood is that he hallucinates and another bunch of material things.

"Yes! It's true... The explanation we got pretty much counts up to this because he hated his parents a lot... Well, he was sexually abused by his own mother."

Mark and Donghyuck pretend they are unfazed.

"And this caused a lot of side effects too. He has outgrown to be a perverted kid and eventually a man who manipulated his girlfriend. He confessed it himself about this. And... I remember faintly... That he was once bit by a dog or something on his knee so that explains why he killed yours."

"Can I ask how he told this much information to you? All of this was very secretive and I wonder how he could manage to let it out like this. Simply?"

"Well... We are doctors." He chuckled, "Just kidding, we allowed him to speak whatever he wanted to. And studies show that people like these often engage themselves in the writing to express their thoughts and it is proved that the display of their creativity can boost their expression. So.. We gave him a diary. He wrote daily, a few days, he wrote nothing but just scribbled and lewd images of stick figures and bodies lying like the dead or how he hated the whole universe as if panting against him."

"Can-can I read it?" Mark asked timidly.

"Yeah sure, " Kun bent down and took out the book from the drawer and handed it to Mark.

"I'm so.. I'm sorry..." He mumbled embarrassed as he dropped it accidentally and quickly grabbed it from the ground bending. It was true what Kun said because all he could see was the blank ink pressed tightly at one point and the impression left on the next pages of the book. 'This is what we call a metaphor' he thought. 

He turned the pages with the sweaty hand and suddenly stopped at one page which caught his attention.

"I hate the world, I used to believe the world is a very lively place to live in, but the humans don't prove so. Humans, the devilish creatures, not just with the humans, they couldn't even be loyal to their creator, Jesus."

"At least he believes Jesus exists," Mark scoffed. But again, he knew, the evilest manifestations of the universe consider the prevalence of Almighty.

Satan is a God. A death god.

But after reading the other pages of the brown diary he understood the level of toxicity inside James' psyche which cannot be withered with the all the positivity he could shower.

But how much would you have to hate the world to wipe yourself out from it? And transcend into one of your own?

"This isn't done. I mean, he shouldn't have died like this." Mark spoke softly and turned his head towards Taeyong, "Hyung, if he wasn't subjected to the treatment, is it possible that he would have survived? That he wouldn't have suicidal thoughts? Would he still be happy at least in his imaginary world?"

Taeyong answered, gathering his courage, "The world of possibilities is huge, Mark. Yeah, it is true that he could still be alive if this wasn't the case but we must also consider the fact that schizophrenia isn't a curable disease. It is one of the most chronic mental disorders. And his condition was out of control, to be honest. You cannot compare it with your case because the period has a vast difference. You have been suffering GAD for just 8 years and he had been schizophrenic since he was 8 years old. Just as the squares of a numeric value increases with the number the atrocity of mental disorder ages with time. It's melancholy increases with compressed feelings. All I can answer for now is that, since he got admitted and treated under supervision, his story didn't remain untold. The message is passed on. That's one good thing."

Mark hums in response.

"After all this, can I ask one last thing? Why did he have to do this to me? All over again?" Mark asked hopelessly.

Taeyong smiled at his question, "Because the best way to show your heart isn't broken is to pretend to not have it all."

It could mean many things but Mark settles with the one easy to understand and the one which lends him peace. A heart wanting to be yearned didn't deserve this. He definitely deserved a softer epilogue of his miserable life and Mark hoped James would receive it in his world.

When he laid his head on Donghyuck's lap that night, Donghyuck whispered softly as he kissed his head, "you wake up every morning to fight the same demons that left you last night, and that I think, my love, is bravery."

Mark closed his eyes and had the most peaceful sleep in his whole life. 

\--------

“I missed you so much!” Donghyuck said, faking a cry, but in a genuine way as he threw himself in his father's chest when he went to receive him. “How did your seminars go?”

“Good. Everything is good.” His father said with a smile, ruffling Donghyuck's hair. 

On the way back home, Mr. Lee was now done with the Schizophrenia obsession his child was having. The days when Donghyuck was not interested in psychology were long gone. And maybe his father wanted those days again with the amount of talking Donghyuck was doing.

“...when kids talk to themselves, it's normal, but if an adult is speaking to himself it's schizophrenia.” His father chuckled immediately. 

“You can't always judge a kid talking to himself is normal. Because in the case of James, he wasn't normal even at the age of 8.” his father added.

“I can't help but feel bad for him, you know. Not every child is born abusive, the environment in which they live makes them one.” 

“That's the catch.” his father said with a clap. 

“I myself feel like murdering his parents for doing such a thing to a child. How can a mother- ugh. Thinking about all this makes me hate the world.” Donghyuck said, frustrated as he fell back on the seat. 

“Maybe he is now in a better place.” The atmosphere was filled with silence for the next couple of minutes and Donghyuck couldn't help but curse everyone that was responsible for this and that made Mark suffer. He was lost in his own thoughts looking out of the window seriously, biting his nails in frustration.

His father whacked his fingers bringing him back to earth. “Stop.” smack. “Biting.” smack. “your.” smack. “nails.” Donghyuck laughed, enjoying his father's frustration.

“I told you so many times. I'll put wasabi on your nails next time while you're asleep, beware.” Donghyuck laughed while his father was still angry at him. 

“All these things are so weird,” Donghyuck said after a few minutes, switching the topic to what he was wondering from the last couple of days. “The human mind is so fascinating and it's so scary too.” 

“Yes, that's very true.” His father agreed. “Anyways, if we are into this conversation for the next few minutes it might turn you into a doctor and you will be sitting in my chair from tomorrow.” 

“Me as a therapist: ‘sleep for 24hours and you will be okay’. ” Donghyuck said, making his father chuckle. 

“I heard it's Mark's counseling today?" 

“Yea. It should be starting at any minute.” Donghyuck said looking into his watch. “You doctors have everything informed or what?”

His father shrugged causally. “So, what have you been up to these days?” 

“Me? Well, oh yeah.” Donghyuck's eyes widened as he remembered a bunch of things he wanted to tell his father. “There's a lot to tell you, and you won't believe what all happened.”

✨⚖️📝✨

Mark appreciated Doctor Kun for the way he interacted in the counseling session. The session was smooth.

At least for him to say ‘yeah it was all good’ to the ones who asked him, for instance, his parents and Johnny. But deep down he was not satisfied with whatever was happening inside of him. 

Mark texted Donghyuck that his session was over and would meet him in a few hours or so. 

“Hey.” Taeyong greeted Mark when he reached his cabin. “So?” 

“So?” 

“So? I'm asking about the session.” 

“Oh.” Mark paused. “It was good.”

Taeyong lifted his eyebrows. “I guess I deserve a unique answer.” 

Mark sighed. “Hyung…” Mark began. “I don't understand.”

“Understand?” 

“Back then, I felt as if I saw myself in James. Feeling angry all the time…” Mark breathed out as he felt a throbbing pain and nausea from his stomach. “Or, hurting Lucas, Donghyuck…” He paused. Mark's lips quivered as he continued “I even tried hurting myself. What if all things happened has turned me more like him or worse.” 

Taeyong moved forward and held Mark's shoulders. “Listen, Mark, you need to understand that you are not a bad person. You are a good person with whom bad things have happened. But let me tell you that you are very strong. Strong enough to choose something positive. Mark, you went through these changes, you have seen yourself getting angry, frustrated, and sad but you tried to stop yourself, you tried to change in fear that you will hurt the people you love the most. Life always gives us choices to choose between ‘this or that’ choosing to walk on a good path was your choice. But the same might not have happened with James. James chose the path which constantly walked on negative emotions, hatred towards this world, and hurting others. The path we walk on makes the most difference and remember that's who we really are.” Taeyong said softly patting his cheek. 

“Mark, people might not agree but love changes the way you look into the world. The time when you had feelings for Donghyuck, I remember you talking about him for hours and hours forgetting all your pain and I've never seen you so genuinely happy. It's not like James didn't have love in his life, he was just extremely hurt that made him blind to acknowledge the good things that could've happened if he thought about it. But while you chose to move on, True strength is the art of forgiveness.” 

“Well, in that case, isn't James a good person too, if he was not subjected to things he shouldn't be?” 

“Of course. It's not his fault that his parents were bad. And it's not his fault that he was forced to choose the path he shouldn't and most importantly Mark, it's not your fault. You were too young to raise your voice against violence.” 

“Hyung, I don't think I forgive him for what he has done to me. But I could say, I accepted. Me as myself with a terrible past. For me, forgiving him- I just don't know. It's not just him, it's me too that has gone through situations I don't deserve. I understand what all he has gone through but that won't change the reality that he's a bad person.” 

“Acceptance is a good thing, Mark. You don't need to forgive him just today or tomorrow or in the near future. Your heart needs time to accept a few things your mind already knows about. But what I'll be glad about tomorrow is knowing that you are no more dwelling in the pain of your past and accepting it and moving on. I assure you that, the chapter you have been fearing since your childhood will no more haunt you.” 

Mark nodded with a faint smile. Taeyong smiled, wrapping his arm around Mark. Mark relaxed, hugging back Taeyong, feeling refreshed with a newer and better understanding of himself.

✨⚖️📝✨

Donghyuck sat down on the sofa murmuring the lyrics of a song only he knows in existence as his thumb traveled the phone screen. He kept on thinking about the approaching vacation only to realize he would have to write exams before the summer.

"I hate my life, " He said looking at the ceiling and began fantasizing about how beautiful the summer would be.

"Summer, you are awaited," he said again and resumed his singing until his mother chimed in, "You idiot, you can help me instead of swimming in the phone. Always immersed in the mechanical box forgetting that other people still exist."

“You are the main reason for him to behave like this. Giving him unnecessary gifts to him and spoiling him.” His mother said turning to his father who was sitting on the couch with a book in his hands. 

He looked up at her innocently and back to Donghyuck raising his eyebrows asking him ‘What happened’. Donghyuck shrugged back innocently with a curve forming on his lips. 

Donghyuck hissed in irritation as he felt his mother grabbing the phone away from him and proceeded to the hall but again stopped when he heard a voice.

"What happened now?" He shouted frustrated and moved towards his garden again.

"This happened," His mother showed the screen making sure that it was clearly visible to him.

Donghyuck leaned forward to see the screen and saw that Jaemin texted him. But the problem wasn't Jaemin texting him. The problem was that Donghyuck saved Jaemin's contact name saved as "bitch🖕" and Donghyuck knew, considering all the laws of nature that he is screwed.

"Explain."

"Wh-what should I explain?" 

"Do you use this type of language with your friends?" She furiously asked him with furrowed brows, "You are like this in our notice, what do you do when we aren't around?"

Donghyuck troubled his mind over the mundane excuses and picked up the one which made the most sense which won't work on her mother obviously. “Mom... Actually... That... Its- its-"

"Actually, really, no, uh? What else?” she turned to her husband again, “I'm telling you, he has become so worse, giving all rubbish excuses! I'll throw you out of the house, Donghyuck!"

"Listen to me, no. You see... What's the spelling... b I t c h? Right? It's the autocorrect mom. It was supposed to be a witch... What's the spelling? W I t c h? See? Only a letter difference right? Makes sense." He tries to explain with a fake smile and awkward laugh to convince her.

"Hmm... Uhh? Why is it witch then? And what's with the middle finger with that?" She asks, placing her hands around her waist and giving a curious glare.

"He...umm.. He... Mom... He practiced in the fancy dress competition no... He played the role of a witch... See... Yeah... That only... That's why... And the middle finger depicts the direction of the magnetic field, you know?"

"Your excuses are just like you, senseless and stupid, You don't even study physics, hyuck" She scoffed leaving a heavy breath for which Donghyuck felt relieved because she didn't react more although a bit disappointed that his ‘genius’ Lie didn't work out.

"Also," the woman continued sighing, "the middle finger is the direction of the current, not the magnetic field. Ask your brother to correct himself too. He failed the whole chapter."

"How did you know?" Donghyuck asked genuinely surprised by the amount of knowledge his mother had.

"Mothers know everything." She said curving her lips upwards.

"Amazing!" He sarcastically clapped, "but why did jaemin text me? Give me the phone."

She nodded and gave it to him, "it seems something about a party he is hosting... He is calling that Mark guy too." 

"Oh, " he replied and checked the messages and sat down on the chair, and suddenly felt another shadow commencing towards him "Hyuck?"

"Hmm?"

"Why is this Mark guy everywhere on your phone?” 

Donghyuck widened his eyes in surprise but was more surprised by the tone his mother used. It was a lot warmer, appealing, and full of expectation. He stared at her for a second and pretended that he never heard her.

"He is a great guy, I told you no? He's my close friend. " Donghyuck turned towards her curiously by now and looked into her searching eyes. She hummed in response. Donghyuck gulped to her hum which sounded more like something he detected. Lies.

Donghyuck looked at his father who glanced back at him in tiny.

“Is that it?” his mother asked. “Won't Mark feel bad if he is called your close friend?" 

Donghyuck looked at her with astonishment. "Do you... Do you perhaps know-"

"That you both are together? Yeah." She smiled dazzlingly cradling the sides of his face causing him to smile as well, now, a genuine one.

"H- how? Just how?" He asked half laughing.

"What did I say? Mothers-"

"Yeah okay, mothers know everything." He laughed. But then something strikes his mind, "Mom?"

"Yes?"

"Do you know everything about Mark?" He asked concerned careful to imply what he intended to, in a careful way.

"Yes, I know." She nodded affirmatively and patted his hair, "You both are pretty obvious you know, also your dad wouldn't shut up about you both," Donghyuck looked at his father while he just shrugged.

Donghyuck scoffed but shifted his gaze to his mother again. Thankfully, he found no hesitation in her expression, "It's okay, Hyuck. Because his illness wouldn't change the fact that-"

“That he is one of the most amazing people you can ever encounter. We like him.” his father continued interrupting his mother and placed the book on the table not forgetting to place a bookmark in between.

“And he is a genius you know, he is handling a person like you when he has anxiety while I'm here raising you and your idiot brother causing one, ” she said. 

Donghyuck flashed a blank expression to his mother while his parents laughed. 

“How about a movie marathon this weekend?”

“With this fellow's exams next month? No thank you.” His mother said before Donghyuck was about to nod his head.

“I can't believe we are canceling a date because of you.” 

His mother smiled sitting beside Mr. Lee and played along. “I know it's sad. We will see with my best son, you stay in your room or go out.” 

Donghyuck pressed his lips into a thin line getting up furiously. “Fine. I'm not important to you, no? I'll just move out then. You guys live happily!” 

Both of them laughed while his mother called him to sit in front of him. “No! How are we complete without you?” she said hugging him from behind while ruffling his hair, affectionately. “Happiness has 9 letters and so does our Donghyuck.” Donghyuck smiled in satisfaction as he left a peck on her cheek. 

“So, are we going to Grandma's this summer?” 

“For Mom and Chenle to bring more plants? Definitely not!” Donghyuck shook his head. “The last time we went there and got those plants, they are now growing like monsters.” 

“I don't understand the point of calling them monsters when you are bigger than them. And plants bring peace to the house and environment.”

“They also bring a lot of dirt and mosquitos. And I hate those creatures and you know I'm sensitive.” Donghyuck said, making a disgusted face. 

“Yeah and still you go play around them later cry over it, you are irresponsible-” 

“Honey, you are sensitive to insects too, remember?” Donghyuck's father interrupted making Donghyuck fall on his back laughing. “Remember that time when we visited that botanical garden and she got scared over a butterfly and said she won't come there again?” Donghyuck nodded and both of them started laughing.

His father looked back at her innocently and pinched her cheeks. “Make me some coffee, will you?” 

She quickly got up from there angrily and walked into the kitchen. 

“Seems like we have a problem.” 

“Solve it then,” Donghyuck said chuckling. “I'm going out.” 

“Take care baby!” 

Donghyuck waved him bye and left the house. 

✨⚖️📝✨

“Your mom is so sweet! I can't believe I was stressing out for this so much but the whole thing ended up within moments.” Mark said taking the ice-cream Donghyuck was handing him. 

“Why fear when I am here?” Donghyuck said, wiggling his eyebrows. 

“You are just the starter pack of how fear and tension looks like,” Mark said, licking his ice cream. 

“Haha, very funny.” while Donghyuck said that, he spotted some stranger on a bike winking at Mark and drove away as if nothing happened. 

Mark was as confused as Donghyuck was. He looked back and forth if the wink was intended to him or not. Strangely no one was found around him. 

“Do you know him?” Donghyuck questioned. 

“No? I mean yes, but I'm not sure if he's the one I think.” 

Donghyuck tilted his face, lifting his eyebrows. “Huh?” 

Mark laughed, awkwardly while Donghyuck frowned, nevertheless, he let go of the topic. 

Both of them enjoyed hanging out at random places, playing arcade games, and also enjoyed drinking and eating delicious food. 

When they were hanging out with others in the park, Donghyuck was glad to see Mark acting normal around dogs and didn't freak out. 

Mark, by this time, was also used to how extra Donghyuck's friends were, and Mark was totally done with their pointless arguments and foolish topics like fighting over which is better? Time-traveling or teleportation.

“Do you want to hang out by the lake? Remember the new year?” Mark said, excitedly looking at Donghyuck with beaming eyes after they bid goodbye to their friends. 

Donghyuck and Mark looked over to the sun setting. 

“Now. That's how the lake consumed the sun. Since the sun was too hot, the lake sends him back to the sky again the next morning.” 

Mark laughed at the stupid story Donghyuck made up looking at the sunset which seemed like the sun was falling into the lake. Reminding him that things which seem to look like happening are not always real. Maybe, the assumption he made about him turning into James was something of this kind. 

Mark didn't know if whatever he thought made sense but at least it convinced him that James and Mark are not the same. 

This was certainly the end of the phase of his life, the terrible one. He looked at the setting sun hoping James was now resting in peace, in a better place filled with positivity in the next life. 

Mark came to reality when Donghyuck placed his head on the shoulder and sighed. 

Minutes passed by as the atmosphere turned cold. They walked home and sat in front of the fireplace at Mark's house. 

“You've met Taeyong's parents?” 

“Yea, last year. I hope mom and dad are having a good time with them.” 

“Yeah, they would. Your parents love Taryong-ie Hyung.” Donghyuck said with a smile. 

Mark wrapped a blanket around both of them and Donghyuck felt warming up in his embrace.

“I honestly love time traveling though.” 

“You are still thinking about it?” Mark asked, chuckling. 

“Imagine going back on time. We could do so many things. So many changes. Like, I would save you.” 

Mark giggled softly. “Don't laugh. I'm dead serious. You don't like the sound of it?” 

Mark shook his head. “I don't.” 

Donghyuck pouted leaving a peck on his neck. “Why?” he asked softly. 

“What if altering the timeline would make the future worse?” Mark questioned. 

“What do you mean?” 

“I mean…” Mark paused as Donghyuck changed his position to face him. “What if I didn't meet you in the future?”

“Better than you being tortured by a monster.” 

“Or what if I met you, but I was a toxic one?” 

Donghyuck chuckled awkwardly. “Why would you be one?” 

“If things were meant to happen they will happen anyway. Good might turn into bad or good situations might turn worse. This, I mean the present, look at you and me, isn't this nice? Donghyuck I don't want a life without experiencing something so wonderful like you... I might sound cringy or whatever, I love this, I love the way things turned out and even if time travel was real, I don't need one.” 

“You think so much..” Donghyuck said smiling as he buried his face in Mark's neck. Changing the topic Donghyuck asked, “Who was the one who winked at you anyway?” 

Mark laughed. “A guy from my class, he joined like a month ago. He's strange. And very soft too, he got close with Lucas recently, he's kinda touchy, I mean affectionate.” 

Donghyuck hummed in response. “Why? Is my baby jealous?” 

“Pfft. Jealous? Me?” Donghyuck scoffed. Mark nodded laughing at his question. 

“I don't get jealous over people hugging you.”

“Hmm? Really?” Mark raised his eyebrows, “Well, I have to admit, he gives better hugs than you.” 

It was not a minute late, Donghyuck got out of the blanket and hit Mark with a pillow. 

“Say the truth,” he demanded. 

“I'm sorry…” Mark apologized laughing. “No hug means so much as much as yours does.”

“What did you say his name was, again?” Donghyuck asked as Mark pulled him into his arms again.

“I didn't, he's Jungwoo,” Mark said, as he felt Donghyuck's hair caressed his cheeks while Mark's hands were playing with Donghyuck's fingers. 

“Mark?” 

“Yes?” 

“What if we fall out of love in the future?” 

Mark let go his fingers surprised with the sudden question and felt a sudden rush of fear filling in him.

“Would you cheat on me?” Donghyuck asked, looking at him.

Mark smiled hovering onto the younger one, placing his hand above his head. “You can never make me fall out of love, trust me, just stay as you are,” he said, taking Donghyuck's hands and kissing them softly. “I don't know about you though.” he teased. But internally the truth was, the question terrified him.

“My first kiss, first love, the first partner in everything, you're mine and I'm yours.” Donghyuck paused staring at Mark lovingly. Those eyes look so beautiful.

It felt as if Mark had stopped breathing for that hot second.

Moments later, Donghyuck added, “Saying this isn't my style anymore, once a soulmate is bonded, the connection never dies. And soulmates never fall out of love.” 

Donghyuck leaned forward connecting their lips. It was so wonderful that Donghyuck felt his heart pounding and the rush of euphoric feeling run through his body just like the first time he kissed him. 

Donghyuck smiled as Mark's hands traveled under his shirt warming his body. He bit his lower lip causing the older to hiss in pain. He was never going to get enough of this.

Donghyuck quietly giggled without breaking the kiss and let his hands travel through Mark's hair, messing it when Mark connected their foreheads. 

“I love you,” Mark whispered. 

“I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So thats it for the main story guys! We tried to bring the importance of a proper childhood and parents and described how it can turn your life drastically. If it made you feel better, we are really really happy.


	5. Love song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I can try tomorrow  
> If I do it together with you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now let's get on the time machine for a Little future travel? :)

⇄ ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ ↻

❮ ♪♩ ɪ ᴄᴀɴ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ʜᴇᴀʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ   
ʙʀᴇᴀᴛʜɪɴɢ sᴏᴜɴᴅ   
sɪɴᴄᴇ ᴡᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ᴛʜɪs ᴄʟᴏsᴇ,   
ɪ ᴡɪsʜ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ   
sᴛᴏᴘ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜɪs ♪♩ ❯

“Baby! I'm home!” Donghyuck shouted as he entered the house and closed the door behind quietly. He took his blazer off and rolled his sleeves. “I know we were going to have fun this weekend, but I'm sorry.” 

He gasped in happiness as he felt the stress inside him decreasing slowly. Mark walked outside his elegant study room with a wide smile plastered on his face. His smile dropped immediately as he saw Donghyuck sitting on his legs hugging and caressing the very recent member of their small family, Coco. 

He pressed his lips into a thin line, expressing a strong sense of disappointment. He stormed back into his study room after being completely ignored by his love. 

“He could've apologized to me first at least today!” Mark mumbled to himself. He was by this time furious by the fact that Donghyuck didn't attend to his first-ever book sign, nor informed him about not being able to make it for the event. Don't blame him, it was not easy to sit on the same chair for hours waiting for the one and only to come. 

Donghyuck definitely liked to spice things up when all of them were going in a smooth way. But whatever came to pass, he was still grateful to meet him in his life, or else his life wouldn't have turned out like this. The thing he was feeling was being happy and healthy from inside, nightmares were like a visiting guest, sometimes the voices that haunted you in the past are engraved into your mind forever, you can't get them out even if you want to. 

But he was okay to live with it when Donghyuck would pat him or control them immediately, he didn't know how though, Donghyuck was a deep sleeper but he still managed to always control him, maybe that's why Mark thought Donghyuck had some kind of superpowers.

Mark was now able to live without medications with exercises, yoga, and maybe yearly few visits to Taeyong, his therapist. After Coco, the golden retriever came into his life, he felt a good change, it was hard in the beginning but soon the pain was happiness. 

“Ola, babydoll!” Donghyuck said in a cute way ruffling the golden retriever who was now all over Donghyuck with his happiness filling to an extreme level with his master back from the work. 

“Coco-ya.” Donghyuck giggled softly as he continued playing with him. 

“Why aren't all the humans like you, dude?” Donghyuck pouted as he let him into his tiny house watching him peacefully drifting to sleep. 

Donghyuck's eyes were giving up slowly too. Writing submissions and sitting in front of the computer, reading, writing, and conversations with clients was not a plain job. Being a lawyer was not an easy career and he was thankful that he was already getting a hang of it. 

He walked into the shower collecting the events of the day. He sighed as he remembered that he couldn't attend Mark's event, it was his first event after all. 

Walking out of the shower he felt comfortable wearing sweatpants and a light t-shirt. Donghyuck's lips curved into an impressive smile looking at the dishes Mark tried to make. 

It's not like Donghyuck didn't read his book though, he took the book and walked into the study room and looked at Mark who was busy working on his laptop. 

He placed the book on the table and mumbled softly, “Hey..” 

Mark could see his book being placed on the table but acted as if he didn't notice. He hummed in response. 

“Trying too hard to get, huh?” Donghyuck chuckled as he placed himself on his lap wrapping his arms around his neck, to which Mark glared at him in frustration. 

“Can't you bloody see I was working?” 

“Of course, I can. But am I not more important?” 

Mark raised his eyebrows, shaking his head. “No? You have things more important than me too, right?” 

Donghyuck licked his lower lip looking down. Mark encircled his arm around Donghyuck's tiny waist holding him. 

“You must've been busy, I understand.” Mark nodded. But you know the feeling when you know you should be accepting the schedules of your partner but at the same time, you can't help but be mad for not showing courtesy to inform you? Maybe Mark was feeling the same. 

“I'm sorry..” Donghyuck meant, playing with the buttons of Mark's shirt. “I know I should've informed you but…” Donghyuck paused. 

“Will you sign my book now, Sir? I'm a very big fan of you.” Donghyuck said looking at Mark with pleading eyes. 

“Not now. You can see that I am working, right? Maybe you can meet me on Monday at 8 in the morning.” Mark said immediately, not bothering to move his eyes from his laptop. 

“Such a drama queen..” Donghyuck thought as he smiled looking at Mark.

“I promise it won't take much time, it's just a sign… ”

Mark let out a sigh. “Fine! Your book?” 

“You need a pen to sign not a book,” Donghyuck said giggling as he reached a marker nearby and handed it to the older one. 

Mark looked at him confused as Donghyuck showed his forearm. 

“Signature, sir.” 

Mark broke into small giggles as he did as Donghyuck wanted. 

“According to section 127, the person who gets caught smiling is no longer called angry. And hence I call this case closed, your honor.” Donghyuck declared as Mark broke into laughter again. 

Donghyuck took this opportunity and brought his face close to Mark to leave a small peck. 

“Why?" Donghyuck whined when Mark rejected it and was answered by the older with a straight face and soft slap on his lips. 

❮ ♪♪ ɪ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ʜᴀᴛᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴀɪɴ   
ʙᴜᴛ ᴛᴏᴅᴀʏ ɪ ᴄᴀᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ   
ʟɪᴋᴇ ɪᴛ ᴀ ʙɪᴛ  
ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇ sᴏɴɢ ɪɴsɪᴅᴇ... ♪♪ ❯

“Do these trees around always look this creepy during rains?” Donghyuck asked, jumping with the sudden thunder as he closed the curtains later during the night.

Mark opened his tired eyes and hummed sheepishly and mumbling, “Dunno, ”

“What if there are people inside those trees waiting for the right moment to rob something?”

Mark snuggled into the blankets and rubbed his eyes. “Are you crazy? Donghyuck we live in a protected area and you're the one who liked a house with no city sounds surrounding us with your shitty quote that creativity needs peace and quiet.”

“Yeah, but-” Donghyuck flinched again as the thunderstorm became wild. 

“Geez, stop talking rubbish, come here.” 

Mark opened his arms with his eyes closed and called Donghyuck into a hug.

“Woah, why are you so warm?” Donghyuck said as he snuggled into him comfortably.

“Maybe 'cuz I am hot,” Mark answered, laughing.

When Donghyuck didn't give him any reaction he opened his eyes to look at Donghyuck.

“What's the point of being hot when you don't even let me kiss you?”

Mark giggled loudly as he felt his cheeks burning, “Ah- Stop being so weird.” 

“I don't know what you are talking about.” Donghyuck grinned as his hands traveled to the hem of Mark's shirt playing with it and hovering him as he smiled connecting their foreheads.

“What's with you today?” Mark questioned as Donghyuck kissed his forehead traveling down to peck his nose. “Are you trying to compensate for not able to come to my event?”

Donghyuck didn't answer his question but went on with his lips trailing over his cheek and jaw while his hands were caressing Mark's waist. 

“Donghyuck-ah…” Mark chuckled closing his eyes, relishing the sensation when the other tickled his neck with his lips tenderly kissing him.

When Donghyuck's hands traveled under his shirt, Mark changed the position making Donghyuck gasp in a low voice.

“What do you think you're doing, huh?” Mark questioned as his voice now turned much deeper making the younger's jaw drop a little. Mark beamed as he leaned forward burying his head into the younger's neck as his breath made the younger squirm under him shyly. 

Donghyuck closed his eyes as Mark moved his lips towards his ear, biting it softly. Donghyuck felt his stomach on fire and his heart thumping at a faster speed. Mark caressed his face onto the younger one with his nose inhaling the scent of the younger, refreshing, and relaxing him. 

A new tension inside Donghyuck rose as Mark inclined his face on to his, connecting their lips together. The sensation felt much hotter and not like trying to win a battle but seeking union and closeness and the sharing of one breath, one timeless and passionate moment. Heat rose into his cheek as their tongues touched delicately sending electrifying energy onto each other's body. Mark pulled back connecting their foreheads together as they breathed heavily.

“Is this all you wanted?” Mark smirked, caressing his cheek and took the moment to stare at Donghyuck's adorable face with his breath and hair all messed up. 

Donghyuck pulled Mark's face closer to him shaking his head and whispered softly, “No.” he exhaled, “More than this and more of you...”

Mark grinned as he traced the younger's lips and approached him again. They were never going to get enough of each other. It was no delay until both their bodies reciprocated with the deepest emotions they ever felt, in the dim-lit and cold night, the last thing both of them remembered was just like opening up to their souls as their bodies crashed and just lost into each other, their minds listening nothing but the other.

It felt as if levitating off the ground and floating in the air with their feelings can't be put into any existing words in the world, their souls tangled onto each other making them one fulfilling each other's deepest desires putting the night to an edge that will make them remember forever.

❮ ♪～ ...ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴀɪɴ. ʟᴏᴠᴇ sᴏɴɢ ʟᴏᴠᴇ sᴏɴɢ ʟᴏᴠᴇ sᴏɴɢ ʏᴇᴀʜ. ᴡᴇ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴡɴ ɪsʟᴀɴᴅ.  
ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜɪs, ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴛʜɪs ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴛʜɪs  
ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴛʜɪs ʀᴀɪɴ ♪～❯

The sun peeped in the ambient room through the flying curtains of the window as the yellow flashes coated the faces of the couple. Mark glinted his eyes with the irritation and the lack of darkness in the room only to feel a soft and small head resting on his clothed chest. He remembered that they decided to put on clothes due to the chilly effect of the rainy night only for the morning to get hot.

He yawned twice or thrice and his hands unconsciously reached Donghyuck's face. He caressed the younger's cheek and moved the hair strands covering his forehead and observed the red pimple on the right side of his head. He wondered if this is what he would feel in every mundane morrow; to wake up while his sun was still peacefully asleep in his arms with the half-open mouth and the pink lips appearing as if they were pinched. He wished that every morning was like this even when their bodies get all wrinkly and saggy.

Just as when he rubbed his eyes, Donghyuck woke up feeling disturbed partly because of Mark's action and partly because of the hot sun rays falling directly on his face. Nevertheless, he woke up smiling with half-opened eyes to see Mark smiling back at him.

"Good morning, " Donghyuck muttered in his usual 'I just woke up' voice adding a pinch onto his lover's cheek. They sat on the cot for some more time to completely get over the drowsiness even though they knew they slept enough. 

"Slept well?" Donghyuck asked keeping his shoulder around Mark's to which Mark answered casually, "Very well. I had a very nice sleep and a very nice experience. It's been long right? I like it." He answered shamelessly.

"Me too."

"Shall we do it again then?" Mark asked excitedly but obviously, he said that only to irritate the younger.

"Come here," Donghyuck gestured to come closer to him with a soft smile and he observed Mark obliging the same with a mischievous chuckle escaping his mouth but soon, it died down when he felt a strong thin finger flicking his forehead.

"Ow- I thought you were going to kiss me," Mark said rubbing the red surface on his head.

"Kiss you? With your filthy mouth like this in the morning? And, you, Mark Shameless Lee, what's with you getting horny in the morning?"

"What? I am just listening to my old therapist," He slowly retracted his position from the bed trying to move to the corner to escape from Donghyuck's antics, "He once told me to do what I love and you know, I love you... And you know how that sums up."

Donghyuck felt himself smiling at the silliness but Mark needed to know what he deserves for being so cheesy flirty early in the morning so he follows Mark as they run on the bed not bothering about spoiling the sheets.

"Is this what Taeyong taught you? Both of you are freaking perverts I swear."

Donghyuck raised his forearm to smack him right on his face while Mark grinned throughout. After the failed attempts Donghyuck couldn't help but laugh himself and pull Mark down to the mattress as they lied down trying to catch their breaths from laughing too much.

Donghyuck slapped slightly on his face before both of them broke out into soft giggles and continued their giggling for a whole minute when they locked their eyes for a second only to continue laughing again.

"My stomach hurts from laughing," Donghyuck said after composing himself as they both sat down in a proper position.

"Then skip work today," Mark said.

"Huh? You mad or what? How can I skip?"

"By telling that you are sick, you can lie to your senior, no problem," Mark muttered adjusting his sleeve looking at the younger.

"Very bad Mark Lee, very bad," Donghyuck said with a fake gasp mocking him.

Mark smiled before settling his hands around Donghyuck's waist and whispering in his ear, "We have worked a lot, last night, love. We need to rest."

Donghyuck looked at him in surprise before saying, "Mark Lee, you are absolutely shameless," before covering his mouth to giggle.

However, Mark's new variety of lines astounded Donghyuck in a new way and so he agreed and granted Mark's wish.

Before Mark can move from the bed to bathe, a soft hand encircled his wrist lightly, "Hmm?" Mark asked.

"We can go together." Donghyuck shyly said.

"What?"

"We can shower together."

"Really? Get here quickly then," Mark excitedly motioned Donghyuck to come forward and the younger nodded. Before Donghyuck could protest further Mark lifted him trying to wrap Donghyuck's legs on the sides of the waist of his own, prompting the other to circle his hands around his neck.

"Mark, you don't need to give me piggy pack ride, what's with you?"

"I am doing this because I want to."

"But- but I am heavy. You will break your bones."

"Don't worry, hyuckie. You have got my back." Mark smiled genuinely to which Donghyuck understanding the inner meaning of Mark's statement, reciprocated the same laying a gentle kiss on his right cheek.

Mark scrunched his nose at the action before carrying him to the washroom.

❮ ♪♪～ɪ sᴇᴇ ᴍʏ ʀᴇғʟᴇᴄᴛɪᴏɴ   
ɪɴsɪᴅᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴇʏᴇs   
sɪɴᴄᴇ ᴡᴇ'ʀᴇ ᴛʜɪs ᴄʟᴏsᴇ,   
ᴡʜᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴡʜɪʟᴇ  
sᴍɪʟɪɴɢ, ɪ ғᴇᴇʟ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴍʏ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ  
ᴅʀᴏᴘs ᴛᴏ ᴍʏ ᴋɴᴇᴇs ～♪♪ ❯

Donghyuck tried to balance his phone between the shoulder and ear while having his hearty breakfast which Mark ordered. They settled on ordering the breakfast as both of them felt lazy to do their jobs. Donghyuck felt lazy to cook the food while Mark felt the same for cleaning the mess. Eventually, Mark gave up even to try to give him excuses for how they must not waste money as he was himself feeling dizzy from everything. Both of them didn't mind spending a day without productivity and just laze around.

"Ah Ten Hyung, I told you I am sick." 

Donghyuck said through the phone trying to convince his colleague with a lie but it didn't mean successful enough because he knew Ten was as evil and clever as he was.

"Hyuck, I know what your 'sick' means, you can't fool me," the other voice unconditionally mocked him.

"Ah, Hyung! Please don't tell anybody, " Donghyuck whined through the phone.

"Yeah, okay. I only called you because I miss your food."

"Then, bye." Donghyuck let out a fake irritated sigh after cutting the call. Mark laughed a bit beside him very much to the annoyance of the other.

"What are you laughing at, dumbo?"

"Nothing," he said chuckling.

Donghyuck sighed a bit but ultimately he relaxed when knew how Ten just says things to annoy him. 'This is my own medicine' he thinks but is still proud of his capability.

While having breakfast they talked about mundane things with the least bit of energy but they were too much focussed on the food to think of anything else.

"Ah! I forgot to water the plants today, " Mark said a bit hesitant.

“Idiot, it rained yesterday." Donghyuck chuckled. Mark facepalmed realizing it.

Later both of them munched down the food and devouring it as they have had it. Their pet sat on the floor too, enjoying its meal. Donghyuck tore the pieces of pizza and dragged it to elongate the cheese with his teeth. He at the half of the box leaving the residue of the crusts on his plate.

Mark looked anticipating at his plate before saying, "Hyuck, how can you leave this? This is seriously the best part of pizza-"

"And that's why I save it for you, " Donghyuck muttered smiling while taking the piece crust and feeding him to cut him off. Mark ate the crust gratefully.

After completing the breakfast Donghyuck settled himself on the couch chilling out. Donghyuck played with the dog's fur and trying the experiment with the creature's flexibility by folding its limbs and untangling them again. Soon, Mark approached the couch with heavy steps and sat beside him.

"Baby? Get the ball from there and play yourself. Donghyuckie is busy," Donghyuck said.

"Uh?" Mark curiously asked.

"Not you, dumbo. I was talking to coco."

"Yeah, okay." Mark sighed.

Donghyuck paid no heed to what Mark did but just searched onto his laptop browsing his YouTube.

"Hyuck, I actually wanted to talk to you about something," Mark said seriously.

"Hey, actually, your Ted Talks episode is out on YouTube." Donghyuck prompted Mark about the release of his recent invitation in the TedxTalks to speak about Mark's life fighting with anxiety.

"Oh," Mark looked curiously, "ah! I am not sure about this you know, I could have done better," he awkwardly said.

"Hmm. Let's watch the video first." 

Donghyuck clicked on the thumbnail showing Mark's picture with a mike sticking at his cheek with a tape. They watched the whole video and Donghyuck was genuinely impressed by the way Mark tackled the difficulties of being open about his insecurities and anxiety. He handled the queries of the audience carefully so as to not spill something which was very insensitive or personal. However, at one point, Mark stumbled at one question mostly because he was taken aback.

"I am Lizzy, a twenty-three-year-old photographer."

"Oh, I am glad to find various amount of professions. It's very nice of you to follow your passion at such a young age." Mark said smiling.

"Yeah, I mean, Thank you, Mr.Mark Lee. I actually wanted to ask you of why you didn't write a story about your life?"

The audience and Mark cackled into laughter.

"I mean, not to prude, but the way you idealize your life is just astounding. And writers usually pen their views; or even epilogue their lives into an edition."

Mark chuckled adjusting his mike.

"Lizzie, Right? If I had written a book, would you come here for my speech to learn about my life? Ted talks will suffer the advertising crisis." He announced in a playful tone.

The audience clapped their hands at the unexpected humor encouraging the atmosphere to get on.

"No, it's not like that-"

Mark cut her off, "Just kidding, there is no particular reason for that, it's just I never really thought about that, you know. Out of the two books, I have written, debut one, I planned it from before and the other one, I had a contract so yeah, that's how it is."

"Thank you, Mr.Mark."

"Thank you, Lizzie."

'Well, it wasn't a complete lie' Mark thought to himself. It wasn't a complete lie that he didn't think of it but there is a reason he deliberately didn't think about it.

As the video got completed, Donghyuck glanced at Mark and nodded, "You did well, Mark."

Mark hummed in response as he stretched his body and trying to bring up the topic he was trying for a very long time.

"By the way, you said you wanted to say something hmm?" Donghyuck asked curiously.

"Yeah about that, I wanted to talk to you," Mark said in a low whisper. Donghyuck looked at him straight in the eye biting his lip in inquisitiveness.

Eventually, Mark's hands catch up with the locks of the pocket of his pants revealing a small velvety box. Mark hesitantly opened the material catching Donghyuck surprised. 

"Mark," Donghyuck said.

"This is not a proposal, hyuck. It's a promise." Mark muttered holding the rings in his palm.

"Mark, this is not necessary we know we love each other and that's enough-"

"I love you, Donghyuck," Mark said finally.

"I really do. I'm not in the principle of denying my love over simple pleasures which are only seen as external materialism. I know you may not think this could be necessary or to even define our predicament because I am aware, love, aware that no ring can encompass the enormity of the bond we share. But I have discerned this as an opportunity for me to do something special, for you, for us. I know, a ring cannot clarify the things we underwent together. But this is a sign, a testament, of our promise hyuck, that our love will always stand before everything. I know, during all this time, we have lived together, we got into clashes but it's something I can only dream of doing that with you. Only you, love. People come and people go, people either hurt me or lend me lessons, but you are the only person I can feel worthy to endure all this."

"Have you wondered about the question I awkwardly dismissed in the video? I didn't write about our life because I still want to complete it with you, love; I still want to explore everything with you. And Moreover, it's our story, and I don't feel it's necessary to revolve the world or ourselves around the past; because all I care about is our present and the future. It's you who matters, not the whole world."

"Hyuck, we have come a long way and I know so many things can occur in a duration of time. Tomorrow we can be 40 shaving the beard or the next day getting 60 buying a ticket for a senior citizen; Things are variable and ever-changing but I need you as my constant in my life. You are the constant of my life which cannot be differentiated with any value or integrated with any sign. I promise you, on my behalf, that I will hold onto you, even when they skies get high or oceans get deep; that I will stay by your side, forever, in quality and quantity; that I will stay with you forever. And it's a promise."

Donghyuck sat there agape and in utter serenity as he felt the words not able to leave his mouth. He gave a small smile before glancing at him hopefully.

"Mark this is so beautiful, I- I promise to love you always," Donghyuck said cupping his face.

Mark smiled at his acknowledgment and grinned happily when Donghyuck leaned his hand forward. Mark unhurriedly slipped the shiny ring into his finger and observed Donghyuck doing the same when he leaned his.

Donghyuck kissed the ring on his finger, "Mark, love, you know, I really appreciate your effort but I want you to know that I was up for it always, I can never imagine a life without you; You have become an indispensable fraction which has always filled my life into a whole number. I can say, in all my assumptions I have made in my career, in my whole life, you are the best one. This might be cliche but I knew you were the one from when I realized I was in love with you and I know I will never be out of love with you; and this, my love, is the truest assumption I have made."

"Thank you Donghyuck, for trusting me with your life, thank you for everything."

"Dude, don't say this; like me, trusting you for my life makes sense... But you, trusting me for your life doesn't," Donghyuck paused to laugh, "I, like, annoy you every second."

Mark scoffed, "I love the way you shift from love to dude in a second."

"I can also go from kissing on your lips and kicking on your stomach in a split second."

"Shall we go with the kissing first then?" Mark smiled.

"Yes, I am waiting."

Both of them chuckled before bringing their faces close to each other as their lips brushed twice, thrice, like always. Mark sighed as he felt a sense of warmth and familiarity resting between them. 

“So you are ready to stay with me until we are old and grow old with me? Holding sticks on one hand and other holding each other's hands? Our memory fading to forget everyone and everything but us, will you stay by my side?” Mark questioned. 

Donghyuck didn't forget those words.   
He didn't say anything but he smiled leaning onto the kiss. Donghyuck felt the same intensity as he felt the first time he kissed the other.

Yes, he was ready. To walk with them until the last breath. With those wrinkled hands tied onto each other, he was ready.

Pulling away, the males saw their dog staring at them blankly as it trapped the ball between its mouth.

Mark chuckled, "Our baby is no longer innocent after watching us kissing."

"It's okay, everyone gets naughty eventually, " Donghyuck said.

"Yeah."

"Okay, anyway, shall we go with the second one then?"

"What?"

"I first kissed you then I told you I was going to kick you."

Mark opened his mouth in shock, "You are extremely s-”

"Stunning? Sexy? I know."

"I meant scary, but okay I guess." He laughed.

Donghyuck let out a euphoric laugh, a loud one, with full or merry and joy and Mark wondered is this what the prologue of his story would be like. Mark experienced feelings of extreme happiness and contempt. Mark knew Donghyuck was the light of his life and when he shyly covered his mouth after laughing too much, Mark reminisced the vision of a sun shyly protruding out of a cloud but spreading its light and warmth as ever.

Donghyuck said linking their shoulders, "Now there is no backing off love, you have no choice but to stay with me forever."

❮ ♪♫ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ᴏᴠᴇʀʟᴀᴘᴘɪɴɢ  
ɪɴsɪᴅᴇ ᴍᴇ,   
ɪɴsɪᴅᴇ ᴍʏ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ,  
ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ ᴍᴏɪsᴛ ʀᴀɪɴ  
ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪɴғᴜsᴇᴅ ᴍᴇ.... ♪♫ ❯

⇄ ◃◃ ► ▹▹ ↻

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're still here? My god, trust us, you're so amazing ;)) We mean it. You've made till the very last stage of this book :)) 
> 
> This book is specially to tell you that you're never alone. At some point in our life we might face similar problems like Mark in the book, but in those times, staying strong is what matters. You're life is always in your hands and no one can save yourself but you, life is your battlefield, choose your side wisely. We tried to bring about the importance of friendship, love and self love at the same time the importance of parents and family. Mental health is a first priority and shouldn't be neglected, talk to others, go to therapy, dont feel shy, eat and sleep properly, spend time with family amd friends and never let past control your life.
> 
> We hope this book made you feel forget about the stress and brought a smile on your face. Thanks to each and everyone who read this, it means a lot to us. Keep smiling.  
> BYE♡

**Author's Note:**

> Hello guys! Did you like the first chapter? Please look forward for the next one.  
> Take care♪～(´ε｀ )


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